Prima Materia of the Muse ☀️🩷☀️

Dear Ones, I just spent three days with 125 women virtually and 25 women in Sonoma. Sharing my heart, the teachings of the muse, and the integration of the critic. This is where my painting is at and where the poem emerged this morning. Dedicated to color of women 2025!!! I love co-leading with two of my best friends, Lavender and Amber. Powerful women that light up my heart.🩷🩷🩷Shiloh Sophia P.S. check Musea.org to paint with usThere is a MUSE of Magics class coming up….The Muse of Prima MateriaThe MuseShe rises up from underground riversShe shimmies down from stardust dreamsWild horses ride the roads of her hairBirds of every color perch on her branchesIn her pocket, a silvery lizard rides shotgunOn her cowgirl hat, a tiny gold spider spins talesShe winks at me, I blush in dozens of rosesBecause my Muse is beautiful and funny andWe like each otherThe MuseShe constellates from my ancient root systemRemembering red ochre markings on cave wallsShe comes to me from the portals of every houseI have ever lived in, and reminds me, I have choiceI have voice… I have choice… I have voice….My Muse mantra releases hidden butterfliesToday, in her leopard print sunglassesIn her glittering magenta lipgloss kissShe is impossibly bossy, and I like it, Swack!The MuseShe says to me: Girl, it’s time to sing it!Sing what? I ask. Yes, she replies, Yes!Her cryptic responses vibrate everywhereEvery sensual opening humming with lifeHoney Bees fly around my head, their hummingLights sweet sparks of ancient creative fireI know what she meansThe sacred language of all women:Mother Tongue, Yes it’s Mother Tongue timeThe MuseThe prima materia of the Muse is:Truth so sharp it bears a double-edge bladeThe original substance of creation, is me-in-matterMy stardust bones, my lightening mind fires & wiresShe says to me: You are the universe, universingas You, act like it, won’t you? Come on now!The Mother Tongue of the Muse is a kiss of fireand a bad attitude that’s just so goodThe MuseHer invitation to play just makes me happy Let this be our unquiet revolutionAgainst all odds, a council of misfitsGathers to enjoy life amidst the chaos that swirlsBrazen, unapologetic, extra extra womenI will see you there, at the Red Thread CaféTea with the Muse is not just a good ideaIt’s Ritual Access to our Mother TongueLet’s speak, let’s sing, let’s sway, let’s prayLet’s Create!!Shiloh Sophia Laughing Cloud Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe

An invitation to tea. You are the universe embodied. A cooling sack of starsHow will you orient yourself within these times?* Is this an enforced crisis? My opinion is in here.* with all that is happening, where are we? Well where are you choosing to be* how taking time for yourself can REALLY serve you in your orientation* our art matriarch’s essential question - who lives in here * what about that identity if yours - what do they have to say* with climate change and war and insecurity, chosen consciousness is key* life saving tea timeLet’s breathe together.Shiloh Sophia Sue and I prepping for my first art show…1994So here we are. But where exactly are we? Here we are right in the middle of an evolutionary change that's at such a magnificent scale that it's hard for us to grasp where we are. Whether we're looking at economics, food, war unemployment, politics. No matter where we're looking, we can see that we're in a different place than we've been before. And we find ourselves wondering, what in the world are we going to do? Like 10 years ago, our activism looked different. The things that matter to us, diversity inclusion literally just equal rights for all let alone a freedom to pursue happiness. It's different now because we are at a level of enforced crisis. I say enforced because it's manipulated and created. Because the climate is speeded up to the degree that we can't evolve at the same degree that the needs of the planet are changing. Prophecies have indicated we are in different versions of end times, even though they name it something different. Meanwhile, many of us have friends and family who also appear to think that there's a lot of really good things happening. And there are a lot of really good things happening. So there's a question of where are we now as a species, as a people? But then there's just: Where are you now? Where are you orienting yourself inside of your own experience? Are you choosing your relationship to “What Is” or just responding and reacting to the things around you? Will you pause with me right now and just take a breath? You know, let's change that. Let's not say take a breath.Just receive a breath. Because the breath is happening naturally. The most beautiful things in life. The birds building the nest on the porch right now. The rising of the sun over the trees. The most beautiful things in life right now. have always been the most beautiful things. Of course, to be loved. Of course, to have a nest, to build a little family. To have beauty. And sometimes even quiet. To have enough. I think the sad and sometimes sorrowing and harrowing reality is that we know it could be different. We know it didn't have to be this way. And we don't know what to do.We're not sure where to turn. Yet somewhere deep inside of ourselves we know that we've been a part of creating, this at whatever level, you or your ancestors, or any way we look at it, we're all one, we're all interconnected. So we're all creating this and it doesn't appear right now as if we're going to be able to uncreate it in any amount of time that's going to make the biggest difference in terms of species going extinct or climate change, natural disasters. So the thing we have is our consciousness, our relationship to ourselves, the observer looking out from these eyes. Are you still breathing?Sue Hoya Sellers, our art matriarch, used to ask this question: Who lives in here? And she would tap her body. Who is it? What identity has colonized this particular matter called my body? Which she called my sacred address. A sacred address. A space or place where identity inhabits inside of a bubble called soul that appears to have traveled with us. Since the beginning of creation. If you are a cooling sack of stars. That iron which makes your blood red. Is the iron from exploding stars. Everything that's in your body. is also the universe, not everything that's in the universe is in your body but everything that's in your body is in essence the universe so you are an identity embodying the universe in the shape of you who is that what do they want what do they see what do they know what medicine are they holding. Are you breathing with me? Just ask the question, who lives in here? Just for an hour, get a journal and a cup of tea or coffee and sit outside bundled up in the morning light and just ask, who lives in here? And begin to write. Because when you are really in relationship with this being who lives in here, this soul that's inhabiting this incarnate form at this time, you gain access to greater wisdom, some hope beyond hope, some sacred technologies that were different than ones this lifetime. An inner knower, an intuitive being. They are here. You are here. So where are we now? We are right here.And when we're here, then we have the power to navigate because we come from a place of choice.But if you just rush into your day without stopping and breathing, without a little cafe, a little tea with the muse, it's harder once the day starts rolling. It's a hustle, baby. I'm asking you to stop hustling. And just breathe with me and be in a place of cafe. Tea with the Muse is life-saving because it helps you orient yourself to the day. Let's orient ourselves to our day right now. Not let the news or even sick family members, not letting the media or a disturbance at work or someone who's mad at you, not letting that define your orientation. It's there. You're not bypassing it.But if your orientation comes from a sense ofSself within, a cultivation of that self. And I am lending the Self that I am to sit beside the Self that you are in the Quantum Café. This is Curate Shiloh Sophia for Tea with the Muse. Thank you for listening. I'm grateful for you.Shiloh Sophia We have all kinds of ways you can play with us here at Musea. If you go to musea.org, Musea means many muses, many museums. We have a complimentary two-hour class called Uncommon Grounds. We have an in-person and virtual class called The Muse of Magics. We have Mother Nature, a 13-moon sisterhood. These are different levels of engagement, and you are welcome to join us here. I'm also sitting here in the presence that my 15-year project, Color of Woman, We have an in-person gathering, and the team has arrived yesterday and today, and then there will be close to 20 women in this space at Museum Center for Intentional Creativity and Consciousness. I'm settling into this role of teacher. I don't know what I'll do next. It hasn't come yet, but for now I prepare for Red Thread Circle. And tea with the muse. Blessed be your day. Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe

A beautiful photo of a community member holding another community members baby at MUSEA. Seeing the mother over her shoulder, seeing her face. Follow Chaos is the New Black Substack Purchase Your Copy of Chaos is the New BlackMy moms - Jonathan’s new book is dedicated to our moms Thank you mamas *Correction to the audio - I said public instead of private, only discovered that in the transcription - sorry.Pride, Gate-Keeping and Keeping the Heart Open During AI InfiltrationI have two moms and I'm proud of it. I have pride that I was raised in a family of matriarchs. I have a father too. Just because I'm raised by matriarchs doesn't mean it's anything against the fathers or the men. It's Pride Weekend. San Francisco is hustling and bustling with the freedom that we have fought to maintain.It wasn't so very long ago that women didn't wear pants on TV. It wasn't so very long ago that if someone came out being gay, their readership and viewership dropped. Can you remember how long ago it was that you had to be married to own property if you were a woman? This entire nation has been built on injustice and inequity.We know that already. But today, we celebrate with pride the idea that people get to love who they want, how they want, when they want, in the way that they want. We celebrate that people get to choose who they are and how they are and yes, that includes the gender that they are.Everything is changing. It's curious that this event, this idea is called Pride, which is still a reaction to that we were shamed about who we were. When I look at the rainbow flag and the changes, the addition of the black stripe and the circle, and looked it up to see what all the changes meant to that rainbow, which represents so much, not just for people who identify within it, but for the community members and the family members and the people that love people who love, however they want. I was raised to believe I could love whoever I wanted. And I can.And you can too. But just in this exact moment of feeling the pride for loving who we love, how we want to, when we do, and whoever we do, in whatever way we want, I just want to pause and notice that it's still a reaction to shame. Moving out of reaction-based behavior is one of my life practices at this time. It's one of the things I teach all the time in Intentional Creativity. It's asking the question: What would I spend my life force on if I wasn't reacting and forming organizations and statements and images that are in reaction to injustice and the right way to do things. Because we have to protect, we have to guard, we have to be a gatekeeper of our rights. As Bob Marley says: Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our minds. Yes, they're going for our minds. But they're not just going for our minds, they're also going for our hearts. But they're not just going for our hearts, they're going for our gut. They're not just going for our gut, they're going for our private parts. Right now, We live in a world where we have to defend what is precious, what is vulnerable, and what is fragile. Right now we are in a situation, y'all, that requires us to be hypervigilant, that requires us to be gatekeepers in a way that we haven't had to be before. And I can't help but think about how so many of us, our brains are not wired, not even wired, to digest the level of information that we're dealing with.Predatorial energy is here at an all new level. And in our community, it's been increasing for the past two weeks. I'm pretty sure most of you know this, but I'm just saying it anyway. This is part of my Pride day, which is just to say, we must all learn to be gatekeepers, to protect ourselves. And how sad that we need to do that. But we do. The AI infiltration is happening in a huge way across the majority of social and tech platforms where people gather. It's all a setup. The gig is rigged and we know it. Otherwise, we wouldn't have to be so proud and defend against the shaming.Why does it have to be such a big deal to love how we love and identify how we identify? Why? ~ in other news…Our private group on Facebook, which is called the Red Thread Cafe, now has a bot asking people creative questions. We got it out one time and it just came back and I just blocked the effort.I know that Facebook was a free service and I can't expect privacy. Why is an AI bot asking creative questions such a problem? It's harmless, right? It wants to know about our creative practices. Wrong. It's not harmless at all. We have an app. It's called iMusea. We have private groups for our students, but the main thread remains open and has since 2020. Again, we've barely had an incident with unwanted app peeps, but this week we had a whole bunch of, “men” “artists” come in and start messaging people and posting ridiculously fake art. Yeah, you drew that little puppy, did you? Yeah.I pay over $600 a month for this app so our students can get off of the social platforms and interact and build community. I tell everybody the main thread's not private, but it's hard for people to know that for sure. If I made it private, our students would have to pay to come in. Hmm, more gatekeeping.My substack, Tea with the Muse and the Cura Council, has an infiltration of new followers. But when I click on their names to follow back to see if I might want to, nobody's there. No one. Even though they have a follow back button. What is the agenda for new followers that might not be people?What are they gaining? My information. It is challenging to talk authentically to one's, quote “audience”, when one has built it over 30 years, when so many new listening ears are nefarious and playing on vulnerability. Right now, if I share my truth, if I speak my voice, it will be used against me. Pride says do it anyway.Pride says share and deal with the backlash. Be proud of who you are, who you love, and where you came from. People that I know are getting scammed left and right. They don't know it. They can't believe it. Haven't spent the time developing that level of protection. Our brains have a hard time grasping this level of nefarious activity, all designed around greed. It's toxic, y'all. When is that new paradigm we are seeking coming into being? I know. I know. It's already here. It's just my perception. But is it? What about for those of us who are community builders, who now have to be protectors at a whole new level? How sad that we must be gatekeepers to this degree. What would I be doing with all my life force if I wasn't trying to protect myself and my community? They're all gathering data and preying on us. Look, I don't really have anything to hide, but as a community gatekeeper, I cannot keep my peoples safe. Not that I ever could. I've never promised safety. I've only said let's create sacred space and that we're all responsible for creating it. But if people are in there who are predatorial, I can't even create sacred space. All I'm saying is, it's different now.And I know I can't be a good gatekeeper right now because I can't protect against the influx. So we need to wise up together. We need to report weird stuff and double check and click but not too much and realize what we thought was safe enough never was at all.Then they're going to charge us a premium to protect us from the intruder when in many cases the intruder and the protector are the same in the capitalist world. You might want to check out Jonathan McCloud’s new book, Chaos is the New Black. He points to the reality of where we are, how we can engage with the narrative in a new and powerful way. I recommend Chaos is the New Black book and Substack. ~You know... Getting emails from confused women and elders asking me, is this person safe? This person who flatters me, who wants to do my portrait, who wants to buy my art for their wife. Blah, blah, blah. Take me on a date. Pay for my private jet. I'll come pick you up and whisk you away to another world. Our brains are not wired to protect at this level. We're just not used to it. Maybe the younger generations are. There are so many things to be pissed about right now. And this is one of them. It isn't just privacy keeping. It is protecting against invasion and full infiltration. What a waste of time for good humans to have to spend so much time and money and brain and power protecting our already fragile space. Listen. There's dissonance being created.Because what our eyes see and what our ears hear and our brain perceives, our heart will not want to accept that it's dangerous. Because our heart wants to be open in love. So to keep our eyes open and our heart open is a challenge. It's a discipline. Dissonance is here. And then let's just talk about the gut for a minute. As soon as I talk about the gut, I get all kinds of ads for gut support being sold to me for only $29.99 a month. Please just put your subscription in here. We'll send it to you every month for the rest of your life. And you can unsubscribe at any time if you can only figure out that precious password. It's a paradigm of b******t passwords. What a waste of time for good humans to have to spend so much time protecting an already vulnerable and fragile space.And the gut, which is supposed to help the heart and the brain discern and be wise. How many people do you know with gut issues right now? So I ask you this question. What would you be doing if you weren't spending your time gatekeeping?What would you be doing if you didn't have to protect yourself all the time? What would you be doing if you didn't have to turn the shame for who you love and what you love into being proud of it? I'm proud of every person in pride who has had to defend against the world that doesn't want them to be who they are. When is that new world coming? Is it here? Let's learn to keep our eyes and our ears and our heart open. Like the country song says…sleeping with one eye open.So today, as I honor pride and my roots, I also honor and alert us all to what we already know. Danger is at the door. Do not let it in. Do not be taken in by false narratives. The impacts of false narratives in our lives is very real. We will grow. We will change.We are creating the new world right alongside the one that no longer serves good humans. I don't mean good like moral or pure. I just mean we want to live our lives. I can't help but wonder if it was easier to just live one's life 50 or 100 years ago. But it doesn't matter. We're here now.And this brave new world requires even more bravery. It requires us to be discerning. Shall we? Shall we become more discerning together? I think we're going to have to. Maybe becoming more wise and more proud could be a good time. I'm in. What about you?Shiloh Sophia I removed this line: “Although I wish that we would wait until we were older to make finalizing decisions”. because it was offensive to Trans. Thank you for telling me, that was not my intention at all, I want to refine how I speak about this because I honor the Trans community - and I also work with concerned moms. Looking for the balance. Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe

Sunrise in Santa Fe on my recent journeyGood Morning Dear Ones,There certainly is a lot to pray about right now. Today’s offering shares:A bit of my spiritual ancestral rootsAn invitation to pray standing, pray and sway with me, in community My Grandmother’s hands knitting the world as it unravelsThe history of Mother Mary being moved out to th gardenExploring your name for MaThe Cult of DeathA story of when Sue, our lineage ancestor went to see Amma and more…With love,Shiloh Sophia Lots of upcoming events are happening - come see at www.musea.org“This bio-power was without question an indispensable element in the development of capitalism; the latter would not have been possible without the controlled insertion of bodies into the machinery of production and the adjustment of the phenomena of population to economic processes. But this was not all it required; it also needed the growth of both these factors, their reinforcement as well as their availability and docility; it had to have methods of power capable of optimizing forces, aptitudes, and life in general without at the same time making them more difficult to govern.” Michel FoucaultUnedited TranscriptWe Pray StandingIn the sanctuary of my Ancestors, we pray standing. It's a beautiful thing to see. To look around and see people in their colorful clothing, many of them barefoot. Scarves, babies, little ones, families, nuns. Standing and moving. Moving about the sanctuary. I'm the only one rocking back and forth as I stand. But still, I pray standing. My Ancestors on my father's(Gregory Davis) side are from the Ukraine, so my great grandfather was Ukrainian Orthodox. In the center of the sanctuary is not a cross of death. That came much later when Catholicism split off from Orthodoxy. They moved the cross from the left, which was one of the stations of the story, and put it in the middle and moved the mother and her child on their throne to the left, if you're facing the altar. And then eventually... Many of the churches of the West took Mary outside into the garden and most of them took the baby out of her arms. (A change from life in the center to death in the center)So she went from the center, ruling, to the side watching death of her child and then all the way out to the garden, and then no baby in her arms. Making her pure and virgin, and almost untouchable to women. This evolution of image happens over thousands of years. The French philosopher Michel Foucault talks about this idea of how the image of the feminine and of women changes intentionally. We don't even notice that she's moved from her place in the center. Life in the center. Not death in the center. We've made a cult of death. Not of resurrection. Not of birth. Not of rebirth. But of death itself. Now, I'm not saying that death doesn't come and is a part of our natural cycle of life. But the way that we've been doing it over the past 8,000 years is a colonization, not just of lands and cultures, but of the minds and hearts of the people who have centered ourselves in death.So I pray standing. Because it keeps me awake. It keeps me aware. It keeps me listening as if the soles of my feet have ears. I pray with eyes open, looking around me. Now that I am not in the sanctuary of my ancestors in the way that I once was. I am now facing a stand of trees that have become my cathedral and the birds my choir. While I have chosen not to speak out against the church of my ancestors because they are my blood and I am their blood. Still, I must speak to you from the place where I am, where life, a mother and child, sits at the center of my awareness. In our community, we just call her Ma, ancient root mother tongue.Ma. So today, as I pray standing, swaying, I call on the name of Ma. Ma. Ma, ever-emergent Ma. Let us stand with you in prayer right now. Beings gathered throughout the world right in this moment. praying, standing.And if you are listening, would you pray standing with me? Would you stop your multitasking and all the things that seem more important and just come with me now? Will you imagine with me hundreds, thousands, millions of people praying, standing, swaying and chanting the name Ma. Ma. ma. mama. Long, long ago in a different lineage, our beautiful neighbor Alice Walker brought Sue Hoya Sellers, our art matriarch, to see Amma, the hugging saint, who herself had to break ranks with her tradition in order to do what she does. And certainly that has turned out well. ( Speaking to being a female guru in a culture that has tried hard to only have men, and other allegations)I'm thinking of her, Amma, now because very recently a Native American composer who has lit up my heart, wanted so badly to give me something one day, and she gave me roses from Amma and I sang to her this chant… which I will sing to you now as we pray standing. Just through coming into presence, prayer coming into presence, even if you don't know the names to call or the songs to sing or what to pray about or how to do it just pray with me standing and sway. Sue Hoya Sellers, when she got her hug from Amma, Amma asked her, Who do you call on? What is the name of your goddess, your mother?What a beautiful thing to say, to not insist on a “way”, but say, to whom do you pray? And Sue Hoya Sellers surprised herself by saying the name of Mary. Mary. Mary. Sue was devoted to the goddess and in our time together in the gallery, which was many years and teaching. From 2000 to 2014, so around, 14 years, she came into the place called Sophia, but we held a common ground of Mary, mother of many goddesses along the timeline of goddesses that have been appearing for 40,000 years. So she surprised herself by saying, Mary, indeed, surprised us all. And so Amma gave her this chant, which as we stand praying, I offer to you.Om Shri Mary Ma Om Shri Mary Ma Om Shri Mary Ma Om Shri Mary Ma Om Shri Mary Ma Om Shri Mary Ma. Om. Join me if you choose. Om Shri Mary Ma. Om Shri Mary Ma. Om Shri Mary Ma. Om.("Om Shri" is a combination of two powerful words in Hinduism. "Om" (ॐ) is a sacred syllable representing the universe and ultimate reality, while "Shri" (श्री) is a term of respect, often used as a prefix to deities, revered individuals, or to invoke auspiciousness and prosperity. Together, "Om Shri" can be interpreted as a salutation or invocation to the divine, often used to invite blessings and positive energy) Google Ai AnswerStanding in the place of peace. Standing in the place of our Mother. Singing with you and to you. Tears come to my eyes. My heart slows down from its worried rhythm. My swaying becomes natural to my body. And I enter the sanctuary of community. Because that is what you are. We stand in the quantum commons together.In the space between spaces. Calling on the names we call on. In whatever way that we do. Looking at the trees that you look at. Standing on the good ground where you are. Looking out to the future from the now. Mother of Life, we, your children, are in need of your love.We, your children, do not know the way forward. We feel concerned for the great unfolding. As quickly as we knit it together, our loops are untied. But knit and loop we must. I see my Grandmother's hands crocheting (Eden). I see my grandmother's hands knitting, crocheting a holder for a plant, a ceramic pot that my Aunt (Janet)made.I see my grandmother knitting my pink blanket. She said she hated pink, so she must love me a lot, as she made my pink blanket. I see my Grandmother's hands now in the ancestral world, weaving as it were, trying to tie things back together with beauty as quickly as they become undone.So weave and knit and sew and bake and write and paint and sing. We must. We must. Call upon the names of your sacred knowing. And if you do not know, just stand in the presence of wonder. The poet Rumi says, If you can't pray a real prayer, pray a dry-mouthed prayer, because God accepts counterfeit money as though it were real. Which makes me think of my sister Shannon. who is in need of my prayer at this time. And she never wanted to pray until I told her that. And she said: that, that I can do. And so we prayed. This is a time for prayer shawls.This is a time for eyes open. But this is also a time for gathering yourself into yourself, into the spaces that you consider sanctuary. Sanctuary. Sanctuary. Chosen places to gather. For those of you of many different traditions where you honor Ma, or perhaps you don't, I do not propose the idea of Mary or my tradition. I simply share with you where I'm standing and I'd love to hear where you're standing too. Because in order for us to stand together, it isn't that we isolate what we believe. So that the other people are not offended. No. Our mother Caron said that's not really a community.Mama Cloud said that real community is where I can call upon the names that I call upon. And you can call upon the names that you call upon. And that we can stand in it together without needing to defend or compete. And our many voices raise up in prayer.Because whoever Creator really is when all this comes to completion…any true heart, that calls the name, the energy, the space, the place…Will be heard as something true. It's our hearts that matter right now. So stand with me now. Centering yourself. Swaying and praying, looking out at the rising sun. Breathing, becoming, belonging.I'm encouraging you to pray with me standing for 15 minutes a day. Will you? Just try it. See what happens. It can only be something good. Thank you for this time with me, Circle, Council of Wise Ones. You are loved.Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. given an anyhow praise. In the Black church where I grew up, interwoven with the rest of my practices, we would raise up our hands and we would say, Hallelujah anyhow. It's an anyhow praise. Let's do it now. Hallelujah anyhow. Yes, yes. Hallelujah anyhow. Here we are. Hallelujah anyhow.Let us pray and sway this day.Curate Shiloh Sophia Me one year ago yesterday at the Pyramid of the sun in Mexico. Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe

Today I turn 55 and the storm is brewing outside. The wild flowers sway in the afternoon wind. Today I'm 55. Today I'm open to life and life is open to me.My body temple serves me well. I experience pleasure by choice in hundreds of tiny and miraculous ways all throughout my days.I grieve the suffering also by choice in solidarity with the world. I weave my colorful threads in the great basket unfolding and reweaving itself. I have lived my purpose. I am self-expressed and I love it. I love it. While there is always more to do and be and learn, I am complete today.The story being told is my own legend. Self lives here in me and we are good. My cooling sack of stars is lit up by a love that feels ancient and intact. A woman stands outside drumming, singing in an ancient tongue as I begin this message to you. I have no children of my own living.I have few elders of my own living. Family as I knew it feels like something in the past, we do not gather the way that we used to. I love my family and yet find myself wondering about the next version of chosen family in the day-to-day life. I am sovereign and at times feel very alone in what I am carrying as a soul. I know you know what I'm talking about. Perhaps my biggest surprise is my intentional community. The pure joy of this lifetime is this big, big love. Intentional community. Intentional creativity. Many muses in many lands with many hands.Today, all of my marriage bonds are complete this lifetime. I am complete in and of myself. As I lay down the burden of my lineage, of my grandmother's grandmother's grandmother's called: compromise to survive. The home, the elusive home I've always sought, must now become my own living heart.This is the practice, and the rest is the great adventure. At least that's what Mama said. So we shall see what mother life reveals in me now. I offer my services into the great weave of creation. The mountains have become my sisters, and the rivers have become my brothers.And the plants and the animals, my cousins and the genderless trees, they are my parents now. I feel a kind of orphaning. It's not the same kind as many orphans, but there's something stirring. So I lean into the trees. Yes, I am she. She. But beyond the need for definition lies this strange freedom.May the poetry of life's longing make of me a pen of reverence. May the painting of the world's beauty make of me a brush of radiance. May the ceremony of the ancestors sing through me now and now and now. I used to say to the divine, use me. Now I say to the divine, show me.Make the path clear and may there be really good coffee with honey and cinnamon and cream and morning sun always in my cup. There's a feeling I have of almost having transcended sovereignty and entered into a unity with the natural world. Not so much a dissolving, but an integrating.Because becoming one with wildflowers in the desert after the rain is such a good idea. Many of the names I have called myself were given to me by others and fathers and also men who did not provide the nourishment this wildflower needed. Thank you, Grandmother Eden, for the name McCloud.She chose it for herself as an elder, And me and my loved ones, we share it like breaking bread. I have swallowed a new secret name. I have swallowed a new secret name. A true name which can only be given by one's self after a long and dangerous journey in the inner landscape of human being.You know, this all sounds really dramatic. And it is. But it's also very quiet. I would whisper it if I could. This message is signed in the white cosmos of the Santa Fe desert that appear overnight after the rain. I am here. I'm with a group of over 25 women, but I'm not telling anyone here it's my birthday. But I've told you. Glory be in this fragile strength of becoming. An elder in training is reborn.Shiloh Sophia Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe

Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe

I can’t follow directions. I only have a high school education. I am challenged to know my left from my right, but I can build a website.I have just returned from my father’s memorial and I haven’t found words to talk about it yet, but this is what came out. This episode is an exploration into my limitations and my gifts. Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe