How to Heal Anxious & Avoidant Attachment (Nervous System Explained) | Jessica Baum

In this interview, psychotherapist Jessica Baum returns to discuss her second book, "Safe," which expands beyond her first book "Anxiously Attached" to cover all attachment styles through a "Wheel of Attachment," embedded attachment wounds, and the neuroscience of healing. She explains how attachment patterns shape nervous system responses during conflict. Anxious tendencies can include people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, and escalation, while avoidant tendencies can include withdrawal and shutdown. She also discusses how early caregiver attunement, rupture and repair, and emotional presence influence a child's felt sense of safety. Baum describes "earned security" as possible at any age through neuroplasticity and "anchoring relationships" that provide consistent, warm co-regulation and disconfirming experiences. She notes that people often gravitate toward familiar chaos. She also addresses navigating relationships when only one partner commits to the work and shares practical starting points like mapping core wounds and seeking safe, supportive connections.Connect with our guest Jessica Baum! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc/ Order “Safe” Today: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe Connect with Eli and The Dude Therapist!Book “From I Do To We Do”: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book - Order Today!Eli’s Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/Podcast Instagram: @TheDudeTherapist: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist/  This show is Hosted and Produced by Eli Weinstein and Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/) with Executive Producer Matthew “MoJo” Jones and Associate Producer & Editor Xavier Adetula. For Sales and Sponsorship opportunities reach out to Shane Thornton at [email protected] CHAPTERS00:00 Conflict and Attachment00:47 Meet Jessica Baum01:58 Why Safe Matters04:20 Vulnerability and Healing08:07 Attachment Goes Mainstream12:21 Childhood Wiring Explained15:07 What Safety Means20:02 Earned Secure Attachment22:35 Choosing Safe People26:20 When Partners Diverge31:03 Practical Takeaways32:51 Where to Find Jessica33:41 Closing Thanks

On this episode of Dude Therapist, host Eli sits down with certified dating coach and relationship strategist Damona Hoffman, the official love expert for The Drew Barrymore Show and Access Hollywood, to break down the biggest shifts in dating over the past 20 years. From the rise of texting replacing face-to-face connection to the myths of “instant chemistry,” Damona reveals why modern love often feels confusing, and how to navigate it successfully.Learn the relationship truths no one talks about: the fairytale myth of effortless love, the pressure of the relationship escalator, and the paradox of choice. Damona shares her proven framework for finding lasting love: three must-haves, one deal breaker, and four pillars of compatibility: shared values, shared goals, communication & conflict resolution, and trust & respect.Discover why partners can’t fill every need, the importance of community, and how curiosity beats instant sparks when building a mindful, fulfilling partnership. If you’re tired of dating drama and want practical strategies for love that lasts, this episode is for you.Watch or Listen now and transform the way you approach modern relationships!Connect with Damona!Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/damonahoffman/ Damona’s Book: F the Fairy Tale Book by Damona Hoffman https://a.co/d/08SD7f6M Damona’s Podcast: https://damonahoffman.com/dates-and-mates-podcast/ Connect with Eli and The Dude Therapist!Book “From I Do To We Do”: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book - Order Today!Eli’s Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/Podcast Instagram: @TheDudeTherapist: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist/  This show is Hosted and Produced by Eli Weinstein and Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/) with Executive Producer Matthew “MoJo” Jones and Associate Producer & Editor Xavier Adetula. For Sales and Sponsorship opportunities reach out to Shane Thornton at [email protected] Chapters00:00 Dating With Intention03:48 How Dating Changed07:13 The Love Fairytale Myth10:33 Maximizers Vs Satisficers11:54 Three Must Haves13:52 Intentional Dating Basics15:37 Matchmaking List Story18:23 Friends And Intuition21:07 Chemistry Grows Over Time23:43 Sameness Vs Support26:58 Hobbies Are Not Values28:12 Keep Your Community29:31 Cup Filling Myth32:05 Slow Love Escalator33:24 Green Flags Mindset34:24 Chemistry Versus Curiosity37:54 First Date Strategy41:14 Soulmate Fairytale Trap48:15 Fame Dating Reality53:46 Hope With Roadmap

In this thoughtful and wide-ranging episode of The Dude Therapist Podcast, Mayim Bialik reflects on a life lived at the intersection of intellect, faith, fame, and mental health.You may know Mayim as the young star of Beaches or the beloved lead of Blossom, and later as neuroscientist Amy Farrah Fowler on The Big Bang Theory. But this conversation goes far beyond the screen. Mayim opens up about stepping away from Hollywood to earn her neuroscience degree at UCLA, becoming a mother, returning to television with Call Me Kat, hosting Jeopardy!, and ultimately launching her own mental health platform and podcast.With candor and clarity, Mayim explores how her Jewish identity—rooted in ritual, routine, community, tikkun olam, and a “God of my understanding”—has evolved over time. She speaks vulnerably about navigating October 7th, rising antisemitism, social media hostility, and the pressure to speak (or stay silent) in a polarized industry. She shares what it means to hold boundaries as an observant Jew in Hollywood—from modesty to holiday accommodations in contracts—while still leading with compassion and repair.In this episode, we explore:Growing up in the spotlight and redefining success beyond fameReturning to science and the power of intellectual identityJewish values, ritual, and faith in moments of global crisisSetting boundaries in Hollywood and advocating for respectDemocratizing mental health language and reducing stigmaTherapy modalities including EMDR and somatic approachesSkepticism around pharmaceutical advertising and access to careParenting through attachment and RIE principlesApologizing to your children and modeling accountabilityLimiting social media and remembering: you are not your thoughts or feelingsThis episode is essential listening for anyone navigating identity, faith, parenthood, mental health, or life transitions under public scrutiny. Grounded, reflective, and deeply human—this is a conversation about integrating every version of yourself and choosing integrity over approval.Connect with Mayim Bialik!Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/missmayim/ Links: https://linktr.ee/Mayimbialik Connect with Eli and The Dude Therapist!Book “From I Do To We Do”: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book - Order Today!Eli’s Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/Podcast Instagram: @TheDudeTherapist: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist/  This show is Hosted and Produced by Eli Weinstein and Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/) with Executive Producer Matthew “MoJo” Jones and Associate Producer & Editor Xavier Adetula. For Sales and Sponsorship opportunities reach out to Shane Thornton at [email protected] 00:00 Introduction 00:38 Mayim Life Arc03:11 Jewish Identity Values09:21 Faith Therapy Selfhood10:44 Hollywood Boundaries15:53 Post Oct 7 Antisemitism20:32 Podcast Mental Health Shift21:40 Science Meets Mysticism24:24 Faith And Neuroscience27:43 Stigma And Pharma Ads31:26 Beyond the Pill Model31:54 CBT and Access to Care32:42 Insurance and Elitism33:54 Parenting Feels Wrong36:31 Attachment and RIE Tools39:12 Discipline Without Violence40:31 Repair and Apologizing43:04 Balancing Roles and Rest44:32 Social Media and Presence48:47 Mind Blowing Podcast Guests52:00 Stay Open Minded53:31 You Are Not Your Thoughts

In this deeply vulnerable and transformative episode of The Dude Therapist Podcast, Alyson Stoner shares the truth behind child stardom, identity, trauma, and reclaiming your voice.You may know Alyson from the iconic Work It video with Missy Elliott, or films like Camp Rock, Cheaper by the Dozen, and Step Up, but this conversation reveals the person behind the performances.Alyson opens up about working 80-hour weeks as a child actor, the psychological cost of constantly performing, and the moment they realized their own story had never truly been told in their own voice. They share the arduous yet liberating process of writing their New York Times bestselling memoir and what it cost, and freed them to speak openly about identity, queerness, and industry pressures.In this episode, we explore:The hidden realities of child stardom and gaps in child labor protectionsThe “Three Chairs” framework (authentic self vs. performing self vs. brand)A healthier way to process rejection (Next 2.0)Trauma tools like the “Sticky Meter”Mental health coordination on sets and protecting young performersHow to build trust, create emotional boundaries, and reclaim your voiceThis episode is essential listening for anyone interested in mental health, trauma recovery, LGBTQ+ identity, the entertainment industry, and personal transformation.Raw, honest, and empowering - this is a conversation about choosing authenticity over approval.“I’d rather be rejected while I’m accepting myself than be accepted while I’m rejecting myself.” - Alyson StonerConnect with Alyson!Instagram: @AlysonStoner: https://www.instagram.com/alysonstoner/ Book HERE: https://static.macmillan.com/static/smp/semi-well-adjusted-9781250353498/ Alyson’s BioAlyson Stoner (they/them) is an entertainer, author, and founder/CEO of Movement Genius, a mental health company focused on sustainable wellbeing. They host the award-winning Dear Hollywood podcast, advocating for stronger protections for children in entertainment and digital media.A former child star with over 200 credits, Alyson appeared in Camp Rock, Step Up, Cheaper by the Dozen, Phineas and Ferb, and music videos with Missy Elliott and Eminem.Their debut memoir, Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything (Aug 12, 2025), explores identity, trauma, and redefining what it means to be truly well.Connect with Eli and The Dude Therapist!Book “From I Do To We Do”: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book Eli’s Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/Podcast Instagram: @TheDudeTherapist: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist/  This show is Hosted and Produced by Eli Weinstein and Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/) with Executive Producer Matthew “MoJo” Jones and Associate Producer & Editor Xavier Adetula. For Sales and Sponsorship opportunities reach out to Shane Thornton at [email protected] Chapters:0:00 Introduction & Welcome1:26 Alyson's Journey: From Ohio to Hollywood3:03 Reclaiming Your Own Story & Voice6:07 Authenticity Through Different Life Seasons11:50 The Grocery Store Moment: Performing On Command16:30 The Three Chairs Exercise: Authentic Self vs Brand19:40 Next 2.0: Better Tools for Handling Rejection24:18 Why This Should Be the Last Memoir of Its Kind30:15 Mental Health Coordinators on Sets33:08 The Cost and Reward of Honesty38:01 Breaking Your Silence: Small Steps Forward42:36 Creating Containers: Managing Emotional Transitions52:20 The Body Keeps the Score: Processing Performance Trauma56:00 Building Trust After Betrayal60:52 Redefining Strength & Power Today

After five years of transformative conversations, host Eli Weinstein returns with the show that's been changing lives through honest, raw discussions about mental health, relationships, and personal growth.This isn't your typical therapy podcast. The Dude Therapist brings you unfiltered conversations with the biggest names in health and wellness. We have had Dr. John Delony, Dr. Nicole LePera to Mayim Bialik, Mark Groves, Alyson Stoner, Sabrina Zohar and many more. You can find these videos re-released on video and new episodes from a powerful line up of guests!In this New Season this show will coverDeep dives into relationships and parentingReal talk about mental health challengesPractical tools for personal transformationGuest experts sharing breakthrough insights on habit change, subconscious patterns, and relationship masteryIt’s a New Season. New Format. Same Authentic Conversations.🎥 NOW ON VIDEO - Subscribe and follow:Apple PodcastsSpotifyYouTube: @TheDudeTherapistLaunching February 2026

In this episode of The Dude Therapist, I sit down with Sarah Michelle Boes, a family nurse practitioner, mother, and advocate, who opens up about her powerful journey of navigating OCD and parenting a child with congenital heart defects.Sarah shares how her professional background as a healthcare provider shifted when she became the parent of a child with complex health needs, and how her own mental health journey reshaped her perspective. From the importance of accurate diagnosis and externalizing OCD, to the emotional duality of joy and grief in parenting, Sarah’s story is one of resilience, honesty, and advocacy.We dive into:The challenges of parenting through uncertainty and the vital role of teamwork in relationshipsWhy parents are the true experts in their child’s health journeyThe importance of raising awareness and funding for heart defectsStrategies for managing OCD while showing up as a parentHow effective communication can strengthen relationships during the hardest timesIf you’ve ever struggled to balance your own mental health while parenting—or felt the tension between love, fear, and advocacy—this episode will leave you feeling seen and supported.👉 Don’t miss this candid, heartfelt conversation that reminds us of the power of love, teamwork, and speaking up.🌐 Connect with Sarah Michelle Boes🔗 Website: sarahmichelleboes.com📸 Instagram: @sarahmichellenp🎙️ Podcast: Real Deal Nurse Practitioner Club💼 LinkedIn: Sarah Michelle Boes🌌 Community: Cosmic Group Chat

In this episode of The Dude Therapist, I sit down with Melissa Osorio—author, transformational speaker, and advocate for psychedelic-assisted healing.Melissa opens up about her raw and powerful journey from childhood trauma and hidden memories to self-discovery, empowerment, and purpose. We talk about how psychedelics, curiosity, and self-awareness can serve as powerful tools in reclaiming your life.If you’ve ever wondered how trauma shapes us, how alternative medicines can play a role in healing, and what it truly means to embrace your full self—this conversation is for you.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Melissa’s story of resilience, survival, and self-discovery.How psychedelics can support healing and integration.Why trauma impacts more than just memory—it shapes how we live and love.The power of curiosity and awareness in personal transformation.About Melissa Osorio:Melissa is the author of Hidden Memories: Discover What’s Blocking You From Life and Love. She teaches courses on psychedelic preparation and integration and is an integration teacher at a center in Costa Rica. With raw honesty and depth, Melissa uses her story to help others unlock their full potential and live with authenticity.✨ And if you’re looking for more tools to strengthen your relationship while navigating the chaos of parenting, my new book From I Do to We Do: Navigating Relationships Through Parenting Years is now available for preorder. This book is packed with real stories, therapist insights, and no-fluff strategies to help couples stay connected.👉 Preorder here: https://a.co/d/87Y5Evc

In this powerful and practical episode of The Dude Therapist, Eli Weinstein sits down with licensed clinical psychologist, keynote speaker, and burnout expert Dr. Jessica B. Stern to unpack the toxic traps of hustle culture—and how to escape them.Together, they explore what it really means to be “productive” in a way that aligns with your personal values, mental health, and life goals. Dr. Stern shares her insights on non-toxic productivity, the power of saying no, and how to work smarter without losing yourself in the process.Whether you're an overwhelmed parent, an ambitious professional, or just someone tired of feeling behind, this episode offers actionable tools and mindset shifts to help you find balance and thrive.Non-Toxic Productivity: Why hustle culture is harmful—and what to do insteadValues-Based Living: How aligning your work with personal values reduces burnoutThe Power of Saying No: Setting boundaries to prioritize what truly mattersMental Fitness Tips: Real-life strategies to reset your mindset and productivity habitsReframing Success: How to measure achievement beyond output and accoladesDr. Jessica Stern is a licensed clinical psychologist, keynote speaker, and founder of Three Lemons LLC, a wellness and corporate consulting firm. She’s a clinical assistant professor at NYU Langone Health, radio host on SiriusXM, and advisor for Wondermind, the mental fitness company co-founded by Selena Gomez.With over a decade of experience, Dr. Stern is known for making complex mental health concepts relatable, accessible, and actionable. She's passionate about helping people ditch burnout, boost well-being, and live with greater clarity and purpose.Website: drjessicabstern.comInstagram: @drjessicabsternProductivity Course: Mayhem to Magic🎧 Tune in now to break free from the burnout cycle and start living in alignment—without the pressure to hustle harder.#mentalhealth #burnout #productivity #boundaries #valuesbasedliving #wellness #thedudetherapist #drjessicastern #nonhustleculture🔑 Key Takeaways:👤 About Dr. Jessica B. Stern:🔗 Connect with Dr. Jessica Stern:

🎙️ Why We Crave Control—and How to Let Go with Kati Morton, LMFTWhy do we cling to control even when it keeps us stuck?In this powerful episode of The Dude Therapist, licensed marriage and family therapist and bestselling author Kati Morton joins me to break down the psychology of control, the root of self-sabotaging habits, and how we can start unlearning patterns that no longer serve us.Kati opens up about her own mental health journey, including her recovery from an eating disorder and what inspired her to become a therapist. We explore how control shows up in our lives—especially during times of anxiety, trauma, or uncertainty—and how letting go can actually be the first step toward healing.This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling with perfectionism, disordered eating, emotional overwhelm, or a constant need to "keep it together."How control becomes a coping mechanism—and a barrier to growthKati Morton’s personal story of healing and becoming a mental health advocateThe link between eating disorders, anxiety, and controlSigns you're stuck in unhelpful patterns (and how to break them)Why vulnerability is a powerful tool for personal transformationPractical mental health strategies for creating change and building emotional resilienceKati Morton, LMFT, is a leading voice in mental health education. With millions of followers across YouTube and Instagram, she’s known for making mental health conversations accessible, relatable, and empowering. Kati has been featured on The TODAY Show, Dr. Phil, Call Her Daddy, CBS The Doctors, and more.🔗 Follow Kati on Instagram: @katimorton🌐 Website: www.katimorton.comAre u ok?: A Guide to Caring for Your Mental HealthTraumatized: Identify, Understand, and Cope with PTSD and Emotional StressWhy Do I Keep Doing This?: Unlearn the Habits Keeping You Stuck and Unhappy (Coming soon!)If you’re looking for real tools to understand your mental health, improve your relationship with control, and finally feel unstuck—this episode is your starting point.🎧 Tune in now on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.🔑 What You’ll Learn:📘 About Kati Morton📚 Kati Morton’s Books:

Episode Summary:In this eye-opening episode of The Dude Therapist, Eli Weinstein sits down with clinical child psychologist and trauma expert Dr. Robyn Koslowitz to explore the powerful concept of Post-Traumatic Parenting. As the founder of the Post-Traumatic Parenting model and author of the acclaimed book Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle, Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be, Dr. Koslowitz shares how unresolved childhood trauma affects parenting—and how healing is possible, not just for you, but for your entire family.With warmth, wisdom, and clarity, Dr. Koslowitz breaks down how your “trauma app”—the invisible programming left over from your own childhood—can shape your reactions, parenting style, and relationships. She offers actionable strategies for identifying these patterns, shifting your responses, and building deeper, more secure connections with your kids and partner.Whether you're a new parent, navigating your own healing, or trying to break generational cycles, this episode will leave you feeling seen, supported, and empowered.👓 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:What “Post-Traumatic Parenting” really meansHow your inner child can affect your ability to parent effectivelyThe neuroscience of trauma and how to update your “trauma app”Why children are mirrors, not triggersTools for breaking inherited emotional patternsHow to co-parent with awareness and compassionThe difference between reacting from wounds and responding from healing🧠 About Dr. Robyn Koslowitz:Dr. Robyn Koslowitz is a clinical child psychologist and trauma treatment expert who has helped thousands of parents break free from inherited trauma and become the emotionally attuned caregivers their children—and their inner child—need. She is the creator of the Post-Traumatic Parenting framework and the host of the Post-Traumatic Parenting Podcast.Her message is simple but profound:👉 Your inner child can’t raise a child. But raising your child can help heal your inner child.📚 Resources & Links:🔗 Book: Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle, Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be🌐 Website: posttraumaticparenting.com🎧 Podcast: Post-Traumatic Parenting Podcast📲 Social Media:Instagram: @dr.koslowitzpsychologyThreads: @dr.koslowitzpsychologyYouTube: @PostTraumaticParentingLinkedIn: Dr. Robyn Koslowitz