What It Says On the Tin

When it comes to sex and gender, labels can be helpful and affirming, but they can also be limiting and divisive. This week, we discuss our own labels, and what we think they achieve for us. The Purpose(s) of Labels | Identity Affirmation | Internal vs. External Benefits | Bisexual | Queer | Pansexual | Sexuality vs. Gender | Queer Femme | Trans F*g | Reclaiming Slurs | Outsider | Coming Out Many Times Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Asexuality is a highly misunderstood identity, so this week we’re discussing what it means to be ace – and why Kate is newly identifying that way!What is Asexuality? | Access to Information | Neurodivergence | Why Use the Label? | (Not) Being Into Bodies | Coming Out to Allo People | Aromanticism | Hard Feelings | Are Ace People Queer? | Choice vs. “Born This Way” | Ace by Angela Chen Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, we give more advice on play parties, including how to become a DM, how to approach a stranger for play, and how to take care of yourself emotionally during an event. Flirting & Professionalism | Becoming a DM | When to Get a DM | Rookie Mistakes | Taking Notes | How to Approach People | Mood Management | Approaching Tops | Handling Overwhelm Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Party time! This week, we discuss etiquette and preparation for attending a play party, whether it’s sex-focused, kink-focused, or both. Sex as a Hobby | Beginners | Verbal vs. Non-Verbal Communication | Spontaneity | Vulnerability | Compartmentalization | Expectations vs. Reality | Preparing | Setting Intentions | Spectating | What to Wear | Sex vs. Kink | Archetypes Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

We always love learning about interesting fetishes, and this week we’ve got a bunch of juicy ones to discuss, from bomb-shaped women to pig-shaped men. Explodey Babes | Bi Confusion | Pig Transformation | Sperm Bank Muff Dive | Tongue Fetish | Ties & Ties | Theme Nights | Quitting Smoking Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Watching movies and TV shows with a partner can be surprisingly bonding and eye-opening! This week we discuss the ways our relationships have benefited from enjoying media with partners. Talking During Movies | Inside Jokes | Disconnection vs. Intimacy | Conversation-Starters | Complexity & Nuance | Choosing Movies | The Birdcage | Content Notes vs. No Spoilers | Art vs. Escapism | The Room | Same Time, Next Year | Eyes Wide Shut | With Love and a Major Organ Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week we dig deeper into the subject of sexual selfishness, answering questions like: Can it be selfish to give pleasure? How can you satisfy a stone person? And is there really a top shortage? Casual vs. Long-Term | Getting Tired & ‘Hard Mode’ | Owning Your Desires | Communication & Compliments | Willing vs. Into | Stone Reciprocity | Xan West on Stone Identity | Allow vs. Tolerate/Endure | Selfish Altruism | Top Shortage | Kate’s Moan Audios | Indirect Clit Stim Techniques Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

What does it mean to be selfish in bed, and is it always necessarily a bad thing? This week we discuss our relationships to “selfishness” and receiving pleasure. Bottoming vs. Being Selfish | Negative Connotations | Straights vs. Queers | Wide Range of Pleasures | “You Do Me, Then I Do You” | Switching | /r/RandomActsOfMuffDive | Bottoming Skills | Guilt & Shame | Pleasure Doms | Gendered Tropes | Tops’ Pleasure | Masking vs. Vulnerability Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Talking about sex is hard, which is why so many sex educators try to “meet people where they’re at,” a concept we unpack this week to help you have better conversations about sex. Zero Tolerance vs. Harm Reduction | Don’t Be Elitist! | Avoiding Shame Triggers | Self-Disclosure | Jokey Approach | Questions & Assumptions | Assessing Knowledge Level | Self-Criticism Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, we celebrated International Kissing Day by answering listener questions about kissing! “We Should Make Out” | Hormone Changes | Kissing Men | Consent-Asks | Feeling Overwhelmed | Toys & Practice | Sexual Stimulation Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.