302: She Didn't Think Sex Could Be for Her - A Sextimony

She didn't think sex could be for her. In this honest conversation, Faith shares her journey from seeing sex as transactional, to walking away from it after finding Jesus, to struggling with disconnected, obligation-based intimacy in marriage. But something shifted. She began to understand that intimacy could be connective, meaningful—and even for her, too. If you've ever felt like sex is something you do rather than something you enjoy, this episode will resonate. You'll learn how she: moved out of "duty sex" and into real connection started identifying what she actually enjoys began experiencing intimacy in a whole new way A powerful story of healing, growth, and what's possible in marriage. Resources from the episode:  Our Men's and Women's Cohorts are starting May 12! Seats are limited, so grab your spot today!

This is Part 2 of a special two-part series exploring the difference between having sex and making love. If you haven't listened to Episode 300 yet, go start there—it lays the foundation for everything we talk about in this episode. In this episode, we move from understanding the difference… to learning how to actually create more meaningful, connected intimacy in your marriage. You'll hear from: Dr. Alexandra Stockwell on shifting from transactional sex to deeply relational intimacy Trevor Hanson on attachment, safety, and why slowing down changes everything Aly Bullock on communication, nervous system regulation, and building connection outside the bedroom We talk about: Why sex doesn't always need to be deeply emotional to be good How to move out of "checkbox sex" into something more connected The role of safety, vulnerability, and communication Why what happens outside the bedroom matters most This episode is about learning how to bring more heart, presence, and connection into your relationship—one small moment at a time. More about our guests: Dr. Alexandra Stockwell is an intimate marriage expert and the host of  The Intimate Marriage Podcast and the author of Uncompromising Intimacy. Trevor Hanson's mission is to help people with an anxious attachment style become secure. You can find him on Instagram and his website.   Aly Bullock is a licensed marriage and family therapist and communication coach and has reached millions with her widely-followed Instagram account.  Resources and Events: We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. Get ready for our men's and women's groups starting up again in May!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

This episode is a special one—episode 300. That feels really meaningful to me. I'm grateful you listen, share the podcast, and care enough about your marriage to keep showing up for these conversations. I really do celebrate you and your commitment to building a strong, intimate, passionate marriage. For this milestone episode, I wanted to do something a little different. So I turned it into a personal research project around a question I've been pondering for a long time: 👉 What's the difference between having sex… and making love? In this episode (Part 1), I reached out to trusted experts and mentors to hear their perspective—and what they shared genuinely changed how I think about intimacy in marriage. You'll hear from: Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife on desire, freedom, and why we lose "aliveness" in long-term relationships Dr. Chelom Leavitt on emotional connection as the strongest predictor of sexual satisfaction Adam & Karissa King on moving from transactional sex to truly knowing and being known This isn't just about sex. It's about: Meaning Connection Desire And the kind of intimacy that makes a marriage feel alive again Don't miss Part 2 (Episode 301), where we continue this conversation with three more voices and perspectives. More about our guests: Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is the author of a book, That We Might Have Joy, she offers amazing online courses, and has an exciting in-person events coming up this summer.  Dr. Chelom Leavitt is a world-renowned sex researcher and has many helpful resources on her website about mindfulness in sexuality, relationships, teaching kids about sex, and more. Adam and Karissa King, better known online by the brand Dear Young Married Couple, teach courses, host a podcast, and provide many resources, especially for newly married couples. They are also in the process of releasing a new book.   Resources and Events: We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. Get ready for our men's and women's groups starting up again in May!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

In this episode, I respond to a vulnerable question from a wife navigating desire differences, purity culture, and a husband who seems to always want more—more novelty, more frequency, more intensity. If you've ever felt like: You're not "enough" sexually Your spouse is never satisfied Sex has become a source of pressure instead of connection …this episode is for you. We'll talk about: The three core drivers of sexual desire Why anxiety can increase desire in one spouse and decrease it in the other The "try-sexual" dynamic  How ego can quietly sabotage intimacy What true sexual maturity actually looks like This isn't about doing more, but becoming more mature, grounded, connected and intentional. Resources Episode 101: Overcoming Roadblocks to Intimacy & Sexual Desire (mentioned in the episode) 👉 Join our exclusive Men's Only and Women's Only groups starting in May! They are limited to 10 people each, so check them out before they're gone. 👉 We're cruising in the fall, and we currently have ONE spot left. Make it yours!

What if low libido, fatigue, brain fog, mood changes, or sexual dysfunction aren't just "part of getting older"? In this episode, Dan talks with family nurse practitioner Shelly Wilkinson about hormones, libido, insulin resistance, and the role whole-body health can play in sexual wellness. Shelly shares her personal story, what led her into hormone education, and why she believes many men and women are missing an important piece of the puzzle when it comes to energy, desire, and long-term health. They talk about common signs of hormone imbalance, what questions to ask when seeking help, why libido issues are often more complex than we think, and how physical health and relational health can work together to improve intimacy. If you're in midlife and noticing changes in energy, mood, desire, or sexual function, this conversation (and the one just previous to this epsiode in this mini series) will help you navigate the next steps. In this episode, you'll hear: Why low libido may not be only a relationship issue Common symptoms that can point to hormone concerns The connection between hormones, energy, and sexual health Questions to ask before working with a hormone provider Why both spouses may need to look at their health, not just one How physical wellness can support emotional and sexual intimacy Check out more about Shelly and her clinic here: http://wasatchmedicalspa.com   Resources and Events: We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. Get ready for our men's and women's groups starting up again in May! We have one more spot available on our cruise! We'd love to have you join us!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Low libido, erectile dysfunction, hormone imbalance, and sexual frustration in marriage are often treated like isolated problems. But what if they're actually connected to something much bigger? In this episode of the Get Your Marriage On! Podcast, Dan sits down with Dr. Jerry Dugger to talk about the link between physical health and sexual health. They discuss testosterone, estrogen, cortisol, thyroid, gut health, inflammation, sleep, stress, and why the body has to be understood as a whole system. You'll also hear practical insights on how better health habits can improve desire, energy, confidence, and connection in marriage.   Resources and Events: We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. Get ready for our men's and women's groups starting up again in May! We have one more spot available on our cruise! We'd love to have you join us!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  

What does your nervous system have to do with your sex life? More than you might think. In this episode, Dan sits down with nervous system specialist Morgan Starr-Riestis, who explains why feeling safe in your body is one of the most important ingredients for great intimacy. Many couples assume sexual problems are about technique, desire differences, or communication. But often the real issue is something deeper: our nervous systems are stuck in fight, flight, or shutdown. Morgan shares how our bodies are wired for safety, how dysregulation can show up in the bedroom, and why learning to regulate yourself can dramatically change your intimate connection. You'll learn: • Why safety is the foundation of pleasurable sex • The difference between actual safety vs perceived safety • How shame, pressure, and expectations dysregulate the body • Simple daily practices that help regulate your nervous system • Why trying too hard to orgasm can sometimes make it harder • How to identify the underlying need behind recurring relationship patterns Morgan also shares practical exercises couples can try right away to build safety and connection in everyday moments. If sex sometimes feels stressful, pressured, or emotionally loaded, this episode will help you understand what your body is trying to tell you—and how to work with it instead of against it. You can find Morgan on all socials with the handle @mind.psy.guidance Resources and Events: We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. For a limited time, you can try it free for 30 days and get access to coaching sessions and our full course library. We also have an opening due to a cancellation at our upcoming couples retreat, and one more spot available on our cruise! We'd love to have you join us!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Marriages rarely fall apart because of one big moment—they erode through small daily disconnections. In this episode, Dan sits down with author Lindsay Maestes to talk about how couples can rebuild connection, overcome sexual shame, and create a stronger marriage through intentional daily habits. They discuss faith and sexuality, emotional labor, foreplay outside the bedroom, and why openness and vulnerability are essential for great intimacy. Plus, Lindsay shares a fun "black belt" sex tip to help couples add novelty and excitement to their relationship. Resources and Events: We invite you to explore our Get Your Marriage On coaching program. For a limited time, you can try it free for 30 days and get access to coaching sessions and our full course library. We also have an opening due to a cancellation at our upcoming couples retreat, and one more spot available on our cruise! We'd love to have you join us!   Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

In this episode, I sit down with my friend Jacqlin — published author and romance reader — to talk about something I've wanted to explore for a long time: how writing intimate stories can deepen connection in marriage. We talk about: Why erotic writing can feel more vulnerable than sex The difference between sharing your body and sharing your private thoughts How to overcome fear of rejection Practical scaffolding and ideas for writing your first spicy story Boundaries, motivation, and what NOT to do Why your "why" matters more than the spice level Jacqlin even shares a sample story at the end of the episode (with a content warning), so you can hear how tenderness and connection can coexist with passion. If you've ever wondered: Where do I even start? Is this appropriate in marriage? What if my spouse rejects it? Could this actually bring us closer? This episode will give you clarity and courage. Sex isn't just about bodies. It's about inviting your spouse into the private parts of your mind and heart. And that can be transformative. 👉 Download the Intimately Us app for access to more stories like this. 👉 Join us on the Get Your Marriage On Cruise this October. 👉 Try our coaching program free for 30 days. 👉 Snag the last-minute opening for our Spring Couples Retreat.

In this bonus Q&A episode, I tackle some of the most vulnerable and complex sexual questions couples are asking right now. We talk about: Anal play and whether certain acts are morally wrong Masturbation inside marriage — especially when your spouse is available What to do when teasing doesn't lead to follow-through How to talk dirty without feeling dirty Stepping into sexual confidence when your spouse wants more intensity Low desire that won't budge — even after trying everything And the painful dynamic of feeling like you're never "enough" Here's the core principle: Sex acts themselves are often neutral. What matters is the fruit they produce in your marriage. Is it building trust? Intimacy? Freedom? Playfulness? Or is it creating shame, pressure, resentment, or disconnection? This episode will help you think more deeply, talk more honestly, and navigate your sexual relationship with maturity and integrity. If you want deeper support, don't forget to check out the Get Your Marriage On Program — including our coaching community and 30-day free trial.   Mentioned in the episode: Get Your Marriage On Dirty Talk Guide (From Awkward to Arousing: A Guide to "Dirty Talk" for Christians) Episode #91: How to Talk Dirty Without Feeling Dirty or Awkward    SPECIAL OPPORTUNITY: Someone cancelled and now we have a spot open for you at our previously sold out spring retreat! Grab it now before it's gone!