When estranged adult children don’t share their reasons for going no-contact, parents can be forgiven for making assumptions.
Some assumptions can be helpful, and even somewhat soothing. But far more often during unwanted estrangement from adult children, assumptions made by parents make them feel powerless.
Here are a few examples:
- My adult child’s partner doesn’t like me.
- My adult child is holding a grudge about something in the past.
- My adult child has a mental illness.
- My adult child didn’t accept my written apology, and that’s why they’re still silent.
Any of those could be true. But then again, they could also be false. Or irrelevant to the estrangement.
In this thought-provoking episode, host Tina Gilbertson presents three separate statements from estranged parents, highlighting the assumptions they contain, and explaining why they’re problematic.
Next, she provides four simple questions we can ask when assumptions make us feel worse about ourselves or our situation. And lastly, she encourages listeners to focus on what they know, which is their own experience.
For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina's book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.
Club members can discuss this and every episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club. Not a member yet? Learn more and join.
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