Shattered

"holy fuk. I don't know what just happened". My outro was an old recording, my joy after a session. On a current path of taking a vow, taking refuge, I am also experiencing impermanence, the pain, I don't need to attach to the suffering. Metta Meta Gassho GC

One glass of wine, his 6 audios, and I spiral.

My sensory sexperience likely because of Autism, my nervous system does need aftercare. I'm not wired for hookhumps and dumps. Do you get human hangovers and what helps you?

Because of the forced change from anchor how I originally recorded, my original exit audio is lost forever. Nonetheless I'm finding newness and comfort in change...pssst I have *presence* for you, come here, now for gifts. ;)

Figuring stuff out: technical, relational, intentional pause for self with self. Nothing serious and serious. Found audios late 2019 and 2022. latter of a shared poem.

Traumatic events happened. I can see my brain wanting to transfer shock and pain to other places; to new people, to current and past people. A kernel of logic remains, now is the worst time to anal'ize I actually need professional help I think I'm experiencing actual post traumatic stress.

Dark night of the soul I've been meeting my pain along with Ram Dass to remind me just how caught up in the game I am. A quote I've memorized, a reminder I'm an environment, a vibration of love.I sing a favorite of mine that he sings. Accidental brown noise when my heater kicks on.Thank you for being here,Gassho

The "cumpuss 2020" was a fun inside joke when my world is throwing me I need to be thrown and tossed!Life being rough lately, I surrender to not knowing. Also with the Autism I wouldn't mind having a seeing eyed golden retriever that would also ruff me up and cuddle with me on my lap; extra support when my hair is on fire- I forget to take care of myself during a nervous system collapse. thanks for being here-until the flip.

Dear Men, I'm wanting to date and eventually be part of a loving, sexually playful, growth mindset partnership. Yet when sex is included, seems this is all that is offered. Are you one trick ponies? Can't think to reveal other sides to you beyond just sex? Unable to be authentic because you included sex? What gives? Should I not have sex with you while in a dating phase- (I need to make sure we're sexually compatible though!)? Signed H.O.H. (and I love trees the reference is the initials!) - horny open heart

an inkling to get burned, heavy lifting of emotional balls banging through walls thanks for being here