116. Why is my partner defensive and how to change it

When couples start therapy they often tell me they want to communicate better, have tools for how to communicate, want the relationship to be more peaceful, and want a level of respect and kindness.   Do you relate?  I know I want a peaceful relationship with respect and kindness. What wonderful goals for these couples.  In this episode, we cover 3 reasons you’re having conflicts.  This podcast is for informational purposes only. 

A cheat sheet of loving phrases. In this podcast, I cover sweet-nothing examples. I give you a list of 21 sweet nothings you could try to see if they work for you.   This podcast is for informational purposes only.

If you and your partner want to improve your communication in 2024, here are 4 common sticking points that you will need to overcome. January is a time of New Year resolutions, commitments to do better, and learning something new. Here are 4 things to consider if you and your partner want to improve your communication in 2024.   This podcast is for informational purposes only.

If you are wondering if you and your partner are compatible, or if you should break up, Alexandra has questions to consider to help you decide if you want to continue in your relationship.   This podcast is for educational purposes only.

If you are looking for a sustainable, long-term relationship, this is the episode for you. Dr. Gottman reviews how to find safety and security in a love relationship. This podcast is for informational purposes only.

If you are looking for a sustainable, long-term relationship, this is the episode for you. Dr. Gottman reviews how to find safety and security in a love relationship. This podcast is for informational purposes only.

After being sleep-deprived, I was reminded about how important sleep is to a happy, healthy and harmonious relationship. At risk of sharing overly simplistic suggestions, in this podcast we are talking about the importance of good sleep hygiene and the impact on a relationship.   This podcast is for informational purposes only.  

Tanner and Anne found themselves disconnected and hopeless as Tanner struggled with chronic pain. In this episode, they share how Tanner healed from his pain, and how their relationship healed too. Both Social Workers, Tanner and Anne share a unique perspective how pain impacts not only the person suffering but also the relationship. In this episode we cover: - Relationship healing - Structural pain vs. somatic pain - Mind-body concerns - How understanding led to healing - Communication as a couple - Overcoming hardship as a couple   Website: https://www.painpsychotherapy.ca/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/painpsychotherapy/   This podcast is for informational purposes only.

Have you tried to raise an issue to your partner and rather than hear you, they whine, make excuses, or worse – they turn the issue on you? Maybe you are the person who responds in these ways, and you don’t know why you do this.   In this podcast I will cover the common reasons people are defensive, and how to overcome it. In this podcast we discuss: - 5 reasons people are defensive - The role of criticism - What to do if you’re defensive - Tools to change defensiveness - Tools to decrease the chances your partner is defensive     This podcast is for informational purposes only.  

Do you and your partner struggle to communicate? Have you ever experienced… - Things you thought were small issues turn into a blowout fight. - Your partner tells you they feel criticized. - You see your partner walk away in conflict and it makes you upset.         - You’re unsure what is going wrong and why you are fighting so much with the person you love. In this episode, we are going to cover what Drs. John and Julie Gottman studied relationships and identified what they call the Four Horsemen of conflict discussions. When these communications styles make up the majority of interactions, the relationship breaks down. When couples come to me for communication issues, most of the time these four communication patterns are dominating their communication and their relationship.   Link to Communication Cures https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures   This podcast is for informational purposes only.