RE 605: The Most Prolific Teaching

Today we have Karen. She is 50 years old, from Chicopee, MA and she took her last drink of alcohol on January 13th, 2024.   This episode is brought to you by:                                          Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Café RE – the social app for sober people   [03:20] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul loops back to episode 599 which was titled Romanticizing the Drink. He wants to bring that idea back into consciousness and gives us two things to remember the next time we get the idea that a drink would take the edge off or make life better. Number one, it is total bullshit. Number two, he wants us to start romanticizing the clear mornings. Romanticize less financial stress and a liver that is properly functioning.   Through the recovery process, Paul shares that he has learned about so many different healing modalities: meditation, breathwork, yoga, goat yoga and many more. But none are more important than The Golden Rule (aka, love they neighbor). Most people in the modern world reject this teaching due to its simplicity. Basically, it is the idea that what you put out there is what you get back.   [09:12] Paul introduces Karen:   Karen is 50 years old and lives in Chicopee, MA with her husband of 25 years, and their two sons. She has been a nurse for 27 years. For fun, she enjoys hanging out with her dog, loves fitness and practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.   Karen states that she was always a normal drinker until her mid-thirties when she fell into the "Mommy Wine Culture" trap. Her kids were older and she began drinking on the weekends at first, but it gradually crept into a daily habit.   As Karen got into her forties, she started to feel the effects of drinking every day. Her insomnia on the drinking nights and the aches, pains and low energy began to catch up to her. She never believed it was the alcohol and instead assumed it was symptoms of perimenopause.   Karen initially started trying to moderate the wine in an effort to save some calories and hopefully lose some weight. She says it didn't go well. On the days that Karen didn't drink she said it was boring and she was irritable.   Late December 2023, Karen started feeling sluggish and was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She began to see that she was drinking faster than others when they were out to dinner. She checked her budget for the year and was surprised how much was spent at the bottle shop on cases of wine each month.   The last straw for Karen was in January 2024 when she and a coworker decided to hold each other accountable and only drink on Fridays and Saturdays. The first weekend was ok but she felt she knuckled white through the first week. On the second Saturday, the dread she felt that she would not be able to drink for almost a whole week was overwhelming. This made her recognize that maybe this was more than just being a wine girl and that she was actually addicted.   Karen decided to take a break to show alcohol that she was in charge. Karen discovered some reels and TikToks of people talking about quitting drinking and the benefits of it. This sparked her interest and she was determined to see if she could gain any of those benefits for herself.   Almost immediately, Karen's sleep improved.  She shares that she did have some physical withdrawals and was dealing with anxiety, depression and anhedonia. It was around the 100 day mark that Karen realized that she had all the evidence she needed to stay quit. She was on the other side and began to see the beautiful side of sobriety. She had joined Café RE and was hooked on being able to have daily support, participate in the chats with others who understood where she was.   Karen's parting piece of guidance: you've got to do all the things. And if you do all the things and feed this beast enough time, you'll find success on the other side.     Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this. RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube  

Today we have Cricket. She is 40 years old, lives in Chattanooga, TN, and she took her last drink on July 27th, 2022.   This episode is brought to you by:                                          Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   The new book This Is How We Quit is now available on Amazon. Throughout the rest of 2026, $2 from every copy sold will be donated to Café RE.   If you are in your first 90 days of sobriety and want to share your story on the podcast, please email [email protected] .   [02:32] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us that one of the hardest things for him while doing the RE podcast is focus on his side of the street. This means not directing anger, frustration outwards towards things like big alcohol, big pharma, etc. We think modern society is how we're supposed to live, but it's mentally, physically and biologically destroying us and even the animals and nature around us.   What do we do to focus more on our side of the street? You're already doing something about this by making the decision to stop poisoning yourself with alcohol. The next step is to come together as a community. Come closer to your fellow human beings.   The addiction tries to trick you into believing you are alone, but you are not. Come see us in Café RE, go to a 12-step meeting, keep listening. You're not alone.   [09:15] Paul introduces Cricket:   Cricket is 40 years old, lives in Chattanooga, TN with her cats and works in a restaurant downtown. She enjoys reading and writing and loves good TV shows.   Cricket says her drinking was problematic from the start. She was at a party while her mother and sister were out of town and ended up blacking out and acting crazy. The partygoers handcuffed Cricket and took her to the police where she was placed in state custody until her mom could get her out.   In college, Cricket was overwhelmed at the idea of being an adult with all the new people, so she turned to alcohol because it helped her feel brave and popular. When school began to get in the way of how Cricket wanted to drink, she dropped out.   Cricket got married young to a man she met on campus. He was a big partier and enabled her drinking and drug use. Her drinking progressed, she and her husband began to have legal troubles, and Cricket would get so out of control that friends and family would drop her off at the psychiatric hospital because they didn't know what else to do.   Cricket would quit drinking for a week or so but would start right back. The voice inside began telling her this isn't how she wanted to live. She tried moderation, tried going to rehab and tried Antabuse.   When she was 27, Cricket's mother checked her into rehab. She stayed sober for three months before thinking she could moderate again. She got a DUI but still tried to keep alcohol in her life. Around age 30 was when Cricket realized it was the alcohol that was making her life so difficult.   Cricket was 33 when she moved to Chattanooga after her second divorce. The drinking and the consequences of it continued for her. One night in July 2022, Cricket looked at the beer in her hand and just decided she didn't want this life anymore.   The biggest shift this time was that the idea did not come from anyone else, it was Cricket coming to this conclusion on her own. She acknowledged that moderation did not work and she needed to stop completely.   Cricket says she relied on two things when she first quit – one day at a time and playing the tape forward. Focusing on the present moment was how she realized that she could do this. She says it reduces her fear of the future and kept her from being so focused on the past.   Cricket is grateful for her sobriety as she navigates life and the grief and emotions that come with it. She recognizes now that she does not need alcohol to survive the hard times.   Cricket's parting pieces of guidance: Trust the process and take it one day at a time.     Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube  

Today we have Hannah. She is 35 years old, from Chapel Hill, NC and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 9th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:                                          Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   The new book This Is How We Quit is now available. Throughout the rest of 2026, $2 from every copy sold will be donated to Café RE.   Happy 12th Soberversary Paul!   [05:14] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that he first heard the quote "The opposite of addiction is connection" from author and speaker Johann Hari over ten years ago.   He feels this concept is so important in the recovery space. Paul gives us a couple of ideas to mentally explore and this whole concept is definitely an action item.   When it comes to finding your people, leverage sobriety. The camaraderie of sobriety rivals many groups. When it comes to finding your people, don't forget to find yourself. Start speaking kindly to yourself and think about not poisoning yourself with alcohol.   Another important connection is the one that we have with nature and the stars. This refers to the creatures and trees in your own backyards. If people aren't your cup of tea, getting a dog is a great opportunity for lots of love and connection.   [11:34] Paul introduces Hannah:   Hannah is 35 years old and lives in Chapel Hill, NC. She is an account specialist and has a 9-year-old blue tick hound named Dunphy.   Hannah grew up as the oldest of three children. They were all active in the church and in sports. Between church, sports and school, Hannah says she didn't drink much in high school. Just enough to become familiar with the party scene.   When Hannah was in college, she began binge drinking. Her drinking stayed this way until the loss of her best friend to a car accident when she was around age 23. She didn't want to talk to anyone about her grief, she chose to drink instead.   Hannah says she always had a mental timeline of when she would stop drinking. She had seen all of her friends get married, start having children and they would organically stop drinking. She assumed the same would happen for her when she got married in 2022.   Hannah found that getting married was not the magic solution and over time began to wonder if this was how she was going to be forever. She says she wasn't unhappy but just had the feeling of wanting more for herself.   In May 2024, Hannah found out she was pregnant and stopped drinking. She says it was miserable for her as her husband continued living their lifestyle and she didn't feel comfortable socializing like she had previously.   August 2024 was tough for Hannah. Her mother passed away and then two weeks later she learned that she would need to terminate her pregnancy due to some catastrophic health problems. Hannah says alcohol was the only thing that helped her shut her brain off, but that stopped working after a few months.   Hannah was with her family on a beach trip the following year and blacked out the first night and made a fool of herself, she says. She awoke the next morning to an intervention with her father and sister that led to her agreeing to go to rehab.     Hannah agreed to go to rehab for seven days. After the first few days, Hannah shifted from doing it for her family into doing it for herself and confirmed she would stay for the full 30 days. She felt real connection with the people there and for the first time realized she was an alcoholic. Rehab was a great experience for Hannah, and she began to feel hope for her future for the first time.   Hannah transitioned to sober living after 70 days at rehab. She got a sponsor with AA, and it was mandatory that she attend several meetings a week. Hannah says her relationship with her higher power is how she starts each day. It is where she finds her peace and joy and is where she puts all her fears and anxieties.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube  

Today we have Jordan. He is 35 years old from Las Vegas, NV and he took his last drink of alcohol on July 20th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:                                          Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Café RE – the social app for sober people   Today, we are celebrating the launch of the compilation book This Is How We Quit with a live event via Zoom. Everyone who registers for this free event will receive one free month of membership in Café RE. And throughout the rest of 2026, $2 from every copy sold will be donated to Café RE.   Coming in September, Café RE will be hosting Ditching the Booze: Emotions. It is a four-week live course, every Wednesday in September at 8pm Eastern   [02:51] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us a field guide to water. Yes, there is way more to it than just H2O. There are a lot of options out there and while many of the names are used interchangeably, there are actually differences.   Let Paul know which water you prefer to drink in the comments section on Spotify or comment on the RE Instagram page under this episode's post.   [07:12] Paul introduces Jordan:   Jordan is 35 years old, lives in Las Vegas, NV. Jordan is a field installation lead for a modular home company. He has two children and has been married for five years. For fun he enjoys skateboarding and spending time with his kids.   Jordan says he first started drinking when he was 15 years old spending summers in Detroit with a cousin that was 21. In high school, Jordan played football and says that it was normal to meet up at somebody's house after a game and drink.   When Jordan was 19, he got into the music industry as a rapper and songwriter. Drinking was part of that culture as well. Jordan found himself blacking out and frequently getting into fights. His mother confronted him about his drinking when he was 20 and told him he should go to AA. He disagreed and believed he could keep it under control.   Jordan was 23 when he began working in the concert industry as a stagehand and rigger. The schedule was hectic and drinking after a long night was the norm. Jordan's drinking began to cause him to get kicked off of tours with big artists.   In 2015, Jordan's grandfather died. For the next year, Jordan was able to limit his drinking. In between tours over the next year, his grandmother committed suicide. This led Jordan to quit his job and move back to Detroit where he was depressed and spending a lot of time alone.   A friend of Jordan's got him back in the tour business, but his drinking continued to create issues and fights he got into led to him losing work again. Jordan decided to move back to California. He didn't quit drinking and began using Xanax.   Jordan and his wife got together after she bought a puppy from him. After they had their daughter, Jordan began attempting to quit drinking by way of 75 Hard challenges. He was always ready to drink as soon as they were done, however.   In late 2024, a domestic dispute found Jordan going to jail. He tried to quit but didn't make it past 45 days. He says his drinking slowed down because he wouldn't let himself forget the night he went to jail.   Jordan was suffering from a bad hangover the morning he decided to quit. He told his wife that he couldn't do it anymore and while she had never told him to quit, she was pleased to hear that he was ready to.   Telling his wife was freeing. Each month she gets him chips to celebrate. Jordan began attending AA and went to meetings daily for the first four months. His friends have reacted encouragingly and one of them joined him in recovery after he reached 90 days.   Since quitting, Jordan has noticed the brain fog is gone, he has more gratitude for what he gets to do each day and has a lot more energy. He doesn't believe he will ever drink again. He looks forward to living a long healthy life with is family while being present for every moment.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.    

Today we have Mitchell. He is 30 years old, lives in Missouri, and he took his last drink on April 6th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:                                          Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   Next Monday, August 31st, we are celebrating the launch of the compilation book This Is How We Quit with a live event via Zoom. Everyone who registers for this free event will receive one free month of membership in Café RE.   Coming in September, Café RE will be hosting Ditching the Booze: Emotions. It is a four-week live course, every Wednesday in September at 8pm Eastern   [01:50] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares a YouTube video from Seth Capehart MD about The World's Most Encouraged Drug.   He gives a brief history of alcohol, that we have been consuming it for thousands of years as humans. It used to serve a vital purpose then, because fermented beverages with a low alcohol content were safer to drink than water. Eventually engineers figured out to provide clean drinking water, but the alcohol consumption stuck around.   The doctor shares what alcohol does to our bodies. It taxes the liver and wrecks our hormones. The doctor says if you were trying to create a hormonal environment that would make you fat, weak, and tired, alcohol would be perfect that. He says it's the most invisible, yet visible problem he's encountered in medicine.   The next time you find yourself romanticizing a drink, remember the statistics and how terribly it affects our body.      Alcohol was the most encouraged drug, but that's changing and you are part of it.   [08:35] Paul introduces Mitchell:   Mitchell is 30 years old, and lives in Missouri with his wife and three cats. For work, Mitchell is an RN and for fun he enjoys fitness, various types of gaming and is competing in his first triathlon.   Mitchell says that growing up, both of his parents were problem drinkers. He hated seeing his parents drunk and by the time he was 10 or 11, he swore he was never going to drink.   During a bout of depression when he was 18, Mitchell decided to try alcohol to numb the discomfort. He would drink in his room by himself and knew from the start it wasn't normal behavior.   When Mitchell went to college in 2015, he says his mental health had improved and the change in environment and meeting new people helped. His drinking looked different than his friends' and he chose to ignore the voice inside telling him he might have an issue. He was sober curious at times but wasn't ready to quit.   After graduating, Mitchell's work as a nurse enabled him to have a schedule for when he could drink. He got married in 2023 and Mitchell says it was clear that this wasn't a cycle he should continue now that there is another person in his life. She is a normal drinker and didn't understand Mitchell's desire to keep going after she was drinking after she was ready to stop. This created conflict for them.   Mitchell began to sneak drinks so that his wife wouldn't know that amount he was drinking and he was always ready to downplay the drinking when she brought it up.   When his brother-in-law announced that he was quitting after a rough night out, Mitchell decided to speak up and say he would join him. He didn't put a timeline on it, but by saying it out loud, Mitchell knew he would be able to stop for a little while. Having the accountability buddy was helpful and then his wife joined in to support them both.   On day nine, his father passed away from an alcohol-related illness. This solidified Mitchell's intention to stay sober, and he started looking for resources. He began listening to the RE podcast and reading quit lit. Not long after he began attending AA and got a sponsor to work the steps with. Mitchell feels fortunate to have a great support system both in and out of AA.   Mitchell's parting piece of guidance: Don't suffer in silence.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Dan. He is 44 years old from Denver, CO, and he took his last drink of alcohol in February of 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   Over the last six months, we have been working on a book called This is How We Quit. It is a compilation of 24 sobriety stories that will be released on August 31st, 2026. To coincide with the release, Recovery Elevator is doing a free online event to celebrate the launch. More details on that event are coming soon!   [03:15] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us his history with the guest today. They were close friends in high school; they played football together and drank plenty of beers at parties together. They lost communication over the years, but by happenstance and a lost wallet, they reconnected last year. Since then, they went on a trip to Sonora, Mexico to find reptiles and also went to their high school reunion together.   [05:49] Paul introduces Dan:   Dan is 44 years old, lives in Westminster, CO and took his last drink in February 2025. He was born and raised in Vail to wonderful parents and was close with his siblings. He is currently engaged and works in commercial construction sales. Dan enjoys spending time outside mountaineering, trail running and enjoying the arts. He recently rediscovered his love of reptiles and amphibians.   Dan says he was very shy and reserved growing up. He had his first drink right before freshman year of high school. He felt a sense of ease and that he could talk to people. He recalls thinking that this was the solution and how normal people must feel all the time. Through high school, Dan's drinking was minimal and he doesn't feel he ever was loss in control.   In college, Dan says his alcohol consumption went through the roof. Frequently drinking beers with friends at the dorms or at keg parties, Dan remembers the hangovers were pretty tough. He would focus on school during the week just waiting for Friday night. He felt the drinking was something he could control.   After graduating college, Dan went into the sales industry. He moved back to Vail and had a girlfriend and two roommates that he enjoyed drinking with. In the mid-2000's, Dan says the secrecy of his alcoholism began to rear its head. He was being told he drank too much. The signs were showing in his behavior, his hangovers were getting worse, he was missing work and other obligations. In 2007, Dan began working in a resort community in Dominican Republic. A few years later he began using other drugs in addition to drinking daily. He continuously would try to hide how much he was using until a coworker pushed him into treatment.     After a divorce, Dan moved to Denver and thought drinking might be different this time. He thought he should be able to have a pint with friends after work, but within a few weeks he was drinking in the mornings to avoid the shakes. After his first DUI, Dan was able to get and stay sober from 2019 until 2022.   Once again, he thought things would be different. Over the course of two years, Dan was in and out of mental health and rehab facilities. He struggled to keep a job and went through a second divorce.   In mid-February last year, Dan's neighbor called a friend to check on him. Dan was taken to the emergency room not knowing who his friend was or where he was. He was just trying to escape the hallucinations he was having; drinking was fun for him anymore.   Dan began going back to 12 step programs after this and started working hard on his recovery. Over the past year, he has found a great job, has a fiancé that doesn't drink but knows his history, has been able to help other friends with their addictions, spend more time in nature, and finally loves himself again.  Dan continues with his therapy and knows his story isn't over.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Art. He is 46 years old, from Wheat Ridge, CO and he took his last drink on November 28th, 2023.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   The Find Your People retreat in Bozeman, MT starts this Wednesday. There are still spots available if you want to join us.   Thank you to our sponsors of the upcoming retreat:   Sober Link – Alcohol Monitoring Rise Up Coffee – Yummy Coffee We ❤️ Better Rhodes – Solid selection of AF drinks Beaglepuss – NA Beers with STYLE Athletic Brewing Company Café RE – Alcohol-Free Community 🌟   [03:40] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us a post made in Café RE by a member named Brian. It explores the idea of romanticizing his drinking days and the transition to romanticizing NOT drinking.   It reminds us that the brain is powerful. It is a manifestation machine. Next time you become aware of the brain romanticizing the drink, flip it and start romanticizing your alcohol-free life. Sunsets, laughter, walks with your dog or a loved one at sunset, see it. Create that movie in your brain.   Romanticize the clarity, the still life, the clear head. Romanticize the morning after. Romanticize the real you. Romanticize the quiet, the peace, the presence. Romanticize staying in a hard moment without checking out. Romanticize connections with people who get you.   [06:32] Paul introduces Art:   Art is a Colorado native and currently lives in Wheat Ridge. For work he is a re-entry specialist who helps individuals that get out of prison get back on their feet. For fun, Art enjoys helping others, taking walks, and meditating.   Art says he began drinking with friends when he was around 14 to 15 years old. The would have parties on Tuesday nights because his father was out of town. It became very normalized to drink regularly.   In his 30's, Art started to recognize that he had an issue. He began drinking his collection of liquor with his partner, but over time found himself drinking solo often. When his collection was dwindling, he began buying shooters at the liquor store. A few years after this, he started drinking shooters at work during the day instead of just drinking at night. Art was still functioning but wasn't feeling great. Some days he needed to drink just to feel better.   After a domestic dispute, Art found himself with a DUI and unable to return home to his wife and kids. He moved in with his mom and says he gave up and started drinking his life away. This continued for several months.   The turning point for Art was at an IHOP breakfast with his dad when he was shaking so badly, he couldn't hold a spoon. Art confessed that he needed help. His dad took him to an inpatient treatment center for a three-day detox. Art started IOP classes after detox and says he fell in love with it. Once that was over, it was hard being on his own.   Art says that speaking to his dad about needing help felt good because he was able to be honest. All of his previous attempts at quitting taught him that he could not do it alone. The first few months were really difficult, and Art consistently gave himself two choices – he was either going to drink or not drink, and he always chose not to drink.   Art turned a corner when he realized he was able to be honest with himself and others, without any regrets or worries about what they are going to say about him. Art says the version of himself that he is now is who he wanted to be for so long. He is passionate about sharing his story with others and has noticed positive changes in his relationships since getting sober.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Amy. She is 43 years old, lives in Santa Ynez, CA and took her last drink of alcohol on May 25th, 2026.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   [01:52] Thoughts from Paul:   Everyone struggles with something and for you that may be alcohol. Paul's message for today isn't how to lessen that struggle. Instead, he wants you to accept it, own it and embrace it.   Unlike many other ailments, where the ideal outcome is to get back where you were, an alcohol addiction allows us to blow past that. We can not only heal from it, but we can be catapulted into a much healthier way of living. This time can be an intense chapter of growth, where you'll emerge with more depth and understanding of yourself and others when you hit the other side.   Be patient, trust the process, own it and befriend it. Turn your struggle into your greatest strength. Not many get to do that with their problems.     [05:30] Paul introduces Amy:   Amy is 43 years old, lives in Santa Ynez, CA, has four children and a variety of pets. She was a nurse for many years, but now just stays home and loves hiking.   Amy grew up in a family with two addicted parents. Her mother went into treatment for a year when Amy was six years old. Amy and her brother spent a lot of time in NA and AA meetings as kids and said it was traumatizing to hear all the stories about people's addictions but was grateful for her mother's sobriety.   Amy was 14 years old when she started drinking. Her mother was sober for about 10 years and then began drinking again. There were a lot of toxic family things happening and Amy ended up getting kicked out of her home at 16.   After getting pregnant at 17, Amy decided she was going to be a parent, put herself through nursing school and prove to everyone that she was not going to turn out like her parents. Around this time, she became friends with a woman who drank wine and made it look sophisticated and cool. They would have play dates for their kids and drink wine together.   In spite of getting a DUI when she was 20, Amy did not think her drinking was a problem. She didn't believe she needed to quit drinking, she just needed to quit drinking and driving. Amy met her husband and soon they moved to California and got married. Amy had two more kids back-to-back and this is when she realized that she looked forward to 5pm so that she could drink due to the stress of parenting.   After the birth of her fourth child, Amy and her husband hired an au pair to have some assistance with the kids while they both worked. Amy was friends with a group of people at work that she would go out with on Friday nights. Since she had an au pair, she was able to go out without accountability. At the same time, she had a friend with access to cocaine so Amy would use it in addition to drinking.   A close friend of Amy's was visiting and saw firsthand what she was doing. She offered to take Amy with her to Peru to participate in plant medicine. After coming home from this experience, Amy decided to put together some tools and chose to quit drinking for a year. When she started back and attempted moderation, it didn't go well and she realized it was easier to not have any drinks than to try and only have one.   Before quitting drinking again, Amy started doing meditation and practicing yoga. Eventually she started recognizing the incongruency of drinking heavily and doing healthy activities. Amy started playing the tape forward before social events and realized that she needed to quit for good.   Since quitting drinking this time, Amy has started listening to podcasts, has joined Reframe, meditates regularly, enjoys journalling and recently started The Artist's Way.   Amy's parting piece of guidance: stop drinking to make everyone else comfortable.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Shane. He is 45 years old, lives in Northern California, and he took his last drink on September 12th, 2013.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   It's not too late to join us in Bozeman, MT. The retreat is August 12th-16th. We have cabin and camping spots still available.   [01:08] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that he is having trouble moving on after his loss of Ben. There is still a pile of poop in his yard that he is not going to pick up. He reflects that over time; he knows it will eventually disappear as life moves on and so will he eventually.   Moving on from alcohol is hard too. Yes, there were fun times, great memories, but it turned and it's no longer serving us. As a community, we are all moving on.   As Odette said in episode 282 – you can miss drinking even though you don't want to drink anymore. Don't sweep the pain of losing alcohol under a rug, it needs to be grieved as it is the loss of a major life companion. But…we are moving on. And you are invited to join us.   [04:17] Paul introduces Shane:   Shane is from Northern California, is married and they have two children. He works full time in podcasting and communications, and for fun he enjoys playing golf, chess and fitness.   Shane says he grew up in an alcoholic household, and his parents were very young when they had him. Growing up he had a lot of resentments and anger towards his parents which he feels led him down the path to use alcohol and other drugs to escape.   After a baseball injury, Shane started playing in bands with aspirations of making it in the music business. Along with this came a lot of partying, drugs and alcohol which ended up being a big part of his twenties. In the back of his mind he knew he didn't want to live that way, but he ignored it.   Once they had their daughter, Shane began to realize that he was becoming everything that he never wanted to be. The last three years of his drinking progressed so quickly, Shane says, and drinking was such a normalized part of life.   The day of his last drink found Shane talking to his wife and letting her know that he needed help to quit drinking. He says the weight lifted off of his shoulders but then he instantly was concerned about the fact that there was no turning back.   With the help of his wife and their close friend who got sober, Shane went to inpatient rehab and says it saved his life. When he returned to work, he found himself commuting a lot and a friend introduced him to podcasts. Recognizing that there weren't a lot of sobriety podcasts, Shane decided to start his own.   The point of creating the podcast for Shane was to give a space where people could openly share. Shane encourages anyone that may think they have an issue with alcohol to find someone they trust and just open up about it. He believes that conversation creates connection and addiction is the opposite of connection.   Shane shares that the biggest gift that sobriety has given him is presence and being conscious. It has given him the ability to grow into his authentic self.   Shane's parting piece of guidance: Go for it. Jump in. Don't wait. You're not alone.   You can find Shane and all of the offerings he has on his website: That Sober Guy.       Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Becca. She is 35 years old, lives in Delaware County, PA, and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 7th, 2024.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   Check out this free guide to your first seven days without alcohol.   Registration for our sober travel trip to Morocco is open! This trip will take place March 3rd – 13th, 2027.   [02:25] Thoughts from Paul:   The most important thing that someone has to achieve or overcome if they are to quit drinking is denial. The very convincing inner voice that keeps telling you on repeat that you do not have a problem.   This is hard because we build our lives around alcohol and usually this is done unconsciously. The problem is often hiding in plain sight, and you just can't or choose not to see it. It's also hard because marketing is powerful and smart people are paid a lot of money to make you feel like it's a required sidecar to life.   So even though the addiction is hiding in plain sight, you also know it is there. You know how alcohol makes you feel. In addition to the voice saying you don't have a problem, there is another voice telling you, "I'll give you 50 more hangovers and then it's time to move on".   Next week, we'll talk more about moving on.   [06:23] Paul introduces Becca:   Becca is 35 years old, lives in Delaware County, PA, has two cats and 12-13 nieces and nephews. For fun, Becca enjoys hiking, music, reading, film, cooking and puzzles.    Becca was one of seven children growing up. Her older siblings liked to party, so Becca followed in their footsteps in her early teens. She drank and smoked pot for a few years before getting introduced to harder drugs when she was around 16. She quickly felt like she had cracked the code for getting through life. Becca says she was really naïve and spending time with bad people.   In 2010, Becca was in a car accident that left her badly injured. She was only 19 and says this was the lowest time of her life. She withdrew from opiates but ended up going back out before having a friend take her to rehab where she first attempted recovery and eventually got sober in 2012.   Becca dealt with the loss of several friends in 2013, and this is when excessive drinking sneaked into her life. She had another accident and DUI in 2014 and refused to believe that the drinking was a problem. She was able to quit when she went to school and believed that since she could quit for periods of time, that it wasn't an issue for her.   Becca believed that she should be able to control her drinking and would beat herself up whenever she wasn't. Her drinking slowed dramatically in 2019 because she was sick of the anxiety and how she was relating to herself. She did end up becoming a workaholic to avoid dealing with anything that was bothering her.   After staying sober through the pandemic, Becca began to use drinking as a way to connect with others and not drink by herself. Within a few weeks she was right back into self-loathing and trapped in the cycle of stops and starts for the next several years.   In 2024, Becca took a fall at work that has had lasting physical and emotional impacts. She went through another dark time where she wasn't showing up for herself or others and was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.   It was after six months of sobriety that Becca joined AA, found the RE podcast, and later joined Café RE. In her previous attempts at quitting, Becca was trying to do it by herself. Being part of community has been life-changing for her in that she feels acceptance and the ability to hear her story in others. This year she has finally started to feel safer in her nervous system, she is more grounded in herself and able to hold space for good things.   Becca's parting piece of guidance: Don't get stuck on the fear. Get out of that comfortable pain and embrace something new.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube