Episode 150 | "Retreat, Hell" (Feat. Patrick Trujillo)

Marine Vet, Entrepreneur, and Marketing & Communications Manager, Patrick Trujillo opens up about the weight of five deployments, the silent damage of pride, and the night it all came crashing down. But this isn’t where the story ends — it’s where it finally starts to make sense.   After the Marine Corps, Patrick found himself in a battle no one prepared him for: civilian life. And that’s when he found the Warrior-Scholar Project. He didn’t just get help — he got a mission.   In this episode, we talk about: The boot camp lesson that rewired his understanding of leadership How Warrior-Scholar restored his identity and gave him academic confidence The importance of veterans having space to be students, not just survivors Why he now helps other vets sit where he once sat: broken, angry, but not done   This one’s for anyone who thought their story peaked in uniform. It didn’t. It starts where you think it’s over.   🔗 Resources Mentioned:   🌐 Warrior-Scholar Project (Homepage) 📚 Explore WSP Programs 📝 Apply as a Scholar 💡 Support or Donate        To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected]     Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast       Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0

YNCS Ashley Williams is back! This time, she’s joining us on a bonus episode. This episode is our first Q&A session, featuring questions submitted directly from listeners and pulled from the internet. Topics include what it means to buy into the CPO Creed, whether putting in an officer package is still worth it, and how to lead Sailors who make more money outside the Navy than they do in uniform. A Reddit post about a Sailor checking into a command on Juneteenth — without knowing anything going on — sparks a bigger conversation about responsibility, communication, and culture. These and more topics are covered on this episode.       Book of the Week: Tupac Shakur: The Authorized Biography by Staci Robinson       To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected]     Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast       Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0

This episode is dedicated to Angelina Resendiz. Your presence made an impact that will never be forgotten. This conversation is for you — and because of you.   The crew is joined by AZCM (Ret.) Courtney Barber. The episode opens with a debate about The Carter III and whether or not it’s overrated. From there, the conversation turns to Tyler Perry’s Straw, Teyana Taylor’s performance, and whether streaming releases are in the same league as theatrical films. Spoiler alert — they also react to the twist ending and discuss how the film handles grief, breakdowns, and trauma. The crew reflects on time spent in New Orleans, the weight of anniversaries, and moments that still linger. They congratulate James Sandifer on being elected mayor of Lumberton. Then the conversation shifts to the Army’s 250th birthday celebration and questions around military spending, followed by VADM Cheeseman’s retirement, a first look at the new CPO eval, and a photo of a Master Chief that sparked questions about standards and image. They also touch on the renaming of military bases, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth’s recent appearance before Congress, and the challenge of applying today’s mindset to past decisions. Tisha closes by sharing thoughts on working in a job that doesn’t align with your values — and what it means to try to make a difference anyway. These and more topics are covered on this episode.       To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected]   Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast       Keep up with our guest, Courtney, at the following: https://www.unapologeticallyfavored.net/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAafezGfvmmk6Mr1InJrOdUCu8-cL5gaWJrkq1VWvvw1xaNuKS_AyIv6iPGR4WA_aem_t5d4HRHe3ZOpRYNvOTTalw   Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/unapologeticallyfavored/?ref=_xav_ig_profile_page_web_0515#   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/unapologeticallycak?igsh=bW5nY3U5ODAzaDhn       Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0

Hosted by: Damon, Damon, & Tisha Guest Hosts: CMDCM Aaron Paul & YNCS (Ret.) Coby Turner Featured Guest: CMDCM Frank Jackson   In this week’s episode of Permission to Speak Freely, the crew jumps straight into chaos—because why ease into anything?   We open with a wild Facebook post about a military divorce that involves a holiday party hookup, a surprise paternity reveal, and a woman wondering if she’s still entitled to half her retiring husband’s paycheck—even though the kid ain’t his and the CO might be the father. Yeah… it gets there fast. And no, we’re not making any of that up.   From there, the conversation pivots into the serious stuff: leadership, accountability, and the fallout from yet another high-profile scandal in the Navy. The crew breaks down what happens when people at the top forget who they’re supposed to be—and what it means when everyone below them sees it happening. Guest, CMDCM Frank Jackson brings the heat with talk of Bathsheba Syndrome, Fat Leonard comparisons, and the quiet rot that builds when no one speaks up.   We also unpack a Reddit post that calls out toxic command climates, and instead of brushing it off, the crew actually leans in and listens. Add in a “do better” submission about LPO drama, some hard truths about the Chief season grind, and a little command identity crisis (spoiler: quarterdecks don’t belong in office buildings), and this episode covers it all.     To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected]   Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast     Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0

About our guest: Lieutenant Commander (Ret.) James Sandifer, a proud native of Lumberton, Mississippi, served 30 years in the United States Navy. Rising from E-1 to Lieutenant Commander, he built a decorated career in air traffic control and leadership across multiple global deployments and operational theaters. Sandifer is a combat-tested veteran who supported Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom, with tours onboard CVNs like the USS George Washington and USS Harry S. Truman. His military journey is rooted in faith, mentorship, and resilience. Now back home and running for mayor of Lumberton, Sandifer’s “Choose to Change” campaign is focused on unity, youth empowerment, infrastructure reform, and restoring pride in the community.   About This Episode: In this episode, Damo, Tisha, and Aaron sit down with retired Navy Lieutenant Commander James Sandifer—Lumberton, Mississippi native and current mayoral candidate—for a candid and inspiring conversation about leadership, legacy, and choosing to change your community from the inside out. James reflects on his upbringing in a small Southern town, the values he inherited working hayfields and watermelon farms, and how that foundation set the tone for a 30-year career in the U.S. Navy. He opens up about early career missteps, nearly getting derailed during his first tour in Puerto Rico, and the life-altering mentorship that set him on a new trajectory. From rising through the ranks to Chief and ultimately retiring as a Lieutenant Commander, James shares the hard lessons he learned about leadership, ego, humility, and faith. He talks about earning respect in the air traffic control community despite being told he wouldn’t make it, and how mentorship from both Black and white leaders helped mold his character. The episode also explores Sandifer’s return home to a town that’s seen population decline, economic challenges, and systemic neglect. He breaks down his “Choose to Change” campaign platform, highlighting issues like school district failures, sewage infrastructure, poverty, and racial division. But more importantly, he speaks on unity, youth empowerment, and what it truly means to serve after service. We also get lighter moments: push-up competitions on the campaign trail, his Waffle House order, and why Cuevas Fish House will always outrank Ruth’s Chris in his book. These and more topics are explored in this episode.   To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected] Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast       James’ Book Recommendation: Chop Wood Carry Water (Joshua Medcalf) https://www.amazon.com/Chop-Wood-Carry-Water-audiobook/dp/B01MS3QS8K   Follow James Sandifer and his campaign for Mayor of Lumberton: @voteforsandifer (Linktree) https://linktr.ee/voteforsandifer?utm_source=linktree_profile_share&ltsid=c190aa3f-d12d-4be2-8009-1fef6f18fec1       Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0

What happens when a high-speed, cyber-savvy Senior Chief finally puts it in park? CTRCS Candace Esquivel joins us fresh off two decades of doing all the things—deploying nonstop, supporting special warfare, shaping policy on the Hill, and holding it down at N17 like it’s the Pentagon’s group chat. Now she’s eyeing retirement and asking the real questions: Do I want a family? Should I adopt? Can I slow down without losing my mind? And why the hell do flowers die so fast? We get into the deep stuff—miscarriage, fertility, career identity—and still find time to roast the Chiefs Mess, crack jokes about uniform shortages, and break news about a raccoon in Ohio caught with a meth pipe. (You read that right.) It’s honest, layered, and just the right amount of petty. A love letter to the women holding it all down, and a reminder that you’re allowed to walk away even when you’re great at what you do.   What We Talk About: •Life at N17 and what Sailors don’t see behind policy •Deploying every year for 9 straight years •Why she’s walking away at 20 years—and what comes next •Fertility fears, freezing eggs, and making space for motherhood •The realities of military pregnancy and miscarriage •Chiefs Mess culture—who’s in it, and who’s missing •What it means to “complete your mission” and still want more •And yes… a raccoon with a meth pipe in Ohio   About CTRCS Candace Esquivel: A Cleveland native and a member of the 9/11 generation, CTRCS Esquivel enlisted in the Navy in 2005. Her career spans deployments aboard the USS BUNKER HILL and USS BOXER, elite service with Naval Special Warfare Development Group, and cyber ops with Joint Cyber Operations Group. In 2022, she served as a DoD Congressional Fellow advising on cyber and defense policy. A graduate of the Navy and Joint Special Operations Senior Enlisted Academies, she holds a bachelor’s in Management Studies and serves as a board member of The Valkyrie Project, championing female service members across the force.       Connect With Candace & The Valkyrie Project: •The Valkyrie Project •YouTube: Military Women’s Symposiums •LinkedIn: Candace Esquivel       To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected]       Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast       Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0

Damo officially welcomes Aaron to the team as a researcher. The guys discuss leadership tempo, mentorship, and the challenges of balancing personal fitness goals with operational commitments. Damo vents about his frustration with lunch meetings interfering with his only real chance to hit the gym, prompting a candid discussion about whether Sailors have enough time to PT at their own pace. What about “bad day chits”? The guys talk fitness standards, empathy in leadership, and the importance of creating space for real conversations with Sailors about well-being. Damo’s hype, because he has his first mentee in years.  He opens up about working on his End of Tour award and questioning whether it’s necessary. The two reflect on award culture, personal recognition, and the moments where impact matters more than accolades. That conversation bleeds into a funny but honest admission: ChatGPT might be making Damo a worse writer, at least when putting pen to paper. Damo shares a personal story of a shipmate who was isolated by leadership after an alleged incident.  They also touch on recent inspections at the barracks, emphasizing the need for genuine accountability and not just cleaning up when leadership visits. What’s the Navy’s policy on bracelets? Aaron asks a real one: how do you correct a Chief with a jacked-up uniform? The guys answer a few questions from listeners: from whether the culture can change, to who would win a war between Snipes and Supply, and how the Navy applies (or ignores) the idea of “One Team, One Fight.” A few recent headlines are discussed: SECDEF’s “No More Walking on Eggshells” policy, removal of transgender servicemembers, and DoD efforts to reduce the number of flag officers. They also discuss reports of fighter jets lost from USS Truman and troops allegedly detained during a DEA nightclub raid in Colorado. Damo blames Aaron for the cliffhanger, and the episode closes with Aaron’s “Do Better” reminder: don’t just go through the motions when it comes to training because your people deserve more than that. These and more topics are covered in this episode.   To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected]   Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast   Books of the Week: Damo - Fight (Jonathan Allen) https://www.harpercollins.com/products/fight-jonathan-allenamie-parnes?variant=43464319860770   Aaron - Shoot The Women First (Eileen MacDonald), Immortal Valor (Robert Child) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6817549-shoot-the-women-first   Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0

About our Guest: T. Shane Johnson is a United States Marine Corps veteran, entrepreneur, author, ultra-endurance athlete, and motivational speaker. After surviving extreme physical trauma and homelessness, he rebuilt his life through faith and purpose. Today, he owns a veteran-focused coffee shop with his daughter and travels the country teaching self-reliance, connection, and healing. He’s a Guinness World Record holder and national speaker dedicated to helping others repurpose pain into meaningful action.   Episode Notes: TShane Johnson’s story isn’t just about survival—it’s about mission, healing, and legacy. From Marine Corps service to surviving a near-fatal motorcycle accident and living on the streets, TShane clawed his way back to life. Today, he’s a motivational speaker, entrepreneur, father, and world record holder—but most importantly, a man committed to turning pain into purpose. In this raw and powerful episode, Damo and TShane explore trauma, leadership, family, and what it truly means to rebuild. From creating a safe haven through his veteran-owned coffee shop to building an unprecedented coffee farm with his daughter, TShane shares what it looks like to lead with scars, not in spite of them.   To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected]   Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast   Follow TShane on Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tshanejohnson Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tshanejohnson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tshanejohnson TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tshanejohnson Website: www.tshaneinspires.com   Big Guns Coffee – Official Links Website: https://www.biggunscoffee.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/biggunscoffee Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/biggunscoffee     Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0

Disclaimer: This episode contains open discussions about personal trauma, including childhood sexual assault. Listener discretion is advised. We believe these conversations are vital to healing, leadership, and community care. Please prioritize your well-being and listen at your own pace.   If you or someone you know needs help, confidential assistance is available: Your Local SAPR Office: Every military installation has a Sexual Assault Response Coordinator (SARC) and SAPR Victim Advocates (VAs) available 24/7. Contact your base or installation operator or visit your command SAPR page for immediate assistance. DoD Safe Helpline: www.safehelpline.org | 877-995-5247 Military OneSource: www.militaryonesource.mil | 800-342-9647 Veterans Crisis Line: www.veteranscrisisline.net | Dial 988 then Press 1 National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): www.rainn.org | 800-656-4673 Military Sexual Trauma (MST) Resources via VA: www.mentalhealth.va.gov/msthome.asp   About the Episode: Retired NCC Latonya “Tonya” Perossier joins Damo and Tish on this episode of ‘Permission To Speak Freely.’ Damo opens the episode by speaking about his fight to stay private and urging supporters to give him grace, depending on the setting they see him in. Tanya talks about her last job doing community outreach for the Navy Recruiting Command. The trio breaks from Navy talk to discuss the recent news of Shannon Sharpe getting “lined” and putting his future in jeopardy due to risky decision-making. The “decision-making” conversation turns into a conversation about getting married for BAH. During the podcast, Damo receives Tanya’s award-winning book, “Letter to the Eight-Year-Old Me,” and asks her about some of the stories that she shared in it. She details her upbringing, aspirations, and humble beginnings before sharing stories of physically, mentally, and emotionally struggling with the reality of being a victim of sexual assault and molestation at a young age. She talks about opening up to the concept of love and what “making love” really means. Tonya discusses maturing and learning to love herself and embrace her flaws. She gets into why she joined the Navy and her experiences with racism in the early 90s when she joined. Tonya addresses the loss of the MSISR scholarship, and Damo signifies the importance of connecting with people who had the same upbringing and experiences as you. Tanya discusses the potential for a second book and an audiobook version of her book. She discusses the power of counseling, therapy, and trauma. Tisha talks about her therapy journey.   To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected]   Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast   Follow Latonya on Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/queenmetobe?igsh=MThpcGppcjR3bTZoYg== TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@latonyaperossier?_t=ZP-8vrb652nZlv&_r=1     Book of the Week: Letter to the 8 Year Old Me (Mrs. Latonya Yvette Perossier) https://www.amazon.com/Letter-8-Year-Old-Me/dp/B0B5KNWX2B     Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0

In this episode, Damo chops it up with retired ICCS and founder of Mandatory Fun Coins, Chris King, a real-deal conversation about Navy leadership, legacy, and the deeper meaning behind challenge coins. What starts with laughs about deployment rituals and command ball caps quickly becomes a powerful discussion on what it means to be a Chief in today’s Navy. Chris opens up about how a Sailor’s INSURV performance inspired his first coin, and how the Chief season should be more about self-awareness than self-promotion.   To have your “Do Better” reviewed on a future episode, please get in touch with us at [email protected]   Keep up with the ‘Permission to Speak Freely’ podcast on our social media and YouTube - https://linktr.ee/Ptsfpodcast   Keep up with 'Mandatory Fun Coins': https://www.mandatoryfuncoins.org/shop     Additional Credits: PTSF “Theme Music” - Produced by Lim0   Subscribe, leave a review, and share the podcast!