252. The Family Holidays One ft. Mama J

Ali is joined by her mom (aka Mama J) from their girls trip to Costa Rica for a real, funny, and super practical convo about holiday logistics when you’re dating someone. They start with trip updates (a crab in the hallway, a fully gluten-free resort, and the upcoming “48-hour travel day + cats” marathon), then dive into what listeners said in IG polls about where they’re spending the holidays, when people talk about plans, and what stresses everyone out most.Ali and Mama J unpack how holiday decisions actually get made, why spending holidays apart isn’t automatically a red flag, and how to communicate with your partner and your family without resentment. They talk about merging traditions, the difference between “the actual day” vs “the feeling,” and why being in your partner’s family space can feel like performing. Plus: a legendary Akavit story, Norwegian Christmas customs, and the surprisingly emotional power of something as small as a stocking with your name on it.P.S. The two Costa Rica hotels are Occidental Papagayo and Hotel Hacienda GuachipelinTimestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 13.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhDawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Content note for this episode: we talk in detail about menopause, infertility and IVF, chronic pain, medical dismissal, and depression.This week, Ali is joined by longtime listener Sara, who shares a powerful Storytime about discovering she was essentially in menopause at 36. After years of symptoms like debilitating periods, anxiety, depression, fatigue, Sara finally got answers when fertility testing revealed primary ovarian insufficiency likely caused by endometriosis.Sara walks us through her journey from “something feels off” to tracking her cycle, being dismissed by multiple providers, finally landing in a fertility clinic where she uncovered what had been happening to her body all along. She opens up about the emotional toll of IVF with very low ovarian reserve, moving to egg donor, navigating failed transfers, and what it has meant for her identity, her mental health, and her marriage.In Updates, Ali is back in NYC and reflecting on relational skills she’s grown while in a relationship with Skyline.Where to find Sara: On Instagram @blankplatepod, on TikTok @blankplatepod, at www.blankplatepodcast.com.Timestamps: Sara joins us at around minute 22.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastWant to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!Thanks to this week’s partners:Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhHis Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Katy & Tony are back this week to share their updates from the dating trenches. First, Tony tells us about the guy he’s surprisingly started dating long distance - we unpack mixed signals, hookup-to-date pivots, and how long distance might work better for him.Then we chat with Katy, whose dating life is serving a completely different flavor of excitement. Think: texting energy, red flags, self-check moments, friends meeting your date, and more. Plus, we send a follow-up text live on the mic!In Updates, I’m reflecting on my first holiday spent with Skyline’s family (and the first spent away from mine in 20 years).Timestamps: Katy & Tony joins us at around minute 21.If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.comHomeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhHis Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week, Ali welcomes the brilliant and endlessly curious Miriam Tinberg, a content creator who describes herself (rightly so!) as a conversation starter. If you like discussions that make you say, “wait, I’ve never thought about it like that,” you’re in the right place. We dive into unspoken rules, etiquette, communication patterns, and the gray space we all actually live in - not just in dating & relationships, but in all of life!The two also chat about this week’s Media Mention, “Good Conversations Have Lots of Doorknobs” by Adam Mastroianni: https://www.experimental-history.com/p/good-conversations-have-lots-of-doorknobsIn Updates, Ali is back from vacation, where she and Skyline relaxed, reset, dealt with a surprise back injury, and started dreaming up future trips. They also tackled some big home and routine changes now that he’s back in an office five days a week.Where to find Miriam: On Instagram @miriam_tinny, on Substack.Timestamps: Miriam joins us at around minute 22.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.comHis Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode, Ali sits down with somatic sex coach and author Rachel Overvoll for an honest, expansive conversation about divorce, desire, and learning to feel safe in your own body. The two talk about the shifting stigma around divorce, why “it might end” is not a reason to avoid marriage, and how women are often conditioned to over-function in relationships until they burn out.Rachel also breaks down what it means to be relational in partnership, how to tell the difference between fighting for your relationship and staying out of obligation, and practical ways to work through resentment when a partner is finally stepping up.Then we get into sex and embodiment, including how to recognize performative sex, why pressure kills pleasure, and simple somatic tools you can use to get out of your head during intimacy.In Updates, Ali is on vacation in Mexico and using that time to chat shifting domestic roles with Skyline.Where to find Rachel: On Instagram @rachelovervoll and at www.modernintimacy.com. Timestamps: Rachel joins us at around minute 11.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.comHis Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is solo this week answering questions submitted by you, the listeners! Our question round up includes: navigating comfort vs spark chasing in a new relationship, starting to date when you’re still getting over your ex, how Skyline and I establish de-escalating tactics in every day life, finding a partner who appreciates your independence, and more.In Updates, Ali had a wonderful time at the Red Door Community gala - plus we hear from Elyse!Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 25If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastWant to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!Thanks to this week’s partners:Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.comHis Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhOur Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Therapist and creator of Detangling Divorce, Stacey Sherrell, joins Ali to talk about the role of self-trust in finding a strong partnership, her own path to divorce, and how couples can set themselves up for success long before a crisis. Topics also include: respect as a non-negotiable and how to spot corrosive conflict, the invisible mental load, when to start couples therapy, the questions to ask yourself before having kids, and talking money with your partner.In Updates, Ali is recovering from food poisoning and reflecting on feeling safe to be triggered in a relationship (a very timely reflection with this week’s guest!).Where to find Stacey: On Instagram @detanglingdivorce and at www.detanglingdivorce.com.Timestamps: Stacey joins us at around minute 17.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhHis Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Katy & Tony are back on the pod for a deep dive into their dating app profiles (plus a sneak peek at some upcoming updates). In this Dating Diaries episode, Ali reviews each of their profiles - Hinge for Katy, Tinder & Grindr for Tony - and the three come away with some great updates to make. From dimly lit photos to making bios sound like your unique voice…there’s a lot to cover! And the vibe between these two friends as they review each other’s profiles is amazing, too.But first, Ali recaps her housewarming party with Skyline featuring a new kind bar, plus looks ahead to how division of household labor will need to change with Skyline’s shifting work schedule.Timestamps: Katy & Tony join us at around minute 13.If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.His Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.comHomeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Our Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you haven’t come across the Hot Chef saga on Threads…first of all, how?! Second of all, you’re truly missing out. But not to worry - this week, Ali sits down with the woman at the center of it all, Katherine Wela Bogen. We dive into this joy-filled, captivating, and refreshingly real modern-day romance from start to finish. After a string of disappointing dating experiences, Katherine shares how a trip to Paris — and one bold move into a restaurant kitchen — led her to where she is today. In this heartwarming episode, we’re unpacking how intuition, risk-taking, and a little romantic courage can change everything.But first, in Updates, Ali is back from Japan and preparing for her housewarming with Skyline (with a few cranky moments along the way!). We’re also looking forward to upcoming pod topics and previewing a new guest!Where to find Katherine: On Instagram @k.w.bogen, on Threads @k.w.bogen, and on TikTok @sexualityscholar. Pre-Order Katherine's book Queering Him here.Timestamps: Katherine joins us at around minute 31.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhHomeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Our Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is collaborating in the studio with Rory Uphold, host of the Crimes of the Heart podcast! The two set out to chat about their most and least favorite pieces of dating advice, but quickly realize that this conversation is the start of a new friendship. Topics range from who should pay on a first date to why dating is so hard right now to the specific difficulties women face in navigating today’s world. It’s their first time talking but certainly won’t be the last!In Updates, Ali is coming to you live from Japan!! She chats a bit about the trip so far, what she’s enjoying most about the country (hint: it’s edible), how Skyline is faring with the cats at home, and more. Plus, she’s caught up on the first 6 episodes of Love Is Blind and can’t believe what she’s watching (no spoilers though).Where to find Rory On Instagram @icouldbeblonder, on TikTok @roryuphold, the Crimes of the Heart Podcast and her book Dating is a Horror Show. Be the Final Girl. Use code HEIGHT15 to get 15% off your copy. Timestamps: Rory joins us at around minute 28.If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcastThanks to this week’s partners:Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmhHomeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!Our Sponsors:* Check out Homeaglow: https://homeaglow.com/mrheight* Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy