Andy Zaltzman

Can Russell convince Andy to go to a Water Park? And can Andy convince Russell to visit an Ancient Greek Citadel? It’s a tussle for the ages.  This episode of Five Brilliant Things all comes from the brains of comedian and cricket statistics royalty, Andy Zaltzman.  It is, frankly, a fiesta of culture. From obscure Ancient Greek plays to casting sculptures in bronze the depth and breadth of Andy’s magnificent brains are on full display. Oh, yes, there’s also a smattering of cricket chat. Just a smattering. About an over’s worth. 🏏 Andy is fast becoming a household name for his work on Test Match Special, but he is first and foremost an outstanding comedian with some of the most original, funny and brilliant satirical routines out there.  His current one man show is touring theatres across the UK right now. It is called ‘The Zaltgeist’ and you can find out the dates and book the tickets by going to andyzaltzman.co.uk.  🎤 Russell’s doing some gigs in Scandinavia 🫎 and then India, Hong Kong and some even further flung places. If you’re in those places then get tickets and dates by going to russell-howard.co.uk.  And there endeth the sermon. Hopefully your souls are all now saved, or at least not quite as filthy as when you walked into this chapel. Now go out there, love thy neighbour and all that shit.  🙏 Amen. Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There is something wonderful about this episode. Jessie has been through a lot. She’s taken more life thrown at her than most other people could handle, yet there is still an emphatic positivity that shines through. These Five Brilliant Things have a bittersweet quality to them which makes for a tender, funny and terrific show. Jessie talked about her novel ‘Sunset’ on the podcast, and it really is a great piece of work, highly recommended. Please either buy it from an independent bookshop, or you could get it online HERE.   Jessie also has a podcast called ‘Whenever it Kicks’ which is about parenthood, life generally and more - give that a look HERE.  In our Patreon show with Jessie this week, her Five Brilliant Questions did tend towards the Harry Potter, I’ll be honest. But there was none of that in the main show so it was fascinating hearing what it was like on set, what cliques there were - and then we get into the real business of Jessie and Russell discussing the finer points of filming sex scenes.  Do I have your attention? It’s all in our Patreon which you can find here patreon.com/RussellHoward  And now you can see the walls coming back into focus as we descend back into the real world and leave this astral plane of blurb. It’s been a wild trip and it has been a humbling experience to be your spirit guide through this.  If you ever regain your sanity maybe we’ll see you again next week?  Good Day to You, Enlightened One. Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Would you expect to find the Pub Landlord chowing down in a Wagamama? Neither would we but it’s exactly where he’ll be. Al Murray tells Russell why he always has the same noodles, the best place to get pissed in Ireland and a sidetrack into trained cannon musicians.  Al Murray is a proper British treasure. If you only know him as the Pub Landlord then there’s so much more - he gives so much History, explains some fascinating background to percussion (he’s a dab hand percussionist) and is a font of knowledge that refuses to stop spewing interesting stuff all over the podcast floor.  It was a nightmare to clean up but that’s NOT YOUR PROBLEM. As you heard on the podcast Al makes a regular WW2 podcast ‘We Have Ways of Making you Talk’ which you can find HERE.  If you haven’t seen Al live, then you really should. One of the best. Such a great comic. He’s just extended his current tour ‘Guv Island’. Check out the tour dates and get tickets by visiting Al’s website www.thepublandlord.com In our Patreon Show this week, Al answers your questions, telling us which country is best at wars in history ever, he recommends the greatest drum solo ever recorded and Russell tells Al about the best/worst prank that was ever played on him. It is a cruel one. Really spicy. Go to: patreon.com/RussellHoward to get involved. We want to see you there, it’s a lot of fun and you can join for free to start with so nothing to lose!  I believe that’s all the housekeeping. If you’re still with me on this epic reading journey then well done. As a treat, I will tell you that I think the word ‘shoffice’ is the worst in the English Language. And I don’t mind mashing two words together at all, but everything about shoffice is ugly - it demeans two perfectly good words, and ideas, and the word, concept and everything about it is bleak. It’s not a shoffice it’s a shed with a computer in it.  There you go. Some ‘treat’ that was. Until next time, and remember to wrap up warm. You can’t catch a cold by going out dressed like that (it’s a virus, that’s not how colds work) but you will look like a plucked chicken. Bye bye.  Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You want rollerskating telephone operators? We got ‘em. You want arguments about how many gears a decent bike should have? It’s all here in this episode of Five Brilliant Things with Suzi Ruffell. From the rough-arse pubs of Portsmouth to the fashionable theatres of London’s West End, this lovely show touches on all corners of Suzi’s past.  Suzi’s on tour in 2025 with her brand-new show ‘The Juggle’. It’s going all over the UK to a town or city near you in the second half of the year. Tickets and dates can all be found and acquired at suziruffell.com Aaaaand Suzi’s latest recorded special ‘Snappy’ is out now, available to rent HERE. Today’s Patreon episode of Five Brilliant Questions sees both Suzi and Russell get very serious about the question ’Is it ever acceptable to eat a baguette sideways?’ If you think you know the answer then please join us and get involved and settle the debate. You can join our Patreon for free if you like, and we’d be delighted to have you on the team. Check it all out at patreon.com/RussellHoward  And who even are you, reading this far down some show notes. But thanks for sticking with me. I hope you have a wonderful 2025. Just think, you're probably the only person in the world who's read this. And that means that it's only you who's received this well-wish. It's just for you. Because you're special. Until next time! Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From a town planner, to dressing as a burger, to conquering the world of podcasts, Vogue Williams strides across this podcast like a Colossus, taking us to mad Irish Christmases in the pub, to sleeping with unfeasible numbers of pillows (6?!) to wild Podcast tour shows.  It’s a real blast. You’ve probably heard Vogue on many podcasts so you know she’s just great to hang out with, and this is no exception. A conversation that bounces along gleefully from one Brilliant Thing to another.  Now go and subscribe to one or all of Vogue’s podcasts: 🤭Never Live it Down with Vogue Williams 👻 My Therapist Ghosted Me 👩‍❤️‍👨 Spencer and Vogue As ever we recorded an episode of our Patreon show ‘Five Brilliant Questions’ with Vogue, and this week it was actually useful thanks to the question ‘I’m lazy, how can I get fit with minimum effort’ and there’s an answer! A real, useful answer! Check out our Patreon which you can find here patreon.com/RussellHoward and you can join on a basic level - for free!  Here endeth the sermon of blurb. Thank you for attending church this week, please pop a few pennies in the collection box on the way out and do be careful of falling masonry. They stole all the lead, the blighters.  Amen.  Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I tell you what’s fun to listen to: someone who loves cake, talking passionately about cake. Griefcast’s Cariad Lloyd sits with Russell and waxes lyrical about Pavlova and wider cakes. There’s more! We get all down and dirty with the Moomins and then there’s a weird bit where Cariad and Russell start acting out passages from Labyrinth. Which music star was originally slated to play Jareth? It wasn’t Bowie… the answer lies in this terrific episode. Cariad talked in the podcast about her book, the Christmas Wish-tastrophe, and that is available now, and if you know an 11-14 year old just get them this for Christmas. Then that one is done, another one off your list. They will read and enjoy it.  You can get that book at your local independent bookshop, or google the name of the book and choose an independent book provider online. You can do this! Don’t just default to the monolithic behemoths! Cariad’s regular podcast is Griefcast, where she talks to all manner of people about the various ways people deal with life when things are tough. Cariad is an absolutely incredible host and it’s a wonderful podcast, whether you yourself are struggling or not. Check it out HERE.  In this week’s Patreon show of Five Brilliant Questions, Cariad answered some deep knowledge questions about Gondor (It’s Lord of the Rings apparently. I have no idea). She also reveals what kind of hat she would be (as always, really probing questions from you guys) and Russell has a crisis about hat-wearing in general.  Go to: patreon.com/RussellHoward to get involved. Looking forward to seeing you there!  And that faint glugging noise means our Bathysphere has reached the surface of the water and our underwater journey through the Great Sea of Blurb has come to an end. Let us make our soggy way into the decompression chamber and talk about all the magnificent words we saw over a lovely biscuit and a cup of tea.  See you next week. Don’t leave your Christmas shopping until the last minute. This time of year is busy enough without having to hate yourself for being disorganised too. Bye bye x Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You want wisdom? Here’s five bucketfuls of Wisdom poured into your ears. Britain’s top philosopher Alain de Botton sits down with Russell and, well, it’s an absolute belter. 🧠 He explains how to make your mind more healthy, how to get through the bad times and he tells Russell just how much he loves water parks. Yeah. You don’t get that on the other Alain de Botton interviews, do you? 🧠 There’s so much to enjoy, and so much nourishment in here for you. Give it a bloody whirl and you won’t regret it. Also, don’t double-screen it. Give it some attention. There’s proper good stuff in there, it seems a waste to have it on while your attention is 85% on finishing the next level of Balatro. So you’ve enjoyed the podcast, and you are keen to expand your curiosity further? Good. So you should. Alain’s books are available in all independent bookshops, and a good start point for your curiosity is Alain’s online home The School of Life.  Have a look around, watch some videos, check out the shop, and you can subscribe if you want to get really involved with your own mind.  In our Patreon show this week Alain answered your questions, and the show gets looser in a really fascinating way - Alain talks a bit more about himself and his own life, what drew him to his work and how he likes to organise his thoughts.  The Patreon community you can join for free, so please do join us, we’re growing and we’d love you to come along for the journey. We’ve got lots of exciting plans, but really it’s worth just getting more of Alain. I’m a big fan. Can you tell? Go to: patreon.com/RussellHoward. And that’s the end of the screed. It’s been a great ride having you along for this podcast blurb, I feel we’ve come a long way together and really connected. I hate goodbyes. Maybe it’s not ‘adieu’ but more ‘a bientot’? Same place next week? Lovely.  Until then. There’s no need to keep your ketchup in the fridge so take it out and free up some room. Better still, get rid of the red abomination you’re ruining perfectly good food.  Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Get an Exclusive NordVPN deal here: https://nordvpn.com/fivebrilliantthings It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why did Robbie Williams leave Sara a voicemail out of the blue? Sara actually plays Russell the voicemail live on the podcast. The moment when Sara was contacted out of the blue by her teenage crush. It’s an ELECTRIFYING podcast moment!  You’d expect Sara to be fantastic and you’d be right. What a guest. She’s a woman with a borderline psychotic obsession with soup. She tells Russell about her great grandmother who was an extraordinary woman and potentially a killer (unproven), and of course we’ve got that insane Robbie Williams moment. Because it’s a voicemail we can’t say for sure if he was man or monkey when he recorded it.  Sara has just announced a mega-tour of the UK in 2025, which is immensely exciting. She’s a really excellent, funny and thoughtful comic who will give you an amazing evening of fun, and you’ll come away with some new fizzy brain ideas too.  The tour is called ‘I am a Strange Gloop’ and it’s going everywhere.  Find out the dates and get the tickets at sarapascoe.co.uk 🚨 BIG NEWS ALERT! 🚨 Today we launch our Patreon page, which you can join for free to get some extra goodies, and if you like it then you can join as a full member, which means you'll get our spin-off show, Five Brilliant Questions - and you'll get to make the show with us.  It's looser than the main show and a lot of fun.  On this week’s show, one listener asked for the recipe for a lasagna that Sara cooked in a dream they had. It’s very weird, a lot of fun and the recipe is not what you expect.  Go to: https://www.patreon.com/c/RussellHoward to get involved. Looking forward to seeing you there!  And we’ve come colliding to the buffers at the end of the track once again. This is the last stop, all change please. If you need me I’ll be in the little room with all the other drivers having a well earned cup of Bovril.  Next week, I will be here and I hope you will too.  Sayonara, you wonderful human being.  Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Does Rugby's hardest man have a dog with the least hard name? It's all in this barnstorming show with England Rugby Union Prop Joe Marler, who announced his retirement just a week ago. Joe tells Russell about drug testing in Japan, he explains the fine art of shithousery and they both get incredibly passionate about biscuits. As we talk about on the show, Joe's post-rugby work is his weekly podcast that he does with Tom Fordyce, 'Things People Do'. It's well worth checking out, it really is one of the better podcasts around. You can get it on Spotify, Apple, your podcast app there on your phone, or if it's easier, just click this link to help you find it. Russell is working up some new material at the moment, popping up at gigs across the UK and for a little while in Australia. Keep up to date with all his latest gigs at Russell-howard.co.uk. Thanks once again for tuning in, and remember when the ball pops loose from the scrum you've got to just dive on it. Byeeee! Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Get an Exclusive NordVPN deal here: https://nordvpn.com/fivebrilliantthings It’s risk-free with Nord’s 30-day money-back guarantee! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to Five Brilliant Things, or as it used to be known, Wonderbox.  Like a latter-day Reginald Dwight we’ve had a wee name change - everything else is the same show that you know and love.  And this week, the irrepressible Giovanna Fletcher is in the studio to explain the beauty of silent discos (Russell disagrees), the majesty of a dibber and some top tips for dropping your guts on a mountain.  It’s a brilliant chat that bobs along at a lick, taking in Giovanna’s writing career, her performing and getting into the practical challenges of trekking across the Himalayas. Giovanna can be found weekly on her Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast, and she’ll be appearing across the UK in the upcoming stage production of The Girl on the Train.  🥾 But probably most importantly, she’s in the Himalayas right now trekking to raise money for the awesome Breast Cancer Charity, CoppaFeel!  🥾 For more information about CoppaFeel! and how you can support this challenge and donate to the CoppaTrek! head to the following link - https://coppatrek-himalayas.coppafeel.org/ - to help CoppaFeel! ensure everyone has the best possible chance of surviving breast cancer.   And for those of you wondering why a podcast would change its name… you’d be surprised if you call your podcast something as suggestive as ‘Wonderbox’ just how much attention you get from spambots.  So unless ‘Brilliant Thing’ has become some kind of new euphemism we haven’t heard of then we should be safe for the time being. It’s Wonderbox. But now it’s called Five Brilliant Things. And we will return next week with another fabulous guest. Goodbye!  Producer: Dan Atkinson Line Producer: Daisy Knight Exec Producer: James Taylor Composer: Fat Lady Music Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices