When "Did You Work Out?" Feels Like an Attack

Hard things don't get easier when we pretend they aren't hard — they get easier when we stop wishing they were different.In this solo 5x5, Ben answers one listener question from each of the five factors: dealing with a chaotic home situation with a napping toddler, chasing a federal special agent fitness standard, eating clean on the road, deciding whether to have more kids in your 40s, and navigating a child's fear of the dark.Acceptance is not approval. When we stop spending energy wishing our circumstances were different, we free that energy for actual solutions. That's the thread running through all five questions — and the foundational move of the Awareness → Intention → Action cycle.🖐 We love your questions!👉🏼 Get the full Listener's Guide here❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start hereSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How much responsibility do we actually carry for where our teenagers end up — and how much is simply out of our hands?In this episode, we dig into a powerful listener question from David about parental influence, the six factors that shape teenagers, and the three things fathers can genuinely control: modeling, connection, and agency.We explore why control and influence are two very different tools, why unconditional love may be the single most important input a parent can offer, and why the real enemy isn't bad peers or broken environments — it's an ego that's never learned it's safe to struggle.👉🏼 Get the full Listener's Guide here❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start here!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do you do when the person who loves you most says something that makes you feel shame — even when they don't mean it that way?In this episode, we answer a question from Chase Club member Ashton, who's 31 weeks pregnant and navigating the emotional complexity of a husband who keeps checking in on her workouts.We explore the gap between what someone actually says and the story we tell ourselves about it, why seasons of life demand fundamentally different things from us, and how to communicate your real needs clearly and without judgment.👉🏼 Get the full Listener's Guide here❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start hereSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Twenty tactics. Five factors. One episode worth pulling back from the archives.In this replay, we walk through the four highest-leverage actions you can take in each of the five key areas of life — Move, Sleep, Eat, Think, and Connect — and unpack the why behind each one.Drift is the enemy of excellence, and this episode is one of the sharpest tools we've built to fight it. You'll leave with a concrete checklist of daily behaviors designed to close the gap between where you are and where you want to be.👉🏼 Get the full Listener's Guide here❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start hereSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the thing overwhelming your kids isn't screens — it's a culture of too much?In this episode, Patrick sits down with Kim John Payne, author of Simplicity Parenting, to explore why children today are exhibiting what used to be considered trauma responses, and what parents can actually do about it.We explore the five causes of childhood overwhelm, why the antidote starts with the parents — not the kids — and how defining "enoughness" for yourself is the most powerful act of social activism a parent can make.👉🏼 Get the full Listener's Guide here❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start here!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is the label "high performer" quietly holding you back from becoming one?In this episode, Patrick unpacks four lessons from the 21-day High Performance Challenge — and makes the case that high performance isn't a status reserved for athletes and CEOs. It's a set of actions anyone can adopt.From Tony Robbins' "musts vs. shoulds" to Kobe Bryant's marathon gym session, we connect high performance to the core belief that true excellence is something we pursue for others, not for ourselves.❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start hereSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does it actually take to connect — with your kids, your partner, your community, and the strangers you meet every day?In this episode, Ben answers five listener questions on the CONNECT factor, from parenting across different households to rebuilding friendships in your 40s and 50s.You'll learn why kids become what they repeatedly experience (not what you tell them), how to distinguish a values divergence from a seasonal slump, why adult friendships require intention and initiative, how to create hope and agency in a loved one without becoming the health police, and which questions actually open people up.🙋🏻‍♂️ Send us a Question👉🏼 Get the full Listener's Guide here❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start hereSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the problem isn't your program — it's how you're showing up for it?In this episode, Ben and Jamison break down 10 training hygiene habits that can transform your results, regardless of what you're training for, where you train, or what program you follow.From intentional intensity and the recovery-adaptation curve, to learning to breathe, filming yourself, and never negotiating mid-workout — these principles serve the Train factor in the Five Factors framework.The goal isn't to do more. It's to finally get what you came for.👉🏼 Get the full Listener's Guide here❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start hereSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the guilt you're calling loyalty is the very thing keeping you stuck?In this episode, we answer a question from Chase Club member Mike about whether to switch gyms — and it turns out, it's not really about gyms at all.We unpack the difference between loyalty (a choice) and guilt (a feeling), explore the three pillars that make any community worth staying in, and give you a framework for knowing when it's time to move on — and how to do it with integrity.👉🏼 Get the full Listener's Guide here❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start hereSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if raising a child well means releasing your vision of who they're supposed to become — and learning instead to see who they actually are?Patrick is joined this week by Christina Watka, an installation artist whose entire practice is built around entering a space without a plan, noticing what's there, and letting the work lead.In this Raise episode, they explore how that same artistic openness transforms the way you parent: the role of noticing, the power of solitude, and what it means to receive your children instead of trying to shape them.👉🏼 Get the full Listener's Guide here❤️‍🔥 Free Newsletter & the Chase Club👋 New to Chasing Excellence? Start hereSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.