756: Rat Utopia

If you want this or you don't want that you shouldn't want that if you want that you gotta do this to get that and to get that you're gonna have to not have that but you want is the thing you need to do to get where you want to go that's not where you really where you want to go, but you pretend you do, and that's where all the trouble starts.New Mexico family! Duncan is coming to Hyena's Comedy Nightclub in Albuquerque, August 14 & 15. Click here to get your tickets now!Check out Mystery Boys with Duncan and Kurt Metzger on YMH Studios!This episode is brought to you by: Download Cash App, use our exclusive referral code SECURE10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account! Terms apply. That’s Money. That’s Cash App. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at MintMobile.com/Duncan.

It's not quite a Matrix yet. It's just the one.BeastBlast Sleeper Cell Epsilon Delta Cum you are activated. BeastBlast Sleeper Cell Beta Kundalini Tau is moved to condition Night Stream.New Mexico family! Duncan is coming to Hyena's Comedy Nightclub in Albuquerque, August 14 & 15. Click here to get your tickets now!This episode is brought to you by: Visit Amentara.com/go/DTFH and use code DUNCAN11 at checkout for 11% Off! Start low. Pay attention. It’s one of those things you dial in for yourself. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/duncan and get on your way to being your best self. Buy two months of BlueChew Gold and get the third FREE with promo code DUNCAN. You also get an additional 10% OFF + Free overnight shipping on your first order. 

You've tuned in, you've locked in, now synchronicity will abound! In a completely unforeseeable turn of events an evil old man with a rotten soul died. Join us as we somberly process our complex feelings on the matter.Houston family! Duncan is in town TONIGHT, July 16! Come see him at the Houston Improv, click here to get your tickets now!And Austin family! Duncan is coming to the Comedy Mothership in Austin, TX, July 17-19. Don't sleep on this one, tickets are selling out fast! Click here to get yours now.This episode is brought to you by: Go to Quince.com/duncan for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too! Download Cash App, use our exclusive referral code SECURE10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account! Terms apply. That’s Money. That’s Cash App.

Welcome back, sweet angels! We're nearly shrew-free and change bucketful, as requested! In the meantime, here's some more hot takes on Christianity (did you know they took the blood out of a guy and put it in a cup?).Austin family! Duncan is coming to the Comedy Mothership in Austin, TX, July 17-19. Don't sleep on this one, tickets are selling out fast! Click here to get yours now.Check out Mystery Boys with Duncan and Kurt Metzger on YMH Studios!This episode is brought to you by: This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/duncan and get on your way to being your best self. Download Cash App, use our exclusive referral code SECURE10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account! Terms apply. That’s Money. That’s Cash App. Buy two months of BlueChew Gold and get the third FREE with promo code DUNCAN. You also get an additional 10% OFF + Free overnight shipping on your first order.

Matt McCusker, incredibly funny comic and co-host of Matt & Shane's Secret Podcast, re-joins the DTFH!For more about Matt, including all of his upcoming tour dates, check out his website: MattMcCusker.com.Austin family! Duncan is coming to the Comedy Mothership in Austin, TX, July 17-19. Don't sleep on this one, tickets are selling out fast! Click here to get yours now.Check out Mystery Boys with Duncan and Kurt Metzger on YMH Studios!This episode is brought to you by: Head to FactorMeals.com/duncan50off and use code duncan50off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. Ultra is the ultimate guilt-free pouch — delivering instant focus and mental clarity, without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use code DUNCAN to get 15% off at TakeUltra.com. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them our show sent you. Visit Amentara.com/go/DTFH and use code DUNCAN11 at checkout for 11% Off! Start low. Pay attention. It’s one of those things you dial in for yourself.

Bobby Kelly, you know him from Louie, you know him from O&A, and he's deep, spiritual madman, joins the DTFH!Houston family! Duncan is coming your way, July 16! Come see him at the Houston Improv, click here to get your tickets now!Check out Mystery Boys with Duncan and Kurt Metzger on YMH Studios!This episode is brought to you by: Download Cash App, use our exclusive referral code SECURE10 in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you’ll get $10 dropped right into your account! Terms apply. That’s Money. That’s Cash App. Go to BrooklynBedding.com and use promo code DUNCAN at checkout to get 30% off sitewide as part of the 4th of July sale. Head to Factormeals.com/duncan50off and use code duncan50off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box!

The ███████ Rose, celebrated ███████ ███ conspiracy lifestyle discord, ███ ██████████ ███ main feed! Guest host █████████ Tranch █████ ███ █████ ██ █████████ ███ ██████████ Kelly Waddleprime, author ███ Chief Redactor for ███ C█A.Hey this is kind of out of nowhere, but comedian and friend of the Family Johnny Pemberton is going to be in Madison, WI at Comedy on State from July 9-11. Click here to get tickets!Houston family! Duncan is coming your way, July 16! Come see him at the Houston Improv, click here to get your tickets now!This episode is brought to you by: Ready to reach your goals? Visit Hims.com/DUNCAN to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you. If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at MintMobile.com/Duncan. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/duncan and get on your way to being your best self.

Ready your undergunt! We're about to explain why your grandmother was catastrophically, diabolically wrong!Nashville family! Duncan is coming this week! He'll be at Zanies Comedy Night Club, June 25 & 26. Click here to get your tickets now!Check out Mystery Boys with Duncan and Kurt Metzger on YMH Studios!This episode is brought to you by: Visit Amentara.com/go/DTFH and use code DUNCAN11 at checkout for 11% Off! Start low. Pay attention. It’s one of those things you dial in for yourself. Buy two months of BlueChew Gold and get the third FREE with promo code DUNCAN. You also get an additional 10% OFF + Free overnight shipping on your first order.  Go to Quince.com/duncan for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too!

How broad of a consensus binds your reality? Hop into Duncan's No-Clothes Time Machine (mandatory) and let's discuss!Check out Mystery Boys with Duncan and Kurt Metzger on YMH Studios! This week's episode: Jeffrey EpsteinTennessee family! Duncan is coming to Nashville! He'll be at Zanies Comedy Night Club, June 25 & 26. Click here to get your tickets now!This episode is brought to you by: Ready to reach your goals? Visit Hims.com/DUNCAN to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/duncan and get on your way to being your best self. Head to Factormeals.com/duncan50off and use code duncan50off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box!

Snap out of your gloomy desperation! The world is beautiful. The mysterious sonic weapon we've deployed in Venezuela that makes people vomit to death is beautiful! Not that we know what it is.Tennessee family! Duncan is coming to Nashville! He'll be at Zanies Comedy Night Club, June 25 & 26. Click here to get your tickets now!This episode is brought to you by: Check out squarespace.com/DUNCAN for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: DUNCAN to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code DUNCAN. Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Father's Day is Sunday, June 21st. Order RIGHT NOW and save up to $20 at StoryWorth.com/Duncan!