502 – Milkshakes of Despair (Maximum Security, Part 2 of 2)

In which t’ieves and assassins dress to impress; Bishop returns; Rogue and Carol Danvers have a moment; and the revolution will be stored on compact disc.

In which an event begins; Earth is problematic; the Phoenix Force is an unreliable narrator; Max Power just wants to make safer party drugs; and we miss Opal Tanaka.

In which we sure did that.

In which we meet some delightful monsters; Cannonball is a man who knows how to wear overalls; Domino is the Leslie Knope of X-Force; red liquid babies deserve love, too; and not all British authors know each other.

In which the Twisted Sisters are vanquished by water; there is no way to make Stryfe cool; and the X-Men fight a hurricane.

In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland. X-PLAINED: The Black Womb Project X-Men Forever #1-3 Prosh Several custom-grown people A motley crew of mutants (and one human) Cataclysm keys The assassination of Graydon Creed Several poignant reunions The cosmic construction worker (Death) Why the Phoenix Force chose Jean Grey How much continuity is too much continuity Pyro’s romance novels NEXT EPISODE: The rest of the series! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).