773: Confidence is Many Times Borrowed Before It's Built

How you introduce yourself can shape how others see you and how confidently you see yourself. In this episode of the High Performance Mindset Podcast, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff sits down with executive communication coach Dr. Andrea Wojnicki, founder of Talk About Talk and author of one of Harvard Business Review's most downloaded articles, "A Simple Way to Introduce Yourself." Andrea shares her simple Present, Past, Future framework for introducing yourself with confidence and clarity. She explains why your self-introduction is one of the most direct ways to communicate your personal brand and how getting clear on your unique strengths can build confidence from the inside out. You'll learn: The Present, Past, Future framework for a powerful self-introduction How to communicate your strengths without feeling arrogant or overly self-promotional Why "unique is better than better" How to identify the strengths that genuinely distinguish you Why enthusiasm can be a competitive advantage The Four P's of Confidence: Practice, Pep Talk, Proverb, and Pirate How greater clarity about who you are can strengthen your confidence and self-esteem Andrea also shares practical advice for networking, interviews, presentations, and other high-pressure moments when how you communicate matters most. When you stop trying to be everything and start getting clear on what makes you uniquely valuable, confidence becomes easier to communicate and easier to feel. Episode Resources & Links Andrea's website: https://www.talkabouttalk.com/ Mentally Strong Institute: https://mentallystronginstitute.com/ Request a Free Mental Breakthrough Call: https://freementalbreakthroughcall.com/ Download the National Confidence Research Study: https://confidencestudy.com/ Order Cindra's new Book: https://www.confidencetools.com/

Sometimes, you need to borrow someone else's belief in you until you build enough belief in yourself. In this episode, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff shares how the people around us can shape what we believe is possible. She reflects on how her father believed in her interest in sport and performance psychology before she could fully see the path herself, allowing her to "borrow" his confidence. Cindra explains why confidence is social and why building your winning team matters. The people who have your ear can strengthen your belief, remind you what you're capable of, and help quiet your inner critic when you're pursuing something difficult. In this episode, you'll learn how to: • Identify the people who truly believe in you • Borrow their words when your inner critic gets loud • Surround yourself with a winning team that strengthens your confidence • Become a "confidence lender" by telling others what you see in them • Use someone else's belief as a bridge toward believing in yourself Cindra also challenges you to think of someone who believed in you before you believed in yourself. Thank them, then look for someone in your own life who might need to borrow a little confidence from you today. Power Phrase: "I believe in you, and I believe in me."   To order The Confidence Habit, visit: www.confidencetools.com To download our full study report, visit: confidencestudy.com To request a Free Breakthrough Call with a Mentally Strong Coach, visit: freementalbreakthroughcall.com To learn more about the Mentally Strong Institute, visit: mentallystronginstitute.com To learn about Dr. Cindra Kamphoff's speaking and coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com To follow Dr. Cindra on Instagram, visit: @cindrakamphoff

In this episode of The High Performance Mindset, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff sits down with Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, one of the world's most influential leadership thinkers, a renowned executive coach, and #1 New York Times bestselling author, to explore what keeps successful people growing. For more than four decades, Marshall has coached many of the world's most accomplished CEOs and leaders. In this conversation, he shares what those experiences have taught him about leadership, confidence, behavior change, achievement, and creating a life that is meaningful on your own terms. Episode Description Success can create one of the biggest obstacles to continued growth: when a behavior has helped us succeed in the past, we assume it must still be serving us. Marshall explains why high performers can become trapped by "winning too much," adding too much value, and needing to prove they are right. He shares a simple question that can change the way we lead and communicate: "Is it worth it?" Cindra and Marshall also explore the relationship between confidence and courage, why we need to stop putting ourselves into limiting identity boxes, and how becoming more influential can be an act of service when your mission is to positively impact others. Marshall also challenges the belief that achievement will eventually create happiness. Instead, he encourages us to define what "enough" means, find meaning in what we do, invest in the people we love, and focus on the action directly in front of us rather than becoming consumed by the outcome. This conversation is packed with practical wisdom for leaders, coaches, athletes, and high performers who want to continue growing while building a life they are proud to live. You'll Learn: Why the best coaching requires courage, humility, and discipline. How past success can reinforce behaviors that eventually hold you back. Why "winning too much" is one of the most common problems among successful people. How asking "Is it worth it?" can make you a better leader and communicator. Why confidence and courage are so closely connected. How the identity you repeatedly give yourself can prevent lasting behavior change. Why your behavior should be guided by your mission rather than your comfort. How to stop tying your identity and happiness to achievement and outcomes. Why focusing on the "next play" helps high performers stay present. Marshall's advice for living a life your 95-year-old self would be proud of. Episode Resources & Links Marshall's website: https://www.marshallgoldsmith.com/ Mentally Strong Institute: https://mentallystronginstitute.com/ Request a Free Mental Breakthrough Call: https://freementalbreakthroughcall.com/ Download the National Confidence Research Study: https://confidencestudy.com/ Order Cindra's new Book: https://www.confidencetools.com/

Today's episode is a special bonus from our recent Confidence Summit, which brought together nine professional speakers, entrepreneurs, and world-class athletes to share practical strategies for developing confidence. In this episode, you'll hear two powerful conversations with Olympians Paul Juda and Kendell Williams about what it takes to trust yourself when the pressure is highest. Paul Juda is an Olympic bronze medalist who helped Team USA earn its first Olympic men's gymnastics team medal in 16 years at the Paris Olympic Games. A standout at the University of Michigan, Paul is an NCAA all-around champion, multiple-time NCAA individual champion, and helped lead the Wolverines to an NCAA national championship. Kendell Williams is a two-time Olympian and elite multi-event track athlete. She made NCAA history as the first woman to win four consecutive titles in the same event at the NCAA Indoor Track and Field Championships and has competed successfully at the collegiate, Olympic, and World Championship levels. Their experiences reveal an important truth about confidence: it is built long before the defining moment. Paul shares how he moved away from trying to look confident and instead focused on creating evidence that he was prepared. After falling short of the 2021 Olympic team, he became more intentional about his mental reps, visualization, preparation, and learning to trust his process. That work eventually helped him perform under enormous pressure as Team USA captured an historic bronze medal in Paris. Kendell experienced her own confidence battle heading toward the Tokyo Olympics. After the pandemic disrupted training and competition, self-doubt started affecting the way she practiced, competed, and thought about herself. She shares the mental tools she used to rebuild her confidence, including stopping automatic negative thoughts, using Learn-Burn-Return to move forward from mistakes, creating a "fitness bank" of evidence that she was prepared, using power phrases, and shifting her attention toward controllable process goals. When her first day at the Tokyo Olympics didn't go as planned, those tools helped her reset, return confidently on day two, and climb to a fifth-place finish. In this episode, you'll learn: Why Paul believes real confidence is quiet and built through preparation. How trying to appear confident can create additional pressure. Why mental reps matter alongside physical preparation. How visualization helped Paul prepare for the biggest moments of his career. How Kendell uses Learn-Burn-Return to recover quickly from mistakes. How to interrupt automatic negative thoughts before they damage your confidence. Why building a bank of evidence can remind you how prepared you really are. How power phrases can strengthen your self-talk in high-pressure moments. Why process goals can reduce anxiety around outcomes. How bronze, silver, and gold goals can help you pursue excellence while staying grounded. Why confidence ultimately comes from doing the work required to trust yourself. These conversations originally appeared as part of Cindra's Confidence Summit, featuring nine speakers, entrepreneurs, and world-class athletes. You can also get access to the complete 4.5-hour Confidence Summit as a bonus when you purchase Cindra's new book, The Confidence Habit.   Pre-order The Confidence Habit: https://www.confidencetools.com/

Today's episode is a special bonus from our recent Confidence Summit, where nine professional speakers, entrepreneurs, and world-class athletes came together to share their best strategies for building lasting confidence. In this episode, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff sits down with entrepreneur, author, and creator Evan Carmichael. Evan runs a YouTube channel for entrepreneurs with more than 3 million subscribers and 500 million views. He has written four books and speaks around the world about entrepreneurship, content, and building a meaningful brand. Confidence doesn't always arrive before you take the next step. Evan shares how, as an introvert, he struggled for years to feel comfortable creating videos, speaking publicly, and putting his ideas into the world. It took hundreds of videos before he could even watch himself without immediately focusing on everything he thought he was doing wrong. Instead of waiting until he felt confident, he kept taking action. Evan explains why one of the most powerful ways to move through fear is to shift your attention away from yourself and toward the person you can help. When fear of judgment, criticism, or failure starts holding you back, focusing on service gives you a reason to keep moving. Cindra and Evan also discuss fear of other people's opinions, the language we use when something feels difficult, asking for help, and why the areas where we lack confidence can often point toward our greatest opportunities for growth. The message is simple: someone needs what you have to share. You don't have to reach everyone. Start by helping one person. In this episode, you'll learn: Why confidence often disappears when we step into something new. How Evan kept creating despite years of self-doubt and discomfort on camera. Why focusing on service can help you move through fear. How fear of other people's opinions keeps us from taking opportunities. Why asking for help can accelerate confidence and growth. How the language you use around difficult situations influences your willingness to act. Why your next level often requires action before you feel completely ready. How helping one person can make a scary step feel worthwhile. This interview originally appeared as part of Cindra's Confidence Summit, featuring nine speakers, entrepreneurs, and world-class athletes. You can also get access to the complete 4.5-hour Confidence Summit as a bonus when you purchase Cindra's new book, The Confidence Habit.   Evan's Website: https://believe.evancarmichael.com/homepage Mentally Strong Institute: https://mentallystronginstitute.com/ Request a Free Mental Breakthrough Call: https://freementalbreakthroughcall.com/ Download the National Confidence Research Study: https://confidencestudy.com/ Pre-order The Confidence Habit: https://www.confidencetools.com/

The right feedback doesn't tear people down. It shows them how to rise. In this short episode, Cindra explains why simply telling someone what they did wrong rarely helps them improve. Effective feedback gives people a clear direction and helps them believe they can do better next time. Purposeful feedback focuses on specific behaviors, explains what to do differently, and gives the person something practical to work on. Before giving feedback, ask yourself: What specific behavior am I observing? What do I want them to do differently next time? How can I communicate this in a way that helps them believe they can improve? Whether you are leading a team, coaching an athlete, mentoring someone, or parenting, your words can strengthen confidence or slowly chip away at it. This Week's Power Phrase "My words help people grow."   To watch the replay of The Confidence Summit, visit: theconfidencesummit.com(opens in new tab) To pre-order The Confidence Habit, visit: www.confidencetools.com To download our full study report, visit: confidencestudy.com(opens in new tab) To request a Free Breakthrough Call with a Mentally Strong Coach, visit: freementalbreakthroughcall.com(opens in new tab) To learn more about the Mentally Strong Institute, visit: mentallystronginstitute.com(opens in new tab) To learn about Dr. Cindra Kamphoff's speaking and coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com(opens in new tab) To follow Dr. Cindra on Instagram, visit: @cindrakamphoff

Leadership is often framed around qualities like authenticity, empathy, and vulnerability. Larry Coval believes effective leadership ultimately depends on something more practical: the skills and behaviors required to help other people succeed. In this episode, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff speaks with Larry, a seasoned business executive, leadership strategist, and founder of Arcane Leadership Concepts. After nearly four decades leading people and organizations, Larry wrote the leadership manual he wishes he had received when he first became a supervisor at 23. Larry explains why many leaders are unprepared for today's workplace, including the challenges created by hybrid teams, increasingly diverse workforces, and artificial intelligence. He also introduces the ARCANE model, a continuous process leaders can use to recognize their shortcomings, commit to meaningful change, and become more effective for the people they lead. In this episode, you'll learn: Why leadership should be viewed as a set of learnable skills and behaviors How the ARCANE model helps leaders identify and address performance gaps What business leaders can learn from the way sports coaches observe and develop people Why delegation should be used as a developmental tool How leaders can approach performance improvement plans more effectively Why AI represents a shift in the skills employees need rather than clear evidence of a widespread jobs collapse How leaders can better support hybrid and diverse teams Episode Resources & Links Lary's Website: https://arcaneleadership.com/ Mentally Strong Institute: https://mentallystronginstitute.com/ Request a Free Mental Breakthrough Call: https://freementalbreakthroughcall.com/ Download the National Confidence Research Study: https://confidencestudy.com/ Pre-order The Confidence Habit: https://www.confidencetools.com/

What if confidence doesn't come before action, but because of it? In this episode, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff challenges one of the biggest myths about confidence: that you need to feel ready before you take the next step. Whether you're considering a new opportunity, preparing for a difficult conversation, or pursuing a meaningful goal, waiting for doubt to disappear can keep you stuck. Cindra shares a simple mindset shift: Decide. Act. Feel. Instead of waiting for confidence to arrive, take one small courageous action and allow confidence to grow from the evidence you create along the way. In this episode, you'll learn: Why confident people still experience doubt and uncertainty How the Decide. Act. Feel. approach can help you move forward Why making your next courageous step smaller can reduce hesitation How taking action gives your brain evidence that you can do hard things A simple question to help you stop waiting and start moving Power Phrase: "I don't have to feel ready. I just have to take the next step." To watch the replay of The Confidence Summit, visit: theconfidencesummit.com(opens in new tab) To download our full study report, visit: confidencestudy.com(opens in new tab) To request a Free Breakthrough Call with a Mentally Strong Coach, visit: freementalbreakthroughcall.com(opens in new tab) To learn more about the Mentally Strong Institute, visit: mentallystronginstitute.com(opens in new tab) To learn about Dr. Cindra Kamphoff's speaking and coaching, visit: cindrakamphoff.com(opens in new tab) To follow Dr. Cindra on Instagram, visit: @cindrakamphoff(opens in new tab)

In this episode of The High Performance Mindset, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff sits down with Gary John Bishop, New York Times bestselling author of Unfuk Yourself* and his newest book, Now What?: You, Your Life, and the Truth You've Been Avoiding, to explore what happens when you've done the work, gained the insight, and still find yourself stuck. Gary challenges our constant drive to fix, improve, and understand ourselves. He explains how we can spend years gathering insight while continuing to live from the same stories, explanations, and internal dialogue. Real change begins when we recognize that our thoughts and feelings do not have to determine what we do next. Throughout the conversation, Gary shares why being present means being "here for what's here," how the language we use can create the world we experience, and why responsibility gives us greater freedom and choice. He also explains how to stop treating your internal state as a compass and start exploring what becomes possible when you choose your actions differently. Gary and Cindra discuss navigating setbacks, stepping outside the pressure to constantly become better, and creating a life based on who you choose to be. His simple question, "Now what?", creates space to move beyond old explanations and see possibilities that may have been hidden before. This conversation is a powerful invitation to acknowledge the noise in your head, get present to the life in front of you, and recognize how much say you have in what comes next. You'll Learn: Why gaining more insight can sometimes keep you stuck How the endless pursuit of self-improvement can limit what you believe is possible What it means to be "here for what's here" Why your thoughts and emotions do not have to determine your actions How the language you use shapes the possibilities you can see Why being stuck often involves repeating the same conversations and decisions How taking unconditional responsibility can create greater freedom What to do when your inner critic shows up How to respond differently when facing setbacks, uncertainty, or pressure Why asking "Now what?" can help you move beyond your past and create what comes next Episode Resources & Links Gary's Website: https://garyjohnbishop.com/ Mentally Strong Institute: https://mentallystronginstitute.com/ Request a Free Mental Breakthrough Call: https://freementalbreakthroughcall.com/ Download the National Confidence Research Study: https://confidencestudy.com/ Pre-order The Confidence Habit: https://www.confidencetools.com/

Episode Intro In this episode of The High Performance Mindset, Dr. Cindra Kamphoff sits down with Kelly Ruta, private advisor to high-performing women, former clinical psychotherapist, and expert in emotional agility, to explore why emotional agility may be the missing skill behind sustained success. Drawing on more than 20 years as a psychotherapist and over a decade advising entrepreneurs, executives, and professional athletes, Kelly shares how psychological skills help people perform under pressure without sacrificing their well-being. Together, they discuss why confidence, resilience, and emotional regulation are no longer "soft skills," but essential skills for thriving in today's high-pressure world. Episode Description Pressure is inevitable. The question is whether you react automatically or respond intentionally. In this conversation, Kelly explains why emotional agility is one of the most powerful psychological skills we can develop. She breaks down how learning to recognize emotions, pause before reacting, and choose responses aligned with our values creates stronger leadership, greater confidence, and more consistent performance. Dr. Cindra and Kelly also discuss why emotions provide valuable information without needing to dictate our behavior. The conversation explores what the research shows about psychological skills training, including why organizations that invest in mental readiness consistently outperform those that don't. Kelly shares why so many high achievers reach success only to discover they still feel overwhelmed or unfulfilled, and how developing emotional agility closes that hidden skill gap. Listeners will also learn practical tools, including the Sacred Pause, to build greater awareness and respond more effectively when the stakes are high. Whether you're an athlete, leader, entrepreneur, coach, or parent, this episode is a reminder that confidence and high performance begin by learning to lead yourself first. You'll Learn: Why emotional agility is one of the most important psychological skills for sustained high performance. What emotional agility is and how it differs from simply managing emotions. How to recognize the difference between reacting automatically and responding intentionally. Discover why emotions are valuable data but should not become your decision maker. Learn how practicing the Sacred Pause helps improve emotional awareness and self-regulation. Build greater confidence by aligning your responses with your values instead of your triggers. Strengthen your ability to perform under pressure by developing psychological skills that reduce the likelihood of choking. Understand what the research shows about why organizations and teams that invest in mental readiness see stronger long-term performance. Episode Resources & Links Guest Website: kellyruta.com Mentally Strong Institute: https://mentallystronginstitute.com/ Request a Free Mental Breakthrough Call: https://freementalbreakthroughcall.com/ Download the National Confidence Research Study: https://confidencestudy.com/ Pre-order The Confidence Habit: https://www.confidencetools.com/