#43 What to Do When Your Husband Gives You "The Ick"

Culture is shaping how we see marriage, parenting, and even desire itself. That’s why I created Desire Lab (https://hifam.com/desire ) — my membership for women who want to reignite polarity, attraction, and chemistry in long-term relationships, even when cultural messages push the opposite. Today, I’m unpacking those same culture-wide forces and how they’re driving birth rates down across the West. We’re told it’s about money, stability, or timing… but are those really the reasons? Or is something deeper happening beneath the surface? If you’ve ever questioned whether parenthood is still worth it — or felt the tension between culture’s messages and your own longings — this episode is for you.

More and more women are quietly asking the same question: is motherhood even worth it anymore? Between the sacrifices, the cultural critiques, and the pressure to “have it all,” the question doesn’t come with an easy answer. That’s why I created The Studio (https://hifam.com/studio) — my membership where I help women design family cultures that feel joyful, resilient, and rooted in what actually matters. Because when your foundation at home is strong, everything else in life feels more grounded. But here’s the tension: our culture often paints motherhood in extremes. Either it’s glorified as the only path to meaning, or dismissed as a burden that drains your best years. Neither story captures the full truth. In this episode, I want to explore that tension. Let's talk honestly about the costs, the rewards, and the deeper transformations of parenthood — without giving you a packaged answer. Because this isn’t about telling you what to choose, it’s about asking the right questions. And if you’re ready to go deeper — to rebuild your mindset, rediscover play in your home, or strengthen your marriage — you’ll find that inside Alchemize (https://hifam.com/alchemize), Reclaim Play (https://reclaimplay.com), and Married U (https://married-u.com).

When desire goes offline, everything in marriage feels harder. That’s why I created Desire Lab (https://hifam.com/desire) — my ongoing membership that helps women reignite polarity, chemistry, and attraction. Because when the spark is alive, conflict shrinks, connection grows, and everything else gets easier. But here’s the problem: today, so many couples are talking about their marriages in clinical terms. Words like unsafe, gaslighting, narcissism, or stonewalling have crept into everyday conversations — and instead of bringing couples closer, they often drive them further apart.   In this episode, I share the five most common “diagnoses” put on marriages — and why those labels make things worse. More importantly, I’ll show you how to replace them with clear, honest, and practical ways of communicating that lead to repair, grace, forgiveness, and forward motion. Because your marriage isn’t a pathology. It’s a living relationship. And when you’re ready to go deeper and actually build the marriage of your dreams with the partner you already have, that’s exactly what I teach inside Married-U (https://married-u.com).

Mindset is everything. It shapes whether life’s challenges make us stronger — or keep us stuck. That’s why I created Alchemize, my signature mindset course where I teach you how to transform struggles into strength, and turn setbacks into resilience - https://hifam.com/alchemize Because here’s the truth: self-help promises transformation, but too often it does the opposite. Hidden beneath the buzzwords and labels is a trap. Instead of growing, we get boxed in by identities like “people-pleaser,” “perfectionist,” “trauma survivor,” or “high-functioning.” At first, those labels feel validating. They explain why you are the way you are. But very quickly, they shrink your confidence and keep you fragile. They give language, but also limits. Instead of helping you heal, they make you feel broken. Instead of empowering you, they keep you small. In this episode, I unpack five popular self-help labels that secretly hold women back — and show you how to let them go. Because you are not your label. You don’t need another box to live in. You need freedom, strength, and the courage to face life without constant self-diagnosis. Let’s drop the baggage, quiet the noise, and get back to real growth.

Most "sensory-seeking," "strong-willed," and "high needs" children don't need therapy — they need THIS → https://reclaimplay.com/course Here's what I've discovered after raising 5 kids: When children get the movement, exploration, and independent play they're designed for, most of those "diagnostic" behaviors naturally resolve. They develop focus, emotional regulation, social skills, and confidence — not through intervention, but through what their developing brains actually crave. Before you label your child, give them what they're biologically designed to thrive with. Yet... Here's what's happening instead - we live in a world where diagnostic labels are everywhere — and sometimes they help. But too often, we’re taking language meant for clinical settings and casually applying it to normal childhood behavior. That's why we start parenting the label instead of the child. In this episode, we’ll explore: - Why common diagnosis terms might not mean what you think - How these labels can quietly limit your child’s growth (and your confidence as a parent) - What to focus on instead — so you can meet your child’s real needs without boxing them in This isn’t about ignoring challenges. It’s about seeing your child fully — and giving them the chance to rise beyond the story they’ve been given. The shift we’ll talk about today can change the way you see your child, your family culture, and even yourself. 🔥 Reclaim Play – Create a home that meets your child’s developmental needs through independent play: https://reclaimplay.com/course 🔥 The Studio – Build a family culture where your child's identity comes from values, not labels: https://hifam.com/studio

Not everything is trauma.  Not every disagreement is gaslighting. Not every meltdown is dysregulation. As therapeutic language becomes more mainstream, it’s seeping into how we talk about everything — from parenting and marriage to how we see ourselves. But what if constantly labeling our family dynamics through a therapy lens is doing more harm than good? In this episode, I share 10 ways therapy-speak might be unintentionally hurting your family culture — from overdiagnosing normal struggles, to turning illness into identity, to undermining repair in relationships. Whether you're a parent, partner, or simply someone trying to build a healthier home life, this episode will help you reclaim your confidence, your connection, and your clarity — without the constant need for a label. 🔹 We’ll talk about: • When labeling becomes disabling • Why therapy talk can weaken your instincts • How diagnostic language might hurt your marriage or your child • The risk of turning challenges into fixed identities • How to reconnect with your family’s real culture — beyond pathologizing RESOURCES  🌱 Ready to reclaim your child’s confidence through independent play? Join Reclaim Play → https://reclaimplay.com Build a Strong Family Culture with The Studio - https://hifam.com/studio Want to go deeper in strengthening your marriage — without pathologizing every disagreement? Learn more about Married-U - https://married-u.com Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up by Abigail Shrier - https://amzn.to/4h2IYMx

“Something feels off with my child…” “Is this just a phase… or something more serious?” “Should I get them evaluated?” When your child is struggling socially, emotionally, or behaviorally, the pressure to seek a diagnosis can feel overwhelming — from teachers, doctors, friends, even your own inner panic. But what if we’re rushing to label what’s actually part of normal — if difficult — child development? In this episode, I share 10 things every parent should try before going down the path of evaluation. Not to deny or delay treatment — but to slow down, reconnect, and make sure we’re not pathologizing something that’s entirely natural… and potentially solvable at home. ❤️ This is NOT about avoiding hard truths. ✅ It’s about checking the basics first. There’s a powerful bonus tip at the end that might be the most important of all — one that could completely change how your child sees themselves (and how you support them). 🔥 Before rushing into labels or diagnoses, give your child the gift of unstructured, independent play — it supports emotional regulation, resilience, and connection. Inside Reclaim Play, you’ll learn how to create a home where your child can thrive — no constant interventions required. Start Today - https://reclaimplay.com/course Books mentioned: Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up by Abigail Shrier - https://amzn.to/4h2IYMx What-to-Do Guides for Kids - https://amzn.to/4480ax6 

Marriage doesn’t come with a manual—but Married-U is close. Doors are OPEN - https://married-u.com/university “It was just a kiss cam… until it wasn’t.” “How could they not know they’d be on camera?” “Serves them right.” Chances are, you’ve already seen the infamous Coldplay kiss cam clip. A CEO and his HR exec caught in a scandal, ducking for cover, going viral for all the wrong reasons. But why did this cheating story blow up more than any other? Why was it so satisfying to watch—and so easy to shame? In this episode, I’m not here to pile on. I’m here to ask: 💥 Why are we so obsessed with watching people fall? 💥 Why is cancel culture still thriving—no matter which side you’re on? 💥 And what does this scandal reveal about our deepest fears, our marriages, and the fragile thread holding the modern family together? This is a reaction—but also a reframing. If you’ve ever felt disillusioned about love, marriage, or trust… this might hit harder than you expect. 🔥 Want to build a relationship that can withstand the temptations and chaos of our culture? Start your journey here: https://married-u.com/university 🛡️ Learn to guard your marriage, build unshakable trust, and stay connected even when life gets loud.

"He just gave me the ick again." "The way he eats. The way he breathes." "I can’t explain it… I just can’t unsee it." At first, it was funny. Relatable. A little cringe, maybe. But lately? You’re noticing how quick the shift happens — from love to annoyance. From playfulness to disgust. From feeling chosen… to feeling trapped. You still care. You still want to want him. But something about him — about you with him — makes your skin crawl. Is it a sign? A red flag? The beginning of the end? Or could it be something deeper — something no one told you to expect when real life and real love collide? This episode isn’t here to shame or mock. It’s here to hold a mirror up to what might really be happening when “the ick” shows up in your relationship… and how it might actually be a path back to connection, if you’re willing to see it differently. Listen all the way through — there’s something in here you won’t be able to un-hear. The FREE Marriage By Design Masterclass - https://married-u.com/marriagebydesign 🔥 Want to understand yourself and your relationship like never before and create the marriage of your dreams? Start here: https://married-u.com/university 🔥 Craving emotional closeness and desire again? This changes the game: https://hifam.com/desirelab 

"We're just not compatible." "Why is marriage this hard?" "I keep getting the ick every time he does that thing." "Maybe I married the wrong person." You didn’t think it would feel like this. The silence. The tension. The resentment that creeps in even when he’s just breathing. You’re not dramatic. You’re not broken. But something isn’t right — and no one prepared you for what happens when the story in your head about your marriage starts to shift. You’ve Googled it. You’ve tried to talk about it. You’ve done everything “right”… and still feel more alone than ever. This episode isn’t about blaming anyone — not you, not him. It’s about one shift — a new perspective you’ve likely never heard put this way — that might completely reframe the story you’ve been telling yourself… and give you a way back to what you’ve been aching for. Listen to the end. It changes everything.   🔥 Ready to master the marriage skills no one teaches you? Transform your relationship from the inside out: https://married-u.com/university 🔥 Want to reignite the chemistry and desire that brought you together? Rediscover your spark: https://hifam.com/desirelab