REVEALED: The Mysterious, Completely Unidentifiable Reason Straight Women Don’t Have Good Sex

Apologies, and love, to our friends who were born in Florida. We hope your midwife was an alligator. This week:  Libs freak out over a completely unserious proposal involving Alcatraz Prince Harry’s body language makes it seem like he means what he’s saying Broke dudes are a disease Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3  And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We recorded this on Tuesday so Maura could go on a fail-free vacation. Facts aren’t real anymore anyway. This week:   The Fail attacks a woman who is now dead for the crime of having been human   Amazon is at war with America, except actually nothing is happening  Meghan Markle insults the Royal Family by being happy  Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3  And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Stars, stripes, fertility rates, and fails.   This week:  We need babies! Now! Not in a weird way! Everyone is so mean to JK Rowling, a mean person  Las Vegas is scary and the hills have eyes :(  Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3    And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re putting the ass back in astronaut, folks. This week:    Gayle King and Lauren Sanchez clap back at the people who are making excellent points about how stupid this was  Katy Perry’s makeup really stuck in place for 10 whole minutes  Aimee Lou Wood cried and won’t tell us why :(  Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3    And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week:   Anderson Cooper got BRUTALLY WOKED  Carrie Coon is actively mean to Meghan McCain and also Marvel  THERE ARE NO DIRE WOLVES!!!!!!!!!!  Bonus story: Maura’s Election Day reporting for Slate is finally out in the world. Give it a listen! Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3    And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

LOWER THE COST OF JAM, YOU COWARDS This week:   The jam heard ‘round the world sold out immediately. Bad?  The little Constitutional loophole that’s not illegal or disingenuous if you believe in yourself  Doing murder is really about the friends you make along the way  Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3    And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week:  DOGE flops and the Fail admits it  Gwyneth Paltrow’s fake beef with Meghan Markle RFK Jr. is taking your Skittles (not)  Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3    And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Fail o’ the Irish?   This week:   Meghan Markle’s haters point out a very minor detail about very festive waffles  The astronauts “stranded” in space are home and not fighting secret health battles Gene Hackman chose Alzheimer’s and you can too Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3    And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We love fails and potato skins. Fight us about it. This week:  DOGE is not, in fact, giving us thousands of dollars  Your dentist knows about your sex life and hates you for it Jackie Kennedy’s bonkers diet is not #goals Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3    And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Guess you could say Meghan has gotten herself in quite the jam.   This week:   The cinematic Luigi sex tapes are out there (maybe) A beat-for-beat hypothetical scenario of how a nuclear holocaust would definitely happen  With loathe, Meghan    Find your hosts on Twitter @kristenmeinzer and @maurafcurrie, or Instagram @k10meinzer and @maura_frances, to share your feelings on these daily fails — we know you have them. Join us on Patreon for articles and photos at the $5 level (“Gutter”), and all of that plus an extra episode each week at the $10 level (“Tampongate”)! We’d love to have you, and your support <3    And if you like our show, let us know by leaving a great rating and review wherever you listen.  Maura has a new hobby and now has to say: none of her comments should be construed as professional or legal advice, and her opinions do not reflect those of any institutions with which she’s affiliated.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices