Stop Giving a F*ck: The Science Behind Approval Seeking Men and How to Escape It with Will Schneider, Jon Macaskill & Andy Riise

Why do you care so much about what other people think? In this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, hosts Jon Macaskill and Will Schneider sit down with Army veteran, mental performance coach, and Skull Sessions podcast host Andy Riise to dismantle the most quietly destructive pattern in men's lives — the approval trap. There's a name for what's running in the background of your decisions, and it isn't a character flaw. It's biology. It's called Fear of Negative Evaluation, and it's one of the most studied psychological patterns in clinical research.The guys break down why your brain literally cannot tell the difference between social rejection and physical pain, why the audience judging you is half the size you think, and how approval seeking shows up in ways most men never connect to the root cause — over-committing at work, constant reassurance seeking in relationships, buying your kids' affection, and still chasing approval from people who haven't been in your life for decades. Understanding it is the first step to breaking free.In this episode, you'll learn:What Fear of Negative Evaluation is and why every man is dealing with it whether he knows it or notThe spotlight effect and the Cornell research that proves you're performing for half the audience you thinkHow approval seeking silently destroys your career, your relationships, and your sense of selfWhat "ghosts" are — and how to identify whose voice is still running in your headWhy it's not about not caring — it's about choosing deliberately what deserves your carePractical tools you can use this week to start breaking free from the approval trapFollow Andy:Website: https://andyriise.comTEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbNLu7JcZNAPodcast: https://www.skullsessionspodcast.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andyriiseIf you've ever held back in a meeting, softened your opinion to keep the peace, or made a decision based on what someone else might think — this conversation will change the way you see yourself and the way you move through the world.Focus Now Training - helping leaders and teams build focus, resilience, and emotional control. Visit focusnowtraining.comSubscribe to Your Thursday Three Things — practical focus tools connected to each week’s episode.Free and deep-dive versions available:https://newsletter.focusnowtraining.comOr text MTM to 33777 and we’ll send the link straight to you.2026 Spartan Race Team:https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/spartan-race-2026More episodes & resources: https://mentalkingmindfulness.comIf this episode resonates, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with one man who's trying to hold it all together.This episode was co-produced by Robert Lopez of www.cratesaudio.comHosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Why does it feel harder than ever to focus?In this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, hosts Jon Macaskill and Will Schneider explore the hidden forces competing for your attention and why many people today feel mentally scattered, reactive, and drained.Modern technology, constant notifications, and the pressure to always stay connected have created an environment where attention is constantly pulled in different directions. What most people experience as a personal struggle with focus is often the result of living in an attention economy designed to capture and monetize your awareness.Jon and Will explain why attention is one of the most valuable assets we possess and why learning to direct it intentionally is essential for leadership, performance, and well-being.The conversation introduces the philosophy behind Focus Now Training, a system designed to help individuals train attention like a skill. Rather than relying on motivation or discipline alone, the practice focuses on strengthening awareness, recognizing distraction, and returning attention to what matters most.In this episode, you’ll learn:• Why focus feels harder than ever in the modern world• How the attention economy competes for your awareness• Why attention is the foundation of leadership and decision-making• How distraction affects stress, productivity, and relationships• Practical ways to begin strengthening focus in daily lifeIf you’ve ever found yourself constantly checking your phone, jumping between tasks, or feeling mentally exhausted despite being busy, this conversation offers a new perspective on why it happens and what you can do about it.Training your attention may be the most important skill you develop.Subscribe to Your Thursday Three Things — practical focus tools connected to each week’s episode.Free and deep-dive versions available:https://newsletter.focusnowtraining.comOr text MTM to 33777 and we’ll send the link straight to you.Join the Men Talking Mindfulness team at the 2026 Spartan Race and take mindfulness into real-world challenge. This is about grit, presence, and brotherhood under pressure. Learn more and join the team here:https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/spartan-race-2026More episodes & resources:https://mentalkingmindfulness.comMental fitness & coaching with Will:https://willnotfear.comBook Jon to speak with your team:https://jonmacaskill.comIf this episode resonates, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with one man who’s trying to lead without losing himself.This episode was co-produced by Robert Lopez of www.cratesaudio.comHosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Multiple sclerosis resilience isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about choosing strength when your body forces change.In this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, Jim shares how a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis shattered his identity — and rebuilt it stronger. Multiple sclerosis resilience became the framework that helped him drop ego, reject victim mentality, and push his physical and mental limits in ways he never imagined.Instead of collapsing into “why me,” Jim chose discipline. Instead of clinging to status or past success, he chose growth. This conversation explores how multiple sclerosis resilience is forged through ownership, endurance training, and a refusal to let suffering define you.You’ll hear:• How ego amplifies suffering• Why victim mentality quietly destroys potential• The difference between pain and identity• How endurance challenges reveal hidden strength• Why pushing limits develops clarity and purpose• How chronic illness can deepen self-understandingThis episode is for the man who feels knocked down — by illness, career, or circumstance — and wants to rebuild without self-pity.Learn more from Jim Perona:• Website: https://www.jimperona.com/ • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jimperonaofficial/ • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimperonaofficial/ • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jimperonaofficial/ • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@jimperonaofficial Subscribe to Your Thursday Three Things — practical focus tools connected to each week’s episode.Free and deep-dive versions available:https://newsletter.focusnowtraining.comOr text MTM to 33777 and we’ll send the link straight to you.Join the Men Talking Mindfulness team at the 2026 Spartan Race and take mindfulness into real-world challenge. This is about grit, presence, and brotherhood under pressure. Learn more and join the team here:https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/spartan-race-2026More episodes & resources:https://mentalkingmindfulness.comMental fitness & coaching with Will:https://willnotfear.comBook Jon to speak with your team:https://jonmacaskill.comIf this episode resonates, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with one man who’s trying to lead without losing himself.This episode was co-produced by Robert Lopez of www.cratesaudio.comHosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Why men shut down emotionally isn’t about weakness — it’s about conditioning. In this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, PhD and former Navy SEAL Commander Mark Divine joins Will Schneider and Jon Macaskill to unpack why men shut down emotionally under pressure, and how real strength is built through awareness — not suppression.As a Navy SEAL leader and founder of Unbeatable Mind, Mark has trained thousands of leaders in mental toughness, emotional discipline, and warrior mindset development. But in this conversation, he goes deeper — into emotional avoidance, masculine identity, and the cost of shutting down in relationships.Why men shut down emotionally often begins in environments where control is survival. Over time, emotional control morphs into emotional suppression. Mark explains the difference — and why suppression quietly erodes connection, intimacy, and leadership clarity.You’ll hear:• The difference between emotional mastery and emotional avoidance• How elite SEAL training shaped Mark’s understanding of stress and awareness• Why high-performing men confuse shutdown with strength• How breath training regulates nervous system reactivity• What integrated strength looks like in leadership and marriageLearn more from Mark Divine, PhD and former Navy SEAL Commander:Website: https://markdivine.com/Unbeatable Mind: https://unbeatablemind.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markdivine/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@markdivineofficialSubscribe to Your Thursday Three Things — practical focus tools connected to each week’s episode.Free and deep-dive versions available:https://newsletter.focusnowtraining.comOr text MTM to 33777 and we’ll send the link straight to you.Join the Men Talking Mindfulness team at the 2026 Spartan Race and take mindfulness into real-world challenge. This is about grit, presence, and brotherhood under pressure. Learn more and join the team here:https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/spartan-race-2026More episodes & resources:https://mentalkingmindfulness.comMental fitness & coaching with Will:https://willnotfear.comBook Jon to speak with your team:https://jonmacaskill.comIf this episode resonates, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with one man who’s trying to lead without losing himself.This episode was co-produced by Robert Lopez of www.cratesaudio.comHosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Executive burnout isn’t just about being tired. Executive burnout is about running your mental battery into the red while everyone else depends on you. Executive burnout is what happens when productivity becomes identity and rest feels like weakness.In this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, Will Schneider and Jon Macaskill sit down with Calm CEO David Ko to unpack executive burnout from the inside out.David shares what executive burnout actually looks like at the highest levels of leadership — from C-suite overwhelm to silent anxiety and the pressure of performance. He explains why 48% of executives report feeling overwhelmed and nearly half consider quitting — even when they look successful on paper.You’ll hear:• Why executive burnout costs organizations billions• The “mental battery” framework and how to monitor your energy• Why vulnerability is a leadership strength — not a liability• The real cost of sleep deprivation in high performers• Why checking email before bed fuels executive burnout• How to create tech boundaries without losing productivity• The link between mental health and physical health• Why men struggle to talk about well-being — and how to change itDavid also shares practical tools leaders can use immediately:Water. Window. Walk.Breath resets.Energy-based scheduling.Sleep discipline.This conversation speaks directly to high achievers, entrepreneurs, executives, veterans, and driven men who feel like they can’t slow down.If you’ve ever wondered:Why am I exhausted even when I’m winning?Why can’t I turn work off at night?Why does success still feel draining?This episode is for you.Follow David Ko & Calm:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/davidkocalmLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/david-koCompany: https://www.linkedin.com/company/calmWebsite: https://www.calm.com/Sponsor:Peptides for Health by Mark L. Gordon, M.D. is a two-volume series exploring the science and clinical application of therapeutic peptides.Medical Edition Vol. 1 Release: December 22, 2025Consumer Edition Vol. 1 Release: January 20, 2026Discount Code: PFH25Medical Edition Offer Window: Dec 20, 2025 – Jan 31, 2026Consumer Edition Offer Window: Jan 20 – Feb 20, 2026Proceeds support the Children of Veterans Program.Preview both editions: https://tbihelpnow.org/biohack-yourselfMore episodes, Resources & Spartan Race: https://mentalkingmindfulness.comMental fitness & coaching with Will: https://willnotfear.comBook Jon to speak with your team: https://jonmacaskill.comIf this episode resonates, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with one man who’s trying to hold it all together.This episode was co-produced by Robert Lopez of www.cratesaudio.comHosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

¿Qué significa realmente ser un “buen chico”… y por qué ese enfoque suele llevar a frustración, resentimiento y relaciones rotas? En este episodio de Men Talking Mindfulness, conversamos con el Dr. Robert Glover, autor del influyente libro No More Mr. Nice Guy, para explorar el síndrome del buen chico, la masculinidad sana, los contratos encubiertos, la validación externa y cómo muchos hombres pierden autenticidad intentando evitar el conflicto. Hablamos sobre: Masculinidad saludable e integrada Por qué “ser agradable” no es lo mismo que ser auténtico Límites, honestidad y dirección personal Relaciones, sexualidad y presencia emocional Cómo dejar de vivir para la aprobación externa 👉 Este episodio fue traducido al español utilizando inteligencia artificial de Riverside. La traducción es generada por IA para ampliar el acceso al contenido y puede no reflejar palabra por palabra la grabación original en inglés. Si eres un hombre que quiere dejar de complacer a todos, recuperar su centro y vivir con más claridad, propósito y honestidad… este episodio es para ti. 🔗 Más información: https://mentalkingmindfulness.com What does it really mean to be a “nice guy”… and why does that pattern so often lead to resentment, burnout, and broken relationships? In this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, we sit down with Dr. Robert Glover, author of the bestselling book No More Mr. Nice Guy, to unpack the Nice Guy Syndrome, healthy masculinity, covert contracts, external validation, and why so many men lose themselves trying to avoid conflict. We discuss: Healthy and integrated masculinity Why people-pleasing isn’t the same as kindness Boundaries, honesty, and self-direction Relationships, sexuality, and emotional presence How to stop living for approval and start living authentically 👉 This episode has been translated using Riverside’s AI-powered translation tools. The translation is AI-generated to improve accessibility and may not perfectly match the original English recording. If you’re ready to stop playing small, reclaim your voice, and live with clarity and purpose, this conversation is essential listening.Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Curiosity in mindfulness is one of the most effective tools men have for breaking free from rumination—the endless replaying of conversations, mistakes, and imagined outcomes that keeps the nervous system stuck in stress.In this solo episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, Will Schneider explores how curiosity in mindfulness helps men notice rumination without feeding it. Instead of trying to stop thoughts or force calm, curiosity creates space to observe mental loops with awareness, allowing the nervous system to settle naturally.Will breaks down why rumination isn’t a thinking problem—it’s a regulation issue. When men feel under pressure, overwhelmed, or emotionally charged, the mind searches for certainty by looping. Curiosity interrupts this pattern by shifting attention from judgment to observation.Throughout the episode, Will explains how curiosity in mindfulness helps men step out of overthinking, reconnect with the body, and return to presence without shutting down. You’ll hear how curiosity softens self-judgment, why trying to “let go” often backfires, and how staying curious builds emotional regulation and self-trust.This episode is for men who feel stuck in their heads, replay conversations, or struggle to stop thinking—even when they want peace. Curiosity in mindfulness offers a grounded, practical way to relate differently to thoughts, stress, and inner pressure without forcing change.Sponsor:Peptides for Health by Mark L. Gordon, M.D. is a two-volume series exploring the science and clinical application of therapeutic peptides.Medical Edition Vol. 1 Release: December 22, 2025Consumer Edition Vol. 1 Release: January 20, 2026Discount Code: PFH25Medical Edition Offer Window: Dec 20, 2025 – Jan 31, 2026Consumer Edition Offer Window: Jan 20 – Feb 20, 2026Proceeds support the Children of Veterans Program.Preview both editions: https://tbihelpnow.org/biohack-yourselfLinks & ResourcesJoin the Men Talking Mindfulness team at the 2026 Spartan Race and take mindfulness into real-world challenge. This is about grit, presence, and brotherhood under pressure. Learn more and join the team here: https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/spartan-race-2026More episodes & resources: https://mentalkingmindfulness.comMental fitness & coaching with Will: https://willnotfear.comBook Jon to speak with your team: https://jonmacaskill.comIf this episode resonates, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with one man who’s trying to hold it all together.This episode was co-produced by Robert Lopez of www.cratesaudio.comHosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

What happens when an 18-year-old says out loud what most adults are afraid to admit?In this episode of Men Talking Mindfulness, Will Schneider and Jon Macaskill sit down with Carter Helbig—the youngest guest in the show’s history and the voice behind a viral graduation speech that reached millions.Carter speaks openly about grief, suicide loss, gratitude, and growing up under constant pressure. Through his own story, he reminds us of a simple but powerful truth: you always have a choice in how you show up for other people.Together, they explore how silence, comparison, and social media algorithms are shaping young men’s mental health—and why choosing kindness, presence, and responsibility still matters, even when life feels heavy.In this episode, you’ll hear:• Why “you always have a choice” became the core of Carter’s message• How grief and gratitude can exist at the same time• Why you never know what someone is carrying• The danger of assuming malice instead of humanity• How social media pressure impacts Gen Z men• Why asking for help is an act of strength• What fathers, mentors, and leaders can do to make young men feel seenIf you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, disconnected, or unsure how to show up for others, this conversation is a reminder that small choices still matter.Sponsor:Peptides for Health by Mark L. Gordon, M.D. is a two-volume series exploring the science and clinical application of therapeutic peptides.Medical Edition Vol. 1 Release: December 22, 2025Consumer Edition Vol. 1 Release: January 20, 2026Discount Code: PFH25Medical Edition Offer Window: Dec 20, 2025 – Jan 31, 2026Consumer Edition Offer Window: Jan 20 – Feb 20, 2026Proceeds support the Children of Veterans Program.Preview both editions: https://tbihelpnow.org/biohack-yourselfLinks & ResourcesJoin the Men Talking Mindfulness team at the 2026 Spartan Race and take mindfulness into real-world challenge. This is about grit, presence, and brotherhood under pressure. Learn more and join the team here: https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/spartan-race-2026More episodes & resources: https://mentalkingmindfulness.comMental fitness & coaching with Will: https://willnotfear.comBook Jon to speak with your team: https://jonmacaskill.comIf this episode resonates, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with one man who’s trying to hold it all together.This episode was co-produced by Robert Lopez of www.cratesaudio.comHosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

AI meditations are everywhere right now—apps, chatbots, VR headsets promising calm in 10 minutes or less—but are AI meditations actually helping guys handle real stress, or just giving you one more screen to hide behind? In this episode, we get real about AI meditations, digital mindfulness, and whether any algorithm can truly replace a human teacher who sees you, feels the room, and knows when you’re about to lose it. We sit down with guest expert Steve Haberlin, PhD, to explore the intersection of technology, meditation, and human awareness. Steve has spent years studying both traditional mindfulness practices and emerging tech—AI, virtual reality, and digital training tools—and asking hard questions about where mindfulness is headed.Together, they unpack what technology can genuinely support in mindfulness practice—and what it can’t. They discuss the difference between guided experiences and embodied learning, why attention and nervous system regulation still require human relationship, and how men can engage technology without outsourcing responsibility for awareness.This episode isn’t anti-tech. It’s pro-discernment.In this conversation, you’ll hear:• The rise of AI-guided meditation and VR mindfulness tools• What technology can accelerate—and what it cannot replace• Why embodiment and nervous system regulation matter more than insights• The risk of mistaking consumption for practice• How real teachers differ from algorithms• Where mindfulness is likely headed in the next decade• How men can use tech without avoiding responsibility or presenceIf you’re curious about meditation apps, AI tools, or the future of mindfulness—but want grounded perspective instead of hype—this episode offers clarity.You’ll walk away with:✅ A realistic understanding of AI’s role in mindfulness✅ Language to evaluate meditation tools critically✅ A clearer sense of what real practice requires✅ Perspective on presence in an increasingly digital worldSponsor:Peptides for Health by Mark L. Gordon, M.D. is a two-volume series exploring the science and clinical application of therapeutic peptides.Medical Edition Vol. 1 Release: December 22, 2025Consumer Edition Vol. 1 Release: January 20, 2026Discount Code: PFH25Medical Edition Offer Window: Dec 20, 2025 – Jan 31, 2026Consumer Edition Offer Window: Jan 20 – Feb 20, 2026Proceeds support the Children of Veterans Program.Preview both editions: https://tbihelpnow.org/biohack-yourselfLinks & ResourcesJoin the Men Talking Mindfulness team at the 2026 Spartan Race and take mindfulness into real-world challenge. This is about grit, presence, and brotherhood under pressure. Learn more and join the team here: https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/spartan-race-2026More episodes & resources: https://mentalkingmindfulness.comMental fitness & coaching with Will: https://willnotfear.comBook Jon to speak with your team: https://jonmacaskill.comIf this episode resonates, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with one man who’s trying to hold it all together.Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

En este episodio en solitario de Men Talking Mindfulness, US Navy SEAL, Jon Macaskill deja atrás la conversación y entra en la honestidad silenciosa de estar solo, hablando directamente a hombres que saben cargar con la responsabilidad… pero que la cargan solos.Este episodio explora la mentira de la autosuficiencia: cómo ser capaz, disciplinado y confiable puede parecer fortaleza por fuera, pero poco a poco drenar la conexión, la presencia y la salud emocional por dentro.Jon comparte reflexiones personales de su propia vida —el matrimonio, el liderazgo, el servicio militar y la paternidad— y nombra patrones que muchos hombres nunca cuestionan: mantenerse ocupados en lugar de ser honestos, gestionar en lugar de conectar, y confundir la resistencia con la verdadera fortaleza.Escucharás por qué la autosuficiencia funciona… hasta que deja de hacerlo.Por qué la soledad no siempre se ve como aislamiento.Y por qué muchos hombres no se quiebran… simplemente se aplanan.En este episodio, Jon explora:• Por qué la autosuficiencia es elogiada, recompensada y rara vez cuestionada• Cómo los hombres altamente funcionales pierden poco a poco el acceso emocional sin darse cuenta• La diferencia entre ser autosuficiente y estar emocionalmente cerrado• Cómo el control, la ocupación constante y el “estoy bien” se convierten en estrategias de supervivencia• Por qué pedir ayuda no es debilidad, sino conciencia de capacidad• Pequeños cambios realistas que no requieren convertirse en alguien que no eresEste episodio no trata de arreglar a los hombres ni de desmontar la masculinidad.Se trata de decir la verdad… y de ofrecer una manera de dejar de cargar con todo en soledad.Si eres un hombre que sigue funcionando, sigue proveyendo, sigue cumpliendo… pero se siente distante, irritable o silenciosamente agotado, este episodio es para ti.Te llevarás:Lenguaje para entender qué es lo que realmente estás cargandoPermiso para dejar de confundir resistencia con saludHerramientas simples de conciencia que interrumpen el patrón a tiempoUn recordatorio de que la conexión no requiere colapsarEnlaces y recursosÚnete al equipo de Men Talking Mindfulness en la Spartan Race 2026 y lleva la atención plena a un desafío del mundo real. Esto se trata de determinación, presencia y hermandad bajo presión. Más información y registro aquí:https://mentalkingmindfulness.com/spartan-race-2026Más episodios y recursos: https://mentalkingmindfulness.comFitness mental y coaching con Will: https://willnotfear.comReserva a Jon para hablar con tu organización: https://jonmacaskill.comSi este episodio conecta contigo, sigue el programa, deja una calificación y reseña, y compártelo con un hombre que necesite escucharlo.Este episodio fue coproducido por Robert Lopez de https://www.cratesaudio.com/Hosted on Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.