How To Know When You're Loved, And When You're Not - MTP504

Co-Host Kenny Vaughan (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/kenny) My first-time guest Kenny Vaughan is the author of The Right Fight and founder of Shield of Strength. He spends a lot of time thinking about what love is, and isn't. For years, Kenny thought love was only a feeling...but then realized there was something deeper there. He didn't buy that "love is a decision", either. What does, "I love you, I'm just not in love with you anymore" actually mean? And what does Kenny mean when he says, "I feel love her because she loves me?" And how did we get to the point where so-called "love" is actually defined by transactions in our culture? According to Kenny, love is both your offense and your defense. What does that mean? How much is love about being "nice" to each other? Why can that attitude of being "nice" actually show you don't love someone rather than truly loving them? Okay, so then what does "tough love" really mean? And what does this all have to do with how women crave "emotional availability"? Why is it so important for us (and women) to know why someone is doing what they're doing when we're in a relationship with them? How the idea of protecting a woman integrally tied to love? (Hint: Just because you'd die for her doesn't necessarily mean you love her.) So what comes first, the feeling of love or the decision to love? And does it stay that way forever? When one partner blames the other for a relationship going badly, what might actually be going on there? So is the phrase "deserve what you want" in line with actual love, or is it too self-serving? And most importantly, is Kenny related to Stevie Ray? The everyday carry for "Big Four" men is VAMANOS. What is it? Find out here: https://vamanos.chat === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

===SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT=== Most of us can't stand small talk. It's shallow. It's repetitive. But in this culture, it's also absolutely necessary. Have you ever realized we have one set of canned lines we deliver to people we know when we see them? But there are also completely different things we've grown accustomed to saying to people we don't know. I'll give you the absolute clearest example in this brief episode. When we approach and meet women, is there really a clear set of "small talk" guidelines? The answer will surprise you...along with the subtle change to how society tends to work nowadays in general. Did you know that VAMANOS is the everyday carry for "Big Four" men? Getchasum at https://vamanos.chat === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. It's all built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

Co-Host Sanya Bari (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/sanya) My first time guest Sanya Bari is a relationship therapist and emotional clarity expert...which given she's from New Jersey means she's in high demand. She asked a dangerous question: What keeps men from thriving? To get the show rolling, Sanya riffs away on what her findings were. So what is the difference between merely surviving and thriving? What is the real "drug" that keeps us from being our best selves? (Hint: It's not booze or ganja.) What about being "locked in" to a project or goal? Is that a good or a bad thing? If you "survive" effectively enough, others may actually give you accolades for it. But what's the danger behind that mindset? Why does Sanya believe that most guys really don't even realize when they're slipping into "survival mode"? And how to we recover from that and get ourselves back? How do we handle seeing everyone else's "highlight reels" on Facebook knowing that we're NOT okay? How do the mixed messages we as men get about emotions and logic affect us...especially in our relationships with women? What is the habit nearly everyone in Western culture has gotten into nowadays that represents the exact opposite of thriving...yet people seem to like it that way? Next, the surprising truth about how failure to thrive may indeed be passed on generationally. How do you break that cycle? When it comes to relationships with women, how do we keep entering into relationships with women that exhaust us and hold us back rather than helping us thrive? Be a "Big Four" man who gets women: https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

===SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT=== There's so much shop-worn dating advice out there we've heard SO often that I swear we don't even realize there's anything wrong with it. Example...have you ever noticed that virtually all tips on approaching women, meeting them and interacting women them assume a playful, happy-go-lucky, flirty woman as a given? The only other frame of mind we consider possible in that scenario is disgust and anger...directed at the guy approaching her! But that's just not how life works, is it? There are perfectly sane, decent women out there who will not be at their best when it's time to meet them and interact with them. They could be women you're just meeting, or long-time acquaintances. But either way, interacting them is an opportunity we should absolutely not avoid. Here's why...and this could revolutionize your approach out there. Did you know that VAMANOS is the everyday carry for "Big Four" men? Getchasum at https://vamanos.chat === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. It's all built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

Co-Host Emily McKay (https://www.deservewhatyouwant.com) Since our last episode together, Emily and I celebrated 20 years since we met. Over the course of two decades, we've realized there are seasons to a marriage. Now obviously, most couples would hope for an endless springtime rather than the winter of their discontent, but what we're talking about here isn't quite so literal. It's not just that things change both in the marriage and around you. That's inevitable in this life. It's not even about the evolution of the marriage, or the both of you over time, really.  Rather, it's a definite smooth and perhaps even rhythmic flow from one major theme of your life together into another. Now, Emily and I met when we were in our mid- and late-thirties, respectively. For the benefit of those of you listening who might be younger, what seasons can younger couples expect? Is it all about being DINKS (or even DINKWADS)? What about the "Honeymoon Phase"? And the dreaded "Seven Year Itch"? Does Parenthood count as a season? As for us, we went through "travel season" and "youth sports season". What's next? We were still having kids at 40 and 45 years old, so we aren't "empty nesters" yet. What might that season look like? What about growing old together? What are some surprises that season might bring? There are now 67 retired episodes, featuring some of the OGs in the men's dating space. Get them all for a donation at: https://mountaintoppodcast.com/retired === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

===SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT=== Better men get better women. To be a better man, the "Big Four" is the standard. Once you're a "Big Four" man, you deserve what you want. Although there's always room for improvement, most men who listen to this show have three of the "Big Four" down pretty well. You're masculine, you like women and you're a man of good, solid character. But when "confronted" with an attractive woman we'd like to meet, talk to and get to know, we freeze up and "fail to deploy". What's up with that? Why is the CONFIDENCE part so difficult? I mean, without it, how are women ever going to know you represent the other three pillars of the "Big Four" as well? In this week's SFTS you'll not only get answers to why so many men struggle with the confidence part, you'll get practical solutions to fix the problem and make sure it never happens again. Did you know that VAMANOS is the everyday carry for "Big Four" men? Getchasum at https://vamanos.chat === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. It's all built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

Co-Host Sandra Myers (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/sandra) My first-time guest Sandra Myers is a matchmaker who heads up Select Date Society. In this fast-paced and often funny episode, we talk about how (and when) men and women tend to blow it in the first three months of dating each other. To kick things off, Sandra throws down how WAY too many people mess up within the first three MINUTES, or on the first date. Here's a hint: How many people do you know who love biographies? What are some other ways we as men all tend to sabotage any chances with a woman early on? Why does living in the past even in a present relationship have such damaging consequences? How does a "dry spell" over the past several months affect our mindset when getting into a new relationship? What's the trap that couples fall into on or shortly after the first date that instantly creates a bad habit that could doom the relationship later? What's the right level of "being mysterious" early on? I mean, where's the proper balance between oversharing and not sharing enough to make a connection? Is there a good reason to "test jealousy"...and if so, what does it look like? Where do we as men often sabotage any chance of real communication with a woman? Have you subscribed to the free daily newsletter yet? It's a fluff-free experience full of actionable tips. https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

===SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT=== One of the most tired tips for men when it comes to telling if a woman is attracted is "she makes eye contact with you and smiles". Way too many of us as men have never seen that happen even once. It's no wonder we're so frustrated. But wait a second, could we be robbing ourselves of potential "moments" with women because we're avoiding eye contact with women to begin with? Why do so many of us as men do that? What could we be possibly afraid of? Well, the simple (and easy!) cure for this weird and devastating problem is contained in this brief episode. Subscribe to the free newsletter and download your free copy of Sticking Points Solved: https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. It's all built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

Co-Host Steve "The Dean" Williams (https://mountaintoppodcast.com/dean) Well, here we are...finally all the way to episode #500. Massive respect and appreciation to all of you guys who've supported the show over the years, many since the very beginning back in 2007...when it was originally called The Chick Whisperer. The first guy I thought of to join me for this milestone episode was none other than Steve "The Dean" Williams, who co-hosted the first ten episodes with me BITD. And it's been too long, so the OGs got the band back together for one special show. Get your crayons out, gentlemen...we're about to chop up some game. And I figured nothing would launch us both into one of our patented rants than a topic like What's Wrong With Men And Women Nowadays? We get rolling by talking about what's changed over the last 19 years, and what's stayed the same. How have men been blown and tossed by whatever the "next new thing" is in dating and relationship advice? What has post-modern culture done to men's mindset regarding women? Are men really willing to forsake women nowadays at the risk of their name, bloodline and legacy? And wait a minute...are the redpilled "gurus" on YouTube the ones encouraging that empty end result? Why don't you hear about "toxic masculinity" in the media anymore? How can it be after all these years that most men still don't understand how women are wired sexually? What happens when "truth" become negotiable? Sure, we sound like a couple of "Uncs", but what if the new school really is the old school? OGs got your back. Has it taken you 500 episodes to finally get signed up for the free newsletter? https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === This show is built on the "Big Four": Confidence, Masculinity, Liking Women, and Good Character. Better men get better women. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review.

===SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT=== You've heard the term. "Liquid courage" refers to slamming back a few alcoholic drinks before expecting to approach and meet women. It goes hand-in-hand with "night game" culture of meeting women in bars and clubs, doesn't it? There's no doubt that a little "social lubrication" to grease the skids and lower inhibition really can work. But there's also a good, solid reason why I strongly discourage alcohol consumption during Ten-Plus Live weekends with guys out in field. Subscribe to the free newsletter and download your free copy of Sticking Points Solved: https://mountaintoppodcast.com === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE === Snippets From The Summit are all about completely original ideas for success with women that also happen to be extremely effective...and actionable. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!