The Natty Bumpercar Bumperpodcast

Natty, Rufus T. Rufus, and the Producer spiral from a rogue toaster on the kitchen island into a full philosophical investigation of sand, etymology, and why nobody actually knows anything. 20 seconds of content, infinitely extended.

Natty, Rufus T. Rufus, and the Producer spiral from a rogue toaster on the kitchen island into a full philosophical investigation of sand, etymology, and why nobody actually knows anything. 20 seconds of content, infinitely extended.

Natty Bumpercar melts — literally. Episode 477 finds him sneaking into a movie theater lobby for A/C, standing in a sprinkler fully clothed, and debating the etymology of 'lavatory.' Summer has never been hotter or funnier.

Natty & the Producer can't stop answering phone calls mid-episode, no one knows where the pause button is, and Rufus T. Rufus has fallen into a well and is out of jellybeans. Just another day at Bumpercar HQ.

The gang discovers they've been recording episodes for months that went nowhere! Natty tries to solve the mystery while Rufus obsesses over his 77-cent bank deposits and Producer reveals he thought it was all improv.

Natty explains his recent absence due to illness and tells the wild story of discovering he had shingles — couch accidents, awkwardly telling his doctor "I don't like you," horse-sized pills, and how cupping made him technically an Olympic athlete.

ROBOT does something helpful?! You should send us an email to [email protected]. We’re here and we’re listening!  

Monster’s favorite sandwich shop has vanished, replaced by a mysterious boba ball establishment! Chaos ensues as the gang tries to secure their first sponsor while Monster mourns his lost lunch spot. You should send us an email to [email protected]. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe {“@context”: “https://schema.org”, “@type”: “PodcastEpisode”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast #470 u2013 Season 3 u2013 Monster”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast-470-season-3-monster/”, “datePublished”: “2026-03-06”, “episodeNumber”: 470, “partOfSeries”: {“@type”: “PodcastSeries”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast/”}, “description”: “Monster’s favorite sandwich shop becomes a boba place, causing chaos as the gang tries to navigate potential sponsorships, legal threats, and everyone’s food phobias in this delightfully absurd episode.”} Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe {“@context”: “https://schema.org”, “@type”: “FAQPage”, “mainEntity”: [{“@type”: “Question”, “name”: “What is Bumperpodcast #470 u2013 Season 3 u2013 Monster about?”, “acceptedAnswer”: {“@type”: “Answer”, “text”: “Monster’s favorite sandwich shop becomes a boba place, causing chaos as the gang tries to navigate potential sponsorships, legal threats, and everyone’s food phobias in this delightfully absurd episode.”}}, {“@type”: “Question”, “name”: “What topics are covered in Bumperpodcast #470?”, “acceptedAnswer”: {“@type”: “Answer”, “text”: “Bumperpodcast #470 covers: comedy, food, sponsorship, business, legal troubles, friendship, disappointment, boba.”}}]} Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All Episodes Natty Bumpercar: Well, hello there everybody, it's me, uh, already, oh, hey, monster, how's it going? I'm so, you sound so sad, what's going on? Monster: Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm Natty Bumpercar: Oh, hey, monster, what's going on? You sound, you sound, you sound, you sound, you sound Whoa, are you okay, pig? Pig: What's going on with me today? I was like trying to get my pig engine started Natty Bumpercar: No, I think, did, did everybody just wake up? I feel like everybody might have just woken up Because that's how everyone sounds right now Producer: Hello, everybody, oh, I'm just, oh, are we recording an episode right now? I just thought it was nap time, I looked at the calendar and it says everybody should be taking a nap right now But now I look, oh, hello, monster, how are you doing? Monster: Whoa, is it really all that bad? Natty Bumpercar: Hello there, monster, I heard you from the other side of the room over there Rufus T. Firefly: It sounds like you're in a great state of distress Now, should I, what's going on? Should we be having a conversation? Should we, do you want, do you need legal representation? Monster: No Rufus T. Firefly: Or, or, or what? Natty Bumpercar: Rufus, just because somebody's having a rough time does not mean that they necessarily need a lawyer or legal representation Maybe, so, monster, what is, what is happening? What's going on? Pig: Just really quickly, though, before we jump into that, am I allowed to go back to sleep? Or are we going to record? What's the plan here? Natty Bumpercar: We should be, I should stay, okay, I should stay awake Yes, just stay awake Pig: Okay, I heard you, heard Natty Bumpercar: Just stay awake Pig: Got you, okay Natty Bumpercar: Okay, okay, thank you Monster: Now, monster, what is going on? Natty Bumpercar: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah Rufus T. Firefly: Yep, I, okay, I completely, I completely understand Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second, if I may Monster: So, I didn't realize that, should I close the place down? Natty Bumpercar: Yeah Monster: When did that happen? Rufus T. Firefly: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow Yes, sorry, thank you, monster, but really quick, Nappy, I get, I'm so sorry to interrupt again Producer: I have to ask, are we going to be doing some sort of, um, um, um, transcriptions or some subtitles? Natty Bumpercar: Do they, they don't even know, do they, do they do subtitles in, uh, the, the, the podcast? Rufus T. Firefly: Cause I don't, I don't know if everyone's going to understand, monster, I mean, I do, clearly, but, you know, I understand why you're upset as well Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow Producer: Yeah, no, I agree, uh, monster, I'm here with you, I agree, producer, it was a good point, and monster, I don't think he was trying to upset you necessarily I think it's just because he's the producer of the podcast, and the podcast, you know, podcast, with podcast Natty Bumpercar: It's actually in my name, it's producer, so I'm producing, and that was just an example of me producing, you see, it's like a thing, an issue Yep, yep, yep And I fixed it, I tried to, and I don't know if I actually did Monster: Yeah, I don't know if you actually did either, um, well, monster, I, just so everyone knows, monster, I'll just translate, cause I don't know if trans, I don't know how that would work Natty Bumpercar: Um, so there was a sandwich shop that monster used to go to, and he went there today, and the sandwich shop is now gone, and it's an entirely new business that just serves boba, is what I understand Monster: Yeah, I don't know, I don't, okay, so explain to me, so it's not even like boba tea, it's not even like, you know, the drinks, or the, oh look, here's some mango, here's some boba, or whatever, it's just all these salads, the little circles, the little things, they come in a bowl? How do you get them? Natty Bumpercar: Oh, okay, so Sorry, yeah, I can't stand that either, like, if I'm, just, listen, I love that places give samples, but don't make me feel guilty when you're trying to give me a sample, like, I don't, if I, if I want to come over and get a sample, I see that you have a tray, I know what's on the tray, that there's something that you're trying to give me a sample of that Rufus T. Firefly: But if, don't, don't yell at me across the street, and, you know, Monster, I get it, you went there to a sandwich shop thinking you were going to a sandwich shop, and then all of a sudden you're assaulted by this person who's trying to force samples of, of boba, did it have, were there like flavors, or, and, is it, how do they serve it, just the little, those little ball things, like, it's not even Hold on How does that work? Natty Bumpercar: We gotta, actually, we gotta say nice things about, this is a new business that's here in the Compton County, it's called Aloysious J. Pig: BBSMB, BBSMB, that's the initials, you know how they like to do like initials, and so it's called Boba, Boba, some more Boba, alright, BBSMB, Boba, Boba, some more Boba, yeah And I've been talking to them, there's a nice little family shop there, and I might be getting them to come on and sponsor the podcast Natty Bumpercar: So I, uh, I'm broke You're okay Rufus, good on you for going out and getting new clients, potentially for the podcast But maybe now's not the time to start bringing up that we might be financially entangled with the people who have taken away Monster: Monster's favorite sandwich shop while he's in studio and obviously upset about things Aloysious J. Pig: Very upset about things, and understandably so, again, Monster And agreeing with Aloysius, Rufus, maybe just, maybe we can talk about that later Number one Number two Uh, we, really? A sponsor? We've never had a sponsor, that's pretty fun Natty Bumpercar: Let's make that happen Alright, between you and me, let's make that happen I agree, uh, to a point there, uh, Monster Uh, that, you know, maybe some place called Boba, Boba, Small Boba Pig: Uh, isn't gonna be a very good client to bring on because they can't possibly last very long Because all they're selling is little tapioca balls, uh, flavored gelatin, I suppose I mean, not, not everybody's, not on everybody's palate Monster: They tried to get me to take a sample, and I said, oh, no, I did not eat marbles, alright Pig: I said, take those marbles away from me, I swallowed a marble when I was a child Natty Bumpercar: And it did not taste good It's not, you don't I was allergic to them You're not allergic to them, you just aren't supposed to eat marbles Pig: Um, and these are not marbles Producer: And you, being a lawyer, and especially if we're representing the Boba, Boba, Small Boba Uh, should know that we don't want to, uh, slander the business by saying bad and, um, uh, unfactual Natty Bumpercar: Is that a, un, lacking in facts, factuals? Uh, things about, about a business, a brand new business that's in town that's trying to give us money, okay Producer: Maybe we should all go down there later, Monster, you can come with us Natty Bumpercar: And we can talk to the business, and maybe, maybe it's all gonna work out perfectly Producer: Okay, yeah, and I, and I, and I agree with that Uh, Natty, I think you and Rufus may be losing the point here a little bit Um, M-O-N-S-T-E-R should stay here Natty Bumpercar: I can stay with You guys can go get me some, uh, some of these marbles Rufus T. Firefly: Love to try them, alright Love to have a sponsor for the show, alright Uh, but I just do not think it's in anyone's best, uh, interests Yeah To, uh, have Monster come along with us for this field trip I completely agree, that makes sense Natty Bumpercar: Yes, thank you Rufus T. Firefly: Okay, we don't want to scare the new people Natty Bumpercar: We don't want to, um, bring in someone who's upset that they're there Rufus T. Firefly: So that's a good idea, and thank you very much, uh, Pig For, um, for Baby's Monster Sitting? Natty Bumpercar: Uh, yeah, well, um, I don't think I'm gonna go either Um, Pig, and it's just kind of like a, um, it's not a cultural thing It's like, I mean, frogs don't like boba, okay? Because, and it's weird to talk about in person with private, it's kind of private information Well, you don't have to talk about it on the podcast if it's such private information, uh, producer Pig: Uh, you could just leave it at, you don't like boba And then you don't have to come, and that is No, here's the thing, though, I think I should, yep, I'm still Okay, yeah, you're still talking Rufus T. Firefly: Well, boba, uh, look a little bit like frog eggs, okay? And so I see them, and I was at the big frog meeting, we were having a conversation about boba And, you know, somebody walked in with a sample of these things, these little marbles And it just really gives everybody the icks, the yucks, you know? Announcer: And like, I'm a frog, I eat bugs, but this is just a little bit too much for me, okay? Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second So, I, what? Yeah, producer, sorry, that was the owners there of, uh, Boba, Boba, and some more Boba And they called in because they heard everybody was talking about them Which they thought it was gonna be a good thing Initially they said, well, this is what we want, you know, we want our name on the bumper podcast We want it out there, we want people talking about it There's no such thing as bad publicity And then they might have caught wind, they might have heard you over there talking about frog eggs And I think that that might have really upset them And then, who was it that was just talking about marbles? Well, you can't talk, they aren't marbles, they're food, alright? They're little, delicious balls of wondrous tapioca Boba, and Boba, and some more Boba, you get? Well, not only did we lose them as a sponsor Oh no But evidently, they're gonna be seeking litigation What? Who's gonna be their lawyer? I know Well, it's me So you're now going to be suing us On behalf of the sponsor that we almost had That was a sandwich shop that upset Monster And now is a Boba shop which freaks out Pig because of marbles And freaks out Producer because of frog eggs Wonderful Okay, this is going very well I'm glad you stopped in, Monster Hold on, Natty So are you guys still going on the field trip? Because you don't even have to go there necessarily But I am feeling pretty hungry after all this talk And I was wondering if maybe you guys could get me some food? You know what? That's actually not a bad idea I tend to work better as a lawyer when I have some food in my belly Now let me think, sir What kind of food could we get? Monster, now wasn't there some sandwich shop that was your favorite sandwich shop around? Maybe we could go there You think there's some place that would work out? The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous Thanks a bundle for listening If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast Check out our Patreon page at Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts Share it with everyone everywhere Post about it on all of the social medias Or leave a rating and review The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar We also have an absurd newsletter Check it out and subscribe at Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter Hugs and hearts, see you soon

This is the episode that Natty promised was lost in last week’s episode. It is about our recent roadtrip to Podfest in Florida. You should send us an email to [email protected]. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode This is the lost episode that Natty Bumpercar promised in last week's Bumperpodcast. Natty finally shares the story of the roadtrip down to Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida. The episode covers the adventure of hitting the road, the experiences and mishaps encountered along the way, and the fun and chaos that come with any Bumpercar travel story. Serving as a companion piece to episode 468, which covered what happened at the actual conference, this episode fills in the missing chapter of Natty's Florida adventure. Fans of the show's travelogue episodes will enjoy this behind-the-scenes look at the journey itself. Memorable Quotes “This is the episode I promised you last week! The one that got lost. Well, here it is. The roadtrip episode.” — Natty Bumpercar “You haven't lived until you've driven to Florida for a podcasting conference. It's quite the adventure.” — Natty Bumpercar Topics: #roadtrip #travel #florida #podfest #adventure #driving #comedy Featuring: Natty Bumpercar {“@context”: “https://schema.org”, “@type”: “PodcastEpisode”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast #469 u2013 Season 3 u2013 Roadtrip”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast-469-season-3-roadtrip/”, “datePublished”: “2026-02-10”, “episodeNumber”: 469, “partOfSeries”: {“@type”: “PodcastSeries”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast/”}} Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All Episodes Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #469 Yeah. So, wait, hold on. So, where are we again? >> I think we're Well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really >> No. What? What do you mean you don't really You don't know where your ear your ear? >> Did you just say ear? You mean are you don't know who you are? >> Yeah, that's that's what I That's what I was trying to say. Well, yeah, but I So, I got on a train somewhere and uh while I was driving using the map on my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break and so I didn't know where I was going. Um, and I had to stop every so often to um to find Wi-Fi and to like, you know, update the map. And it was terrible. And it made me very nervous and stressed and pretty much uh late. >> So did you So you got on the train? >> Yes, I got on the train. I I I don't know. It's like like I you give them your car and you walk inside. They give you a piece of paper. You walk inside. They give you another piece of paper and then you have to uh sit and wait for about an hour and then you get to go inside and then uh so I think the train left at like 3:30 yesterday and now uh it arrived where in somewhere in Florida at like 8:30. >> So wait, hold on. I'm doing the uh producer. Can you can you do the numbers for me? Do you see how much? >> Uh yes, yes, sir. Sorry, I am doing the math here. So, here we're going to round it up. We're going to take the numbers. We're going to go, okay, that's 12 uh I would say seven. We're going to say by 17 hours, I think. >> That's a long time. That is I don't want to say too long, but that's a long long long long time. Um, >> what wait wait wait wait wait. What' you do? What'd you do on the train? Do you get like a Did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things? >> No, no, no, no, no. That was way too expensive. Uh, I uh whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something. Uh to to get your own little sleeping booth thing was like I I'm going to guess $10,000. Now, let me I'm going to need to look at that contract cuz that doesn't make no sense at all. You got $1 150 just to sit in a seat and you're telling me $10,000 to that don't now I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make even a little bit of s Yeah. So, okay. Um you So, you just sat in a chair for 17 hours? >> Well, no. I um yeah, kind of. But no, but the chair like it the back went back. It reclined and then like the the little thingy your legs came up and um so in theory it should have been nice. Uh the only problem Well, there were a couple problems. Um, I I think that I'm about I'm going to say 3 in too tall for whatever is considered uh to be the norm uh for tallness for tallitude because any place I go like airplanes and espec like this thing my if I had that extra three or 4 in then my feet wouldn't be What just happened? Crushed. My feet would not be like I have to bend them and I'm trying to like find little places to put them and it's miserable. Um everything else back kind of okay. Um the funny thing is so there was this other guy who there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other. So I get there and uh seats open and I was like, "Hey." And the guy was like, "Oh, is this you?" And I was like, "Yeah." >> So he said, "Wait, so he started off aggressive immediately." >> Yeah. He didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever. And uh so then I had to squeeze in, get into my seat. And uh the best part was in that 17 hours, those are the only words he said to me. So, uh, for me, for my money, that's that was great because I I didn't really feel like chatting with him. Um, especially, so as soon as I got and I sat down in the seat, he he was kind of aggravated and he was like, "Well, where's the armrest seat?" Cuz he wanted there to be an armrest in between us. So, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us. Who knows what h what chicainery could have happened. None. Um so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of just said goodbye. Tapped out. Um, and then the best cool thing was at some point I figured out there was a a dining car where you could go and and well and there were booths and I so I got to sit in a booth and it was much more comfortable. Um, and and um and then I they had I got a cheeseburger which was in a plastic bag and was microwaved and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu and the the woman behind the counter was she's like, "I don't know. I don't know. How's that?" I don't know. All right. What about the cheeseburger? I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed. A lot of people get it. Perfect. And uh, so I sat down and I uh, the w there was Wi-Fi, so Hold on. Nothing. What did you say? Like what? Flowers like that. It doesn't make any Yeah, I heard him. I heard him too. I was going to say something else and then I heard him. I said because Are you a fancy person now? Cuz you're riding on a train that you're saying like a Wi-Fi like that. No, I just It came out weird. I stopped. Um but now you know so I got to use the Wi-Fi which means I got to work which everyone knows I love to do all the time and uh now and now I you know I I think I sat there working for probably 3 or 4 hours and around 10:30 or so this guy who was working on the train uh walked by with this box and he was just like hey who wants you anybody hungry? and he just had all this free food. And he gave me uh a thing of I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know. And uh yeah, it was it was delicious. It was spicy. And uh it was free, which you I love free. I love working and I love free. Um, so then I I didn't go back to the my actual seat until closer to like 11:30 or 12 cuz I knew like I was tired and I could just go and I could pass out. All right, great. Okay, so we don't need a run by like minute by minute of the entire trip. Um, why are you in Florida? Oh yeah. So, I'm I'm going to a a podcast convention called Podfest and um and I get to speak at this thing now. Hold on just a second there. What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why are you gonna Why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a onto a a train and and and and and just to talk because I mean you could just talk wherever you are you seem to do. Everybody always Oh, now there's talking again. There you go. He's talking some more. Yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. >> Talk what? No, I'm sorry. You do talk a talk a lot is I didn't I I kind of trailed off there a little bit. I um Yeah. Hey, what's uh what's going on with your uh your eye? I noticed it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was. Ah, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever and uh one of my kids came in and he he he was just, "Hey, hey, Dad." And then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, "What's wrong with your eye?" And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I It's just kind of like pressure. It's like, "Ah, I'm looking at the computer too much." whatever. And I got up and I I looked in the mirror. My left eye and was uh all bright red. So uh uh why was it all bright red, dude? What do you What happened? Well, evidently I burst burst a blood vessel in my in my eye. And so I had something I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin sounded like a magic spell words. Um and I didn't know what. So I gave it a couple of days and I was just like maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye which uh is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation. And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So, finally I I went to a doctor and they um they checked it out and they were like, "That's some sort of subcutaneial blah blah blah he hemorrh hemorrhage hemorrhage blah blah blah." And blah blah gave you some medicine. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know. It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, "What did they say?" And I'm like, "I don't know." Like, I pretty much I'm in a conversation with the doctor, listening as I should, you know, uh paying attention and then the second I not even the second I I step out of the door, the second they stop talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so you know, it's uh I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to uh your your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye? >> Yes. I don't have a Yes. I I don't really have an option. I have drops drops for my eye and uh they're they're uh what other steroids. >> Oh, Netty, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know. Uh steroids and I it's not not something you should be messing around with. And I uh No, no, no, no, no. It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's gonna be okay, I think. I think. I don't know. >> Well, but wait, hold on. So, you just do it in the one eye because what happens if your your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to How's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you? Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should I don't know. I should probably find out about that. I um >> Well, hold on. So, what is your um your talk? What are you talking about? The podcast the the show you you said you're talking. >> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I'm um talking about uh improvised podcasts and uh you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I uh >> Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts. Pod. We're all talking weird tonight. Must be the Florida in this. You're talking about improvised podcasts. This doesn't make no s like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean? Why I mean, what are you talking about? I don't Well, I don't know. You know, the Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https:ww.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus T, Rufus, Doodle, Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our headtalker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, so wait, hold on, so where are we again? Natty Bumpercar: I think we're in, well, I think we're in Florida, but I don't really… Rufus T. Rufus: Nah, what, what do you mean you don't really? You don't know where your ear are? Natty Bumpercar: Your ear? Rufus T. Rufus: Did you just say ear? Natty Bumpercar: You mean are. You don't know where you are? Rufus T. Rufus: Your ear, that's what I was trying to say. Natty Bumpercar: Well yeah, but I, so I got on a train somewhere, and while I was driving, using the map on Rufus T. Rufus: my phone, which I used to get everywhere, the phone service just decided to break, and Producer Dan: so I didn't know where I was going, and I had to stop every so often to find Wi-Fi and Rufus T. Rufus: to like, you know, update the map, and it was terrible, and it made me very nervous and stressed, and pretty much late. So did you, so you got on the train? Natty Bumpercar: Yes, I got on the train, I, I, I don't know, it's like, you give them your car, and you Rufus T. Rufus: walk inside, they give you a piece of paper, you walk inside, they give you another piece of paper, and then you have to sit and wait for about an hour, and then you get to go Natty Bumpercar: inside, and then, so I think the train left at like 3.30 yesterday, and now, it arrived Rufus T. Rufus: where in, somewhere in Florida, at like 8.30. Natty Bumpercar: So wait, hold on, I'm doing the, producer, can you, can you do the numbers for me, so you see how much? Uh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, I am doing the math here, so here, we're gonna round it up, we're going to take the numbers, we're going to go, okay, that's 12, 16, I would say 7, Rufus T. Rufus: we're gonna say by 17, 17 hours I think? That's a long time, that is, I don't wanna say too long, but that's a long, long, long, Natty Bumpercar: long, long time. Rufus T. Rufus: Um. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what'd you do, what'd you do on the train? Natty Bumpercar: Did you get like a, did you get to sleep in one of the little sleeping things? Rufus T. Rufus: No, no, no, no, no, that was way too expensive. Natty Bumpercar: Uh, I, uh, whatever I did was like 150 bucks or something, uh, to, to get your own little Rufus T. Rufus: sleeping booth thing was like, I, I'm gonna guess ,000? Well, now let me, I'm gonna need to look at that contract, cause that doesn't make Natty Bumpercar: no sense at all. Rufus T. Rufus: You got your 150 to sit in a seat and you're telling me ,000 to, I don't, now Natty, Natty Bumpercar: I know you're not very good with money, but that just don't make any, even a little bit Rufus T. Rufus: of sense. Natty Bumpercar: Yeah, so, okay, um, you're in, so you just sat in a chair for 17 hours? Rufus T. Rufus: Well, no, I, um, yeah, well kind of, but no, but the chair, like it, the back went Natty Bumpercar: back, it reclined, and then like the, the little thing, your legs came up, and, um, so in theory, it should've been nice, uh, the only problem, well there were a couple Rufus T. Rufus: problems, um, I, I think that I'm about, I'm gonna say three inches too tall for whatever Natty Bumpercar: is considered, uh, to be the norm, uh, for tallness, for tallitude, because any place Rufus T. Rufus: I go, like airplanes, like this thing, my, if I had that extra three or four inches, Natty Bumpercar: then my feet wouldn't be, what just happened, crushed, my feet would not be, like I have Rufus T. Rufus: to bend them, and I'm trying to like find little places to put them, and it's miserable. Natty Bumpercar: Um, everything else is back, uh, kind of okay, um, the funny thing is, so there's this other Rufus T. Rufus: guy, who's, there's two seats on one side, two seats on the other, so I get there, and, Natty Bumpercar: uh, the seats open, and I was like, hey, and the guy was like, oh, is this you? Rufus T. Rufus: And I was like, yeah. Natty Bumpercar: So he said, wait, so he started off aggressive immediately. Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah, he didn't want a seat, a seat pal, a seat friend, whatever, and, uh, so then I Natty Bumpercar: had to squeeze in, get into my seat, and, uh, the best part was, in that 17 hours, those Rufus T. Rufus: are the only words he said to me. Natty Bumpercar: So, uh, for me, for my money, that's, that was great, because I, I didn't really feel Announcer: like chatting with him, uh, especially, so as soon as I got, and I sat down in the seat, Natty Bumpercar: he, he was kind of aggravated, and he was like, well, where's the armrest seat? Because he wanted there to be an armrest in between us, so, you know, God forbid there would be just empty space in between us, who knows? But, uh, what chicanery could have happened? None. Um, so I always just put my little headphones on and was kind of, just said goodbye, tapped out. Um, and then, the best cool thing was, at some point, I figured out there was a dining car where you could go, and, and, well, and there were booths, and I, so I got to sit in a booth, and it was much more comfortable, um, and, and, um, and then I, they had, I got a cheeseburger, which was in a plastic bag, and was microwaved, and had no business being as delicious as it was. Um, I was kind of asking about some things on the menu, and the, the woman behind the counter was, she was like, I don't know, I don't know, how's that? I don't know. Alright, what about the cheeseburger? I don't know. A lot of people seem to get it. I'm sold. Ah, with those magic words, that's all I needed. A lot of people get it. Perfect. And, um, so then I sat down, and I, uh, the Wi- there was Wi-Fi, so, hold on. What did you say? Like, Wi-Fi? Like that? It doesn't make any… Yeah, I heard him, I heard him too. I was going to say something else, and then I heard him. Is that because, are you a fancy person now, because you're riding on a train, that you're saying like, oh, Wi-Fi, like that? No, I just, it came out weird. I stopped. Um, but now, you know, so I got to use the Wi-Fis, which means I got to work, which everyone knows I love to do all the time, and, uh, now, and now, you know, I think I sat there working for probably three or four hours, and around 10.30 or so, this guy who was working on the train, uh, walked by with this box, and he was just like, hey, who wants, anybody hungry? And he just had all this free food, and he gave me, uh, a thing of, I'm going to go with chicken enchiladas, but I really don't know, and, uh, yeah, it was, it was delicious. It was spicy, and, uh, it was free, which, you know, I love free, I love working, and I love free. Um, so then, I don't, I didn't go back to the, my actual seat until closer to, like, 11.30 or 12, because I knew, like, I was tired, and I could just go, and I could pass out. All right, great, okay, so we don't need a run by, like, minute by minute of the entire trip. Um, why are you in Florida? Oh, yeah, so I'm, I'm going to a, a podcast convention called Podfest, and, um, and I get to speak at this thing. Now, hold on just a second there. What do you mean you're going to speak? You're speaking right now. Why do you, why'd you have to go 900 miles onto a, onto a, a train, and, and, and, and, just to talk? You could, I mean, you could just talk wherever you are. That's what you seem to do. Everybody always like, oh, now there's talking again. There we go, he's talking some more. Uh, yeah, I do know that people do say you do talk. Talk what? No, I'm sorry, you do talk, talk a lot. I kind of trailed off there a little bit. Um, yeah. Hey, what's, uh, what's going on with your, uh, your eye? I notice it's looking a little strange. Yes, I was, uh, so I guess earlier this week I was just kind of sitting there minding my own business, watching television or whatever, and, uh, one of my kids came in and he, he, he, he was just, hey, hey dad, and then he stopped and he got this terrified look and then he pointed at me and he goes, what's wrong with your eye? And I thought my eye just kind of hurt. I mean, it's just kind of like pressure. It's like, ah, I'm looking at the computer too much, whatever. And I got up and I, I looked in the mirror. My left eye, uh, was, uh, uh, all bright red. So, uh, uh, why was it all bright red? What do you, what happened? Well, evidently I burst, burst a blood vessel in my, in my eye. And so I had something, I don't remember the words. It was some super crazy Latin, sounded like a magic spell words. Um, and I didn't know what, so I gave it a couple of days and I was just like, maybe it'll just go away on its own. You know, I was putting ice packs on my eye, which, uh, is weird. It's like a very cold pirate type of situation. And then it wasn't going away. In fact, it was getting worse. So finally I went to a doctor and they, uh, they checked it out and they were like, ah, it's some sort of subcutaneal, blah, blah, blah, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, hemorrhage, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then it was something else too that other words that I don't know. It's always good when I go to the doctor because I come home and my wife is like, what did they say? And I'm like, I don't know. I pretty much, I'm in a conversation with the doctor listening as I should, you know, uh, paying attention. And then the second I, not even the second I step out of the door, the second they stopped talking, I've already forgotten everything that they could possibly have said. Um, so, you know, it's, um, I have an eye thing is what I like to call it. So I don't know. And you're going to go to, uh, your, your little show, your podcast show with this blood eye? Yes. I don't have it. Yes. I don't really have an option. I have drops, drops for my eye and, uh, they're, they're, uh, they're steroids. Oh, now hold on a second. I don't know if I want to see you going down that road, you know, uh, steroids and not, it's not, not something you should be messing around with. And I, uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's something just to make my eye feel better. It's going to be okay. I think. I think. I don't know. Well, wait, hold on. So you just do it in the one eye? Because what happens if your left eye bulks up from all these steroids you're not doing and your right eye just stays all puny? What is that going to, how's that going to look? How's that going to work out for you? Oh, I don't know. I didn't think of that. Maybe I should be doing both eyes. Maybe I should, I don't know. I don't know. I should probably find out about that. I, um. Well, hold on. So what is your, um, your talk, what are you talking about? The podcast, the show, you said you're talking? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm, um, talking about, uh, improvised podcasts and, uh, you know, characters and how to make it all work and all that stuff. And I, uh. Well, hold on. You're talking about improvised podcasts. We're all talking weird today. It might be the Florida in us. You're talking about improvised podcasts? This doesn't make no sense. Like all conversations are improvised for the most part, right? Well, yeah, but there are podcasts that are scripted and edited and all this stuff. And what do you mean about characters? What is that supposed to mean? Why, I mean, what are you talking about? I don't know. I don't know. You know. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.

Natty Bumpercar recounts his experience at a podcasting conference in Florida, where he lost an episode and stayed at a moldy hotel. He describes the overwhelming environment, his difficulty connecting with people, and his health issues, including a low oxygen level that led to a two-day hospital stay. Despite initial miscommunication with his team, they eventually realized something was amiss. The podcast team humorously discusses various mishaps, including lost pants and misunderstandings about HR and Healthy Ribbits magazine. You should send us an email to [email protected]. We’re here and we’re listening! Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe About This Episode Natty Bumpercar recounts his wild adventure attending Podfest, a podcasting conference in Florida, in this eventful episode of the Bumperpodcast. The trip takes a dramatic turn when Natty describes staying at a moldy hotel, feeling overwhelmed by the conference environment, and struggling to connect with fellow podcasters. Things escalate when his oxygen level drops dangerously low, landing him in the hospital for two days. Back at headquarters, the team discusses the mishaps with their usual comedic flair, including Natty's mysteriously lost pants and a running gag about HR actually standing for Healthy Ribbits magazine. The episode is a perfect blend of real-life misadventure and the Bumperpodcast's signature silly humor. Memorable Quotes “The hotel was moldy, I couldn't breathe, I lost my pants, and somehow I ended up in the hospital. Classic Podfest experience.” — Natty Bumpercar “We didn't even realize anything was wrong at first. We just thought you were being… you know… you.” — Producer “HR doesn't stand for Human Resources. It stands for Healthy Ribbits. Everyone knows that.” — Aloysius J. Pig Topics: #podfest #conference #travel #hospital #florida #pants #comedy #health Featuring: Natty Bumpercar, Producer, Aloysius J. Pig {“@context”: “https://schema.org”, “@type”: “PodcastEpisode”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast #468 u2013 Season 3 u2013 Britches”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast-467-season-3-britches/”, “datePublished”: “2026-01-30”, “episodeNumber”: 468, “partOfSeries”: {“@type”: “PodcastSeries”, “name”: “Bumperpodcast”, “url”: “https://www.nattybumpercar.com/bumperpodcast/”}} Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Explore More: Characters | About the Show | Episode Guide | All Episodes Podcast: Download | Embed Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | iHeartRadio | RSS | subscribe Full Transcript — Bumperpodcast #468 Where where where where have I been? Where have I Where have have I been? I'm here now. Uh but I was I was somewhere else. I was I was in Florida and I I I recorded an episode, but I don't I can't find it. It did not It's somewhere. It didn't upload. It didn't do any of the stuff. So, you you're just you have no idea. I went to a a a thing a pod a podcasting conference a pod fest and I spoke and it was it was it was nice. I uh I didn't manage to stay at the hotel where the conference was because I uh looked at it too late and that's fine. I was staying maybe an eight 12 minute walk away. Not too bad. Uh and you know I thought that's fine. I can walk over. I'll walk back. It's going to be pleasant. And and it was cold. And also the hotel that I was staying in, I my assumption I made an assumption was all this is in Orlando. This is very close to, you know, big things, parks, whatever. You know, people are going to come here. It's going to be nice. And well, I made a I made I made a mistake is what I did. >> Yeah. What kind of mistake did you think you did? Hold on a second. What kind? There we go. What kind of mistake do you think that you made? >> Oh uh hey pig. Um well my first mistake and I have to apologize immediat. I am so sorry that that I did not you did not come with me to the conference. I got there and I looked around and I was like I'm here by myself. I don't have any of my little gaggle of uh of friends. Uh well before you accept friends right let's just acquaintances right work friends I think that's fine >> yeah proceed yes I tend to agree that you know we are all friendly here at work hello everyone it's me producer and we are friends here at work of course but we don't really um run in the same social circle so much you know so kind of tough when you're like oh my friends you know I don't we don't know anything. You know, pretty much the second that you leave the studio, we're like, "Okay, see you later." >> But no, none of that's true. We all live at headquarters together. And no, I don't know why you're trying to make us work friends. We We are just friends. And I >> Hold on a second there, Nat. Uh, it's me, Roffus to Root T Rufus. Uh, now we're going to get into a little bit of a gray area here cuz we we now while you were gone, you know, Gallivant down uh in in sunny Florida, we you know, kind of we had a an HR meeting. >> Oh, you did human resources. How did Where did we have that here? >> Wait, you're saying HR stands for human resources? Okay, then we maybe we didn't do it right at all. Uh, we were talking about Homestar Runner. >> Oh, now hold on a second. You can't just go out just saying that. That's I think that's trade copyritten marked. We were talking about uh HR puffing stuff we were talking about. Now, hold on because I was at this meeting as well. And I thought we were talking about HR, which is of course the big magazine that's done in this swamp called Healthy Ribbits, which is all about telling frogs how to live a happy life, a healthy life. Uh we do box breeding, cro cro for 4 seconds in, 4 seconds out, and the whole thing. But I don't know what HR you guys are talking about right now. >> Yeah. Good. I'm glad that you had Okay. I again was in Florida. I staying at a hotel and it looked nice from the outside, but then you go inside and the first, you know, the lobby nice, the people nice. Uh and then you go into the elevator upstairs to the second floor where I was and it smelled like mold. It smelled like wet moldy dog, which I don't know is if that's a thing, but that was the that was that was what I was hit with as soon as I got out of the door. And it was called it was like an extended stay, which means I guess people you can live there maybe, but which doesn't make sense to me because it was far too expensive for that. Uh but every room had like a kitchenette. Wait, like a um >> wait, you saw Janette? Janette was down in Florida. Oh man, I I lost touch with Janette. so long ago. And I uh >> No, >> no, >> no. It was a kitchenette. >> Yeah, kitchenet. >> Oh, sorry. >> Yeah. Uh so a kitchenette is just a small kitchen. Sorry. Uh and and it was it was terrible and I never even uh I would walk right through there. Um all the furniture was pressed up against the wall, which was ve it was very nice looking. Uh, and and and the bed. Um, I I left the covers on and I used my bag as a pillow and um I put a what's the thing? A uh >> Is it a Is it a blanket? >> A blanket? No, not a blanket. >> Oh, if you're talking about the thing on the bed that you put on top of your cell, that's called a blanket. So, you you on the right path there. Just want to help you out. >> It could also be called like a covers. Uh, you know, you got a you got your covers, you got your blankets, you got your throws, you got your uh I don't know uh t what what is it thing that where you take the the blanket, but it's got like a empty and so you put the stuff a duvet might have been a duvet. It was loud. >> Uh or was it a uh uh an afghan? >> No, sorry. So, it was my mistake cuz I see what I put a towel down on the bed. Uh, and then I used uh a couple of other towels as as blankets. So, you guys are right with blankets. U but I used it. I didn't want to touch the bed basically. It was great. Uh I I uh fully clothed with a jacket on. It was good. It was really comfortable sleeping in in mold. Um, and I I you know, if I find the hidden episode hidden, by hidden, I mean lost. Uh, it'll tell you all about that the the train that I took down there. I drove to a place and then put my car on a train and then I got on a train and it was a it was an adventure. Uh, but not now. I want to talk about. So I I would go to the the the podfest, right, and wander around and there were all kinds of people there and there were all kinds of talks and there were lectures and there were uh there was a a hall of people selling their wares, hawking their goods. And I uh you know, I would walk up and I'd be like, "Hi." Like, "Oh." And oh, do you have a podcast? was like, "Yeah, you know, you have a I have to wear a badge. It had my name, had the bumper, podcast, all the stuff." And and and and I, you know, it was it said uh speaker. It was red on the bottom. And so then they would talk to me a little bit. Uh but I just it was I had a hard time connecting with people. It was very loud. It was very overwhelming, overstimulating. And um you know, but you know, that's kind of the nature of of the the thing. I think I uh intentionally went to this to be outside of my comfort zone and whoa boy was I. So, uh I got there on Thursday and I went to this thing and I went for a lot of the day on Friday and was kind of just feeling like ick. And so I ended up just going out and getting dinner uh and wandering around like this shopping place, which was, you know, not what I was there for, but uh I needed to uh to to reset a little bit. And uh had the most delicious fried chicken that I think I've ever had. Uh then I I got up the next morning and I was like, "All right, I'm gonna my my talk is at 3:30 and I'm gonna I'm gonna get up and I'm not going to go straight there. I'm going to go someplace where I can work and I'm going to build out my my uh >> Are you intentious presentation and everything? >> Your presentations. You're not presenting well today. I got to say this is Are you intentionally being boring or what? What are we doing? Is this how we do the podcast now? We're trying to Is this a sleep podcast? We trying to lull people to sleep. >> Fine. No, I'll skip ahead. I did my talk. I didn't feel great and I kind of lost my voice while I was talking. I was like, "Oh, this is strange." And felt a little lightheaded, so I went to urgent care. Oh, hold on a second. I don't I don't want to dismerge nobody, but you went to an urgent care in Florida. Well, yeah. I didn't have many options. I was in Florida, but I tested negative for everything. No, no flu, no strep, whatever. And so, they gave me some meds and I was like, "All right, I'm on the mend." But then the next morning, I woke up and I felt terrible. And then I had to drive 20 hours back. And I got home on a Monday and I should have gone to the hospital then because uh there was no breathing. I was there was no there was I was it was a distinct lack of breathing. Um and uh no no temperature. All right. You know just uh no breathing. And uh I I was like I'll tough this out. I've already gone to the doctor. I've already gotten my meds. I should be fine. >> I What kind of meds did they give to you because you was you know you said you were in Florida. Was it like a a tic tac or like like a lifesaver or just a piece of bubble gum or something? >> No, no, no, no. It it was >> I would love a tic tac right now. Huh? Right. No, honestly, I could too. Uh it was just like medicine. Med medicine medicine. I don't know. Um but I I I I took it everything and I did all the stuff and I got home and then Wednesday, uh finally we had this little doodad where you put your finger in and it tells you how much oxygen you have. Uh, pulse oximter is what it's called. >> Oh, look who won gun on Florida and become all smart. Sound like a scientist. Look at you. I'm proud of you. Thanks. I appreciate it. So, but it was it was it was uh 92 is a number on it. And I finally did a little research and I was like, well, what is it supposed to be? You know, and it was like, if it goes to 90 or 92, you should already be in the emergency room. And if it goes below that, you're not you're done. Don't worry about it. And I was like, "Oh, it's probably been at 90 or lower or something like for the past two days." So, I said, "All right, I'm going to go to the I'm going to go to the ER. I'm going to get checked out. Got to make sure that everything's okay." Drove over there. Was fine driving. Fine. And I uh I got there at the door and there's a guard and he said, "Hey, what are you what are you here for? What do you what do you what do you want? Huh? A tic tac? And I was like, "No, no, no." And uh I said, "Oh, I can't I can't breathe." And then they threw me into a wheelchair and they zipped me back and then they kept me in the hospital for two days. Two days. That's where I've been. >> So every time that the phone was ringing and it had the name of the hospital, was that was that was that you? Should we have been answering that? because Rufus was afraid it was like a bill that he hadn't paid and so we just, >> you know, we kept letting go to voicemail. >> Yeah, that was >> that was me. >> Should we apologize? >> I mean, you don't have to because I guess you didn't know it was me, but I guess you could have either answered the phone or listened to the message uh the multiple messages I think that were sent. Did you Did none of you worry? Did none of you wonder where I had gone to? >> No. Honestly, no. because you know you just went to Florida and you left us and so we're like oh looks like somebody's going on another big podcast trip or wherever he goes it's you know and so I you know we maybe you know maybe we did we didn't know where you were but maybe we were just like he's too big for his bridges and he doesn't want to talk to us anymore because we're just like oh we're just a little bumper podcast you know. >> Yeah. Speaking of which, uh, uh, uh, britches. Um, does anybody I had a pile of bridges that I had washed and dried and I don't They were like I stacked them. I folded them. They were all perfect and now I I don't know. I don't know where they went. >> Now you're saying breaches. >> Britches. >> Breaches? >> No. Britches? >> Like dungarees? >> Yeah, like pants. I I don't know. Are they called britches? Isn't that a thing? >> I think that's fine. >> Is that like a brand? No, I think it's just like a different >> I think it's a different name. But if people are stealing people's pants, then we might have to get HR back in here. >> Oh, we're going to call Healthy Frog and get them back in there. Perfect. I have a great idea for a recipe. Okay. >> NO. The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumper Car and some of his pals. It is familyfriendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https/www.patreon.com/nattybumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Share it with everyone everywhere. Post about it on all of the social medias or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Alawishious J. Pig, Rufus, Tufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumper Car. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com/subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at natty bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon. Natty Bumpercar: Where, where, where, where have I been? Where have I, where have, have I been? I'm here now, but I was, I was somewhere else. I was, I was in Florida and I, I recorded an episode, but I don't, I can't find it. It did not, it's somewhere. It didn't upload, it didn't do any of the stuff. So you, you're just, you have no idea. I went to a thing, a pod, a podcasting conference, a pod fest, and I spoke and it was, it was, it was nice. I, I didn't manage to stay at the hotel where the conference was because I looked at it too late and that's fine. I was staying maybe an eight, 12 minute walk away, not too bad. And you know, I thought that's fine. I can walk over, I'll walk back. It's going to be pleasant. And it was cold. And also the hotel that I was staying in, I, my assumption, I made an assumption was this is in Orlando. This is very close to, you know, big things, parks, whatever, you know, people are going to come here. It's going to be nice. And well, I made a, I made, I made a mistake is what I did. Yeah. Aloysious J. Pig: What kind of mistake did you think? Natty Bumpercar: Hold on a second. What kind of, there we go. Aloysious J. Pig: What kind of mistake do you think that you made? Natty Bumpercar: Oh, uh, hey pig. Um, well my first mistake, and I have to apologize immediately, I should have started off with this. I am so sorry that, that I did not, that you did not come with me to the conference. I got there and I looked around and I was like, I'm here by myself. I don't have any of my little gaggle of, uh, of, of friends. Aloysious J. Pig: Uh, well, before you say friends, right, let's just, acquaintances, right? Work friends. I think that's fine. Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah. Okay now proceed. Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Producer: I tend to agree that, you know, we're all friendly here at work. Hello everyone. It's me, producer. And we are friends here at work, of course, um, but we don't really, um, run in the same social circles so much, you know, so it's kind of tough when you're like, oh, my friends, I don't know. I don't, we don't know anything. You know, pretty much the second that you leave the studio, we're like, okay, see you later. Aloysious J. Pig: But no, none of that's true. We all live at headquarters together and no, I don't know why you're trying to make us work friends. We, we are just friends and I, uh, Rufus T. Rufus: Hold on a second there, Natty. It's me, Rufus, T. Rufus, uh, now we're going to get into a little bit of a gray area here because we, we, now while you were gone, you know, gallivanting down, uh, in, in sunny Florida, we, you know, kind of, we had a, an HR meeting. Natty Bumpercar: Oh, you did? Human resources? How did, where did, we don't have that here. Rufus T. Rufus: Wait, you're saying HR stands for human resources? Okay, then we, maybe we didn't do it right at all. Uh, we were talking about Homestar Runner. Aloysious J. Pig: Whoa, now hold on a second. You can't just go out just saying that. That's, I think that's trade copywritten, marked. Rufus T. Rufus: We were talking about, uh, HR, perf and stuff, right? Natty Bumpercar: No, no, no, hold on because I was at this meeting as well and I thought we were talking about HR, which is of course the big magazine that's done in this swamp called Healthy Ribbits, which is all about telling frogs how to live a happy life, a healthy life. We do box breathing, uh, croak, croak, for four seconds in, four seconds out, and the whole thing. But I don't know what HR you guys are talking about right now. Aloysious J. Pig: Yeah, good. Natty Bumpercar: I'm glad that you had, okay, I, again, was in Florida, I staying at a hotel and it looked nice from the outside, but then you go inside and the first, you know, the lobby, nice, the people, nice, uh, and then you go into the elevator upstairs to the second floor where I was and it smelled like mold. It smelled like wet moldy dog, which I don't know if that's a thing, but that was the, that was, that was what I was hit with as soon as I got out of the door. And it was called, it was like an extended stay, which means I guess people, you can live there maybe, but that, which doesn't make sense to me because it was far too expensive for that. Uh, but every room had like a kitchenette, like a, um, Producer: Wait, you saw Jeanette? Jeanette was down in Florida? Oh man, I, I lost touch with Jeanette so long ago and I, uh, Natty Bumpercar: No. Producer: No. Natty Bumpercar: No. It was a kitchenette. Producer: Yeah. Natty Bumpercar: Kitchenette. Producer: Oh, sorry. Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Uh, so a kitchenette is just a small kitchen. Producer: Sorry. Natty Bumpercar: Uh, and, and it was, it was terrible and I never even, uh, I would walk right through there. Um, all the furniture was pressed up against the wall, which was very, it was very nice looking. Uh, and, and, and the bed, um, I left the covers on and I used my bag as a pillow and, um, I put a, what's the thing? A, uh, Producer: Is it a blanket? Natty Bumpercar: A blanket. No, not a blanket. Uh, Producer: If you're talking about the thing on the bed that you put on top of yourself, that's called a blanket. So you were on the right path there. Natty Bumpercar: Well, it could also be called like a covers. Uh, you know, you gotta, you got your covers, you got your blankets, you got your throws, you got your, uh, I don't know. Uh, what is it, you take the blanket, but it's got like an empty, and so you put the stuff, a duvet, you might, might've been a duvet. That was loud. Uh, or was it a, uh, uh, an afghan? No, sorry. So it was my mistake cause I see what, I put a towel down on the bed, uh, and then I used, uh, a couple of other towels as, as blankets. So you guys are right with blankets. Um, but I used it, I didn't want to touch the bed basically. It was great. Uh, I, I, uh, fully clothed with a jacket on. It was good. It was really comfortable sleeping in, in mold. Um, and I, I, you know, if I find the hidden episode, hidden by hidden, I mean lost, uh, it'll tell you all about the, the, the train that I took down there. I drove to a place and then put my car on a train and then I got on a train and it was a, it was an adventure. Uh, but not now I want to talk about, so I, I would go to the, the, the podfest, right? And wander around. And there were all kinds of people there and there were all kinds of talks and there were lectures and there were, uh, there was a, a hall of people selling their wares, hawking their goods. And I, uh, you know, I, I would walk up and I'd be like, hi, and they're like, oh, and they go, do you have a podcast? I was like, yeah. You know, and you have a, I have to wear a badge and I had my name, had the bumper podcast, all the stuff. And, and, and, and I, you know, it was, I said, uh, speaker, it was red on the bottom. And so then they would talk to me a little bit. Uh, but I just, it was, I had a hard time connecting with people. It was very loud. It was very overwhelming, overstimulating and, um, you know, but you know, that's kind of the nature of, of the thing. I think I, uh, intentionally went to this to be outside of my comfort zone and whoa, boy, was I. So, uh, I got there on Thursday and I went to this thing and I went for a lot of the day on Friday and was kind of just feeling like ick. And so I ended up just going out and getting dinner, uh, and wandering around like this shopping place, which was, you know, not what I was there for, but, uh, I needed to, uh, to, to reset a little bit and, uh, had the most delicious fried chicken that I think I've ever had. Uh, then I, I got up the next morning and I was like, all right, I'm going to, my, my talk is at three 30 and I'm going to, I'm going to get up and I'm not going to go straight there. I'm going to go someplace where I can work and I'm going to build out my, my, uh, presentation and everything. Rufus T. Rufus: Your presentations. Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Rufus T. Rufus: You're not presenting well today. I got to say, this is, are you intentionally being boring or what? What are we doing? Is this how we do the podcast now? We're trying to, is this a sleep podcast? Are we trying to lull people to sleep? Natty Bumpercar: Fine. No, I'll skip ahead. I did my talk. I didn't feel great and I kind of lost my voice while I was talking. I was like, oh, this is strange. And felt a little lightheaded. So I went to urgent care. Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, hold on a second. I don't, I don't want to besmirch nobody, but you went to an urgent care in Florida? Natty Bumpercar: Well, yeah, I didn't have many options. I was in Florida, but I tested negative for everything. No, no flu, no strep, whatever. And so they gave me some meds and I was like, all right, I'm on the mend. But then the next morning I woke up and I felt terrible. And then I had to drive 20 hours back and I got home on a Monday and I should have gone to the hospital then because there was no breathing. I was, there was no, it was, it was a distinct lack of breathing. And no, no temperature. Rufus T. Rufus: All right. Natty Bumpercar: You know, just no breathing. And I was like, I'll tough this out. I've already gone to the doctor. I've already gotten my meds. I should be fine. Rufus T. Rufus: What kind of meds did they give to you? Because you were, you know, you said you were in Florida. Was it like a Tic Tacs or something like a lifesaver or just a piece of bubble gum or something? Natty Bumpercar: No, no, no, no. It was, it was. Man, I would love a Tic Tac right now, huh? Right? Rufus T. Rufus: No, honestly, I could too. Natty Bumpercar: It was just like medicine, medicine. I don't know. But I took it everything and I did all the stuff and I got home. And then Wednesday, finally we had this little doodad where you put your finger in and it tells you how much oxygen you have. Pulse oximeter is what it's called. Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, look who'd want gunned down in Florida and become all smart. Sound like a scientist. Look at you. I'm proud of you. Natty Bumpercar: Thanks. I appreciate it. Rufus T. Rufus: Ooh. Natty Bumpercar: So, but it was, it was, it was 92 is the number on it. And I finally did a little research and I was like, well, what is it supposed to be? You know? And it was like, if it goes to 90 or 92, you should already be in the emergency room. And if it goes below that, you're not, you're done. Don't worry about it. And I was like, oh, it's probably been at 90 or lower or something like for the past two days. So I said, all right, I'm going to go to the, I'm going to go to the ER, I'm going to get checked out. I'm going to make sure that everything's okay. Drove over there. Was fine driving. Fine. And I, uh, I got there at the door and there's a guard and he said, hey, what are you, what are you here for? What do you, what do you, what do you want? And I was like, ah, a tic-tac. And I was like, no, no, no. And I said, I can't, I can't breathe. And then they threw me into a wheelchair and they zipped me back and then they kept me in the hospital for two days. Two days. Rufus T. Rufus: Wait. Natty Bumpercar: That's where I've been. Rufus T. Rufus: So every time that the phone was ringing and it had the name of the hospital, was that, Natty Bumpercar: was that, was that you? Should we have been answering that? Rufus T. Rufus: Because Rufus was afraid it was like a bill that he hadn't paid. So we just, you know, we kept letting it go to voicemail. Natty Bumpercar: That was, that was me. Should we apologize? I mean, you don't have to, because I guess you didn't know it was me, but I guess you could have either answered the phone or listened to the message. The multiple messages I think that were sent. Did you, did none of you worry? Did none of you wonder where I had gone to? Rufus T. Rufus: Honestly, no, because you know, you had just went to Florida and you left us. And so we're like, oh, looks like somebody's going on another big podcast trip or whatever he goes, you know. And so I, you know, I, we maybe, you know, maybe we did, we didn't know where you were, but maybe we were just like, he's too big for his britches and he doesn't want to talk to us anymore because we're just like, oh, we're just a little bumper podcast, you know? Natty Bumpercar: Yeah. Rufus T. Rufus: Speaking of which, uh, uh, uh, britches, um, is anybody, I had a pile of britches that I had washed and dried and I don't, they were like, I stacked them, I folded them. They were all perfect. And now I don't know, I don't know where they went. Natty Bumpercar: Now y'all, y'all saying breeches? Rufus T. Rufus: Britches. Natty Bumpercar: Breeches. Rufus T. Rufus: No, britches. Natty Bumpercar: Like dungarees? Rufus T. Rufus: Yeah. Natty Bumpercar: Like pants. I don't know. Are they called britches? Isn't that a thing? Rufus T. Rufus: I think that's fine. Natty Bumpercar: Yes. Is that like a brand? Rufus T. Rufus: No, I think it's just like a different thing. Natty Bumpercar: I'm confused. Rufus T. Rufus: I think it's a different name, but if people are stealing people's pants, then we might Natty Bumpercar: have to get HR back in here. Rufus T. Rufus: Oh, we're going to call Healthy Frog and get them back in here? Natty Bumpercar: Perfect. Rufus T. Rufus: I have a great idea for a recipe, okay? Natty Bumpercar: No! Announcer/Network Voice: The Bumper Podcast is an oftentimes hilarious weekly romp with Natty Bumpercar and some of his pals. It is family-friendly, clean, and ridiculous. Thanks a bundle for listening. If you love our show and you'd like to help support the podcast, check out our Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com forward slash Natty Bumpercar. Also, pretty please subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, share it with everyone everywhere, post about it on all of the social medias, or leave a rating and review. The Bumper Podcast is produced at headquarters in Coffee Can Alley. It's recorded, mixed, and produced by a producer. The Bumper Podcast features contributions from Aloysius J. Pig, Rufus T. Rufus, Doodle Poodle, Robot, Trunks, and a gaggle of other silly rascals. Our head talker is probably Natty Bumpercar. We also have an absurd newsletter. Check it out and subscribe at nattybumpercar.com slash subscribe. Also, you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at Natty Bumpercar. Hugs and hearts. See you soon.