Why Lawyers Feel More Confused After Career Coaching

You worked with a career coach because you wanted to figure out what to do instead of practicing law. Maybe you took assessments, learned more about yourself, and even had a good experience with the coach. Now you're at the end of that process with more information about yourself, but even less of an idea of what you should actually do next.When you're super burned out and going to a toxic job every day, it's understandable to want someone to look at your resume and assessments and just give you an answer. The problem is that a job can make sense based on your skills and work history without being something you actually want to do. You might be able to convince someone to hire you for that role, but that doesn't mean it's a good fit, especially if it's close to the kind of work you're already trying to leave.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell talks about why lawyers sometimes feel more lost after working with a career coach. She explains what assessments can and can't tell you, and why figuring out what to do with that information is such an important part of the process. Sarah also shares what to look for in a career coach and why untangling your identity from being a lawyer can be just as important as figuring out your next career move.0:29 - Feeling more confused after working with a career coach1:38 - Relying too heavily on career assessments to find an answer3:20 - Why assessments don't tell you what to do next4:00 - Using informational interviews to narrow down career options5:09 - Getting support with translating assessment results into actual career options6:22 - Wanting a career coach to just tell you what job you should do7:26 - The difference between a job you can get and one you actually want10:24 - Developing the skills to figure out what feels like the right fit11:58 - Untangling your identity from being a lawyer13:53 - Using therapy to explore why your identity is so tied to your careerMentioned In Why Lawyers Feel More Confused After Career CoachingHow Multiple Assessments Help Lawyers Changing CareersFirst Steps to Leaving the Law

When you're thinking about leaving law, it's easy to convince yourself that you don't have any transferable skills. You've spent years learning how to be a lawyer, and so much of what you do every day feels specific to practicing law. It's hard to imagine how any of that experience would be useful in a job that has nothing to do with the legal profession.Something that lawyers often don't realize is that the skills they take for granted aren't necessarily things everyone else knows how to do. When you're surrounded by other lawyers, being able to hold yourself accountable and get things done doesn't seem particularly special. It's just what you do. Once you get outside the legal profession, though, those same skills can be things that set you apart.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell shares examples of former lawyers who have gone into sales, literary representation, data analysis, and marketing, and how they've used skills they developed practicing law in those roles. She talks about why lawyers tend to underestimate what they bring to other careers and why those skills can be useful in more jobs than you might expect.0:29 - Why lawyers think they don't have transferable skills1:51 - Skills that seem ordinary to lawyers can be selling points in other careers2:29 - Alex Su on accountability as a transferable skill lawyers overlook4:38 - How Lilly Ghahremani uses her legal training as a literary agent5:55 - Dan Branagan on using litigation skills in data analyst interviews7:16 - Ashley Carlisle on applying lawyers' ability to learn in marketing9:24 - Why your transferable skills aren't limited to legal-adjacent jobs10:17 - Finding a role where your existing skills are a better fitMentioned In The Transferable Skills Lawyers Overlook When Leaving LawHow Lawyers Can Rethink Their Skills for Business with Alex Su [TFLP314]From Law School to Literary Agent with Lilly Ghahremani [TFLP250]Escaping the Legal Grind to Build a Balanced Life with Dan Branagan [TFLP248]How to Shift Professionally From Lawyer to Chief Marketing Officer with Ashley Carlisle [TFLP218]First Steps to Leaving the Law

If you want to leave law but have no idea what you want to do next, it can feel like you need to figure out at least a few possible options before you are ready to get help. For a lot of unhappy lawyers, though, the problem is not choosing between several clear career paths. Everything outside of practicing law feels like a complete black box, and they do not even know how to start figuring out what might be a good fit. In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell explains why not knowing what you want to do next is actually one of the reasons you might work with her. She talks about how she helps lawyers go from having no idea what their options are to identifying possibilities that match their values, strengths, skills, and personality, and why you do not need to go figure out the basics on your own before that process can be useful.0:29 - Do you need to know what you want to do before working with Sarah1:17 - When everything outside of practicing law feels like a complete black box2:35 - You do not need to know what you want to do next before getting help3:20 - Why not knowing what you want is part of the reason to work with Sarah3:46 - Going from “I have no idea” to options that match your values, strengths, skills, and personalityMentioned In When You Want to Leave Law but Don’t Know What’s NextFirst Steps to Leaving the Law1:1 Coaching with Sarah Cottrell

Being laid off from a legal job can create a lot of anxiety, financial and otherwise. If you’ve been laid off, you’re worried that a layoff might be coming, or you’ve been through one in the past, there are very real practical concerns that come with losing your job. We all have bills, we all need to be responsible adults, and sometimes getting another job practicing law is the choice that makes sense.The question is whether you actually want another legal job or whether you’re looking for one because that feels like what you’re supposed to do next. If you felt an immense amount of relief when you were laid off, that feeling is information. You may not have realized how much pressure and stress your job was creating until suddenly that weight was lifted.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell talks about why being laid off can be a helpful catalyst for thinking about what you actually want to do next. She shares what she has seen with clients who didn’t recognize how unhappy they were until they were laid off, why another legal job can make sense as a bridge job, and why it’s worth listening if your reaction to losing your job was, “Thank goodness.”2:09 - Clients who didn’t realize how unhappy they were until they were laid off2:53 - Asking yourself whether you actually want another legal job3:18 - The practical reasons you might choose another job practicing law4:04 - Feeling relief after a layoff is information5:17 - Using another legal job as a bridge job instead of trying to prove something7:09 - Listening to what your reaction to being laid off is telling youMentioned In Do You Actually Want Another Legal Job After a Layoff?First Steps to Leaving the Law1:1 Coaching with Sarah Cottrell

Staying in a toxic law firm because you want to help change it can feel like a good reason to stay. You want to get to a position where you have more influence and can use that influence to make the environment better. The question is what staying long enough to get there is costing you along the way.The harder part is that toxic environments can change your sense of what is normal or acceptable. You can start out very clear about what feels wrong and, over time, become more comfortable with things you previously would not have accepted. If the goal is to eventually use your influence to create change, you also have to be realistic about the difference between playing the game to get there and becoming part of the machine.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell talks about the cost of staying in a toxic law firm because you want to change it from the inside. She explains why toxic environments can change your sense of what is and is not okay, why gaining influence can make it harder to use that influence the way you originally intended, and why it is important to keep reassessing what staying is doing to you.0:30 - Staying in a toxic law firm because you want to change it1:45 - Lawyers think about the cost of leaving, not the cost of staying2:15 - Staying to fix the environment can change you3:08 - Playing the game to make change versus becoming part of the machine4:21 - What happens when you finally have the influence you were waiting for5:23 - Your conscience can be formed by your environment6:18 - Being clear about who you are and what you are willing to do7:50 - When the effect staying is having on you is a reason to reassessMentioned In The Cost of Staying in a Toxic Law FirmFirst Steps to Leaving the Law1:1 Coaching with Sarah Cottrell

When leaving law feels like letting other people down, it can become much harder to take your own unhappiness seriously. For lawyers who are women, first-gen, people of color, or part of another historically underrepresented group, there can be a very real sense that being in these spaces is not just about them. Their achievement can start to feel tied to representing other people well and showing what is possible.The difficult part is that this sense of responsibility can mean having to get to a very bad place before being willing to prioritize yourself. Sarah sees lawyers whose experience at a law firm has been extremely detrimental to their mental, physical, emotional, and relational health, who still discount all of that and focus on the reasons they feel like they should stay. For people who are highly responsible, it can be very hard to value their own pain and suffering when they also feel responsible for what their leaving might mean for other people.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell talks about her own experience of feeling like leaving her law firm meant letting other women down and why she sees versions of that same dynamic with her clients. She talks about the sense that your existence and achievement in these spaces are not just about you, how that can keep people going even when the experience is doing real harm, and why your own well-being deserves to matter too.0:29 - The pressure to stay when leaving feels like letting other people down1:05 - Feeling responsible to advance for other women in Biglaw3:00 - When your existence in the space feels like it’s not just about you4:11 - Having to get to a very bad place before prioritizing yourself5:17 - Highly responsible lawyers struggling to value their own pain and suffering6:05 - You matter, your well-being matters, and you’re not letting people down7:25 - Being unselfish to the point of doing harm to yourself to help others8:16 - The permission slip to take care of yourselfMentioned In When Leaving Law Feels Like Letting Other People DownFirst Steps to Leaving the Law1:1 Coaching with Sarah Cottrell

Your law job may feel more unsustainable than it used to, even if you were managing it fairly well before. Maybe you already knew the environment was not great, or that the work itself was never especially sustainable, but you were making it work. Now, all of a sudden, it feels completely impossible and you are wondering what changed.For a lot of lawyers, the instinct is to turn that question inward. Is it because you are weak? Is it because you cannot hack it anymore? Sarah talks about why being impacted by what is happening around you does not mean there is something wrong with you. If your nervous system is constantly being primed for threats and hypervigilance has become the baseline, it makes sense that you do not have the same capacity you had before.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell talks about why your law job may feel more unsustainable than it used to and what may actually be behind that shift. She explains how the broader environment can affect your nervous system, why lawyers in particular may be feeling that impact, and why listening to what your body and your nervous system are telling you can help you figure out what the best next step is for you career-wise.0:53 - When a law job that felt manageable starts to feel unsustainable1:44 - Why lawyers may be especially affected by what is happening around them2:29 - Feeling like you can’t keep doing this doesn’t mean you’re weak4:12 - What your nervous system may be recognizing about your work environment6:00 - Hypervigilance as a baseline and how it affects your capacity7:10 - What to do when your work suddenly feels unsustainable8:31 - Listening to your body and nervous system as you consider what comes nextMentioned In Why Your Law Job Feels More Unsustainable Than It Used ToFirst Steps to Leaving the Law

“There’s a reason they call it a job.” “If it was fun, everyone would do it.” “The grass isn’t always greener.” Lawyers who hate their jobs hear some version of this all the time from people outside of the legal profession, usually when they are trying to explain just how miserable their work has become.There is a kernel of truth in the idea that every job involves some amount of work, frustration, and things you would rather not do. The problem is that every job does not suck in the way that being a lawyer can suck. For lawyers who have tied suffering to working hard or doing a good job, that distinction can be especially hard to see.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell talks about why “every job sucks” is bad advice for lawyers who hate their jobs, what can make legal work uniquely unpleasant, and why believing that suffering is simply part of having a job can make it harder to imagine something better.0:30 - Hearing “there’s a reason they call it a job” from people outside the law2:01 - The kinds of misery that can make legal work uniquely unpleasant3:02 - Why every job does not suck in the way being a lawyer can4:42 - When lawyers start believing work is supposed to involve suffering5:49 - Questioning whether worthwhile work can exist without mental and emotional suffering6:25 - Using therapy to unpack the belief that suffering is part of working hard7:46 - You do not have to suffer in your job8:23 - Exploring what might be a better fit despite what other people sayMentioned In Why “Every Job Sucks” Is Bad Advice for Lawyers Who Hate Their JobsFirst Steps to Leaving the Law

When you start thinking about leaving the law, it is really common to realize that some of what you are trying to figure out is about your career and some of it goes much deeper than that. You may need help understanding what kind of work would actually be a good fit for you while also untangling why quitting feels so unsafe or why disappointing other people feels almost impossible.That is part of why therapy and career coaching can work so well together. They might both help you get to the same place, but they are not doing the same work, and one is not a substitute for the other. What comes up in coaching can be useful to take into therapy, and the insight you get in therapy can make it much easier to see what you actually want career-wise.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell talks about the difference between therapy and career coaching, why she strongly recommends therapy if someone only has the bandwidth for one, and how the two can support each other as you work through what comes next.0:29 - Coaching versus therapy when you’re trying to figure out what comes next2:06 - Why Sarah recommends therapy when you only have bandwidth for one2:51 - Therapy and career coaching are not substitutes for each other4:10 - How therapy and career coaching can work together5:13 - Using therapy to understand what shapes your ideas about work and career7:49 - Why quitting can feel unsafe and other people’s disapproval can feel intolerable8:23 - Learning to tolerate disappointing people without assuming you’ve done something wrongMentioned In Do You Need Therapy or Career Coaching When You Want to Leave LawFirst Steps to Leaving the Law

You can know that you do not want to keep practicing law and still have no idea what you want to do. You may not even know what you could do. A lot of lawyers assume they need to have some sense of the answer before they can start when the process is actually designed for people who are in exactly your position.Part of what makes figuring out what comes next so uncomfortable is that there is no assessment that gives you one answer. You have to get a clearer picture of who you are, pay attention to what you are genuinely interested in, and gather information about what different jobs are actually like. As you learn more, you refine what you are looking for, which can feel confusing when you are used to having a clear path to follow.In this episode of The Former Lawyer Podcast, Sarah Cottrell walks through the Former Lawyer Framework and explains how she helps lawyers figure out what they want to do instead of practicing law. She talks about why the process starts well before resumes and LinkedIn, what makes the exploration stage so confusing, and how getting more information can help you identify work that is actually a better fit.0:27 - The Former Lawyer Framework for figuring out what to do when you do not want to practice law1:17 - Looking back at what brought you to law in the first place2:46 - Getting a clearer picture of who you are and what makes a job a good fit4:27 - Why assessments do not give you one answer about what to do next5:16 - Letting genuine interest guide which career options you explore8:55 - Refining your options when the process does not follow a clear path10:30 - Why resumes and LinkedIn come at the end of the process11:38 - Knowing you dislike your current job is enough to get started12:39 - Final enrollment details for the Former Lawyer CollaborativeMentioned In How to Figure Out What You Want to Do Instead of Practicing LawThe Former Lawyer CollaborativeFirst Steps to Leaving the Law