What Does Resilience Cost?

What looks like a promise might just turn out to be a trap. In this episode of curiosity not judgment, Birga shares an unexpected encounter with a spider on an early morning walk, and now it prompted her to think about the things that lure us in. From the promises of products and personal transformation to the manipulation that can lead to human trafficking, we all have vulnerabilities that influence what catches our attention.

Have you ever given much thought to how much you're paying to store your memories? Photos, documents, writing projects, and other pieces of your life may be tucked away in a storage unit or saved in digital spaces, but keeping them often comes at a cost. How much are you willing to pay to preserve those memories? And perhaps the bigger question is, will the next generation even want them when you're gone?

In this pre-dawn episode of Curiosity not Judgment, Birga explores the concept of fairness and what we really mean when we talk about treating people equally. She also invites listeners to get curious about their own beliefs and expectations surrounding fairness, particularly when it comes to how we believe we should be treated.

This episode of Curiosity Not Judgment looks a little different.In August, Birga's husband, Bob, experienced a heart attack that led to hospitalization and ultimately quintuple bypass surgery. What followed was a whirlwind of uncertainty, recovery, and some unexpected opportunities to reflect on life.In this episode, Bob joins Birga to share his experience, from the first signs that something was wrong to the realities of open-heart surgery and the challenges of recovery. Together, they talk about what it's like when life changes in an instant, and how an experience like this can shift perspectives on what really matters.

Some moments have a way of feeling like they will last forever. Heartbreak. A diagnosis. A mistake we can’t take back. A professional failure or personal embarrassment that suddenly feels like the only thing anyone will ever remember about us.In this episode, we’re asking what happens when we interrupt that certainty with a little curiosity. Is right now actually forever? What do we know about what comes next—and what are we simply predicting from inside a painful moment?Maybe we don’t need to convince ourselves that everything will be okay. Maybe we just need to leave a little room for the possibility that we don’t know how the story ends.

We spend a lot of time thinking about what we want to say or create, but maybe not enough time asking: Who is this actually for?In this episode, we talk about audience—knowing who you’re trying to reach, what happens when something you create lands in front of an audience you never intended, and how much responsibility we have for that.Then we turn the question around. Because we aren’t just creators. We’re also the audience. Every day, someone is trying to get our attention, influence what we think, sell us something, or convince us to keep watching.So how do we become a little more curious about not only what we’re putting into the world, but what we’re allowing in?

What does it mean to flourish?It seems like a simple question, until you actually try to answer it.In this episode, we talk about what flourishing might look like in our own lives—and why it may be worth coming up with a definition for ourselves rather than simply accepting someone else’s.But then the question gets bigger. What happens when we move beyond individual flourishing? Can a family flourish? A workplace? A neighborhood or community? And what does it require from us when our own flourishing is connected to the flourishing of the people around us?We don’t have a tidy answer. But we think it’s a question worth getting curious about.

A recent comment about Curiosity Not Judgement stung more than I expected. But it also got me thinking about the climate we find ourselves in right now.We’re quick to be angry, quick to make assumptions, and often even quicker to tell people exactly what we think. But what would happen if we got better at asking sincere questions?In this short episode, I talk about why I still believe curiosity matters. Not because a good question will solve every disagreement, but because the right question, asked with genuine interest, can change a conversation. It can change a relationship. And maybe, little by little, it can even change the climate of the places we find ourselves.

What does it mean to be resilient? And is resilience something we can actually practice?In this episode, we explore resilience through the lens of first responders, who experience repeated exposure to trauma, and then turn the question toward the rest of us. Can we intentionally build our capacity to handle the hard, unexpected parts of life? And how do you prepare for experiences you can’t possibly anticipate?We also wrestle with a question that doesn’t get asked nearly as often: What does resilience cost us? When we become really good at pushing through, adapting and carrying on, is there a point when resilience comes at a price?

We’ve all been conditioned to ask routine questions and offer routine answers as part of everyday social interaction. But what happens when we choose to go a little deeper?In today’s conversation, we explore what it looks like to replace polite exchanges with genuine curiosity and make real connection a priority. We also consider why this matters even more in our interactions with children, who notice quickly whether we’re truly listening or simply going through the motions.Sometimes connection begins with asking a better question, and caring enough to hear the answer.