Ep 247: The Perfectionist's Guide To Losing Control (a book club meeting with author Katherine Morgan Schafler)

It's the reading episode we look forward to all year! My real life book club members Yasmin Dunn and Stephanie Newman-Smith join me for a supersized conversation about the best books we read in 2024. JOIN THE SECRET STUFF BOOK CLUB Since Stephanie, Yasmin, and I did a half-year Best Books episode together during the summer, we only gloss over a few of the books we discussed in depth in June. You can see the show notes from Ep 224: Best Books of the Year (So Far). Also an EXTENDED CUT of this episode and the BONUS episode where the three of us share books that didn't work for us this year (including a big surprise from me) is available for paid members SECRET STUFF (now on Substack!) FULL SHOW NOTES HERE Follow me @laura.tremaine on IG Follow Yasmin @yasminheartsbooks on IG (Stephanie doesn't post books on IG) MENTIONED in this episode: Yasmin’s Best Books: Ours by Phillip B. Williams The Wedding People by Alison Espach  Guilty Creatures: Sex, God, and Murder in Tallahassee by Mikita Brottman  Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship by Terrence Real Stephanie’s Best Books: This Motherless Land by Nikki May Real Americans by Rachel Khong Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors Laura’s Best Books: Dinner for Vampires by Bethany Joy Lenz Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier Link to Patreon episode about the Bee Sting - (Available for $3!) ALSO MENTIONED: Yasmin’s Best Books (So Far) in the June Episode: You Like It Darker by Stephen King James by Percival Everett Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder by Salman Rushdie Stephanie’s Best Books (so far) in the June Episode: Long Island by Colm Tóibín Neighbors and Other Stories by Diane Oliver Slow Horses by Mick Herron Laura’s Best Books (so far) in the June Episode: The Bee Sting by Paul Murray The Book of Love by Kelly Link How to Walk Into a Room by Emily P. Freeman The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck Holly by Stephen King Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption by Stephen King Secret Windows by Stephen King The Body by Stephen King The Stand by Stephen King Mansfield Park by Jane Austen You Can Make This Place Beautiful by Maggie Smith Sociopath: A Memoir by Patric Gagne, Ph.D. All Fours by Miranda July The Life Impossible by Matt Haig Share Your Stuff, I’ll Go First. by Laura Tremaine Apples Never Fall by Liane Moriarty The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty A Year to Live by Stephen Levine Hello Beautiful by Ann Napolitano Within Arm’s Reach by Ann Napolitano  Martyr! By Kaveh Akbar Listen for the Lie by Amy Tintera Couple Found Slain by Mikita Brottman NPR Best Books of the Year list NYT 10 Best Books of the Year list NYT Best Books of the 21st Century Ep. 243 Best Books Lately (with Sophie Hudson) More Episodes with Yasmin and Stephanie: Ep. 46: Book Club 2019 Ep. 90: Book Club’s Best Books of the Year 2020 Ep. 147: Best Books of the Year 2021 Ep. 153: Best Books of the Year 2022 Ep. 179: Best Books of 2023 (So Far) Ep. 199: Best Books of the Year 2023 Ep. 224: Best Books of the Year (So Far)   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN Laura Tremaine’s SECRET SUBSTACK BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I know why you don't journal. I also know why you should journal. In this episode, I'm sharing all the benefits you'll gain from the occasional journal session and how to combat the (many) obstacles that keep you from starting. Then I'll share the 4 types of journaling that you can try in order to see growth and clarity in your life. FULL SHOW NOTES HERE MENTIONED in this episode: My favorite plain notebook The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My friend Nora Dahlia Zelevansky is a journalist, a novelist, a wellness writer, and now she's a romance author! As we celebrate the release of her latest book PICK UP, Nora and I chat about her writing trajectory, the differences between publishing and marketing the romance genre, and why she decided to write this book using a different name. We also talk about how fiction helps us process our pasts, and especially how our high school selves might not have grasped the full story, and how we wrestle with that in adulthood. So many aspects to this great conversation! PICK UP by Nora Dahlia is out now! Learn more about Nora Dahlia Zelevansky Follow Nora on IG FULL SHOW NOTES ARE HERE MENTIONED in this episode: NaNoWriMo author Sarah MacLean's books Competitive Grieving by Nora Zelevansky Roll, Red, Roll: Rape, Power, and Football in the American Heartland   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Taylor Swift ends her earth-shattering Eras tour this weekend after a year and a half of dominating the charts and the headlines, I'm sharing how her music and her professional presence has shaped me as an artist, a mom, a business woman, and a former angsty teenager. I hope this episode inspires you to share your own favorite Taylor Swift memories, songs, lyrics, and more. FULL SHOW NOTES ARE HERE MENTIONED in this episode: Kate Kennedy’s Be There in Five podcast Follow Kate Kennedy on IG Ep 246: A Funeral for Twitter “Taylor Swift | The Eras Tour (Taylor’s Version)”   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the books that has made the biggest impression on me in the last few years is The Perfectionist's Guide To Losing Control by Katherine Morgan Schafler. I have talked about this book EVERYWHERE and insisted that even people who do not self-identify as "perfectionists" would get something out of it. So you can imagine that I was thrilled with the Secret Stuff members chose TPGTLC as a book club pick and I was doubly thrilled when author Katherine Morgan Schafler agreed to attend our regular monthly book club meeting to discuss it. JOIN THE SECRET STUFF BOOK CLUB HERE This episode is a replay of our book club discussion that was held over zoom, where Katherine and I held a great conversation about some of the major points of the book (including the five different types of "perfectionists"), and then Secret Stuff members got to ask her questions. I loved our conversation so much that I wanted everyone to hear it (and to read the book!). If you like these types of book club meetings, consider joining the Secret Stuff Book Club for 2025. We always have the best meetings with thoughtful conversations. Read The Perfectionist's Guide To Losing Control Follow @katherinemorganschafler on IG FULL SHOW NOTES HERE MENTIONED in this episode: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown (also one of my favorite books of all time) “Tracker” on CBS   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I joined twitter in 2009 and for 15 years - until this very month - it has been my favorite social media platform. The one place where I am only a consumer and not a creator. The place where I met my earliest online friends. The place where I made most of my best online memories following breaking news, political, scandal, and pop culture. And the only other person I know who has been obsessed with twitter for as long as I have been? None other than friend and podcaster Jamie Golden. Jamie and I have shared many obsessions over the years - and I write about her in The Life Council as the Fellow Obsessive friend - but our love of twitter has always been our biggest shared passion. And despite saying numerous times over the years that we'd never leave, we both decided in the last few weeks to depart our formerly favorite space. And thus, a funeral for twitter. In this conversation, Jamie and I talk about our earliest days on twitter, why we loved it so much, our favorite moments, a few of our regrets, and, of course, why we're leaving. You don't have to care about twitter to enjoy this passionate conversation between friends. My hope for this episode is that you'll get a little glimpse into some social media history and that you'll see yourself in a discussion about how being online has changed us. Follow Jamie Golden on IG Follow Jamie Golden on Bluesky Listen to Jamie Golden on her podcasts The Popcast with Knox and Jamie and Faith Adjacent Follow Laura Tremaine on BlueSky FULL SHOW NOTES HERE MENTIONED in this episode: Black Twitter: A People’s History (hulu docuseries) Extremely Online by Taylor Lorenz So You've Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson JAMIE's past episodes of 10 Things To Tell You: Ep. 14: Skincare and Makeup Favorites with Jamie Golden Ep. 51: Masterminds: How to create and structure a business peer group (with guests Jamie Golden, Bri McKoy, and Kendra Adachi) Ep. 105: Needles, Lasers, and Fillers in Your Face (Jamie Holden RETURNS!) Ep. 164: Are we friends or not? (A Secret Tapes Mastermind Conversation with Jamie Golden, Bri McKoy, and Kendra Adachi) Ep. 192: OBSESSED: Skincare & Makeup Favorites (with Jamie Golden)   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the world feels hard, and our lives feel loud, it can be difficult to find equilibrium. In this episode, I'm sharing 5 practices in various areas of my life that make me feel a little more like myself, a little more like a human, a little more sane and calm. FULL SHOW NOTES HERE MENTIONED in this episode: Learn more about #OneDayHH Join our Secret Stuff community for regular Symposium conversations Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod Episode 195: Why Do Smart People Love Dumb TV? with Matt Marr   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With less than two months left in 2024, I'm sharing ten questions that will help you finish the year strong. We're talking achievable goals, mantras, connecting with others, and lingering decisions that need to be made. These questions will give you clarity for the weeks ahead and and let you set intentions for how you want to feel and who you want to be at the end of 2024. As always, you can take these questions to your journal for introspection and growth, or use them as conversation starters with friends and family. FULL SHOW NOTES HERE JOIN US FOR the 12th Annual #ONEDAYHH MENTIONED in this episode: BONUS: How To Decorate For The Seasons Without Buying More Stuff ( Conversation with Myquillyn Smith, The Nester) Other Year-end Questions Episodes: Ep. 45: 10 Questions for the End of the Year 2019 Ep. 95: 10 Questions To Ask Yourself at the End of the Year 2020 Ep. 148: 10 Questions for the End of the Year 2021 Ep. 198: 10 Questions for the End of the Year 2023   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reading is always the best form of therapy, distraction, entertainment, and education. And in this episode we talk about titles that serve all of those purposes. Sophie Hudson (aka Boo Mama) is the co-host of The Big Boo Cast and she's also the author of seven books, including her latest A Fine Sight To See. She is always so fun to talk to and we had a blast talking about how long we've known each other, where we first met, how we both feel strongly about women in leadership, and, of course, the best books that we've read lately. JOIN THE SECRET STUFF BOOK CLUB As usual, my book selections were all of the place. And as a former English teacher, Sophie recommended all kinds of books to make us feel and think. FOLLOW Sophie on IG LISTEN to Sophie on The Big Boo Cast READ Sophie's latest book A Fine Sight To See FULL SHOW NOTES HERE Sophie’s picks: Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelly Van Pelt I Cheerfully Refuse by Leif Enger The Kingdom, The Power and The Glory: American Evangelicals in An Age of Extremism by Tim Alberta The Barn by Wright Thompson Laura’s picks: The Wedding People by Alison Espach All Fours by Miranda July The Quiet Damage: QAnon and the Destruction of the American Family by Jesselyn Cook I'm Thinking of Ending Things by Iain Reed Other books mentioned: The Friendship Factor by Alan Loy McGinnis The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins Tom Lake by Ann Patchett Sandwich by Catherine Newman  Peace Like a River by Leif Enger No One Belongs Here More than You: Stories by Miranda July Jesus and John Wayne By Kristin Kobes Du Mez Pappyland by Wright Thompson Dispatches from Pluto by Richard Grant Same As It Ever Was by Claire Lombardo Heavy by Kiese Laymon Long Division by Kiese Laymon Also Mentioned: The Popcast with Knox and Jamie Me and You and Everyone We Know (movie) Melanie Shankle, the Big Mama Blog Episode 239: Horror for Beginners (with Meredith Monday Schwartz) SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I want you to go on a girls trip in 2025. I want it to be a priority. But if you've never been on a girls trip - or it's been a long time - the logistics can be daunting. So I'm helping you out! In this episode, I'm sharing thoughts and tips on: Deciding the vibe Choosing the guests Where to go Where to stay What to eat What to do How to document Providing fun extras ...and more. You will leave this episode excited to plan your own little getaway, whether it's a staycation with one friend or a milestone trip with a group. FULL SHOW NOTES HERE MENTIONED in this episode: Ep 240: Favorite Things Fall 2024 Splitwise app Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine   SUBSCRIBE to 10 Things To Tell You so you never miss an episode! CLICK HERE for episode show notes FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Instagram FOLLOW @10ThingsToTellYou on Facebook JOIN the 10 Things To Tell You Connection Group SIGN UP for episode emails, links, and show notes JOIN the Secret Stuff Patreon BUY THE BOOK: Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. by Laura Tremaine BUY THE BOOK: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs by Laura Tremaine Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices