RE 603: The Opposite of Addiction is Still Connection

Today we have Hannah. She is 35 years old, from Chapel Hill, NC and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 9th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:                                          Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   The new book This Is How We Quit is now available. Throughout the rest of 2026, $2 from every copy sold will be donated to Café RE.   Happy 12th Soberversary Paul!   [05:14] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that he first heard the quote "The opposite of addiction is connection" from author and speaker Johann Hari over ten years ago.   He feels this concept is so important in the recovery space. Paul gives us a couple of ideas to mentally explore and this whole concept is definitely an action item.   When it comes to finding your people, leverage sobriety. The camaraderie of sobriety rivals many groups. When it comes to finding your people, don't forget to find yourself. Start speaking kindly to yourself and think about not poisoning yourself with alcohol.   Another important connection is the one that we have with nature and the stars. This refers to the creatures and trees in your own backyards. If people aren't your cup of tea, getting a dog is a great opportunity for lots of love and connection.   [11:34] Paul introduces Hannah:   Hannah is 35 years old and lives in Chapel Hill, NC. She is an account specialist and has a 9-year-old blue tick hound named Dunphy.   Hannah grew up as the oldest of three children. They were all active in the church and in sports. Between church, sports and school, Hannah says she didn't drink much in high school. Just enough to become familiar with the party scene.   When Hannah was in college, she began binge drinking. Her drinking stayed this way until the loss of her best friend to a car accident when she was around age 23. She didn't want to talk to anyone about her grief, she chose to drink instead.   Hannah says she always had a mental timeline of when she would stop drinking. She had seen all of her friends get married, start having children and they would organically stop drinking. She assumed the same would happen for her when she got married in 2022.   Hannah found that getting married was not the magic solution and over time began to wonder if this was how she was going to be forever. She says she wasn't unhappy but just had the feeling of wanting more for herself.   In May 2024, Hannah found out she was pregnant and stopped drinking. She says it was miserable for her as her husband continued living their lifestyle and she didn't feel comfortable socializing like she had previously.   August 2024 was tough for Hannah. Her mother passed away and then two weeks later she learned that she would need to terminate her pregnancy due to some catastrophic health problems. Hannah says alcohol was the only thing that helped her shut her brain off, but that stopped working after a few months.   Hannah was with her family on a beach trip the following year and blacked out the first night and made a fool of herself, she says. She awoke the next morning to an intervention with her father and sister that led to her agreeing to go to rehab.     Hannah agreed to go to rehab for seven days. After the first few days, Hannah shifted from doing it for her family into doing it for herself and confirmed she would stay for the full 30 days. She felt real connection with the people there and for the first time realized she was an alcoholic. Rehab was a great experience for Hannah, and she began to feel hope for her future for the first time.   Hannah transitioned to sober living after 70 days at rehab. She got a sponsor with AA, and it was mandatory that she attend several meetings a week. Hannah says her relationship with her higher power is how she starts each day. It is where she finds her peace and joy and is where she puts all her fears and anxieties.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube  

Today we have Jordan. He is 35 years old from Las Vegas, NV and he took his last drink of alcohol on July 20th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:                                          Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Café RE – the social app for sober people   Today, we are celebrating the launch of the compilation book This Is How We Quit with a live event via Zoom. Everyone who registers for this free event will receive one free month of membership in Café RE. And throughout the rest of 2026, $2 from every copy sold will be donated to Café RE.   Coming in September, Café RE will be hosting Ditching the Booze: Emotions. It is a four-week live course, every Wednesday in September at 8pm Eastern   [02:51] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us a field guide to water. Yes, there is way more to it than just H2O. There are a lot of options out there and while many of the names are used interchangeably, there are actually differences.   Let Paul know which water you prefer to drink in the comments section on Spotify or comment on the RE Instagram page under this episode's post.   [07:12] Paul introduces Jordan:   Jordan is 35 years old, lives in Las Vegas, NV. Jordan is a field installation lead for a modular home company. He has two children and has been married for five years. For fun he enjoys skateboarding and spending time with his kids.   Jordan says he first started drinking when he was 15 years old spending summers in Detroit with a cousin that was 21. In high school, Jordan played football and says that it was normal to meet up at somebody's house after a game and drink.   When Jordan was 19, he got into the music industry as a rapper and songwriter. Drinking was part of that culture as well. Jordan found himself blacking out and frequently getting into fights. His mother confronted him about his drinking when he was 20 and told him he should go to AA. He disagreed and believed he could keep it under control.   Jordan was 23 when he began working in the concert industry as a stagehand and rigger. The schedule was hectic and drinking after a long night was the norm. Jordan's drinking began to cause him to get kicked off of tours with big artists.   In 2015, Jordan's grandfather died. For the next year, Jordan was able to limit his drinking. In between tours over the next year, his grandmother committed suicide. This led Jordan to quit his job and move back to Detroit where he was depressed and spending a lot of time alone.   A friend of Jordan's got him back in the tour business, but his drinking continued to create issues and fights he got into led to him losing work again. Jordan decided to move back to California. He didn't quit drinking and began using Xanax.   Jordan and his wife got together after she bought a puppy from him. After they had their daughter, Jordan began attempting to quit drinking by way of 75 Hard challenges. He was always ready to drink as soon as they were done, however.   In late 2024, a domestic dispute found Jordan going to jail. He tried to quit but didn't make it past 45 days. He says his drinking slowed down because he wouldn't let himself forget the night he went to jail.   Jordan was suffering from a bad hangover the morning he decided to quit. He told his wife that he couldn't do it anymore and while she had never told him to quit, she was pleased to hear that he was ready to.   Telling his wife was freeing. Each month she gets him chips to celebrate. Jordan began attending AA and went to meetings daily for the first four months. His friends have reacted encouragingly and one of them joined him in recovery after he reached 90 days.   Since quitting, Jordan has noticed the brain fog is gone, he has more gratitude for what he gets to do each day and has a lot more energy. He doesn't believe he will ever drink again. He looks forward to living a long healthy life with is family while being present for every moment.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.    

Today we have Mitchell. He is 30 years old, lives in Missouri, and he took his last drink on April 6th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:                                          Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   Next Monday, August 31st, we are celebrating the launch of the compilation book This Is How We Quit with a live event via Zoom. Everyone who registers for this free event will receive one free month of membership in Café RE.   Coming in September, Café RE will be hosting Ditching the Booze: Emotions. It is a four-week live course, every Wednesday in September at 8pm Eastern   [01:50] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares a YouTube video from Seth Capehart MD about The World's Most Encouraged Drug.   He gives a brief history of alcohol, that we have been consuming it for thousands of years as humans. It used to serve a vital purpose then, because fermented beverages with a low alcohol content were safer to drink than water. Eventually engineers figured out to provide clean drinking water, but the alcohol consumption stuck around.   The doctor shares what alcohol does to our bodies. It taxes the liver and wrecks our hormones. The doctor says if you were trying to create a hormonal environment that would make you fat, weak, and tired, alcohol would be perfect that. He says it's the most invisible, yet visible problem he's encountered in medicine.   The next time you find yourself romanticizing a drink, remember the statistics and how terribly it affects our body.      Alcohol was the most encouraged drug, but that's changing and you are part of it.   [08:35] Paul introduces Mitchell:   Mitchell is 30 years old, and lives in Missouri with his wife and three cats. For work, Mitchell is an RN and for fun he enjoys fitness, various types of gaming and is competing in his first triathlon.   Mitchell says that growing up, both of his parents were problem drinkers. He hated seeing his parents drunk and by the time he was 10 or 11, he swore he was never going to drink.   During a bout of depression when he was 18, Mitchell decided to try alcohol to numb the discomfort. He would drink in his room by himself and knew from the start it wasn't normal behavior.   When Mitchell went to college in 2015, he says his mental health had improved and the change in environment and meeting new people helped. His drinking looked different than his friends' and he chose to ignore the voice inside telling him he might have an issue. He was sober curious at times but wasn't ready to quit.   After graduating, Mitchell's work as a nurse enabled him to have a schedule for when he could drink. He got married in 2023 and Mitchell says it was clear that this wasn't a cycle he should continue now that there is another person in his life. She is a normal drinker and didn't understand Mitchell's desire to keep going after she was drinking after she was ready to stop. This created conflict for them.   Mitchell began to sneak drinks so that his wife wouldn't know that amount he was drinking and he was always ready to downplay the drinking when she brought it up.   When his brother-in-law announced that he was quitting after a rough night out, Mitchell decided to speak up and say he would join him. He didn't put a timeline on it, but by saying it out loud, Mitchell knew he would be able to stop for a little while. Having the accountability buddy was helpful and then his wife joined in to support them both.   On day nine, his father passed away from an alcohol-related illness. This solidified Mitchell's intention to stay sober, and he started looking for resources. He began listening to the RE podcast and reading quit lit. Not long after he began attending AA and got a sponsor to work the steps with. Mitchell feels fortunate to have a great support system both in and out of AA.   Mitchell's parting piece of guidance: Don't suffer in silence.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Dan. He is 44 years old from Denver, CO, and he took his last drink of alcohol in February of 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   Over the last six months, we have been working on a book called This is How We Quit. It is a compilation of 24 sobriety stories that will be released on August 31st, 2026. To coincide with the release, Recovery Elevator is doing a free online event to celebrate the launch. More details on that event are coming soon!   [03:15] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us his history with the guest today. They were close friends in high school; they played football together and drank plenty of beers at parties together. They lost communication over the years, but by happenstance and a lost wallet, they reconnected last year. Since then, they went on a trip to Sonora, Mexico to find reptiles and also went to their high school reunion together.   [05:49] Paul introduces Dan:   Dan is 44 years old, lives in Westminster, CO and took his last drink in February 2025. He was born and raised in Vail to wonderful parents and was close with his siblings. He is currently engaged and works in commercial construction sales. Dan enjoys spending time outside mountaineering, trail running and enjoying the arts. He recently rediscovered his love of reptiles and amphibians.   Dan says he was very shy and reserved growing up. He had his first drink right before freshman year of high school. He felt a sense of ease and that he could talk to people. He recalls thinking that this was the solution and how normal people must feel all the time. Through high school, Dan's drinking was minimal and he doesn't feel he ever was loss in control.   In college, Dan says his alcohol consumption went through the roof. Frequently drinking beers with friends at the dorms or at keg parties, Dan remembers the hangovers were pretty tough. He would focus on school during the week just waiting for Friday night. He felt the drinking was something he could control.   After graduating college, Dan went into the sales industry. He moved back to Vail and had a girlfriend and two roommates that he enjoyed drinking with. In the mid-2000's, Dan says the secrecy of his alcoholism began to rear its head. He was being told he drank too much. The signs were showing in his behavior, his hangovers were getting worse, he was missing work and other obligations. In 2007, Dan began working in a resort community in Dominican Republic. A few years later he began using other drugs in addition to drinking daily. He continuously would try to hide how much he was using until a coworker pushed him into treatment.     After a divorce, Dan moved to Denver and thought drinking might be different this time. He thought he should be able to have a pint with friends after work, but within a few weeks he was drinking in the mornings to avoid the shakes. After his first DUI, Dan was able to get and stay sober from 2019 until 2022.   Once again, he thought things would be different. Over the course of two years, Dan was in and out of mental health and rehab facilities. He struggled to keep a job and went through a second divorce.   In mid-February last year, Dan's neighbor called a friend to check on him. Dan was taken to the emergency room not knowing who his friend was or where he was. He was just trying to escape the hallucinations he was having; drinking was fun for him anymore.   Dan began going back to 12 step programs after this and started working hard on his recovery. Over the past year, he has found a great job, has a fiancé that doesn't drink but knows his history, has been able to help other friends with their addictions, spend more time in nature, and finally loves himself again.  Dan continues with his therapy and knows his story isn't over.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Art. He is 46 years old, from Wheat Ridge, CO and he took his last drink on November 28th, 2023.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   The Find Your People retreat in Bozeman, MT starts this Wednesday. There are still spots available if you want to join us.   Thank you to our sponsors of the upcoming retreat:   Sober Link – Alcohol Monitoring Rise Up Coffee – Yummy Coffee We ❤️ Better Rhodes – Solid selection of AF drinks Beaglepuss – NA Beers with STYLE Athletic Brewing Company Café RE – Alcohol-Free Community 🌟   [03:40] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares with us a post made in Café RE by a member named Brian. It explores the idea of romanticizing his drinking days and the transition to romanticizing NOT drinking.   It reminds us that the brain is powerful. It is a manifestation machine. Next time you become aware of the brain romanticizing the drink, flip it and start romanticizing your alcohol-free life. Sunsets, laughter, walks with your dog or a loved one at sunset, see it. Create that movie in your brain.   Romanticize the clarity, the still life, the clear head. Romanticize the morning after. Romanticize the real you. Romanticize the quiet, the peace, the presence. Romanticize staying in a hard moment without checking out. Romanticize connections with people who get you.   [06:32] Paul introduces Art:   Art is a Colorado native and currently lives in Wheat Ridge. For work he is a re-entry specialist who helps individuals that get out of prison get back on their feet. For fun, Art enjoys helping others, taking walks, and meditating.   Art says he began drinking with friends when he was around 14 to 15 years old. The would have parties on Tuesday nights because his father was out of town. It became very normalized to drink regularly.   In his 30's, Art started to recognize that he had an issue. He began drinking his collection of liquor with his partner, but over time found himself drinking solo often. When his collection was dwindling, he began buying shooters at the liquor store. A few years after this, he started drinking shooters at work during the day instead of just drinking at night. Art was still functioning but wasn't feeling great. Some days he needed to drink just to feel better.   After a domestic dispute, Art found himself with a DUI and unable to return home to his wife and kids. He moved in with his mom and says he gave up and started drinking his life away. This continued for several months.   The turning point for Art was at an IHOP breakfast with his dad when he was shaking so badly, he couldn't hold a spoon. Art confessed that he needed help. His dad took him to an inpatient treatment center for a three-day detox. Art started IOP classes after detox and says he fell in love with it. Once that was over, it was hard being on his own.   Art says that speaking to his dad about needing help felt good because he was able to be honest. All of his previous attempts at quitting taught him that he could not do it alone. The first few months were really difficult, and Art consistently gave himself two choices – he was either going to drink or not drink, and he always chose not to drink.   Art turned a corner when he realized he was able to be honest with himself and others, without any regrets or worries about what they are going to say about him. Art says the version of himself that he is now is who he wanted to be for so long. He is passionate about sharing his story with others and has noticed positive changes in his relationships since getting sober.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Amy. She is 43 years old, lives in Santa Ynez, CA and took her last drink of alcohol on May 25th, 2026.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   [01:52] Thoughts from Paul:   Everyone struggles with something and for you that may be alcohol. Paul's message for today isn't how to lessen that struggle. Instead, he wants you to accept it, own it and embrace it.   Unlike many other ailments, where the ideal outcome is to get back where you were, an alcohol addiction allows us to blow past that. We can not only heal from it, but we can be catapulted into a much healthier way of living. This time can be an intense chapter of growth, where you'll emerge with more depth and understanding of yourself and others when you hit the other side.   Be patient, trust the process, own it and befriend it. Turn your struggle into your greatest strength. Not many get to do that with their problems.     [05:30] Paul introduces Amy:   Amy is 43 years old, lives in Santa Ynez, CA, has four children and a variety of pets. She was a nurse for many years, but now just stays home and loves hiking.   Amy grew up in a family with two addicted parents. Her mother went into treatment for a year when Amy was six years old. Amy and her brother spent a lot of time in NA and AA meetings as kids and said it was traumatizing to hear all the stories about people's addictions but was grateful for her mother's sobriety.   Amy was 14 years old when she started drinking. Her mother was sober for about 10 years and then began drinking again. There were a lot of toxic family things happening and Amy ended up getting kicked out of her home at 16.   After getting pregnant at 17, Amy decided she was going to be a parent, put herself through nursing school and prove to everyone that she was not going to turn out like her parents. Around this time, she became friends with a woman who drank wine and made it look sophisticated and cool. They would have play dates for their kids and drink wine together.   In spite of getting a DUI when she was 20, Amy did not think her drinking was a problem. She didn't believe she needed to quit drinking, she just needed to quit drinking and driving. Amy met her husband and soon they moved to California and got married. Amy had two more kids back-to-back and this is when she realized that she looked forward to 5pm so that she could drink due to the stress of parenting.   After the birth of her fourth child, Amy and her husband hired an au pair to have some assistance with the kids while they both worked. Amy was friends with a group of people at work that she would go out with on Friday nights. Since she had an au pair, she was able to go out without accountability. At the same time, she had a friend with access to cocaine so Amy would use it in addition to drinking.   A close friend of Amy's was visiting and saw firsthand what she was doing. She offered to take Amy with her to Peru to participate in plant medicine. After coming home from this experience, Amy decided to put together some tools and chose to quit drinking for a year. When she started back and attempted moderation, it didn't go well and she realized it was easier to not have any drinks than to try and only have one.   Before quitting drinking again, Amy started doing meditation and practicing yoga. Eventually she started recognizing the incongruency of drinking heavily and doing healthy activities. Amy started playing the tape forward before social events and realized that she needed to quit for good.   Since quitting drinking this time, Amy has started listening to podcasts, has joined Reframe, meditates regularly, enjoys journalling and recently started The Artist's Way.   Amy's parting piece of guidance: stop drinking to make everyone else comfortable.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Shane. He is 45 years old, lives in Northern California, and he took his last drink on September 12th, 2013.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   It's not too late to join us in Bozeman, MT. The retreat is August 12th-16th. We have cabin and camping spots still available.   [01:08] Thoughts from Paul:   Paul shares that he is having trouble moving on after his loss of Ben. There is still a pile of poop in his yard that he is not going to pick up. He reflects that over time; he knows it will eventually disappear as life moves on and so will he eventually.   Moving on from alcohol is hard too. Yes, there were fun times, great memories, but it turned and it's no longer serving us. As a community, we are all moving on.   As Odette said in episode 282 – you can miss drinking even though you don't want to drink anymore. Don't sweep the pain of losing alcohol under a rug, it needs to be grieved as it is the loss of a major life companion. But…we are moving on. And you are invited to join us.   [04:17] Paul introduces Shane:   Shane is from Northern California, is married and they have two children. He works full time in podcasting and communications, and for fun he enjoys playing golf, chess and fitness.   Shane says he grew up in an alcoholic household, and his parents were very young when they had him. Growing up he had a lot of resentments and anger towards his parents which he feels led him down the path to use alcohol and other drugs to escape.   After a baseball injury, Shane started playing in bands with aspirations of making it in the music business. Along with this came a lot of partying, drugs and alcohol which ended up being a big part of his twenties. In the back of his mind he knew he didn't want to live that way, but he ignored it.   Once they had their daughter, Shane began to realize that he was becoming everything that he never wanted to be. The last three years of his drinking progressed so quickly, Shane says, and drinking was such a normalized part of life.   The day of his last drink found Shane talking to his wife and letting her know that he needed help to quit drinking. He says the weight lifted off of his shoulders but then he instantly was concerned about the fact that there was no turning back.   With the help of his wife and their close friend who got sober, Shane went to inpatient rehab and says it saved his life. When he returned to work, he found himself commuting a lot and a friend introduced him to podcasts. Recognizing that there weren't a lot of sobriety podcasts, Shane decided to start his own.   The point of creating the podcast for Shane was to give a space where people could openly share. Shane encourages anyone that may think they have an issue with alcohol to find someone they trust and just open up about it. He believes that conversation creates connection and addiction is the opposite of connection.   Shane shares that the biggest gift that sobriety has given him is presence and being conscious. It has given him the ability to grow into his authentic self.   Shane's parting piece of guidance: Go for it. Jump in. Don't wait. You're not alone.   You can find Shane and all of the offerings he has on his website: That Sober Guy.       Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Becca. She is 35 years old, lives in Delaware County, PA, and she took her last drink of alcohol on August 7th, 2024.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   Check out this free guide to your first seven days without alcohol.   Registration for our sober travel trip to Morocco is open! This trip will take place March 3rd – 13th, 2027.   [02:25] Thoughts from Paul:   The most important thing that someone has to achieve or overcome if they are to quit drinking is denial. The very convincing inner voice that keeps telling you on repeat that you do not have a problem.   This is hard because we build our lives around alcohol and usually this is done unconsciously. The problem is often hiding in plain sight, and you just can't or choose not to see it. It's also hard because marketing is powerful and smart people are paid a lot of money to make you feel like it's a required sidecar to life.   So even though the addiction is hiding in plain sight, you also know it is there. You know how alcohol makes you feel. In addition to the voice saying you don't have a problem, there is another voice telling you, "I'll give you 50 more hangovers and then it's time to move on".   Next week, we'll talk more about moving on.   [06:23] Paul introduces Becca:   Becca is 35 years old, lives in Delaware County, PA, has two cats and 12-13 nieces and nephews. For fun, Becca enjoys hiking, music, reading, film, cooking and puzzles.    Becca was one of seven children growing up. Her older siblings liked to party, so Becca followed in their footsteps in her early teens. She drank and smoked pot for a few years before getting introduced to harder drugs when she was around 16. She quickly felt like she had cracked the code for getting through life. Becca says she was really naïve and spending time with bad people.   In 2010, Becca was in a car accident that left her badly injured. She was only 19 and says this was the lowest time of her life. She withdrew from opiates but ended up going back out before having a friend take her to rehab where she first attempted recovery and eventually got sober in 2012.   Becca dealt with the loss of several friends in 2013, and this is when excessive drinking sneaked into her life. She had another accident and DUI in 2014 and refused to believe that the drinking was a problem. She was able to quit when she went to school and believed that since she could quit for periods of time, that it wasn't an issue for her.   Becca believed that she should be able to control her drinking and would beat herself up whenever she wasn't. Her drinking slowed dramatically in 2019 because she was sick of the anxiety and how she was relating to herself. She did end up becoming a workaholic to avoid dealing with anything that was bothering her.   After staying sober through the pandemic, Becca began to use drinking as a way to connect with others and not drink by herself. Within a few weeks she was right back into self-loathing and trapped in the cycle of stops and starts for the next several years.   In 2024, Becca took a fall at work that has had lasting physical and emotional impacts. She went through another dark time where she wasn't showing up for herself or others and was just sick and tired of being sick and tired.   It was after six months of sobriety that Becca joined AA, found the RE podcast, and later joined Café RE. In her previous attempts at quitting, Becca was trying to do it by herself. Being part of community has been life-changing for her in that she feels acceptance and the ability to hear her story in others. This year she has finally started to feel safer in her nervous system, she is more grounded in herself and able to hold space for good things.   Becca's parting piece of guidance: Don't get stuck on the fear. Get out of that comfortable pain and embrace something new.   Recovery Elevator We took the elevator down. We got to take the stairs back up. We can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Rich. He is from Sacramento, CA, he is 60 years old and took his last drink on August 8th, 2025.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help   Registration opens on July 15th, 2026, for our sober travel trip to Morocco which is March 3rd – 13th, 2027.   [02:14] Thoughts from Paul:   If you are in early sobriety or find yourself on day one, your only job right now is to not drink. It isn't time to fix your whole life or worry about being productive and having it all figured out.   By staying honest with your #1 job of not drinking, the body will become incredibly productive in terms of healing. Your dopamine begins to rewire; your sleep system starts to re-balance. All while you are resting.   Even though we sometimes know that not drinking is our #1 job, we can still struggle to keep it this simple. The good news is that every day is a new opportunity to perfect the job and by doing so, everything else will fall into place. Trust the process.   [06:05] Paul introduces Rich:   Rich is 60 years old and lives in Sacramento, CA with his wife of 35 years. They have two grown children and two rat terriers to help fill the empty nest. For work, Rich is a salesman for an equipment company. For fun, Rich enjoys riding his Peloton bike, cooking, and he is an avid sports fan.   Rich reflects that a lot of his drinking came from his inability to control his emotions. He says his home life growing up was great, but there was no discussion or expression of emotions. He was bullied often when he was in junior high but didn't feel comfortable telling anyone about it.   On a few occasions throughout high school and college, Rich realized that alcohol helped him become the life of the party and be able to talk to people he wasn't normally friendly with. He learned that if he drank, he would be accepted and have friends.   After graduating college, Rich was working in the restaurant business as a bartender in a small beach town. He said he had a lot of fun, made a lot of money and met his wife there. After getting married, they started a restaurant that they ran together for several years. Rich says his drinking wasn't an issue at that point because the restaurant did not have a focus on alcohol.   Alcohol began becoming an issue for Rich in 2018 when he transitioned from a management position to a sales position that involved a lot of traveling and entertaining customers. Over time he was basing where he would stay on the location's proximity to a liquor store and would drink before and after meetings with customers.   After a while, Rich started recognizing that the bottle he bought at the beginning of the trips weren't lasting as long. He would try to moderate and quickly realized it was a problem doing so especially when COVID lockdown had him concerned that liquor stores were going to be closed. At this point, Rich says a lot of his drinking happened in isolation. He was withdrawing from friends and family and trying to hide how much he was drinking from his wife.   Rich was confronted by his wife a few times and always promised to work on his drinking with little luck. He attempted moderation with the help of an app but didn't make much success and says trying to moderate made him think about alcohol more. Eventually his wife called in reinforcements with their daughter, and Rich knew it was time to stop, but wasn't sure what that looked like.   Rich was able to quit that day. The detox symptoms were hard, but after 10 days, he began to feel better and sleep better. Rich began reading quit lit and utilizing apps and its resources. After six months, Rich's wife encouraged him to find community. As a listener of the RE podcast, Rich heard about Café RE and decided to join. Rich credits his family as being a valuable resource and motivation to stay sober.   Recovery Elevator You took the elevator down; you've got to take the stairs back up. You, WE, can do this.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube

Today we have Eric. He is 55 years old, lives in Columbus, OH and took his last drink on February 14th, 2008.   This episode is brought to you by:   Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help Sober Link sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus   Check out our upcoming Recovery Elevator Events. We have Bozeman next month, Morocco in March 2027 followed by a sober Camino de Santiago in October 2027.   [04:52] Thoughts from Paul:   The most important person in the rooms of recovery is not the person with 40 years of sobriety spouting off all the wisdom compiled over the years. It is the newcomer. The person in the room who shares the most truth, is the person who has the least amount of time from their last drink. To the new listener, the newcomer, we want to hear from you. Paul shares a personal experience where a newcomer gave him some of the best motivation he ever received.   The newcomer is also the most important person in the room because a core foundation of recovery is helping others. People in recovery want to help, and we encourage you to accept that help.   There are many other reasons why the newcomer is the most important. And if you're a new listener to Recovery Elevator, we are happy to have you. Stick around.   [08:38] Paul introduces Eric:   Eric is the podcast host of The One You Feed. He is 55 years old and lives in Columbus, Ohio with his partner of 10 years. He has one adult son who is a wildland firefighter. For fun, Eric enjoys playing guitar, walking, hiking, and reading.   Eric started drinking as a teenager, but it didn't really take off until he was around eighteen. Over the next seven years, Eric says he was rarely sober. He was just drinking alcohol initially, but his drug use progressed to where he says he was a homeless heroin addict facing 50 years in prison and weighed only 100 pounds.   Eric was sober for about eight years but ended up drinking again and leaving the recovery community. Eric says his brain told him that he could do it this time and it would be ok because he was different now. But he wasn't. The next rock bottom wasn't as bad as the first, but he was out of control just like before. After a five-day binge that left him feeling scared and sick, he went back to a 12-step meeting.   Eric says it was a gradual process getting sober the second time. He knew he was out of control because he would be saying "I'm not going to drink today" and then gets hammered, or "I'm only going to have two" and then gets hammered. He was not on board with going back into a 12-step program, so he joined the Moderation Management program and tried to control his drinking. What he learned was that trying to control his drinking was miserable.   Eric's life looked completely different on his second sobriety attempt. The first time he went into treatment after burning his life to the ground. This time he had a job, a child, and while he went to a meeting every day, he couldn't give his whole life to recovery like before. It was a little bit harder but soon cool things began to happen for Eric.   It has been 18 years since Eric had his last drink. He no longer thinks about drugs or alcohol at all and can easily be around it all without a thought. Recovery for him meant he needed to learn to understand how his mind and emotions worked and how to use them both more skillfully.   In this disconnected world, Eric shares several things he does that help him stay connected. Working on his podcast helps because he having conversations with others 2-4 times each week. He makes himself leave the house regularly and spend time with friends. He plans walks with friends and he also does coaching work.   Eric has recently published a book called How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life.   Recovery Elevator It all starts from the inside out. I love you guys.   Café RE RE Instagram Sobriety Tracker iTunes  RE YouTube