SHOPPING WHILE IMPAIRED

AT THE SPEED OF NEWS What's it like to wade through a viper filled swamp, oozing with aviation fuel, dead bodies, and trigger happy deputies? I've done it. What's it like chasing a sex offender through a business, making him say he's sorry to his victims while his coworkers watch in utter disbelief? Guilty as charged! My Name is Andy Cordan. I'm an Emmy award winning TV reporter. I've been shot at and spit on. I've chased corrupt officials and maniacal felons. I have argued with producers, fought with news directors and outwitted fellow reporters on the front lines. Sausage tastes good, but do you really want to know what it is made of? From fake news to celebrity news; I've covered it all. At the Speed of News takes you behind the crime tape where you'll hear the wails of a momma. It takes you to the editorial meetings where one man can dictate what a million people will see on TV.  At the Speed of News peels back the broadcasting onion. It entertains, educates and gives news viewers a greater appreciation for the news product they watch and think they know. Click on the link below, or look for it at the Amazon Book Store by searching Andy Cordan and At the Speed of News. AT THE SPEED OF NEWS https://www.amazon.com/At-Speed-News-Andy-Cordan-ebook/dp/B08YX3WX3M

With the cold weather moving in, and the days growing shorter and darker, I remember a recent trip to paradise. KEY WEST. I landed in Fort Lauderdale, rented a convertible and drove down to the southernmost point of the United States. As I was driving I though about the magnificence of  this engineering success. A beautiful highway surrounded by aqua marine waves. It's 113 miles long, built in 1938. It rises high over the Atlantic ocean at points, affording me a vista that stretches to that place where the sky and the ocean meet in a single filament of time and space on the horizon.

A ROCK GOD IS DEAD.  He was timeless fury. He was finger plucking magic. EVH was a revolutionary music man who made the guitar his bitch and slayed a generation with power chords and signature solos. Van Halen signified a time in my life when everything was plausible.  Now Eddie Van Halen has passed away, and a rock nation mourns. Like millions, I have memories that will live forever.  Rest In Eruption EVH

SHOPPING WHILE IMPAIRED (S.W.I) we've all done. it. You stop in the local super market to get one item. But you make the mistake of grabbing a cart, and the next thing you know, you're buying a riding mower and a side of beef. I remember just such an SWI moment after an NCAA basketball upset.  I should have gone home.  Instead I found my self reading cheese packages in aisle 9

Remember a time before COVID 19 when we use to go to the theater and see a film. Remember the lights fading down and the music fading up and the chill that went down your spine as you munched on your pop corn and sipped your big gulp. Well back in the day, I saw the 9th film by Quentin Tarantino, ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD.  I wrote about the film after viewing it. As per usual, I found the story a little self indulgent.  See what you think. 

America is angry. America is polarized. America is agitated and unwilling to listen to the other side. It's like a divorce where nobody will get divorced. Instead of going our separate ways and moving on, we stay in our secured camp of race, religion, politics and even covid mask persuasion. We have to learn to tolerate each other and live with one another, but everyone is crazy.

When you are young and dumb and college student broke, camping in the woods in a tent near the ski hill sounds like a great idea. That is until, everyone else goes home to their ski chalet to clean up for a night of fun, and you retire to the woods like a racoon in a frozen dumpster.  This is the story of 2 dumb guy's will to ski on the cheap. Instead of sleeping with a snow bunny, we bedded down with a frozen pound of burger thatt would never thaw.

WHEN A PET STORE OWNER PLEDGED TO EAT DOG FOOD FOR A MONTH, VIEWERS OF YOU TUBE AND VARIOUS NEWS OUTLETS COLLECTIVELY GAGGED

NATHAN'S HOT DOG EATING CONTEST IS A 4TH OF JULY TRADITION AND JOEY CHESTNUT IS ONCE AGAIN THE GREATEST EATER IN THE WORLD IT IS NAUSEATING AND DISGUSTING. IT'S A SOGGY, SLURPY, SLOW MOTION DIGESTIVE TRAIN WRECK

MOON UNIT.  BRONKS MOWGLI.  JER MAJESTY.  These are just a handful of the insipid names given to tiny babies by stupid parents.  Gone are the days of John and Jill.   Why name your child Bob or Barbara when you can name them a scientific formula like Elon Musk. And God Forbid you name your kid Karen.