Self Sabotaging Stories That Keep Us Stuck (audio essay)

Full text: https://www.pecanphilosophy.com/writing/mindtraps"Others Have It Worse, So I Shouldn't Complain.” Self-sabotaging stories that keep you stuck are rarely obvious villains. They come masked as common sense, as truism, as gratitude or kindness, as protection against future pain. We carry them like sacred truths, hardly seeing how what is designed to self-sabotage is actually leaving us feeling hollow and disconnected.  In this letter, I want us to see if we can expose some of these hidden self-sabotaging beliefs, see them for what they are, and re-examine if we truly want to carry them for the rest of our lives: “Others have it worse, so I should not complain." "My parents did their best, so I cannot be upset." "If I accept love, I will only be disappointed later." Self-sabotaging beliefs often disguise oppression as morality. They sound rational, even noble, yet they are nothing more than outdated schemas that keep us small.For the full article:https://www.pecanphilosophy.com/writing/mindtrapsEggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

This is a reshare of my interview with Jess Leondiou, originally featured on Make Your Mind podcast.I am grateful to Jess for graciously allowing me to repost our conversation from earlier this year.About Make Your Mind PodcastHow do our minds really work? How different are we from one another? What is the science behind our interactions, and how do we fit into the larger collective of consciousness? Make Your Mind explores these profound questions with curiosity and dedication to expanding our understanding of ourselves and the world. Jess brings together experts from various fields - those who study the science of the mind, experts in self-inquiry, and thought leaders with social and cultural insights - for conversations that unpack these evolving topics.Our ConversationIn her beautiful introduction, Jess reflects on how diagnosis impacts our sense of self. She explores the complex territory between finding relief and validation in labels, while also noticing how they can shift our self-perception. As research shows (Dweck), what we believe about ourselves profoundly shapes our behavior, and the language we use becomes central to how we operate.Thank you again, Jess, for this meaningful conversation and for the care you bring to exploring the breadth of human experience!!Originally featured on Make Your Mind podcast : https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makeyourmind/episodes/Emotional-Sensitivity--Intensity-For-the-Neurodivergent-and-Gifted-Adult--with-Imi-Lo-e33ak1nPlease do check out her wonderful work as well! Archley’s: https://www.archleys.com/pages/about-us?srsltid=AfmBOoquQqTW2HRBvOofa--49rkIqDCTLQU6qfcOXnxtuCG8rOmj9k0BEggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text: https://www.pecanphilosophy.com/writing/terrorEggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text: https://www.imiloimilo.com/writing/unfinishedEggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

SHOW NOTES: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/08/26/dreams/In this conversation, explore the significance of dreams in our lives, how they can serve as a window into our unconscious, and their potential to guide us through emotional healing. Dr. Ellis will share insights into the neuroscience of dreaming, the role of Jungian symbolism, and how dreams can help us process emotions, trauma, and even PTSD.We also discuss practical techniques for understanding and interacting with our dreams, including how to engage with recurring dreams and nightmares in a way that promotes healing and insight. About Dr. Leslie EllisDr. Leslie Ellis is a leading expert in the use of somatic approaches in psychotherapy, in particular for working with dreams, nightmares and the effects of trauma. She is the author of A Clinician’s Guide to Dream Therapy (Routledge, 2019) and offers many training opportunities in embodied, experiential dreamwork based on her book.  She has a PhD in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, with a specialization in somatic approaches. Her dissertation on using focusing-oriented therapy to treat PTSD for refugees with recurrent nightmares won the Ernest Hartmann award from the International Association for the Study of Dreams.Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Show notes: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/08/19/chriswells/Today, we have Chris Wells, who is a writer, podcaster, and researcher, with a focus on inner experiences of gifted, complex, and intense people. We discuss:How Positive Disintegration Theory by Dabrowski highlighting the idea that inner conflict and suffering are signs of growth, not illness.Chris discusses the complexity and personal impact of discovering Dabrowski’s theory, which challenges traditional psychiatric perspectives by valuing unique personal experiences.the loaded term “giftedness” and its implications, how we should have a broader understanding beyond just high IQChris’s personal journey of self-acceptance, including experiences with ADHD, autism, and identifying as non-binarythe potential of AI tools like ChatGPT in aiding personal developmentAbout Chris WellsChris Wells, PhD (they/them/theirs), is a writer, researcher, and storyteller specializing in positive disintegration, neurodivergence, and personal transformation.As the founder of the Dąbrowski Center and creator of the Positive Disintegration Network, they are at the forefront of expanding and deepening conversations around Dąbrowski’s theory of positive disintegration. Their work bridges academic research, qualitative inquiry, and public testimony, using autoethnography and lived experience to illuminate the complexities of personality development.Chris co-hosts the Positive Disintegration, cosmic cheer squad, and PDA: Resistance and Resilience podcasts, and writes on Substack, where they challenge misconceptions, clarify theory, and provide insight into the lived reality of developmental transformation. With a background in qualitative research and autoethnography, they are committed to using personal storytelling as a means of collective healing and self-discovery.As a thought leader in the gifted and neurodivergentcommunities, Chris actively works to correct misunderstandings about overexcitabilities, giftedness, and the role of trauma in transformation. Their presentations and writings advocate for a broader, more inclusive understanding of positive disintegration, moving beyond existing modEggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Click through to the full article about Hermeneutic Injustice and Invisible Childhood Trauma: https://www.pecanphilosophy.com/writing/hermeneutic-injusticeIn case you are wondering, the essay is narrated with the voice of a real human :)  Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Link to more info: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/05/29/drrondel/A CONVERSATION ON EXISTENTIAL ANXIETY I am pleased to share with you my recent conversation on a topic that haunts many of us: anxiety. Today, we dive into the connection between philosophy and anxiety with Dr. David Rondel, a philosophy professor and author of "A Danger, Which We Do Not Know: A Philosophical Journey into Anxiety." In his work, Dr. Rondel explores his journey through anxiety. From the wisdom of thinkers like Kierkegaard and William James to the challenges of modern anxieties like eco-anxiety and social media stress, Dr. Rondel shows us how embracing anxiety can lead to personal growth and a greater understanding of ourselves.I would be thrilled for you to join this poignant and perennially relevant discussion! About Dr. RondelDavid Rondel is Associate Professor in the Department of Philosophy at the University of Nevada. He is the author of Pragmatist Egalitarianism (Oxford University Press, 2018), and editor or co-editor of four additional books: Pessimism of the Intellect, Optimism of the Will: The Political Philosophy of Kai Nielsen (University of Calgary Press, 2012), Pragmatism and Justice (Oxford University Press, 2017), The Cambridge Companion to Rorty (Cambridge University Press, 2021), and The Moral Psychology of Anxiety (Lexington, 2024).His website: https://www.davidrondel.com/aboutThe book: https://www.amazon.com/Danger-Which-Not-Know-Philosophical/dp/0197767249Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

FULL SUMMARY: https://eggshelltherapy.com/podcast-blog/2025/05/22/andrew_belfour/Today, we’re joined by Dr. Balfour, a clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and psychoanalytic psychotherapist. He is the author of Life and Death: Our Relationship with Ageing, Dementia, and Other Fates of Time. In this conversation, we delve into the intersection of aging, relationships, and the search for meaning. Dr. Belfour shares his research on fostering emotional connections for couples in which one partner has dementia, and how small, everyday moments can create meaning even in the most challenging circumstances.Dr. Balfour also reflects on society’s neglect of aging and mortality as crucial topics, attributing this to our collective fear of vulnerability and a cultural obsession with youth. This discussion doesn’t shy away from the realities of aging, such as dependency, increased vulnerability, and existential regrets, but it also offers hope. Dr. Balfour shares valuable insights on navigating the challenges of aging, loneliness, and regret, providing practical ways to foster resilience and connection.  I hope this conversation resonates with you and offers a meaningful opportunity to consider these important themes.About Dr. Andrew Balfour:Andrew Balfour trained as a clinical psychologist at University College London and then as an adult psychotherapist at the Tavistock & Portman NHS Trust. He subsequently trained as a couple psychotherapist at Tavistock Relationships, where for more than 10 years he was Clinical Director before becoming Chief Executive in 2016. Dr. Balfour’s book: Life and Death Our Relationship with Ageing, Dementia, and Other Fates of Time, published by Routledge in 2025Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com/Imi Lo:  imiloimilo.comSister Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3Zcl8ZUsu4AePugDoWtXcgFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/eggshelltransformationsNewsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers  Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likEggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.

Full text here: https://eggshelltherapy.com/lovelanguages/"Your preferred love language is what you missed the most in childhood."The other day, I stumbled across a quote on social media that caught my attention: “Your preferred love language is what you missed most in childhood.” I think that is quite true. Indeed, psychoanalysts and couples' counselors have long observed that many of us unconsciously attempt to fill the gaps of our past in our adult lives—whether through our intimate relationships, friendships, or even at work.I started wondering if this differs slightly for a gifted person. How does being intense and sensitive change one's love language, or does it? What happens when a child with exceptional emotional depth, intellectual curiosity, and heightened sensitivity grows up in an environment laden with misunderstanding or even emotional abuse? How does intellectual or emotional deprivation affect the ways they express and seek connection in their adult relationships?Eggshell Therapy and Coaching: eggshelltherapy.com About Imi Lo: www.imiloimilo.comInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/eggshelltherapy_imilo/ Newsletters: https://eepurl.com/bykHRzDisclaimers: https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/disclaimers Trigger Warning: This episode may cover sensitive topics including but not limited to suicide, abuse, violence, severe mental illnesses, relationship challenges, sex, drugs, alcohol addiction, psychedelics, and the use of plant medicines. You are advised to refrain from watching or listening to the YouTube Channel or Podcast if you are likely to be offended or adversely impacted by any of these topics. Disclaimer: The content provided is for informational purposes only. Please do not consider any of the content clinical or professional advice. None of the content can substitute mental health intervention. Opinions and views expressed by the host and the guests are personal views and they reserve the right to change their opinions. We also cannot guarantee that everything mentioned is factual and completely accurate. Any action you take based on the information in this episode is taken at your own risk.