Parallel Recovery: You Don’t Have to Fix Them to Heal Yourself

How to Calm the Nervous System When Alcohol Is Calling   When alcohol calls, it rarely announces itself as a craving. It shows up as stress. Restlessness. A tight, buzzing body that wants relief now.   In this episode, I’m joined by Danica Eakman — a sound bath practitioner and reiki master who trained under one of the pioneers of sound healing — to explore something most people overlook when trying to change their relationship with alcohol: the nervous system.   This isn’t a soft, abstract conversation about vibes or spirituality. It’s a grounded, practical discussion about why willpower collapses when the body feels unsafe — and why learning to regulate your nervous system may matter more than trying to think your way out of drinking.   We talk about sound baths not as a luxury experience, but as a training ground for stillness. A place to practise safety, presence, and “the pause” — especially for people who live at full speed and use alcohol as a way to switch off.   If you’ve ever understood what to do intellectually, yet still found yourself reaching for a drink, this episode will land.   Key moments from the episode: • Why alcohol isn’t the real problem, but a solution to unprocessed pain — and how that reframes alcohol-reliance • How sound and vibration calm the nervous system and create a genuine pause between trigger and action • Why willpower fails when the body feels unsafe, no matter how strong your intentions are • How to practise “the pause” in real time when stress, anxiety, or urges spike • Why embodied practices can help people who live at 100 miles an hour learn how to feel safe without escape   This episode is for anyone who’s tired of fighting themselves — and ready to learn how to feel safe without reaching for alcohol.   👉 If this episode resonated, subscribe to the 1000 Days Sober Podcast and leave a rating — it helps more people find these conversations. 👉 You can also find Danica on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/liora.kirkland/   Much Love & STRIVE On! Lee   #1000DaysSoberPodcast, #LeeDavy, #STRIVE, #STRIVEMethod, #AFAF, #AlcoholAwareness, #NervousSystemRegulation, #SoundHealing, #Embodiment, #AlcoholFreeLife, #SelfLeadership

In this powerful conversation, Lee Davy is joined by Lisa Katona Smith, founder of Parallel Recovery and author of Parallel Recovery: A Guide for Those Who Love Someone Struggling with Substance Use Disorder. This episode is for anyone who loves someone who is struggling — partners, parents, sons, daughters — and feels exhausted, confused, or stuck in cycles of fixing, fear, and reactivity. Lisa brings clarity without blame, compassion without collapse, and a framework that finally gives families permission to stop fixing and start healing. Together, Lee and Lisa explore how real change doesn’t come from control, lectures, or shame — but from working on yourself, regulating your nervous system, and learning how to love better. What We Cover in This Episode What Parallel Recovery actually is — and why families need their own recovery process, not just the person who’s struggling Why waiting for someone else to change keeps the entire family system stuck How control, fixing, and over-functioning are fear-driven responses, not acts of love The shift from reactivity to responsiveness — and why this changes everything How Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps families understand PARTS, SELF, shame, and protection What “loving better” really means — and why doing less can sometimes help more How generational patterns, legacy burdens, and family beliefs shape alcohol use and coping Why slowing down is often the fastest way to create real, sustainable change About Lisa Katona Smith Lisa Katona Smith is the founder of Parallel Recovery and a leading voice in helping families navigate substance use and mental health challenges without blame or burnout. Her work empowers families to focus on sustainability, connection, and self-leadership — rather than control and collapse. Her book, Parallel Recovery, offers practical tools for families who want to heal themselves while staying connected to the people they love. Resources & Links 📘 Buy Lisa’s book Parallel Recovery: A Guide for Those Who Love Someone Struggling with Substance Use Disorder Available on Amazon 🌐 Learn more about Lisa’s work lisakatonasmith.com 📸 Follow Lisa on Instagram @parallelrecovery 🎤 Watch Lisa’s TED Talk The Power of Parallel Recovery Need Support With Your Own Relationship With Alcohol? If alcohol feels louder than you’d like it to be — or you’re quietly exhausted by it — you don’t have to figure it out alone. 📧 Email Lee directly at [email protected] No labels. No pressure. Just an honest conversation.

#1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE   What happens when you’re growing, healing, evolving… and your partner isn’t?   In this powerful conversation, I sit down with licensed psychotherapist, master certified consciousness coach, and clinical hypnotherapist Casey Stevens to explore what really happens inside relationships when one person begins to wake up — and the other stays exactly where they are.   If you’ve ever felt torn between loving someone and slowly losing yourself… this episode will feel like someone finally turned the lights on.   Here’s what we dive into:   • Why “inviting” your partner into growth works — and “dragging” them never does • The dignity of someone’s own process, and how over-functioning destroys safety • How nervous system regulation shapes every argument, rupture, and repair • Why addiction, gaming, workaholism, or alcohol often block intimacy at its root • How to know the difference between misaligned values and a partner who is willing, but wounded   If your partner drinks, disconnects, distracts, or shuts down — and you’re carrying the emotional load — this is your permission slip to stop abandoning yourself and start leading with SELF.   💜 Follow the 1000 Days Sober Podcast for more conversations like this. 💜 Share this episode far and wide — you never know who needs to hear it. 💜 To learn more about Casey’s work, you can find her on Instagram @ShrinkBigger.   Much Love & STRIVE On! Lee

High performers think they should have everything handled — except this one thing. In this conversation, James Swanwick breaks down why entrepreneurs, executives, doctors, lawyers, investors, and other high achievers get trapped in alcohol-reliance… and why quitting feels harder for them than anyone else.   Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:   • The hidden emotional drivers behind high achievers’ drinking — stress, regret, unmet expectations, and the belief “I should be further ahead by now” • Why willpower destroys long-term success, and James’ “flipperooni” method that rewires your desire at the root • How cultural conditioning, parents, celebrities, films, music and “smiling assassins” keep even intelligent people stuck • Why thinking about drinking (even when you’re not drinking) drains your cognitive bandwidth and hurts marriage, parenting, and business performance • The identity shift that terrifies high performers — and how James helps clients build a new SELF-led identity without alcohol • What actually happens when you stop drinking: clarity, sleep, weight loss, emotional stability, and better financial decisions • Why high achievers transform faster and more completely when they join a like-minded tribe who hold them accountable   If this episode lands for you, support the show:   Subscribe to the 1000 Days Sober Podcast so you never miss an episode. Rate and leave a review — your feedback helps more people find this work. Comment and share this episode with someone who needs it. Follow @leedavycoaching for the alternative view on everything alcohol-free. Follow James at @jamesswanwick on Instagram and learn more at Alcohol-Free Lifestyle.   #1000DaysSoberPodcast, #LeeDavy, #STRIVE, #JamesSwanwick, #AlcoholFreeLifestyle, #QuitDrinking, #AlcoholAwareness, #HighAchievers, #SelfLedLife

Who Am I Without Alcohol? Fitting In, ADHD & Alcohol-Free Sexiness With Keelie Louise   You’re scared that without alcohol… you won’t fit in, you won’t be fun, and you won’t even know who you are.   Keelie Louise (aka The Sober Hype Girl) started drinking at 13 and stopped at 38. For most of her life she believed alcohol was the only time she felt free, fun, sexy, and like “herself.” In this conversation, we rip that story apart and rebuild it from the ground up.   We go deep into what really happens when you take alcohol out of the picture: identity, relationships, sex, energy, ADHD, anxiety, depression, dating, divorce, the whole lot.   If alcohol has become your personality, this one will sting in all the right ways.   Here’s what we talk about:   • Why people are terrified to ask: “Who am I without alcohol?” • How drinking to “fit in” slowly proves you never actually fitted in at all • The big fear of not being “fun” anymore – and what real fun looks like alcohol-free • Going from black-and-white existence to “life in colour” after four years without drinking • ADHD, anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts – and why alcohol felt like fake freedom • How energy, sleep, food, and movement change when you stop poisoning your system • The paradox of friendships and social circles when you remove alcohol from your life • Boredom fears, 30 days versus 90 days, and why most people never give themselves a real chance • What “sexy” looks like drunk vs what sexy looks like when you actually like yourself • Sober sex, intimacy, validation and using sex as a way to feel “enough” • Masculine and feminine dynamics, and why so many relationships fracture when one person grows • How to know when a relationship is over, and why your body often tells the truth before your mind does • Dating alcohol-free, non-negotiables, boundaries and why meeting at bars stopped making sense • Why coaching and community matter when you don’t even know who you are without the drink • Practical first steps if you suspect alcohol is the problem (and why you can “always go back” – but probably won’t want to)   If you’re asking yourself, “Who will I be without alcohol?” this episode gives you a brutally honest, hopeful look at what’s on the other side.   Subscribe to the 1000 Days Sober Podcast and share this episode with one person who is terrified they won’t fit in if they stop drinking.   And if you want help understanding your relationship with alcohol – and how to change it – email me at [email protected]   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #AlcoholFree #AlcoholRecovery #AlcoholAwareness #AlcoholFreeLife #StopDrinking #MindfulDrinking #TheSoberHypeGirl #KeelieLouise #ADHD #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth #Relationships #DatingAlcoholFree #MasculineAndFeminine #SelfWorth #HealingJourney #PersonalGrowth #LifeInColour

What happens when you finally grow out of a version of yourself that no longer fits?   In this intimate conversation with poet Roberto “Bert” Pastori, we explore the messy, chaotic, beautiful journey from drinking as an identity to discovering a life defined by consciousness, creativity, and genuine connection.   Bert and I dig into why alcohol felt like freedom when we were young, how masculinity traps men into emotional silence, and what really happens when you outgrow your friend group but stay in the same body, the same culture, and the same expectations.   This one goes deep into identity, community, fear, creativity, and the Liquid Lie that tells us alcohol is necessary for art, love or belonging.   If you’ve ever wondered why it’s so hard to “leave things behind” — or why becoming AFAF forces you to confront the parts of your life you could previously drink away — this conversation will resonate.   Discussion Points   • How alcohol becomes part of your identity long before you notice it happening • The romantic lie linking creativity with drinking • Chaos, noise and blurriness — and why some of us found comfort in it • Why men drink to express affection they’re too afraid to show sober • How outgrowing your friend group creates guilt, shame and disconnection • Authenticity vs. the “act” we play when others are drunk • Neuroception, safety and why drunk behaviour activates old survival patterns • Why giving up alcohol often reveals hidden fears around uncertainty and control • The loneliness of becoming more conscious when others stay the same • Why young people are rejecting drinking and seeking sober spaces • How writing offers a gateway into your inner world • Poetry as a record of being alive — and why so many ex-drinkers rediscover it • The Liquid Lie’s influence on artists, musicians and the myth of needing substances • Mortality, memory, blackouts and the terrifying fear of what you might have done • Friendship, community, trust — and how to build relationships as an adult without alcohol Connect with Bert Buy Graveyards on Other Planets wherever you get your books. Or order directly from Parthian: parthianbooks.com CTA   If you want a unique perspective on alcohol reliance and living a SELF-led life, follow me on Instagram at @leedavycoaching.   If you want a community that will help you break free from alcohol and stay free, join the STRIVE Discord Community.   And please support Bert’s work by buying Graveyards on Other Planets. You’ll love it.   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #AlcoholFree #AlcoholReliance #Creativity #Poetry #RecoveryJourney #MenAndAlcohol #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #ConsciousLiving #LiquidLie #SobrietyStories #WritersLife #Cardiff #SelfLedLife

When your faith tells you your identity is a sin—where do you turn? In this deeply human conversation, Sean Hemeon shares what it was like to grow up gay in the Mormon Church, find temporary relief in alcohol, and eventually reclaim his spirituality, creativity, and SELF.   We talk about: • Growing up gay in the Mormon Church and the shame that shaped his early years • How alcohol became both a mask and a form of relief • Losing faith—and finding a deeper spirituality beyond religion • Sobriety and self-acceptance as acts of radical love • What it means to be a sober actor in Hollywood • Why creativity without substances is the truest expression of the SELF   This episode is for anyone who’s ever felt “different,” hidden behind a mask, or searched for belonging in all the wrong places.   If Sean’s story resonates, please share this episode with someone who needs it—and if you need help becoming alcohol-free-as-f***, reach out to me at [email protected].   You can contact Sean Hemeon directly at [email protected].   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #LivingASelfLedLife #SobrietyJourney #FaithAndIdentity #SpiritualAwakening #AlcoholFree #QueerRecovery #MormonFaith #SelfAcceptance #EmotionalHealing #CreativityAndSobriety #HollywoodSobriety

What if the “worst” years of your life were actually the beginning of your healing?   In this conversation with Lindsey Van Wagner, author of Spirit Vigilante, we explore how redefining addiction as sickness, not badness can open the door to grace, self-understanding, and freedom. Lindsey shares her raw story of living with bipolar II disorder, the lies she told to survive, and how she learned to turn self-hatred into self-compassion.   We dive into: – The Lost Years — why reframing chaos as illness changed everything – The Forever Question — how to stop obsessing about never again and win today instead – Lies as a Second Job — the freedom that comes when you stop managing alibis – Willingness and Surrender — how to put your ego down without putting yourself down – Inside-Out Living — taking your power back from partners, parties, and promotions   If you’re struggling with alcohol-reliance and want freedom without shame, reach out to me at [email protected]. To grab Lindsey’s book Spirit Vigilante, you’ll find it on Amazon, and you can follow her journey on Instagram @spiritvigilante.   Much love & STRIVE on! – Lee   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #SpiritVigilante #AlcoholFreeAsFuck #SelfLedLife #IFS #BipolarRecovery #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #AddictionAwareness #PersonalGrowth #SelfCompassion #TheLiquidLie #AFCommunity #STRIVEMethod #STRIVEFoundations #GraceOverShame #AlcoholFreeLiving

What happens when the person you love the most becomes the one you hurt the most? In this powerful conversation, Bryan Power shares how his marriage went from a restraining order to reconciliation — all through the lens of Integrated Attachment Theory. Bryan opens up about how childhood trauma shaped his behaviour, how emotional chaos tore his marriage apart, and how understanding attachment styles helped him rebuild trust, safety, and connection with his wife. Together, we explore the idea that healing our relationships begins with taking 100% responsibility for our own PARTS. In this episode: – The truth about how attachment wounds shape adult relationships – Why taking responsibility doesn’t mean accepting blame – How men can lead healing by working on themselves – The difference between anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment – How curiosity and compassion can replace the need to be right – The practical tools Bryan used to rebuild trust and intimacy – The real reason children trigger our deepest wounds If you’ve ever wondered whether a broken relationship can be repaired — or if you’re struggling to understand why the same patterns keep repeating — this episode is your blueprint for transformation. To learn more about Bryan’s work or take the free attachment style quiz, visit www.myrelationshipfail.com. And if you’re going through relationship struggles and want one-to-one coaching to help rebuild trust, safety, and connection, email me at [email protected] to find out how I can help you. #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #relationships #attachmenttheory #selfawareness #healing #communication #marriage #traumarecovery #selfleadership #growth #innerchild #emotionalregulation #selfresponsibility #LeeDavyCoaching

When life gets loud, do you reach for connection—or for a coping mechanism?   In this vulnerable conversation, trauma-informed coach Nina Vasquez makes a bold case: most of us aren’t “addicted”… we’re avoiding ourselves.   We explore what it means to stop numbing and start feeling, and how shame, isolation, and disconnection from the body keep us stuck in the same loop.   In this episode, we dive into: • The difference between isolation and solitude—and why one heals while the other hides. • How shame keeps you small and disconnected from your truth. • Why nervous-system safety is the foundation of all healing. • Body-based tools to release stored emotion—breath, sound, shaking, and movement. • How mirror work and eye contact rebuild self-trust and compassion. • The shame–numb–shame spiral behind alcohol, food, and scrolling. • Simple ways to start living a SELF-led life, AFAF.   Grab Nina’s free nervous system guide: ninavasquezcoaching.com/gifts   If you want personal help to become AFAF, email [email protected] to learn more about Lee’s 1:1 and group coaching options.   Much Love & STRIVE On! Lee   #1000DaysSoberPodcast #LeeDavy #STRIVE #STRIVEMethod #AFAF #IFS #InternalFamilySystems #TheLiquidLie #NervousSystemHealing #Polyvagal #WindowOfTolerance #ShameHealing #Embodiment #Somatics #TraumaInformed #SelfLeadership #EmotionalRegulation #AlcoholAwareness #HealingJourney #Breathwork #MovementPractice #MirrorWork #MindBodyConnection #LeeDavyCoaching