Episode 197: Supporting sleep from infancy to the teen years with Belynda Smith

As this very long sleep series draws to a close, in this episode, I share some quick sleep suggestions for parents of a baby, toddler, child, or teen. Babies, children, and teens need to be both tired and relaxed to sleep restfully. Relaxation is created in two ways: ~ through a sense of safety (which is met by having closeness, especially in the early years), ~ and by releasing any pent-up painful feelings that naturally bubble to the surface to be expressed when they are tired. If children don't feel safe, they won't feel relaxed, and will need to dissociate to go to sleep. If children have accumulated painful feelings bubbling to the surface that aren't released, they won't feel relaxed, and will need to dissociate to go to sleep. If they dissociate to fall asleep, the sleep is not likely to be restful. I'm so excited to tell you that the third book in my trilogy of Aware Parenting books – Sound Sleep and Secure Attachment with Aware Parenting – is out, and it's already a bestseller in both paperback and Kindle editions! The audiobook will be coming out next year! Here are the links: AU: https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/0645998583 US: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0645998583 UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0645998583 DE: https://www.amazon.de/dp/0645998583 FR: https://www.amazon.fr/dp/0645998583 ES: https://www.amazon.es/dp/0645998583 IT: https://www.amazon.it/dp/0645998583 NL: https://www.amazon.nl/dp/0645998583 PL: https://www.amazon.pl/dp/0645998583 SE: https://www.amazon.se/dp/0645998583 JP: https://www.amazon.co.jp/dp/0645998583 CA: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0645998583 You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

Woohooo! It's the 200th episode! Thank you to everyone who has listened to this podcast, whether this is the first time you've listened, or the 200th! I'm celebrating with Belynda Smith, who is not only the Editor of my trilogy of books, but also an Aware Parenting instructor and Hand in Hand Instructor. We chat together about all different aspects of the book. I loved this conversation so much! The book will be coming out this month, and more news about it will be coming soon! You can find out about Belynda's work, including her monthly online listening circle and 1:1 Aware Parenting support at https://belyndasmith.com.au/ and you can email her at: [email protected] You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

I'm so delighted that Carly Facius has returned to the podcast for the 4th time. She was also on episodes 149, 154, and 159. Carly is a mother of three, Registered Midwife, International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, holds a Master of Primary Maternity Care, and is an Aware Parenting instructor. Carly starts off by sharing her own journey with sleep with her first baby, and how surprised she was that after being so connected with her intuition and trusting her body and baby for the pregnancy and birth and for the first four months, that for a week, she started following the concept of sleep windows. Living in Indonesia, with an Indonesian husband, all around her she saw something very different to the practices she'd read about online of helping babies sleep according to the clock. She really didn't enjoy that week. The intensity of the focus on sleep took her away from being present with her baby, and led her to think that there was something wrong with what she was doing, and that there was something wrong with her baby. After that week, she shifted her practice entirely, and felt so much more relaxed. She saw babies and children sleeping everywhere and anywhere in Indonesia and it made so much sense that the routine she'd created in that week wasn't helpful at all. We talk about co-sleeping, and 'bedtimes', and how common it is in a very high percentage of the world's population for babies and children to co-sleep and for there not to be early bedtimes. We also talk about how Aware Parenting makes it possible for everyone in the family to share a bed together, and to all sleep restfully, without the baby or child moving around restlessly, or needing to be in a particular position, eg. under a parent's arm or on top of the parent. She talks about what a difference it made for her when she shifted from Classical Attachment Parenting to Aware Parenting when her son was 18 months old, including her partner being able to support their son to go to sleep. Carly shares about her experience of listening to her third child's feelings since birth has made, especially on his sleep, including while consistently travelling. He slept peacefully, even with noise around, which was very different to tiptoeing away when her first baby was sleeping. She also enjoyed the freedom of her partner being able to support their baby to go to sleep right from early on. Carly also talks about her own experience of working with parents from all around the world and from a wide variety of parenting beliefs and practices, including from families who had been to sleep consultants prior, and how she supported to find ways that resonated with them in relation to sleep. We talk about the importance of parents listening in to their own yeses and noes in terms of what resonates with them about sleep theories and practices. Carly shares about the loveliness of knowing that with Aware Parenting, whatever we've done in the past, we can help our babies heal, and we can also heal from past experiences. She shares how her perspective on bedtimes has completely changed, and how she invites parents to focus on their own sleep. She says, "everyone's rested in my family." You can find out about Carly's 1:1 work, her circles, and other offerings, at: https://www.instagram.com/seed_pod_/ ~~~ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

Episode 198: The power of play before sleep with Vivian Viester by Marion Rose, PhD.

I'm so delighted that Belynda Smith is back on the podcast, after she interviewed me about The Emotional Life of Babies in episode 151. Belynda is an Aware Parenting instructor and a Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor. She is also the Editor of my trilogy of books. In this episode, Belynda shares about her passion for – and deep experience with – the vital importance of receiving lots of listening if we are wanting to listen to our children's feelings. Belynda shares about the details of Listening Partnerships, which is a term from Hand in Hand Parenting and which offers specific parameters to create deeper safety and healing. Belynda shares about her experience of coming to Hand in Hand Parenting when her children were in early childhood, after experiencing both frequent night waking (every 40 minutes) and, once her second child was born, her own unexpressed feelings starting to bubble up. She shares the breakthrough experiences she had when she first came across Hand in Hand Parenting, and when she had her first session with a Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor and Trainer, Ann Hefferan, which inspired her to go on and become a Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor herself. Belynda shares about the next part of her journey, and discovering Aware Parenting. She also talks about the process of having lots of LP support when editing the books. She shares about her experience of Aware Parenting and sleep and her teens, and the subtle difference between Hand in Hand Parenting and Aware Parenting with sleep. We also discuss what we experience is the vital foundation in parenting. Belynda has a new free offering on play coming up. She also has a monthly online listening circle and offers 1:1 Aware Parenting support. You can find out more about her and her work at https://belyndasmith.com.au/ and https://belynda-smith.newzenler.com/aware-parenting

I'm so delighted that Kim Cousins came back on the podcast again. Kim was on episode 136 and 176 and I so highly recommend listening to those episodes if you haven't already. Kim is an Aware Parenting instructor who used to work in a perinatal mental health unit and has an abundance of experience of working with mothers and babies and families in general. In this episode, she also shares her own experience with sleep as a mother, with experience of being taught sleep training, then moving to Classical Attachment Parenting, and then to Aware Parenting. We'd love to send so much compassion if you are feeling exhausted and desperate for sleep, and if you have used sleep training. Throughout the episode, we highlight the importance of deep compassion for parents. Please check in with your willingness to listen to this episode, and reach out for listening support if it helps you connect with painful feelings. The focus on this episode is knowing that there really is a third choice, and that parents really don't need to choose between secure attachment and sleep. Kim shares about how when her daughter (who is now 8), was a baby, she slept very little in the day, and Kim had someone visit from a sleep centre to teach some sleep training. Kim shares about how painful the experience was, and how she didn't want to do it afterwards, and thought that she was a failure and that her daughter wasn't sleeping because she was not reading tiredness signs accurately or missing sleep windows. Kim shares about all the pressure and the lack of support that led to a diagnosis of postnatal depression and anxiety. Kim dived into understanding attachment theory, and when her son was born, she practiced Classical Attachment Parenting with him. When he was 12 months old, he was waking lots at night and she decided to do my sleep course. She listened to him crying in her arms for about 45 minutes to an hour and he slept through the whole night! Kim shares moving stories about supporting mothers to listen to their babies crying in arms, and what a difference it makes to receive that kind of support. Kim also talks about the importance of support, our own inner work, and lots more fascinating parts of listening to feelings and the relationship of that with sleep. You can find out more about Kim and her work at: https://www.instagram.com/kimberley.cousins/ You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I share the first chapter in my upcoming sleep book: Sound Sleep and Secure Attachment with Aware Parenting: Transform sleep for your baby, child or teen with this compassionate, trauma-informed approach to deep relaxation. There is still some more editing to go, but I don't imagine anything huge will change! I'm so loving this book, that I wanted to share this first chapter with you to give you a little taste of it. If you'd like the opportunity to hear me share more from it, or to be a beta reader, doors to my sleep book collective and workshop are open! Here are more details: If you'd like to really deeply understand sleep from an Aware Parenting perspective, and also ask unlimited questions in a FB group about your own family's sleep situation, plus hear excerpts from my upcoming book on sleep and Aware Parenting, become a beta reader (if you want), and join a 6 hour workshop in two parts (recording available afterwards), I have limited places for my sleep book collective and workshop. You can find out more here: https://marionrose.samcart.com/products/sound-sleep-and-secure-attachment-with-aware-parenting-book-collective-and-workshop/ Big love xoxo

In this episode, I talk about the differences Highly Sensitive Children can experience with sleep. You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I talk about the power of laughter to help us release fear from our bodies as parents. In it, I include a two minute segment of me laughing, in case that helps you laugh too! You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD

In this episode, I share about how it's possible to heal a rupture with our child, even if that happened many years ago. You can find out more about my work at www.marionrose.net You can also find me here: https://www.instagram.com/theawareparentingpodcast/ https://www.instagram.com/_marion_rose_/ https://www.instagram.com/awareparenting/ www.facebook.com/MarionRosePhD