Sam Vaknin - Toxicity of Social Media (3) Recommendations and Bananas

This is inspired by the "No Country for Old Men" film and novel, which I believe confronts the audience with their narcissism. We will go through all the narcissism DSM traits, along with proposed antidotes to them. (00:27) Books Recommendation (02:39) Richard's Disclaimer About Him Going Political (06:15) "No Country for Old Men" as a Story Deconstructing Our Narcissism (12:43) Meta-narrative About Storytelling (Narcissism of the Audience) (13:29) The Red Pill Philosophy for Narcissism (15:59) Humility as a Skill of Self-examination (18:45) Being Boundaried in Our Grandiosity (Your Story is Important to You) (25:06) Prioritizing Truth and Reality Over Fantasy (27:58) Neediness for Admiration (32:22) Finding Value in Yourself as an Antidote (34:38) Entitlement (40:38) Nobody is Coming to Save You (42:15) The Antidote - "I'm Not Owed Anything and Don't Really Need That Much" (43:15) Exploitativeness (Others Also Have Fears, Needs and Lives) (48:55) Zero Empathy and Empathy Exercises (50:00) Envy and Gratitude (50:52) Recap (51:50) Bullying and Abusing (53:24) In the History, the Snake Will Always Eats His Own Tail

Narcissistic parent is prone to treat their child in either of two ways. Overpraising (Golden Child) or shunning and scapegoating (Black Sheep). What is the reason behind that kind of parenthood and how does it impact the children development? Find out in this episode. (01:10) The Big Long Screaming 'Nooo' of Denial (05:25) Narcissistic Shell (Reality Split) (08:40) Communication With NPD Through His Shield (11:16) No Boundaries and the Godlike Position NPD Takes (13:46) The Story of a Golden Child and a Black Sheep as Narcissist's Two Sons (20:46) Scapegoat (24:08) Codependent That Has Been Cast Out Into the Darkness (27:02) //Q&A Section// (27:17) "Do you think narcissists despise sensitive emotional children because they are everything they can never be or do, they see it as a weakness?" (29:07) "Can the black sheep/golden child switch roles continually between two children?" (29:20) "Can divorce parents reverse the scapegoat and golden child roles with their two kids?" (29:57) "Can the same child be a golden child and a black sheep simultaneously when there's only one child?" (30:35) "Would NPD commit suicide or are they too emotionally immature, or do they get others to commit suicide for them?"  (30:47) "Can the black sheep help the golden child?" (31:01) "Is it possible for a golden child to change?" (31:33) "What if the golden child rebels against the parent?" (31:49) "Is every NPD recruited by another NPD in their mirrored reality?" (32:11) "There's too much entitlement today" (33:06) "Why is the narcissistic parent angered by the scapegoat happiness and success?" (34:13) "Does a black sheep manifest as a codependent?" (34:37) "Would it help to understand their worldview or is it a waste of time?" (35:03) "Does the medical community currently recognize the rate of people driven to suicide by NPD's?" (38:36) "Can the NPD manipulate their children that they rather spend time with him?" (38:57) "Why as the black sheep, am I the only one to see the evil in the NPD parent?"

Could Social Media be more healthy? These platforms could be completely redesigned, and even serve us better. Check out the suggestions how it could be done, alongside with an explanation of social media mechanisms. (00:03) The Most Recent Studies on the Toxicity of Social Media Part 1 (03:53) The Most Recent Studies on the Toxicity of Social Media Part 2 (07:47) What Can We Learn From These Studies? (08:28) Sam Vaknin’s Suggestions: Step 1 (11:50) Step 2 and Step 3 (14:37) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 1 (17:49) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 2 (21:18) A Few More Recommendations by Sam Vaknin Part 3 (26:10) The Crux of the Matter (28:36) Why Social Media Should Charge a Fee and Why It Would Work (33:28) Getting Rid of the Likes (34:55) Examples of How Some Companies Went From Free to Fee and Benefited (39:46) Social Media Executive Might All Have the Fraud Syndrome (44:40) What Would Happen to a Micro-famous Young Person Who Also Thinks It’s a Fraud (46:30) Sam Vaknin Adds to Richard’s Answer (51:19) That Constant Pulling Out of the Smartphone to Check Seems to Be Compulsive and Nervous (55:16) Psychological Background to Why Social Media is So Addictive (58:28) We All Have Recognition Hunger (1:02:14) In Social Media It’s Almost Impossible to Obtain the “Positive Stroking” (1:06:34) The Idea of Six Human Needs (1:08:45) The Difference Between Conditioning and Addiction Part 1 (1:12:23) The Difference Between Conditioning and Addiction Part 2 (1:16:41) Richard Adds to the Explanation (1:19:41) Would Bringing Storytelling Back to Social Media Convert Conditioning to Addiction? (1:22:16) Holocaust Was a Form of Mass-conditioning (1:27:06) The More Primitive is the Conditioning, the Harder It is to Break (1:31:25) Is Telling a Story of the Social Media Makes It Less of a Conditional Tool? Part 1 (1:36:33) Is Telling a Story of the Social Media Makes It Less of a Conditional Tool? Part 2 (1:40:16) Social Media is Not an Innocent Tool (1:42:10) The Ring From the Lord of the Rings Analogy (1:44:32) They Cannot Claim That They’re Not Trying to Coerce People (1:48:37) Goodbye

Isn't it dangerous to crush people's optimism with a medical sounding condition? Depending on which filters/models you use to approach the symptoms, you will get different results. Realize how much of how we think about the problem impact our ability to solve it. There is no one and only way of looking at things. Consider the alternatives - you have a choice. (00:37) A Metaphor for the Violence Done to Human Psyche (03:11) How One's Skill of Sitting Alone Comfortably Have Been Warped (05:16) Reframing of How We Name the Symptoms (06:51) Is That Label/Model Useful or Disempowering? (08:14) Let's Consider the Alternatives (Option 1 or Option 2?) (10:41) Is It Not Dangerous to Crush People's Optimism? (12:09) Few Suggestions for Bending Back to Shape

How to get through 2020? How do we deal with what's coming next? This year poses many challenges. How to keep going AND come out stronger on the other side? Here is my short take on this. (00:01) Trauma Causing Warps in the Human System (04:18) How Does That Relate to 2020? (06:59) Altering Our Story & Focusing on Optimism (11:37) Coping, Humility and Being a Grown Up

Narcissism expert Sam Vaknin talks about a necessary and crucial modality change if NPD is to be treated. (00:14) Narcissistic Abuse Is A Plea For Help (04:00) Narcissists Associate Empathy With Pain (06:37) We Need To Treat Narcissists Like Traumatized Children (08:01) Sam Talks About Recreating The Traumatic Environment In The Therapeutic Context (13:00) The Issue Of Perceiving Narcissism As A Personality Disorder (16:06) The Problem Of Getting The NPD To The Therapeutic Environment (19:25) Sam Says Why He's Able To Dig Into Multiple Scientific Fields

Can your social status give you depression? You might have heard about a connection between depression and serotonin. And a connection between serotonin and your position in a social hierarchy. How does it really work? What is it that makes us and our neurochemistry happy? (00:27) Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome (01:47) Depression/Trauma Causes Low Serotonin, Not the Other Way Around (02:40) The Social Hierarchy and Serotonin Levels Connection (03:59) Social Isolation as a Cause for Dropping in Hierarchy

All about recovery from emotional abuse and CPTSD in this Q&A session, also including two live chats. (00:00) What does setting boundaries with ourselves exactly mean? (04:27) Richard Mentions His Experience and Qualifications (06:59) Cultivating the Virtue of Discipline (09:09) How to deal with anger and realization that you have been used? (20:11) How do you open yourself up to a relationship again after being in one with a narcissist? (22:29) Where do I begin to find a treatment or a therapist regarding CPTSD? (24:15) How do you stand on dissociative personality disorder? (27:17) The 4 Stress Responses & Explaining the Freeze Response (31:54) Split Personality, Parts & the Problem With Psychological Models (37:44) How many sessions on average it takes for somebody to get better? (41:54) Does the CPTSD and flashbacks go away if someone does the necessary self-help work? (44:40) Is recovery from childhood abuse kind of reframing and understanding ourselves and what happened? (45:53) Is it normal for your physical body to get sick or tired during the self-help work? (49:39) Is it normal for a covert narcissist or borderline to accuse their mate of being a narcissist?  (52:59) People Willing Playing the Game With Abusers (55:20) How do we know we are not projecting the narcissism on others? (58:53) Is everyone who was or is in relationship with narcissist a codependent? (1:01:09) What do you do when there's hardly anyone left in your left? (avoiding the post-traumatic embitterment syndrome) (1:08:04) Getting Into a Trauma Bond With Institutions and Programs for People With Addiction (1:13:32) Is there a way to deprogram this? (1:14:31) The Golden Child and Scapegoating (1:16:26) Goodbye

I've said for the past 6 years that I do not believe there could ever be a cure for narcissism. That position is something I've maintained because of the NPD impulse to dismantle the therapeutic process. If a narcissist could be convinced not to do that (and I explain a possible method of how this could be done in the video) then there is a CHANCE they could be healed. But it would be very, very difficult and the Narcissist, NOT the therapist, would have to be willing to put in extremely challenging work, every day for a year or so. In the video I explain why it's akin to someone being in a coma for a long time learning to walk again I'm not a clinician, I'm not qualified to diagnose or do psychotherapy work with anyone. Nor have I ever altered someone with full-blown NPD in any but the most cosmetic ways through coaching. But if there is a chance for full healing, I think it depends on these 5 key points. (00:49) Understanding of CPTSD (02:24) Dealing With Emotional Dysregulation (05:51) Narcissist Trying to Avoid Feelings of Shame (07:50) NPD is Archetypal (Specific Cluster of Emotions) (09:50) The Sad Baby Archetype & Recruiting People (12:18) The Angry Toddler  (14:34) NPD is Not 'Demonic', It's a Response to Trauma (19:10) On Overcoming the Superego (21:39) Parent's Injunctions Instilling the Superego (24:39) Internalized Bad Vs. Good Superego, Corrosion of Boundaries (28:20) Narcissist Has No Ego (30:40) The Unrealistic View of the Self (Two Extremes of Good and Bad) (38:28) Vulnerable Vs. Grandiose Narcissist, Performative Role of the Grandiose Narcissist (40:50) The Love Substitute & Narcissist's Adulation (43:50) The "Don't Rise Too High" Injunction (47:46) Getting Past the Blockage to Heal (49:11) Switching on the Ego to Resist Superego (52:43) Developing a Strong Ego Using Philosophy

This is a quick mnemonic that will make you remember to check, whether, and where, you've given your consent, so you're able to maintain your boundaries. (00:23) You Are the First Person You Need to Assert Boundaries With (02:11) It's Not Always Appropriate to Argue (Especially With Non-sincere Communicator) (03:07) The Biblical Origin of "Non Serviam"