Why Veterans Cannot Heal Alone

Why does life after military service feel so isolating? In this episode, we're discussing how to rebuild your purpose when your service ends. What happens when the structure and identity you relied on suddenly disappear? John Miles discusses his own experience leaving the military and the struggle to build a civilian identity without a clear plan. We examine why many veterans carry trauma for years and why civilian workplaces often fail to replicate the trust and shared purpose found in the service. Is your personal worth tied to your performance or accomplishments? This conversation explores the concept of systemic unmattering and introduces the MATTER framework to help you separate your value from your output. By focusing on meaning, autonomy, and trust, you can begin to address veteran isolation and manage the internal shift that occurs when you are no longer defined by your uniform. If you are struggling with a veteran identity crisis, how do you start reclaiming your sense of self? Timestamps: 00:06:53 - No Plan B After The Military 00:16:40 - Why Veterans Excel Under Pressure 00:21:39 - Realizing He Needed The Same Help 00:44:51 - Shared Trauma Among Fellow Veterans 00:48:43 - Separate Your Worth From Performance Links & Resources Veteran Suicide & Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1 Website: https://matteringeffect.com/ Follow John R. Miles on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/johnrmiles.c0m/ Follow John R. Miles on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/john_r_miles/ Follow John R. Miles on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/johnmileshumanperformanceexpert

A lot of veterans make it home physically and still struggle to feel fully present with the people around them. The uniform comes off, but grief, responsibility, memories, and the habits built during years of service can be much harder to leave behind. Jake Kelly shares how several painful experiences collided during his Army career. In one year, he lost two mentors in Afghanistan, had a soldier under his command die by suicide shortly before deployment, and missed the first seven months of his daughter's life. He also discusses his daughter's later diagnosis with a severe form of epilepsy and the effect those experiences had on him. Writing gave Jake a way to put language around what he was carrying. That process eventually became "The Spurs of Service," a memoir that follows his experience through joining the Army, deployment, loss, and the work of healing afterward. The conversation also gets into the isolation veterans can experience after losing the team structure of military life, the difference between pride that helps and pride that keeps someone from asking for help, and the need to find another mission after service. Jake connects that struggle to a familiar military principle: nobody would willingly take on a dangerous objective alone when a team is available, yet veterans sometimes try to handle their hardest personal battles that way. For veterans who have felt disconnected, stuck in survival mode, or unsure what comes next, Jake's story offers a candid perspective on grief, brotherhood, writing, family, and rebuilding a sense of purpose. Timestamps: 00:03:08 - A year marked by loss, deployment, and family separation 00:08:50 - Wind River Ranch and the turn toward writing 00:24:44 - Survival mode and the loss of brotherhood 00:44:27 - Why internal battles still require a team 00:46:27 - Making the call before isolation takes over Links & Resources Veteran Suicide & Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1 Website: https://sawdustpublishing.com/product/the-spurs-of-service/?v=0b3b97fa6688 Follow Jacob Kelly on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/18eiDHkAiu/?mibextid=wwXIfr Follow Jacob Kelly on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jakekelly386 Follow Jacob Kelly on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jake-kelly-68274a93  

Isolation often grows after the structure and built-in community of military life disappear. Victor Bretting describes how B-Tex Ranch uses hunting as an invitation for veterans to reconnect, share stories, and return to the familiar camaraderie of being around others who served. Victor says a chance meeting with Gordon Melton of Hunting With Soldiers and Casey Allen of Cross Trail Outfitters redirected what he expected to be retirement. He explains how the ranch hosts donated hunts, pairs participants with guides, welcomes first-time hunters, and accommodates veterans with physical limitations. The conversation keeps returning to the campfire, where humor and shared experience can turn strangers into family. Scott and Victor also discuss veteran isolation, men's reluctance to talk about pain, public understanding of military sacrifice, faith, perseverance, and Victor's book The Man That I Would Become. Victor shares lessons he carried from his mother and his belief that a long life needs something to love and a reason to get up every morning. Timestamps: 00:03:47 - A chance meeting changes the ranch mission 00:08:55 - Hunting becomes an invitation to brotherhood 00:13:15 - Why men need to talk 00:26:37 - Freedom is not free 00:35:19 - Two reasons to keep getting up Links & Resources Veteran Suicide & Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1 Website: https://brettingtexanranch.com/ Follow B-Tex Ranch on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/btexranch Follow Victor Bretting on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/victorbretting/ Follow Victor Bretting on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victor-bretting/

Leaving the military can mean losing the responsibility you once carried, struggling to find meaningful work, or feeling disconnected from the people around you. Even with countless organizations dedicated to helping veterans, finding the right support can feel overwhelming. And sometimes, the biggest challenge is getting someone to listen. Recorded in person at the Military Influencer Conference (MIC), this special edition of Drive On Podcast brings together seven guests answering the same question: What challenge facing veterans deserves more attention, and what should the veteran listening know about it? Their responses reveal different sides of the veteran experience, along with a shared belief that veterans have the ability to help one another and influence meaningful change. Jesse Gould and Daniel O'Dell emphasize the power of veteran advocacy and personal stories to influence policies and raise awareness. Mike Nolan reminds veterans that their service matters, regardless of what they accomplished while wearing the uniform, and encourages them to lean on the bonds they built through service. Justin Rasik shares his personal experience of spending 17 years searching for something that worked for him, eventually finding help through 22Zero. His message encourages veterans who feel they've exhausted every option to keep looking for support. Chris Gonzalez challenges veterans to move beyond virtual connections and build real relationships in their communities. Greg Martin addresses veteran underemployment, the difficulty of moving from military leadership into civilian careers, and the importance of finding purpose outside the workplace. Bryan Anderson highlights inconsistencies across VA facilities while reminding veterans that support exists for challenges involving employment, finances, addiction, and mental health. These short conversations offer practical encouragement to speak up, reconnect with others, recognize the value of military service, and continue seeking help. The full interviews with these guests will be released on Drive On Podcast toward the end of this year and into early next year. Subscribe so you don't miss the rest of these conversations! Timestamps: 02:12 - Jesse Gould on the untapped power of veteran advocacy 03:13 - Mike Nolan on recognizing the value of your military service 05:31 - Justin Rasik on finding hope after years of searching for help 06:33 - Daniel O'Dell on how veteran stories can influence change 09:28 - Chris Gonzalez on rebuilding real community connections 10:26 - Greg Martin on veteran underemployment and finding purpose 12:18 - Bryan Anderson on inconsistent VA policies and available support Links & Resources Veteran Suicide & Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1 Military Influencer Conference: https://militaryinfluencer.com/

Leaving the military left Michael O'Dell without the identity and structure he had relied on throughout his Marine Corps service. Alcohol had already been a problem before he enlisted, and after two deployments to Iraq, his life moved through treatment, arrests, fatherhood, and eventually a prison sentence. Michael describes the jail visit when his father asked whether he was finally done living that way, the fear he felt when prison structure was replaced by freedom, and the unexpected chain of events that led him to Warriors Heart. Now ten years sober and serving as the organization's Chief Operating Officer, he explains why people cannot be forced into recovery, why the surrounding community matters, and how he came to see recovery as reclaiming relationships, finances, health, spirituality, and joy. The conversation also covers Warriors Heart's forty-two-day treatment program for veterans, active duty military, and first responders. Michael explains how VA Community Care referrals may cover the full stay, how employment protections and short-term disability can help make treatment possible, and how families can access Warriors Anonymous Al-Anon meetings and referrals to Project Sanctuary. Timestamps: 00:04:35 - Entering the Marine Corps with an alcohol problem 00:10:42 - Facing freedom after two years in prison 00:15:20 - The prison letter that opened a new path 00:28:55 - His father asks if he is finally done 00:39:10 - Redefining recovery as reclaiming what was lost Links & Resources Veteran Suicide & Crisis Line: Dial 988, then press 1 Website: https://www.warriorsheart.com/the-facility/ Follow Michael O'Dell on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/warriorsheart Follow Michael O'Dell on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/warriorshearthealing/ Follow Michael O'Dell on Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/warriorsheart22 Follow Michael O'Dell on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/warriors-heart/ ...

Read the full transcript [00:00:00] Scott DeLuzio: Military service can give you a mission and a clear sense of who you are, but when that identity is taken away before you’re ready, the loss can reach into every part of your life. A medical discharge, a health crisis, or a broken relationship can leave you facing a future that no longer resembles the one that you had planned. [00:00:21] Rebuilding begins when you stop. Allowing your rank, your work, your family roles, or other outside structures to define your entire identity. You can choose the person you wanna become and reinforce that identity through small, repeatable actions. Our guest today, Paul Miller, knows what it feels like to lose the ability to walk, leave the military before reaching retirement and watch several parts of his life collapse. [00:00:47] He shares how those experiences led him to create uncivilized rebirth, a framework centered on intentional identity visualization, daily discipline, and giving yourself enough grace to keep moving. [00:01:00] You will hear in this episode practical ways to begin rebuilding even during a season when something as small as making the bed feels like a victory. [00:01:09] Before we get into this episode though, I’d like to take a moment to raise awareness for the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation. This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington DC to honor the service members, families, and civilians who are impacted by the global war on terrorism. [00:01:24] This memorial will be both a tribute to those who served and a way to ensure that their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come. If you’d like to learn more or find out how you can support their mission, visit GWOT memorial foundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s episode. [00:01:40] [00:02:01] Scott DeLuzio: Hey, Paul. Welcome to the show. Really glad to have you here [00:02:05] Paul Miller: Man, I appreciate you having me on. This is, ~uh,~ really cool. Thank you [00:02:08] Scott DeLuzio: Y- yeah, no, absolutely. ~Um,~ before we jump into the conversation, for the listeners who are maybe just meeting you for the first time and not really familiar with you and who you are, can you share a little bit about who you are, your, your military background, and the stuff that you’re doing, ~uh,~ today? [00:02:22] Paul Miller: Yeah. So my name’s Paul Miller. Those are the sounds that were given to me at birth to identify this human body. ~Um,~ when I was like 16 or 17… No. Yeah, I decided to join the service. Joined when I was 18. I served for 16 years. I joined two weeks before 9/11. So, like, in my heart, it’s like I knew I joined for the right reasons. [00:02:47] Scott DeLuzio: Mm-hmm. Sure [00:02:48] Paul Miller: anyway, it wa- Well, it, like, lets me know that I didn’t join for some manipulation thing. I’m like… Anyway, served 16 [00:03:00] years. I did several tours in Iraq, a little bit of time in Kuwait. ~Um,~ I was infantry. ~Um,~ then I reclassed to combat medic. Then in about 2015, I came down with a rare disease, ~um,~ and I was in the Army National Guard, but I spent a lot of time on active duty orders for the war. [00:03:23] So there was, like, all this money floating around, you know, early on. So it’s like I got to spend a lot of time on active duty, which was good. And then in 2015, I got a rare diseas...

Read the full transcript 595 – Lee Stuckey=== [00:00:00] Scott DeLuzio: Coming home can leave a veteran carrying nightmares, feeling isolated, and feeling the pressure to look fine while everything underneath him is falling apart. Our guest today, Lee Stuckey, lived that reality after three Iraq deployments and an IED blast. At his lowest point, a phone call from his mother interrupted him as he was trying to take his own life. He eventually found a path back through service. The outdoors music, spiritual health, accountability, and self-assessment, that path became a hero. A community, Lee says, has served more than 13,000 veterans and first responders and helped prevent as far as he knows, more than as 600 suicides over 16 years. Lee shares how opening his farm to other veterans gave his pain a new direction. How Brazilian Juujitsu kept him connected to disciplined people and how a heroes four [00:01:00] pillars can help someone identify where life is breaking down. This episode will offer a look at rebuilding purpose, one decision and one relationship at a time. Before we get into this episode, though, I want to take a minute to raise awareness for the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation. This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington DC to honor the service members, families, and civilians who are impacted by the global war on terrorism. This memorial will be both a tribute to those who served and serve as a way to ensure that their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come. If you’d like to learn more or find out how you can support their mission, visit GWOT memorial foundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s episode. [00:01:58] Scott DeLuzio: Hey Lee, welcome to the [00:02:00] show. Really glad to have you here. [00:02:01] Lee Stuckey: Yeah, I’m so super excited to be on here, Scott. I appreciate the invitation. [00:02:05] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, you bet. ~Um,~ before we jump into the conversation, for the listeners who are, uh, maybe meeting you for the first time and not familiar with who you are, can you tell us a little bit about yourself? [00:02:14] Lee Stuckey: Yeah, so, so the condensed version is, uh, military school introduced me to the Marine Corps as a young wayward child. And, you know, mischievous, I tell everybody, mischievous, not malicious. I didn’t go outta my way to be like evil or, or create bad things. I was always the class clown, you know, just like to, to get in the middle of stuff. ~Uh,~ the teachers probably didn’t appreciate me at all of the ones I was asked to leave. And then eventually ended up at a place called Marion Military Institute, and that’s where I met my first Marine, who was a Staff Sergeant Sutton. Now, uh, when, when I left there, he was gunny, but just, just, I remember looking back, going through a lot of stuff in my life and getting into a lot of things. He carried himself in just a whole [00:03:00] different demeanor and a manner than everybody else around him. And he definitely stood out to me. And so fast forward to college, go to Auburn University, uh, make a zero really good at partying. Terrible at studying, uh, social butterfly with a bowl cut. I looked like Justin Bieber with the hair where you have to do this. And just a pudgy fraternity boy as a Sigma new at Auburn and just wasn’t going anywhere and, and really, you...

Read the full transcript [00:00:00] Scott DeLuzio: Combat does not stay neatly contained in the past. It can follow a veteran into work, marriage, parenthood, and the moments when the mind has nowhere left to hide. The hope that many veterans have is to reach a point where those experiences can be faced without letting them dictate every part of life. [00:00:19] Our guest today, Justin Morseth, shares how the Iraq invasion, moral injury, traumatic brain injury, and years of suppressing what happened overseas shaped his return home. He explains how treatment, prolonged exposure therapy, and finally allowing himself to be vulnerable helped him find a healthier version of himself. [00:00:41] He also shares in this episode the mission behind Pets Healing Vets, where veterans and shelter animals are matched and supported together. This conversation offers a direct look at combat, invisible wounds, and the difficult work of accepting help before the damage spreads further. [00:01:00] Before we get into this episode, though, I wanna take a moment to raise awareness for something I feel is deeply important to our community, the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation. [00:01:10] This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington, D.C. to honor the service members, families, and civilians who are impacted by the global war on terrorism. This memorial will be both a tribute to those who served and a way to ensure that their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come. [00:01:27] If you’d like to learn more or find out how you can support their mission, visit GWOTmemorialfoundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s episode. [00:01:35] [00:01:48] Scott DeLuzio: Hey, Justin, welcome to the show. Really glad to have you here [00:01:51] Justin Morseth: Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate it [00:01:54] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, no, and I appreciate you being here as well. ~Um, uh,~ for the listeners maybe who aren’t familiar with you and who you are, could you share a little bit [00:02:00] about, ~uh,~ who you are and, and, ~uh,~ your, a little bit about your background, ~uh,~ before we get started here, just to kinda set the stage for who we’re talking with? [00:02:06] Justin Morseth: Yeah, sure. ~Um,~ I am Justin Morseth. I, ~uh,~ am a former United States Army infantry officer, more notably known as, ~um,~ I was a rifle platoon leader with the 3rd Infantry Division during the initial ground invasion of Iraq. to joining the Army, I, ~uh,~ attended Denison University in Ohio, ~um,~ before I commissioned, and I grew up in Ohio. ~Um,~ currently I live in Bloomington, Indiana, where I do a lot of public speaking with the university about combat trauma and TBI and PTSD and moral injury and all things like that. And I’ve been doing that now for about six to eight years, and it’s been really, ~uh,~ rewarding for me, both, ~uh,~ for myself and for the students or law enforcement and all kinds of people that I usually, ~um,~ speak with [00:02:50] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, and you know, it, so you’ve been doing that for six to eight years. I’ve been doing this show for about seven years. I’m, I’m surprised it took this long for us to cross paths and, and, and get together on this. [00:03:00] But, ~uh, um,~ you know, I’m, I’m glad we’re here, and I’m glad we’re, we’re able to, ~uh,~ sit down and have a conversation here. [00:03:03] ~But, um,...

Read the full transcript [00:00:00] Scott DeLuzio: Coming home can leave you with a job, a family, and a life that looks fine from the outside, while the structure, identity, and sense of purpose that you had in the military feel like they disappeared overnight. That isolation can get dangerous when meaningful connection is missing and people only check in after something has already gone wrong. [00:00:21] Our guest today, Army veteran Sean Dillard, knows that struggle personally. After years of feeling disconnected, an injury and a period of heavy drinking pushed him into one of the darkest moments of his life. What helped pull him forward was connection, family, service, and eventually a rowing mission built around giving veterans a reason to show up for one another. [00:00:42] In this episode, you’ll hear why Sean puts so much value on everyday connection, how his son became part of the mission, and why he encourages veterans looking for purpose to connect with communities that already exist. Before we get into this episode, though, I’d like to take a moment to raise awareness for the Global War on Terrorism [00:01:00] Memorial Foundation. [00:01:01] This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington, D.C. to honor the service members, families, and civilians who are impacted by the global war on terrorism. This memorial will be both a tribute to those who served and a way to ensure that their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come. [00:01:17] If you’d like to learn more or find out how you can support their mission, visit GWOTmemorialfoundation.org. Now, let’s get into today’s episode. [00:01:25] [00:01:38] Scott DeLuzio: Hey Sean, welcome to the show. Really glad to have you here. [00:01:42] Sean Dillard: ~Uh, ~super excited to be here. [00:01:43] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. ~Uh, ~hey, ~um, ~for the listeners who may not know about you yet, ~uh, ~would you mind taking a minute just to introduce yourself, talk, talk through your, you know, army service and, you know, kind of what, what led you to where you are today? [00:01:56] Sean Dillard: ~Uh, ~so my name is Sean Dillard. ~Uh, ~I’m an army veteran. I served from [00:02:00] 2006 to 2011. ~Uh, ~including a deployment to Iraq. ~Um, ~I was, ~uh, ~stationed in Germany for about two years, ~uh, ~or almost two years. And then, ~uh, ~went to Iraq and then went back to Germany and then came out and did a little stint of the National Guard for a year from 2010 to 2011. ~Um, ~so yeah. [00:02:21] Scott DeLuzio: Cool. Cool. And, ~um, ~so we’re gonna kind of jump into, ~uh, ~talk about your, your, ~uh, ~work today that you’re, you’re doing now and, and all that, but. Just kind of as a, you know, I guess general background information, ~um, ~when you’re looking at the veteran mental health and suicide prevention programs and all those kind of things that are out there today, what do you think people outside the veteran community often misunderstand about Things like, ~uh, ~you know, isolation purpose, the, the things that continue to affect veterans after service. [00:02:51] Sean Dillard: So, you know, I, I think the biggest misunderstanding is that people assume that war ends when they just come home. ~Um, ~[00:03:00] the, the truth is many veterans lose more than a job when they leave the military. ~Uh, ~they lose their structure, ~uh, ~their identity, purpose, you know,...

Read the full transcript [00:00:00] Scott DeLuzio: Leaving the military can be a tough transition. You might be carrying physical pain, survivor’s guilt, and wondering where your skills fit now that you’re out. The question becomes: What’s next for me? Where do you belong, and how do you keep moving forward? Our guest today, Dwight Boddorf’s story, is one of finding that answer the hard way. [00:00:19] He went from being homeless at 16 to joining the Marine Corps, surviving a roadside bomb in Iraq, and living with years of lasting physical pain. After his service, he spent nearly a decade helping other veterans navigate benefits before stepping into local government. Along the way, he discovered that the same skills used in combat can make a real difference in small-town leadership. [00:00:40] That experience eventually led him to write The Municipal Battlefield, a guide shaped by the real challenges leaders face during late-night emergencies. This episode is about surviving injury, finding purpose again, and realizing that even when things feel uncertain after the military, you still have a place and a mission. [00:00:59] Before we begin, I [00:01:00] want to take a moment to raise awareness for something deeply important to our community, the Global War on Terrorism Memorial Foundation. This organization is working to build a permanent national memorial in Washington, D.C. to honor the service members, families, and civilians impacted by the global war on terrorism. [00:01:19] This memorial will be both a tribute to those who served and a way to ensure their sacrifices are recognized and remembered for generations to come. If you want to learn more or find out how you can support the mission, visit GWOTmemorialfoundation.org. [00:01:34] [00:01:47] Scott DeLuzio: Hey, Dwight. Welcome to the show. Really glad to have you here [00:01:50] Dwight Boddorf: Thank you for having me. I’m, I’m looking forward to talking with you [00:01:53] Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. ~Um, ~yeah, like we were talking a little bit before we started recording here and, ~um, ~you know, we have a lot to talk about, I’m sure, and we’ll, we’ll get [00:02:00] into, ~uh, ~the conversation in just a minute here. But before we do, could you, for the guests who… Or sorry, for the listeners who don’t know you and, and your background, ~uh, ~could you just give us a quick, quick, ~uh, ~rundown on, on who you are and, and who we’re talking to here? [00:02:13] Dwight Boddorf: Yeah, I’d be happy to. ~Uh, ~my name is Dwight Boddorf So I live in the greater Pittsburgh area in Pennsylvania. I’m a Marine Corps veteran, served in Operation Iraqi Freedom. I was wounded pretty severely with a roadside bomb, so life didn’t quite pan out the way that I had planned. ~uh, ~pivoted from there, worked with veterans for a number of years, ~um, ~in government and non-government roles until it led me to my kinda current calling, which is municipal government. you know, I’ve lived in the Pennsylvania area most of my life except for when I was in the military, ~um, ~serving with 2nd Light Armored Reconnaissance out of North Carolina. I am a Stanford Hoover veteran fellow, where I’m focusing on figuring out pathways for service members who are [00:03:00] transitioning out of the service to get into local government roles, and a recently published author of “The Municipal Battlefield.” [00:03:05] Scott DeLuzio: So you got a, a lot of plates that you’re spinning, and it...