310. What Shuts Down Curiosity (and What Brings It Back)

What happens when you've done all the right things, built the life you were supposed to build, and something inside you still won't settle?  This episode is for the physician whose inner self feels restless.  You'll hear Ni-Cheng share the raw truth of being diagnosed with breast cancer at 31 and what her body was trying to tell her. Jessie tells the story of the day she handed in her resignation and felt sick instead of relieved.  You'll meet the concept of expansion anxiety — the feeling that you've lost your mind when really you're just growing — and the idea of jumping into cold water with a life preserver.  You'll leave with permission to stop using struggle as proof of your strength and to let the easy parts be easy. "There are no shortcuts to a big life. There are many shortcuts to a life that looks big on the outside, but is killing you on the inside." - A line, from Enia Oakes' 108 Notes from a Studio in Oakland, is the heart of this episode.   Pearls of Wisdom If you don't choose who you're becoming, circumstances choose for you. Not choosing is still a choice. Jump but with a life preserver. When you feel untethered, it often means you're growing. Let the easy parts be easy. The person you become will catch you when you fall — if you've taken good care of her. Reflection Questions If you were building your life on purpose starting today, what would stay and what would go? Where are you taking shortcuts to a life that looks big but doesn't feel like yours? What life preservers do you already have, and what do you still need before we jump? Closing Invitation If you are in a season where your old life isn't quite fitting and the new one hasn't yet taken shape, you are not lost — you are in the liminal space where real change happens.  I'd love to support you there through coaching, a retreat, or a free live-stream mindful yoga class. 1:1 Coaching: www.jessiemahoneymd.com CME Wellness Retreats: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Free Live-Stream Mindful Yoga: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga The PAUSE (my blog): www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog Listen to other episodes of the Healing Medicine Podcast page: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast Referenced in this episode: Episode 261 with Enya Oakes on 108 Notes from a Studio in Oakland Jessie's TEDx Talk: What Would Love Do? The Question We're Not Asking Join Jessie and Ni-Cheng for the Connect in Nature Retreat at Nicasio Creek Farm: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats. Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.  

Do you know what you want? Not what is expected. Not what comes next on the list but what you actually want. For many of us, curiosity has been crowded out by pressure, productivity, and the conditioned belief that we should already know the answer. In this episode, we explore what curiosity needs to grow, what gets in its way, and how to start creating the conditions for more of it. PEARLS OF WISDOM • Curiosity does not grow well under pressure. It grows in specific conditions, and those conditions can be understood, created, and practiced. • For most physicians, curiosity has been pushed aside by urgency, productivity, perfectionism, and the belief that we should already know the answer. • Curiosity is physical, not just intellectual. Noticing how it feels in the body — openness, energy, flow, aliveness — gives us clues about how to create more of it. • Solving and fixing mode is the opposite of curious mode. Clarity, creativity, and connection show up when there is more room, not more thinking. • What we practice grows. Small, repeated conditions for curiosity matter more than one big breakthrough. Reflection Questions What conditions help curiosity grow for us, and what shuts it down most quickly? Where do we feel more open, more creative, and more like ourselves? What role do nature, community, and white space play in our own clarity? What strengths in us might be asking for more room right now?     If this episode resonated, and you are in a season of figuring out what is next — or simply wanting to feel more alive and connected to what you love — curiosity is the place to start. Listening to podcasts is a wonderful way to begin. Putting yourself in environments that support curiosity is where things shift. The Connect in Nature Retreat that Ni-Cheng and I co-lead is happening again this summer.  It is designed around exactly what we talk about in this episode: space, nature, community, embodiment, and room for curiosity to grow.  Retreats at Nicasio Creek Farm offer the same optimal conditions.  Coaching, one-on-one or in small groups, is another way to explore what you are asking for more room in your life. www.jessiemahoneymd.com www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.

Many of us have had frustrating experiences with AI — not because we lack intelligence or willingness, but because no one has translated it in a way that makes sense for how we actually work and live. This is part two of a conversation with my son Slade about using AI in mindful, practical ways. We talk about real use cases — reviewing a lease, finding a job, making a blog findable, writing show notes — and what it actually takes to communicate clearly with a tool that cannot read your mind. What emerged is something we did not expect: the skills that make AI work well are the same skills we teach in coaching. Get clear on your end goal. Offer the right context. Know where your own judgment and voice still matter. PEARLS OF WISDOM • AI cannot replace your authentic voice. Its output is never you, and that is where your value and job security live. • Communicating well with AI requires the same skills as communicating well with humans — clarity, context, and knowing your desired outcome. • AI can amplify your work and help people find you, but the creative and human parts still belong to you. • Knowing what AI can and cannot help with brings simplicity and reduces the overwhelm of endless possibilities. Reflection Questions Where in our work or life might AI save us energy on tasks that are not our unique gift, so we can protect time for what is? What would it look like to approach AI the way we approach learning a new language — with patience, curiosity, and a willingness to ask for help? Where might we be avoiding AI out of frustration rather than true limitation, and what would one small experiment look like? If you are curious about using AI in a more grounded, intentional way, Slade now offers sessions to help you build your own relationship with these tools. You can find him at AIWithSlade.com. Slade will also share his wisdom and answer questions in a live Zoom session for the Mindful Healthcare Collective and Pause & Presence. April 24th, 9:30 am Pacific Register here: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/curious-about-coaching He will share a practical, grounded, and mindful approach to AI. You will leave able to relate to it more easily, effectively, and efficiently — so you can spend more time on what matters most in your practice, your business, and/or your life. This session will be clear, honest, and jargon-free. No technical background required. About Slade  Slade Mahoney is an AI consultant and strategist based in San Diego — and the son of Dr. Jessie Mahoney, founder of Pause and Presence Coaching and Retreats. He got into this work because he believes AI should make us more human, not less. Too many brilliant, accomplished people are spending their most valuable hours on things that have nothing to do with why they became brilliant and accomplished in the first place — the emails, the scheduling, the follow-ups, the research — tasks that have nothing to do with why they built something of their own. The work that means most to him is helping people like his mom: smart, accomplished people who are curious about what AI can do and want to explore it for their business, their work, or their life. In his career, he has built AI tools for organizations ranging from small businesses to Kaiser Permanente, The Walt Disney Company, and the CDC — giving him a rare view into how AI is actually being deployed at every level and what it means for the rest of us. He works one-on-one with physician entrepreneurs and small business owners — teaching them how to use AI to build real tools for their businesses and get back to the work only they can do. Find him at aiwithslade.com (http://aiwithslade.com). And if you are a physician who wants support in a deeply human space — through coaching, retreats, yoga, or simply being in community with other physicians who understand — I would love to connect with you. www.jessiemahoneymd.com www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog  www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast   Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.

What if your hesitation around AI is not a problem, but a reflection of how much you care? Have you noticed how thoughtful, conscientious people imagine the worst-case scenario when something new arrives? Could it be that some of the fear around AI is less about the tool itself and more about our stories about it? And what if you do not need to love it to change your relationship with AI? This is part one of a two-part conversation with Jessie's son, Slade, about AI — not the technology itself, but the feelings it evokes and the stories we tell about it. We explore why AI feels so charged for physicians and high-achieving women, and how we might relate to it with more awareness, discernment, and self-compassion. PEARLS OF WISDOM • Hesitation around AI is often not a lack of intelligence or willingness — it is a reflection of how much we care about doing things well and doing them right. • Physicians are trained to anticipate risk and forecast danger. Sometimes we misapply that training to situations where curiosity would serve us better than caution. • AI is a tool. How we interact with it depends on slowing down, asking ourselves the right questions, and deciding how we want to show up. • The one thing AI does not have is a soul. Original, heart-centered, authentically human work will become more valuable, not less. • Everyone needs support learning this — even people who seem like they already understand it. There is no shame in asking for a guide. Reflection Questions What feelings come up for us when we think about AI — and how might we begin to shift from catastrophizing into discernment? Where are we resisting, rather than showing up with curiosity? How do we want to relate to AI in a way that is aligned with our values and protects our energy for what matters most? This is part one of a two-part series. In the next episode, Slade and I dive into the practical side — real use cases, real tools, and how communicating with AI is a lot like learning a new language. If you are a physician looking for support in navigating change — whether it is AI, career, identity, or how you want to show up in medicine and in life — I would love to connect with you. www.jessiemahoneymd.com www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.  

What if the unexpected is not an interruption, but an invitation? Have you noticed how quickly a small technical difficulty become a full-on nervous system event? Could it be that some of our frustration is less about what went wrong and more about the stories we tell about what it means? What if we could meet these moments — the glitches, the delays, the disappointments — with a little more awareness, grace, and compassion? Technical difficulties are part of modern life. The microphone breaks, the internet fails, the slide deck disappears. Things go sideways, and suddenly we find ourselves frustrated, urgent, and judging ourselves. This episode explores what happens inside us when things do not go as planned — and offers a gentler, more grounded way to respond. PEARLS OF WISDOM • Technical difficulties show us our patterns of reactivity and our patterns of responding to stress. They are invitations to notice, not just fix.  • When something unexpected goes wrong, our nervous system often responds before our thinking brain catches up. Pausing to notice the body, name the emotion, and observe the story can soften the moment.  • Letting something be imperfect is not the same as not caring. Sometimes choosing presence over perfection is actually caring more. • Impermanence applies to technology, too. A broken thing is not always just broken. It might be a marker of all that has been lived through it.  • We can choose acceptance where acceptance is needed, and action where action is possible. The wisdom is knowing the difference. Reflection Questions What kinds of unexpected disruptions tend to activate you the most quickly? What do you notice in rour body and thoughts when something goes wrong that you did not plan for? Where in your life are you spending energy trying to fix things that might need acceptance instead? Have you ever discovered tenderness, meaning, or beauty in something ordinary when it breaks? This episode offers a gentler lens for the next time something does not go according to plan - in medicine, in life, or on a Zoom call. If you are looking for a community that practices exactly this kind of presence, I would love to have you join me for free livestream yoga most weekends. These classes blend coaching, neuroscience, mindfulness, and an incredibly warm community of women who have been practicing together for six years. You can also join us for a retreat where we practice all of this in real life, in nature, together.   Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.

Coaching is a practical and effective form of support for physicians practicing amidst the chaos of modern medicine. It is a grounded way to help physicians practice with greater agency, steadiness, and self-respect. This episode explores: Why many struggles in medicine are not effort problems The role of nervous system regulation in sustainable change What physician coaching is, and what it is not Pearls of Wisdom Depleted and burnt out physicians are responding predictably to current conditions in medicine. Sustainable excellence requires skills that most physicians were not taught in training. Skepticism can be wise, but it can also keep us from receiving helpful and needed support. Effective change comes from noticing, regulating, and responding on purpose --not trying harder.   Reflection Questions What are you trying to solve with more effort that requires a different skill? Where is skepticism serving you wisely, and where might it be getting in your way? What might shift if you showed up more regulated, less activated, and more intentional in medicine and at home?   Ways to work with Jessie 1:1 Coaching: www.jessiemahoneymd.comCME Wellness Retreats: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Free Live-Stream Mindful Yoga: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga Jessie's Blog: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog Podcast Page: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast *Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.  

When we are depleted, reactive, and under pressure, even small decisions can feel surprisingly hard. Intention, physiology, and physiologic awareness make decision-making simpler, steadier, and less draining. This episode explores decision fatigue through the lens of physiology, neuroscience, mindset, and intention.  Decision-making in healthcare is an expensive process. Physician thought patterns make decisions more burdensome. Decision drain builds when choices are delayed, avoided, or made at too high a cost.  In this episode, we cover: How intention and physiologic awareness simplifies decisions The expensive decision-making process in healthcare and the burden of decision debt How focusing on what is in our control gives back our energy and agency Pearls of Wisdom: Physiologic depletion, chronic pressure, and conditioning are the problem Physician patterns make decisions more draining than they need to be. Intention and physiologic awareness make decision-making simpler and less energetically expensive. Reflection Questions: When does decision-making feel most draining for you? What is increasing the cost of choosing in your life right now? Which physician patterns make your decision-making more expensive than it needs to be? How might intention or physiologic awareness simplify one decision this week? What is within your control in about how you decide, communicate, or show up? What decisions are you postponing or avoiding? Ways to work with Jessie Mahoney MD Coaching: www.jessiemahoneymd.comCME Wellness Retreats: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Free Live-Stream Mindful Yoga: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga More Blog: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog Podcast page: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice. The Healing Medicine Podcast was formerly known as the Mindful Healers Podcast.

When we've been carrying a lot for a long time, "fine" can start to feel like the only option.  In this conversation, Jessie is joined by Dr. Jennifer Swaringen an orthopedic surgeon and yoga teacher. She has already been to Jessie's Nicasio Creek Farm retreat twice: once with a friend, and once on her own during an empty-nest transition.  We talk about:  what shifts when women physicians step into a small, safe community how coaching helps us see the stories we've been living inside why nervous-system care (movement, breath, stillness, sound) can create a steadiness that thinking alone sometimes can't reach. Connection isn't a luxury and being cared for is a practice. We explore: How resentment, catastrophizing, and "I'm only valuable when I'm producing" show up (and soften) Why coming to a retreat alone can actually deepen connection Coaching vs. yoga: insight work and nervous-system work (and why both matter) Staying connected after the retreat so it becomes real life Empty nest as a transition point and a valid time to ask for support Pearls of wisdom Noticing our default stories reduces their power. Coaching and yoga work differently, and together. Safe community expands what feels possible. Coming alone isn't a disadvantage. Allowing ourselves to be cared for is a real practice—especially for women physicians. Reflection questions Where are you telling an old story that keeps us stuck? What support would you allow if you no longer needed to earn it? Where are you craving connection—and what is one small follow-through? Ways to work with Jessie: Coaching: www.jessiemahoneymd.comCME Wellness Retreats: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Free Live-Stream Mindful Yoga: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga Blog: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog Podcast page: www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast Nothing shared in the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.  

What happens when physician spouses step away from the pace of medicine and make space to slow down together? In this episode, Drs. Angela Wong and Doug Conrad join us to explore how rest, reflection, and shared experience can help us reconnect with ourselves, our relationships, and the deeper reasons we practice medicine. They reflect on attending The Connect in Nature Mindfulness Retreat at Green Gulch Farm and Zen Center together as a physician couple and share what it was like to step away for a few days, reconnect with each other, and remember what matters most beyond the roles and demands of daily life in medicine. They talk about perfectionism, the hidden cost of constant productivity, and how slowing down can restore perspective, compassion, and connection.  In this episode, we discuss: How Drs. Angela Wong and Doug Conrad, physician spouses, experienced stepping away together as a physician couple How rest and reflection can deepen connection in relationships The hidden cost of constant productivity in medicine How perfectionism can shape both work and home life What it feels like to receive care rather than always provide it Why shared experiences outside medicine can strengthen physician relationships How mindful movement, rest, breath, and nourishment influence patient care Pearls of Wisdom Shared experiences outside the clinical environment can strengthen physician partnerships and help us see one another as people, not just colleagues in a busy life. Slowing down is not indulgent. It creates the space needed to reconnect with ourselves, our partners, and the deeper reasons we practice medicine. Perfectionism often masquerades as professionalism in medicine. Letting go of that inner judge can restore both well-being and relationships. The practices we experience personally—mindful movement, nourishment, rest, and breath—often become the most authentic tools we bring to patient care. Reflection Questions What might shift if you intentionally created time to slow down with a partner or loved one? Where in your life might you be moving so quickly that you have stopped noticing how you actually feel? How might releasing the need for perfection allow more compassion toward yourself and others? What small daily practice could help you reconnect with your breath, body, and sense of agency? Resources and ways to connect Website: https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/ Awaken Breath: https://awakenbreath.org/ Retreats: https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreats Yoga: https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/yoga Blog: https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/jessies-blog Podcast: https://www.jessiemahoneymd.com/mindful-healers-podcast If this conversation resonates, we would love to welcome you to a future retreat where we explore rest, mindfulness, and connection in community with other physicians. The next Connect in Nature Mindfulness Retreat is July 30–August 1, 2026. Nothing shared on the Healing Medicine Podcast is medical advice.

We're continuing an annual tradition on the Healing Medicine Podcast: a Lunar New Year conversation that uses the Chinese zodiac (and the five elements) as a framework for reflection and intention-setting.  Even if this isn't part of your culture or your belief system, exploring how a different cultural lens can help you see your patterns around transitions and help you endwell, pause to integrate, and begin well.  We're moving from the Year of the Wood Snake (2025)—slower, observant, inward, "shedding what no longer serves"—into the Year of the Fire Horse (2026)—movement, visibility, courage, momentum, and a louder, more activating energy.  This episode covers: Why Lunar New Year is also called Spring Festival (Chunjie) The 12 animals of the Chinese zodiac (and why there's no cat) The five elements and how they "flavor" a year (wood → fire) Wood Snake themes: introspection, boundaries, shedding, somatic signals Fire Horse themes: courage, action, visibility, warmth—and the need for wisdom Transition practices: ending well → pausing → beginning well A journal prompt: What are you leaving behind from the Wood Snake year? Invitation: Connect in Nature Retreat (Green Gulch + Muir Woods) Mentioned Invitations: Connect in Nature Mindfulness Retreat (Green Gulch + Muir Woods): www.jessiemahoneymd.com/retreat-connect-in-nature Nothing shared in this episode is medical advice or a substitute for your own medical care. This is educational content and personal reflection.