Solo Series Chapter 9: The Six Stages of Change (Don’t Start with Taking Action)
In this solo series episode, Lisa invites listeners to rethink change beyond “fixing what’s wrong,” and into a more humane, nervous-system–smart way of becoming. She critiques pathology-first mental health models, centers a trauma-informed, strengths-based lens, and names the difference between compassionate, intentional change and fear-driven extremes. Moving through the six stages of change, Lisa reminds us that real progress is often quiet and internal and shows, through relatable examples, how small, steady steps can create lasting, sustainable change.
Topics Include:
Person-Centered Diagnosis
Judgement
Stages of Change
Processing Emotions
[2:17] Lisa begins this episode by revisiting a topic from a previous conversation. She clarified that her position is not to dismiss the reality of mental illness or to discard the DSM entirely. By labeling conditions as "disorders," the system inherently frames them as something wrong or broken within a person. Lisa argues for a shift in perspective, suggesting that these behaviors could instead be viewed as adaptive, wise, or even brilliant coping mechanisms developed in response to difficult circumstances.
[11:26] Lisa explores the social-psychological concept of judgment. In our social context, we often believe we want to be judged positively and avoid negative judgment. Using body size as an example, she notes that someone who has experienced shame for being in a larger body might believe that changing their body to receive positive judgment will bring them happiness. The core human longing, she argued, is not to be judged, but to be seen. The goal is to understand that intentional change can be beneficial, if paired with the internal work of self-love and acceptance.
[21:19] Lisa focuses on the "Stages of Change" model, a therapeutic framework for understanding how people change behavior. Lisa emphasizes that this model reveals change as a process, not a single event, and explains why simply deciding to change often fails. She outlines the six stages of change:
Pre-contemplation: The person is not considering changing their behavior.
Contemplation: The individual becomes aware of the issue but has not committed to action.
Preparation: The person starts to plan, gather information, and make small, experimental changes.
Action: The individual actively implements their plan and modifies their behavior.
Maintenance: The focus shifts to sustaining the new behavior long-term and developing coping strategies for temptations.
Recurrence/Relapse: Presented not as a failure but as an integral part of the process but an opportunity to learn about triggers, practice self-compassion, and restart the process with new knowledge.
[29:53] Lisa points out that three stages occur before any concrete action is taken. She talks about how people often fail to make lasting changes because they try to jump directly from thinking about a problem to the "action" stage which is unrealistic and sets them up for failure.
[59:54] Lisa discusses how the real work of change begins internally and invisibly. Lisa reiterates that traditional diets fail because they force individuals to jump from "pre-contemplation" directly to "action," ignoring the nervous system and emotional safety. Lisa revisits the concept of baby steps as the key to any sustainable change.
[1:07:17] Lisa emphasized that our actions are often attempts to solve emotional problems with physical solutions. The answer to "not feeling enough" is not to do more, but to sit with the feeling itself.
*The views of podcast guests do not necessarily reflect the views and beliefs of Lisa Schlosberg or Out of the Cave, LLC.
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