Roadtrip
This is the episode that Natty promised was lost in last week’s episode. It is about our recent roadtrip to Podfest in Florida.
You should send us an email to [email protected]. We’re here and we’re listening!
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About This Episode
This is the lost episode that Natty Bumpercar promised in last week's Bumperpodcast. Natty finally shares the story of the roadtrip down to Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida. The episode covers the adventure of hitting the road, the experiences and mishaps encountered along the way, and the fun and chaos that come with any Bumpercar travel story. Serving as a companion piece to episode 468, which covered what happened at the actual conference, this episode fills in the missing chapter of Natty's Florida adventure. Fans of the show's travelogue episodes will enjoy this behind-the-scenes look at the journey itself.
Memorable Quotes
“This is the episode I promised you last week! The one that got lost. Well, here it is. The roadtrip episode.”
— Natty Bumpercar
“You haven't lived until you've driven to Florida for a podcasting conference. It's quite the adventure.”
— Natty Bumpercar
Topics: #roadtrip #travel #florida #podfest #adventure #driving #comedy
Featuring: Natty Bumpercar
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Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #469
Yeah. So, wait, hold on. So, where are we again? >> I think we're Well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really >> No.
What? What do you mean you don't really You don't know where your ear your ear? >> Did you just say ear? You mean are you don't know who you are?
>> Yeah, that's that's what I That's what I was trying to say. Well, yeah, but I So, I got on a train somewhere and uh while I was driving using the map on my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break and so I didn't know where I was going. Um, and I had to stop every so often to um to find Wi-Fi and to like, you know, update the map. And it was terrible.
And it made me very nervous and stressed and pretty much uh late. >> So did you So you got on the train? >> Yes, I got on the train. I I I don't know.
It's like like I you give them your car and you walk inside. They give you a piece of paper. You walk inside. They give you another piece of paper and then you have to uh sit and wait for about an hour and then you get to go inside and then uh so I think the train left at like 3:30 yesterday and now uh it arrived where in somewhere in Florida at like 8:30.
>> So wait, hold on. I'm doing the uh producer. Can you can you do the numbers for me? Do you see how much?
>> Uh yes, yes, sir. Sorry, I am doing the math here. So, here we're going to round it up. We're going to take the numbers.
We're going to go, okay, that's 12 uh I would say seven. We're going to say by 17 hours, I think. >> That's a long time. That is I don't want to say too long, but that's a long long long long time.
Um, >> what wait wait wait wait wait. What' you do? What'd you do on the train? Do you get like a Did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things?
>> No, no, no, no, no. That was way too expensive. Uh, I uh whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something. Uh to to get your own little sleeping booth thing was like I I'm going to guess $10,000.
Now, let me I'm going to need to look at that contract cuz that doesn't make no sense at all. You got $1 150 just to sit in a seat and you're telling me $10,000 to that don't now I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make even a little bit of s Yeah. So, okay. Um you So, you just sat in a chair for 17 hours?
>> Well, no. I um yeah, kind of. But no, but the chair like it the back went back. It reclined and then like the the little thingy your legs came up and um so in theory it should have been nice.
Uh the only problem Well, there were a couple problems. Um, I I think that I'm about I'm going to say 3 in too tall for whatever is considered uh to be the norm uh for tallness for tallitude because any place I go like airplanes and espec like this thing my if I had that extra three or 4 in then my feet wouldn't be What just happened? Crushed. My feet would not be like I have to bend them and I'm trying to like find little places to put them and it's miserable.
Um everything else back kind of okay. Um the funny thing is so there was this other guy who there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other. So I get there and uh seats open and I was like, "Hey." And the guy was like, "Oh, is this you?" And I was like, "Yeah." >> So he said, "Wait, so he started off aggressive immediately." >> Yeah. He didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever.
And uh so then I had to squeeze in, get into my seat. And uh the best part was in that 17 hours, those are the only words he said to me. So, uh, for me, for my money, that's that was great because I I didn't really feel like chatting with him. Um, especially, so as soon as I got and I sat down in the seat, he he was kind of aggravated and he was like, "Well, where's the armrest seat?" Cuz he wanted there to be an armrest in between us.
So, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us. Who knows what h what chicainery could have happened. None. Um so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of just said goodbye.
Tapped out. Um, and then the best cool thing was at some point I figured out there was a a dining car where you could go and and well and there were booths and I so I got to sit in a booth and it was much more comfortable. Um, and and um and then I they had I got a cheeseburger which was in a plastic bag and was microwaved and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu and the the woman behind the counter was she's like, "I don't know.
I don't know. How's that?" I don't know. All right. What about the cheeseburger?
I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed.
A lot of people get it. Perfect. And uh, so I sat down and I uh, the w there was Wi-Fi, so Hold on. Nothing.
What did you say? Like what? Flowers like that. It doesn't make any Yeah, I heard him.
I heard him too. I was going to say something else and then I heard him. I said because Are you a fancy person now? Cuz you're riding on a train that you're saying like a Wi-Fi like that.
No, I just It came out weird. I stopped. Um but now you know so I got to use the Wi-Fi which means I got to work which everyone knows I love to do all the time and uh now and now I you know I I think I sat there working for probably 3 or 4 hours and around 10:30 or so this guy who was working on the train uh walked by with this box and he was just like hey who wants you anybody hungry? and he just had all this free food.
And he gave me uh a thing of I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know. And uh yeah, it was it was delicious. It was spicy. And uh it was free, which you I love free.
I love working and I love free. Um, so then I I didn't go back to the my actual seat until closer to like 11:30 or 12 cuz I knew like I was tired and I could just go and I could pass out. All right, great. Okay, so we don't need a run by like minute by minute of the entire trip.
Um, why are you in Florida? Oh yeah. So, I'm I'm going to a a podcast convention called Podfest and um and I get to speak at this thing now. Hold on just a second there.
What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why are you gonna Why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a onto a a train and and and and and just to talk because I mean you could just talk wherever you are you seem to do. Everybody always Oh, now there's talking again.
There you go. He's talking some more. Yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. >> Talk what?
No, I'm sorry. You do talk a talk a lot is I didn't I I kind of trailed off there a little bit. I um Yeah. Hey, what's uh what's going on with your uh your eye?
I noticed it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was. Ah, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever and uh one of my kids came in and he he he was just, "Hey, hey, Dad." And then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, "What's wrong with your eye?" And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I It's just kind of like pressure.
It's like, "Ah, I'm looking at the computer too much." whatever. And I got up and I I looked in the mirror. My left eye and was uh all bright red. So uh uh why was it all bright red, dude?
What do you What happened? Well, evidently I burst burst a blood vessel in my in my eye. And so I had something I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin sounded like a magic spell words.
Um and I didn't know what. So I gave it a couple of days and I was just like maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye which uh is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation.
And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So, finally I I went to a doctor and they um they checked it out and they were like, "That's some sort of subcutaneial blah blah blah he hemorrh hemorrhage hemorrhage blah blah blah." And blah blah gave you some medicine. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know.
It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, "What did they say?" And I'm like, "I don't know." Like, I pretty much I'm in a conversation with the doctor, listening as I should, you know, uh paying attention and then the second I not even the second I I step out of the door, the second they stop talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so you know, it's uh I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to uh your your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye?
>> Yes. I don't have a Yes. I I don't really have an option. I have drops drops for my eye and uh they're they're uh what other steroids.
>> Oh, Netty, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know. Uh steroids and I it's not not something you should be messing around with. And I uh No, no, no, no, no.
It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's gonna be okay, I think. I think. I don't know.
>> Well, but wait, hold on. So, you just do it in the one eye because what happens if your your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to How's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you?
Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should I don't know.
I should probably find out about that. I um >> Well, hold on. So, what is your um your talk? What are you talking about?
The podcast the the show you you said you're talking. >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So, I'm um talking about uh improvised podcasts and uh you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I uh >> Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts.
Pod. We're all talking weird tonight. Must be the Florida in this. You're talking about improvised podcasts.
This doesn't make no s like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean?
Why I mean, what are you talking about? I don't Well, I don't know. You know, the Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous.
Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https:ww.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere.
Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper podcast features contributions from Alawishious J.
Pig, Rufus T, Rufus, Doodle, Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our headtalker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe.
Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, so wait, hold on, so where are we again?
Natty Bumpercar: I think we're in, well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really…
Rufus T. Rufus: Nah, what, what do you mean you don't really? You don't know where your ear are?
Natty Bumpercar: Your ear?
Rufus T. Rufus: Did you just say ear?
Natty Bumpercar: You mean are. You don't know where you are?
Rufus T. Rufus: Your ear, that's what I was trying to say.
Natty Bumpercar: Well yeah, but I, so I got on a train somewhere, and while I was driving, using the map on
Rufus T. Rufus: my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break, and
Producer Dan: so I didn't know where I was going, and I had to stop every so often to find Wi-Fi and
Rufus T. Rufus: to like, you know, update the map, and it was terrible, and it made me very nervous and stressed, and pretty much late. So did you, so you got on the train?
Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I got on the train, I, I, I don't know, it's like, you give them your car, and you
Rufus T. Rufus: walk inside, they give you a piece of paper, you walk inside, they give you another piece of paper, and then you have to sit and wait for about an hour, and then you get to go
Natty Bumpercar: inside, and then, so I think the train left at like 3.30 yesterday, and now, it arrived
Rufus T. Rufus: where in, somewhere in Florida, at like 8.30.
Natty Bumpercar: So wait, hold on, I'm doing the, producer, can you, can you do the numbers for me, so you see how much? Uh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, I am doing the math here, so here, we're gonna round it up, we're going to take the numbers, we're going to go, okay, that's 12, 16, I would say 7,
Rufus T. Rufus: we're gonna say by 17, 17 hours I think? That's a long time, that is, I don't wanna say too long, but that's a long, long, long,
Natty Bumpercar: long, long time.
Rufus T. Rufus: Um. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what'd you do, what'd you do on the train?
Natty Bumpercar: Did you get like a, did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things?
Rufus T. Rufus: No, no, no, no, no, that was way too expensive.
Natty Bumpercar: Uh, I, uh, whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something, uh, to, to get your own little
Rufus T. Rufus: sleeping booth thing was like, I, I'm gonna guess ,000? Well, now let me, I'm gonna need to look at that contract, cause that doesn't make
Natty Bumpercar: no sense at all.
Rufus T. Rufus: You got your 150 to sit in a seat and you're telling me ,000 to, I don't, now Natty,
Natty Bumpercar: I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make any, even a little bit
Rufus T. Rufus: of sense.
Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so, okay, um, you're in, so you just sat in a chair for 17 hours?
Rufus T. Rufus: Well, no, I, um, yeah, well kind of, but no, but the chair, like it, the back went
Natty Bumpercar: back, it reclined, and then like the, the little thing, your legs came up, and, um, so in theory, it should've been nice, uh, the only problem, well there were a couple
Rufus T. Rufus: problems, um, I, I think that I'm about, I'm gonna say three inches too tall for whatever
Natty Bumpercar: is considered, uh, to be the norm, uh, for tallness, for tallitude, because any place
Rufus T. Rufus: I go, like airplanes, like this thing, my, if I had that extra three or four inches,
Natty Bumpercar: then my feet wouldn't be, what just happened, crushed, my feet would not be, like I have
Rufus T. Rufus: to bend them, and I'm trying to like find little places to put them, and it's miserable.
Natty Bumpercar: Um, everything else is back, uh, kind of okay, um, the funny thing is, so there's this other
Rufus T. Rufus: guy, who's, there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other, so I get there, and,
Natty Bumpercar: uh, the seats open, and I was like, hey, and the guy was like, oh, is this you?
Rufus T. Rufus: And I was like, yeah.
Natty Bumpercar: So he said, wait, so he started off aggressive immediately.
Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, he didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever, and, uh, so then I
Natty Bumpercar: had to squeeze in, get into my seat, and, uh, the best part was, in that 17 hours, those
Rufus T. Rufus: are the only words he said to me.
Natty Bumpercar: So, uh, for me, for my money, that's, that was great, because I, I didn't really feel
Announcer: like chatting with him, uh, especially, so as soon as I got, and I sat down in the seat,
Natty Bumpercar: he, he was kind of aggravated, and he was like, well, where's the armrest seat? Because he wanted there to be an armrest in between us, so, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us, who knows? But, uh, what chicanery could have happened? None. Um, so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of, just said goodbye, tapped out. Um, and then, the best cool thing was, at some point, I figured out there was a dining car where you could go, and, and, well, and there were booths, and I, so I got to sit in a booth, and it was much more comfortable, um, and, and, um, and then I, they had, I got a cheeseburger, which was in a plastic bag, and was microwaved, and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu, and the, the woman behind the counter was, she was like, I don't know, I don't know, how's that? I don't know. Alright, what about the cheeseburger? I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed. A lot of people get it. Perfect. And, um, so then I sat down, and I, uh, the Wi- there was Wi-Fi, so, hold on. What did you say? Like, Wi-Fi? Like that? It doesn't make any… Yeah, I heard him, I heard him too. I was going to say something else, and then I heard him. Is that because, are you a fancy person now, because you're riding on a train, that you're saying like, oh, Wi-Fi, like that? No, I just, it came out weird. I stopped. Um, but now, you know, so I got to use the Wi-Fis, which means I got to work, which everyone knows I love to do all the time, and, uh, now, and now, you know, I think I sat there working for probably three or four hours, and around 10.30 or so, this guy who was working on the train, uh, walked by with this box, and he was just like, hey, who wants, anybody hungry? And he just had all this free food, and he gave me, uh, a thing of, I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know, and, uh, yeah, it was, it was delicious. It was spicy, and, uh, it was free, which, you know, I love free, I love working, and I love free. Um, so then, I don't, I didn't go back to the, my actual seat until closer to, like, 11.30 or 12, because I knew, like, I was tired, and I could just go, and I could pass out. All right, great, okay, so we don't need a run by, like, minute by minute of the entire trip. Um, why are you in Florida? Oh, yeah, so I'm, I'm going to a, a podcast convention called Podfest, and, um, and I get to speak at this thing. Now, hold on just a second there. What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why do you, why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a, onto a, a train, and, and, and, and, just to talk? You could, I mean, you could just talk wherever you are. That's what you seem to do. Everybody always like, oh, now there's talking again. There we go, he's talking some more. Uh, yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. Talk what? No, I'm sorry, you do talk, talk a lot. I kind of trailed off there a little bit. Um, yeah. Hey, what's, uh, what's going on with your, uh, your eye? I notice it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was, uh, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever, and, uh, one of my kids came in and he, he, he, he was just, hey, hey dad, and then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, what's wrong with your eye? And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I mean, it's just kind of like pressure. It's like, ah, I'm looking at the computer too much, whatever. And I got up and I, I looked in the mirror. My left eye, uh, was, uh, uh, all bright red. So, uh, uh, why was it all bright red? What do you, what happened? Well, evidently I burst, burst a blood vessel in my, in my eye. And so I had something, I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin, sounded like a magic spell words. Um, and I didn't know what, so I gave it a couple of days and I was just like, maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye, which, uh, is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation. And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So finally I went to a doctor and they, uh, they checked it out and they were like, ah, it's some sort of subcutaneal, blah, blah, blah, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know. It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, what did they say? And I'm like, I don't know. I pretty much, I'm in a conversation with the doctor listening as I should, you know, uh, paying attention. And then the second I, not even the second I step out of the door, the second they stopped talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so, you know, it's, um, I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to, uh, your, your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye? Yes. I don't have it. Yes. I don't really have an option. I have drops, drops for my eye and, uh, they're, they're, uh, they're steroids. Oh, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know, uh, steroids and not, it's not, not something you should be messing around with. And I, uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's going to be okay. I think. I think. I don't know. Well, wait, hold on. So you just do it in the one eye? Because what happens if your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to, how's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you? Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should, I don't know. I don't know. I should probably find out about that. I, um. Well, hold on. So what is your, um, your talk, what are you talking about? The podcast, the show, you said you're talking? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm, um, talking about, uh, improvised podcasts and, uh, you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I, uh. Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts. We're all talking weird today. It might be the Florida in us. You're talking about improvised podcasts? This doesn't make no sense. Like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean? Why, I mean, what are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know. You know. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.
