199: How to Banish Fear, Anxiety, and Boredom for a Thriving Sex Life

We've come to our fourth and final Sextember podcast episode! It's been a great month culminating in this week's spicy topic. And the whole reason behind Sextember and these types of episodes is to illustrate how important it is that you add variety and novelty to your intimate marriage. This is how you keep it vital for the longterm. Recently someone reached out to our private Get Your Marriage On Facebook group (which, by the way, if you're not a member of, I highly recommend you join):  "My wife wants to spice things up in the bedroom. She's saying we should do more sex positions, but I have no idea where to start." Well, this podcast episode is for you and everyone like you in a similar situation! We've had sex position illustrations (very tastefully drawn) in the Intimately Us app for about two years now, and it's a fantastic source of inspiration and creativity for many couples who have looked at those and use them. Another feature that we have in that app is that users can rate and review their favorite positions.  So I'm presenting for you today, the top 10 sex positions rated in the Intimately Us app. If you don't have the app, download it today. And if you do have it, please consider upgrading to the premium version to unlock all of the best features of the app!   Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Anonymous Question Submission You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

This is our third Sextember Episode! So this is also going to be a really fun and spicy podcast to give you inspiration and ideas to make the most out of your Sextember!  Today, we get to talk about how to share your fantasies with your spouse (which is really hard to do sometimes) and about the value of adding novelty and spice to your marriage relationship.  In preparation for this episode, we polled our Instagram audience by asking them a bunch of "yes, no, maybe" questions (and some of them are really spicy!). Listen for those at the end to see how your own responses line up with those of our general audience. Jacqlin is my guest today, and I'm so grateful to have her as a member of my Get Your Marriage On team. (And you may have seen Jacqlin on our Instagram as she creates a lot of fun and entertaining reels.)  Jacqlin has been married for over 15 years and has four boys. And she's also a certified life coach and loves helping  other individuals have more peace and comfort with sexuality for themselves and in their marriages.   Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Anonymous Question Submission You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

Welcome to our second Sextember episode! For this month, every episode will be filled with ideas to add more spice and excitement to your bedroom as part of our Sextember series. Last week, my guest, Tammy Camp, and I talked about flirting and initiating. So today we're going to build on that and talk about another spicy and exciting topic: putting the play back in foreplay! Foreplay in my opinion is the best part of an intimate encounter. Foreplay is how you set the stage for how intimate and connecting the experience is going to be.   And by the end of this episode, you'll learn the grand key to unlock amazing foreplay in your marriage.  And it's something anybody can do. We'll give you specific tips and ideas as well. I'll also address some questions that you listeners have sent in anonymously about foreplay.   I'm joined by Amy Langford, a certified marriage and intimacy coach that works with me in my Get Your Marriage On program. She's been married for over 25 years to her husband, Greg, has four children and one son-in-law, and is passionate about helping couples uplevel their marriage.   Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Anonymous Question Submission You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

I am so excited for what's coming up in September! For the next four episodes in the month of September, we will focus on the theme of spicing things up in the bedroom. We're just adding a little more creativity to your lovemaking routines! It's going to be fun and we're doing all this because September for us is Sextember. If you don't know what that is, listen to the podcast or check out our website or Instagram for more. Today's topic is all about initiating and flirting, which I think are two vital skills any couple needs to spice things up in the bedroom. So I've invited my friend at Tammy Camp, a fellow coach with me in my Get Your Marriage On program, to share some ideas together. We get a riff off of each other about how to initiate more creatively, have more fun, and just give you some ideas and inspiration for you and your spouse in your marriage.   Resources: Intimately Us App (join the Sextember challenge here!) Get Your Marriage On Program Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

**SEXTEMBER STARTS ON SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 1. DOWNLOAD THE INTIMATELY US APP TO PARTICIPATE** My hope for you after listening to today's episode is you'll laugh a little, be inspired and gain some practical tools that you can use to improve communication about intimate things in your marriage.  My guest today is Alyson Bullock, a marriage and family therapist, communication coach, and has a popular Instagram account @relationshipswithaly.  Today, Alyson and I are going to chat about your questions that will cover topics such as the following: How to talk to your spouse about wanting more variety in spice in the bedroom How to talk to your spouse if what they want to do with you in the bedroom is a bit too much outside your comfort zone How to discuss mismatched sexual desire How to address resentments in your marriage, especially when things feel lopsided when it comes to sharing household chores and the mental load of running a home And we're going to talk about some really fun, practical things to implement in your marriage today!   Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Women's Small Group Coaching (Cohort starting in October) Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.  

In the thick of raising children or building a career or juggling the many demands that life imposes on us, it's easy for couples to feel like relationship matters have been put to the side. You don't intend for this to happen, of course. It's easy for things to feel so vanilla, routine, or monotonous between you and your spouse. So how do some couples work through these challenges effectively? I love releasing podcasts episodes like this one, because these guests aren't so-called "experts" that pretend to have everything figured out, they're ordinary men like me and you. They have regular normal challenges; yet, their stories are inspiring because their insights are applicable to everyone. My guests, Clint and Tony, were part of the latest men's small group coaching program that I run periodically. You'll get to hear all about their experience as well as other special insights that they've gained as a result of participating in this life changing program. One thing I've learned over the years of doing this work is that men need men. When good men band together, committed to helping each other become better husbands and fathers, great things happen. Registration is now open for our next cohort for our men's small group coaching program, like the one Tony and Clinton just did. This 12-week program is limited to just 8-10 men, and it starts September 4. The program includes a comprehensive course and coaching to help you apply proven principles in your unique circumstances. I'm absolutely certain this program is a good fit for you if you're in an otherwise healthy relationship, yet feel like something is missing when it comes to intimacy. You'll definitely uncover what's missing and witness a transformation in yourself over the 12 weeks we meet together. All of these details are here on my website. By the way we also have an equivalent women's program starting in October, so check back for those details too. Other Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

This is part two of the podcast we released last Friday (#200). And if you haven't listened to that one, I highly recommend you pause this episode and go back and listen to #200 first. These two episodes are continuation of a project that I started a few months ago to better understand what it means for me to cherish my spouse. I shared a tragic story about my wife's cousin and how that really propelled us to understand what it means to cherish others better. In the process, I've sought out mentors to help me understand this concept better. And you get to hear snippets of the conversations I've had with them - you get to be a fly on the wall and learn with me and what it really means to cherish your spouse. And to love them really, really well. Of all the things I talk about on the podcast -- sex, orgasms, initiating, foreplay -- I think learning how to cherish your spouse whole heartedly takes the cake! This is the most important. This is the sum of everything that I wish you would get from my podcast. I hope these two episodes become the most downloaded episodes of the entire podcast. And this is what I want to be known for. I want you to know that to really love and cherish your spouse is at the heart of everything we do, even your sexual interactions (which we talk a lot about on this podcast, right?). It's about how you cherish your spouse through the language of your sexuality and sharing that with your spouse exclusively. So today you get a year from three more mentors that I look up to a lot: Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates). So you get three different perspectives here on the same kind of thing, different stages of life, different worldviews. And in case you missed it, I talked to Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens, (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage) in part 1. I hope this is the inspiration you need to make the most of your marriage relationship--make the changes, get the help, and do what you need to do-- to find that deep and abiding love, the cherishing that brings the deepest meaning and satisfaction to our lives.   Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

We recently experienced the loss of a family member very suddenly, a young mom with three children, and it has made me want to love and appreciate and cherish my wife more. And so this set me out on a personal project to understand the concept of cherishing a little better. This project has really changed me. It has changed me in my intimate interactions with my wife and with my children and with others. I've learned how to be a lot more present with them, less anxious. And the way I make love to my wife has brought a different tone to our marriage. It's more connecting, it's more real, it's more eyes open. There's a more genuine desire to be close to each other in our love making also. To help me in my quest to better understand cherishing and what it means for me in my life and in my marriage, I've sought out a few mentors to help me and I've recorded our conversations. I've asked them just a simple question: "What does it mean to cherish your spouse?" And I just sat back and listened as these great teachers shared so many nuggets from their life experiences. Because this topic has had such a big impact on me, and I didn't want you to miss any of it, I've decided to split this into two podcasts episodes. In this episode, you'll get to hear from Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, Alana Martens (from Kingdom Sexuality), and Tony DiLorenzo (from One Extraordinary Marriage). And in a special bonus episode on Monday, August 19, you'll get to hear part 2 from Tammy Hill, Danielle Savory, and Alex & Kadi Dutton (from EveryLove Intimates). Takeaways As you listen to what these wise people say . . . ♥️ I hope you'll listen with an open heart. ♥️ I hope it changes you as much as it changed me. ♥️ I hope this episode will inspire you to treat your spouse with a lot more appreciation and a lot more dignity. ♥️ I hope you'll find greater strength to look past the trivial barriers that get in the way of true connection. ♥️ I hope it motivates you to put down the phone more often and to actually gaze into your spouse's eyes. ♥️ I hope it motivates you to put your arm around him or her and hold them close, because you never know, today might be the last day you'll be together for a long time.   Resources: Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com    Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

It's interesting that we live in a day and age where it's not the popular thing to want a family and a strong, committed marriage with complete fidelity.  At least in America, the trend is to make wealth the ultimate measure of our progress in life.  But I got to tell you: if you're looking for an investment that would give you a return on happiness, I can't think of anything more of lasting value than a vibrant, passionate and intimate marriage. This kind of marriage brings our the best in both individuals and creates a safe and loving home for children as well. Having a marriage I'm excited about is worth everything to me.  In today's episode, you'll get to hear what I said on my friend Angelo's podcast. He recently interviewed me, and in our conversation we talked about some really great topics such as . . .  Why it's important to prioritize or marriage Why sexual desire differences arise in long-term marriages (and how to solve it) How to have candid conversations with a spouse about sex And more! Resources: Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God’s Direction In Your Sex Life Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com 

I get so many questions through the anonymous question form on my website, so it's time to answer some more. We address these topics today: A husband doesn't feel like his wife values sex and intimacy in their marriage Spouses wondering if erotic literature has a place in a Christian marriage A husband wanting more novelty in a sexual relationship, but don't know how to talk about it A wife feeling turned off by an overweight husband A spouse unwilling to try new things in the bedroom A wife wanting ideas to woo her husband These are real questions on the hearts of many of you listeners, and I am humbled that you would trust me with your most perplexing questions relating to sexual intimacy in your marriage. I'm on a mission to help you have the very best sexual and intimate marriage possible. And I hope that the discussion today spurs deeper conversations within you and your marriage. If you have a question you'd like to submit anonymously for me to address in a future podcast episode, fill out the form here, and that comes straight to me. **Episode 200 is coming up and I can't wait. You don't want to miss it. **Sextember is also fast approaching. This challenge starts September 1. Download the Intimately Us app to get all the details as it approaches.   Resources: Episode 194: “Is this ok for us to do?” Seeking God’s Direction In Your Sex Life Get Your Marriage On Program Intimately Us App FREE TRAINING: How to Become One: Overcoming obstacles to intimacy and significantly improving sex and connection in your marriage, in 90 days or less Couples Retreat in St. George, UT, October 10-13 Retreat testimonial videos You can find links to all these and more at our website: getyourmarriageon.com