Set the Record Straight

To celebrate Halloween, this week we’re discussing some of the scarier aspects of heterosexual culture! Dating Straight People | Not Gay | The Tragedy of Heterosexuality | Does Straightness Exist? | Cultural Differences | Default Script | Anti-Pleasure Pressures | How to Do Nothing | Mono-Normativity | Media Models | Combativeness | “Hall Passes” | Opposite-Sex Friendships | Love, Inc. | Gendered Socialization | Dr. NerdLove | Lube Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Regularly-scheduled “check-in” conversations are one way to keep a relationship strong – so this week, we discuss our favorite ways of checking in, and how we manage anxiety that may come up around it. As-Needed vs. Regularly Scheduled | Solutions vs. Breakups | “Ruining the Vibe” | Us vs. the Problem (The Monster Under the Bed) | Managing Anxiety & Avoidance | Check-In Card Deck | Positive Reinforcement | Defamiliarization | Not a Bad Sign | The “Why” | When Not to Check In | When to Take a Break | Good Questions | Sex & D/s | Upcoming Plans | Ask Me About… | Aftercare | How to Do Nothing Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, Kate and mb interview the brilliant Tuck Woodstock, host of the Gender Reveal podcast and co-editor of the hilarious new anthology Sex Change and the City! We couldn’t help but wonder: Does Sex and the City ‘hold up’ for modern viewers, especially queer and trans ones? Which Character Are You? | Which Character Is Trans? | Why SatC? | 2 Trans 2 Furious | Watching SatC Now | Queer & Trans Contributors | Grant & Mutual Aid Programs | Nonbinary Representation | Che Diaz & Rock Goldenblatt | Sub4Sub & Top4Top | Erotica | Advice on Publishing | mb’s Bus Tour | Straight People Zoos | STI Testing | ADHD Jazz Bassist | The Bisexual Episode | Tokenism | Book Tour | Non-Canon Ships | Sex Change and the City Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

How has our relationship to service kink changed as we’ve gotten older, done more therapy, and moved in with our partners? This week we discuss our currently thoughts and feelings on service. Identity? | Feeling Useful & Impressive | Work & Resentment | Tradwives vs. Kinksters | Living Together | Cocktail Genders | Majordomo Duties | Praise & Acknowledgment | Dream Scenes Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

People believe all kinds of nonsense about anal play, so this week we’re busting myths about butt stuff.Makes You Gay | Homophobe Ick | (Un)Natural? | Masculinity | “Sides” | Pain & Numbing | Sphincters | Permanent Damage | Pregnancy | Loophole | Good Feminist | Tops Should Bottom | Always Up For It | Shit Happens Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Are some sexual labels more cringe than others? Do our public labels differ from our private ones? And what’s up with people who don’t think we should use labels at all? This week, we’re continuing to dive deep on sex & gender identity labels. Tired & Old | “I Don’t Like Labels” | “Cringe” Identities | Gynosexual | Bicurious | Sapiosexual | Public vs. Private Identities | Letting Go of Labels | Labels vs. Diagnoses | Validation & Affirmation | Beyond Clothing | Walking Like John Wayne Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

When it comes to sex and gender, labels can be helpful and affirming, but they can also be limiting and divisive. This week, we discuss our own labels, and what we think they achieve for us. The Purpose(s) of Labels | Identity Affirmation | Internal vs. External Benefits | Bisexual | Queer | Pansexual | Sexuality vs. Gender | Queer Femme | Trans F*g | Reclaiming Slurs | Outsider | Coming Out Many Times Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Asexuality is a highly misunderstood identity, so this week we’re discussing what it means to be ace – and why Kate is newly identifying that way!What is Asexuality? | Access to Information | Neurodivergence | Why Use the Label? | (Not) Being Into Bodies | Coming Out to Allo People | Aromanticism | Hard Feelings | Are Ace People Queer? | Choice vs. “Born This Way” | Ace by Angela Chen Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

This week, we give more advice on play parties, including how to become a DM, how to approach a stranger for play, and how to take care of yourself emotionally during an event. Flirting & Professionalism | Becoming a DM | When to Get a DM | Rookie Mistakes | Taking Notes | How to Approach People | Mood Management | Approaching Tops | Handling Overwhelm Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.  

Party time! This week, we discuss etiquette and preparation for attending a play party, whether it’s sex-focused, kink-focused, or both. Sex as a Hobby | Beginners | Verbal vs. Non-Verbal Communication | Spontaneity | Vulnerability | Compartmentalization | Expectations vs. Reality | Preparing | Setting Intentions | Spectating | What to Wear | Sex vs. Kink | Archetypes Credits:Music by PROTODOMEArtwork by Addison FinchBecome a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.