58. Finding Joy When the World Feels Like a Dumpster Fire

Stop Hiring Unicorns! Why Your Dance Studio Job Description Is Setting You Up to Fail Does anyone know someone? If that's your current hiring strategy, we need to have a little chat. 😂 Hiring for your dance studio can feel like a full-time job in itself. You need someone who loves people, can handle chaos, answers emails, manages the front desk, organises events, understands technology, solves problems, keeps everyone happy and somehow knows exactly what you need before you've even asked. Oh, and you'd ideally like them to do all of that for a very reasonable hourly rate. Sound familiar? In this episode, we're getting into the foundations of hiring, starting BEFORE you even post the job. Because sometimes the problem isn't that you can't find good people. It's that you're asking one person to do three different jobs, haven't clearly explained what the role involves, and are hoping a magical unicorn will appear. We're sharing real experiences, mistakes we've made, and practical ways to create a job description that attracts the right people and helps the wrong people recognise that the role isn't for them. In this episode, we chat about: Why a group text asking if anyone knows someone isn't a hiring strategy. How to define the actual job before writing the job advertisement. The difference between what you WANT someone to do and what you NEED them to do. Why hiring someone to take everything off your plate isn't always realistic. How to match your expectations to the salary you're offering. Why clear schedules, responsibilities and compensation matter. How to make your job description attract the right personality, not just a list of qualifications. Where to find potential candidates and why you should use at least three different sourcing channels. Why referrals are great, but everyone still needs to go through the same hiring process. How to use screening questions and practical tasks to learn more about applicants. Why a 30, 60 and 90-day roadmap makes expectations clearer for everyone. How to hire someone whose strengths complement yours rather than simply hiring another version of yourself. A little homework for this week: Before you post another job, grab a blank page and: Write down the five core tasks you actually need this person to do. Separate the qualifications required on day one from the things you can teach. Identify three places where you'll advertise the position. Decide on one clear application process. Ask someone outside your industry to read your job description and explain the job back to you. If they can't tell you what the job actually involves, it's time for a rewrite! Come and chat with us! Have a job description you're not quite sure about? Remove the names and identifying details and share it in the No Bras Required Facebook group. We'd love to give you some feedback and help translate those mysterious job-posting phrases. And save this episode for your next hiring round. Your future self will thank you. Next week: Interviews! How to get past a lovely conversation and find out how someone actually works. Because sometimes you finish an interview knowing everything about their personal life but absolutely nothing about whether they can do the job. 😂

Are we giving our kids enough room to actually be kids? Last week, we started talking about the pressure we put on our kids, sometimes intentionally and sometimes without even realising we're doing it. This week, we're picking that conversation back up and asking a pretty uncomfortable question: Are we accidentally turning childhood into one long performance review? Between school, dance, sports, music, tutoring, competitions, homework, leadership, practice, volunteering and trying to keep up with everyone else, some kids are basically holding down a full-time job before they've even finished school. And then we wonder why they're exhausted. In this episode, we talk about the difference between healthy commitment and overwhelm, why unstructured time matters, how to recognise burnout, and why excellence doesn't have to mean perfection. We also get into the tricky bit for parents and coaches: knowing when to encourage a child to push through something hard, and when their behaviour is telling you that something genuinely needs to change. Because yes, kids need to learn perseverance. But perseverance shouldn't mean ignoring persistent exhaustion, anxiety, pain, bullying or an unhealthy environment. And maybe most importantly, we talk about what we hope our kids actually remember about childhood. Spoiler alert: it probably won't be every medal. In this episode, we chat about: Why some kids are basically working a full-time job after school The difference between being committed and being chronically overwhelmed Why kids need unstructured time, boredom and space to just play What COVID taught us about the importance of social development and connection Why high-achieving kids can be especially vulnerable to burnout The difference between being tired of something and simply being tired How parents can recognise when an activity has stopped being healthy or enjoyable Why excellence and perfection are two very different things Making room for kids who love an activity without wanting to compete at the highest level Five simple ways to reclaim a little more childhood without reorganising your entire family life The five shifts we challenge you to try: 1. Change the first question you ask. Instead of automatically asking, "Did you win?" or "How did you do?", try: "What was the best part?" "What surprised you?" "What challenged you?" "What would you like to tell me?" 2. Protect some unscheduled time. Look at the family calendar and ask whether there's actually room for boredom, spontaneous play, friends, quiet time or absolutely nothing. 3. Celebrate qualities beyond performance. Notice kindness, courage, curiosity, honesty, humour, persistence and how your child treats other people. 4. Review commitments, not just calendars. Ask your child what's feeling good, what's feeling hard, and what they'd like more or less of. Their answers don't have to dictate every family decision, but they should be part of the conversation. 5. Spend time together without an agenda. Cook together. Walk together. Watch a movie. Play a game. Clean the house with music blasting. And most importantly, don't turn every moment into a lesson, assessment or conversation about their progress. Sometimes connection is enough. THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE Create one pocket of time with your child where nothing needs to be achieved. Let them choose what you do. And just enjoy being together. No performance review required. Because childhood isn't just preparation for adulthood. It's a life they're living right now.

When did childhood become a résumé? Somewhere between the packed schedules, dance competitions, travel teams, grades, auditions, rankings, AP classes, college applications and approximately 8,000 extracurricular activities, we have to ask ourselves a pretty uncomfortable question: Are our kids actually getting to be kids anymore? This week, Patti and Meghan get well and truly onto their soapboxes as they unpack the pressure kids are facing to constantly achieve, improve, perform and prove themselves. And because these two are incapable of having one simple conversation without wandering into approximately seventeen other topics, they also talk about education, parenting, boys, dance competitions, behaviour, boredom, unstructured play, teachers, screen time, executive functioning and the parents who are trying to live their unfinished business through their children. Basically, it's a lot. But underneath all the laughs and strong opinions is a really important question: Can we raise ambitious, motivated, coachable kids without making them feel like they're being evaluated every minute of every day? Patti and Meghan talk about what happens when achievement becomes part of a child's identity, why the way we respond to competition results matters, why kids need opportunities to experience disappointment, and why a little boredom might actually be good for them. They also get into something particularly close to their hearts as studio owners: what happens when we take something a child once loved and turn it into another opportunity to perform. Because your five-year-old probably doesn't need a personal brand and a scholarship strategy just yet. In this episode, they talk about: When fun became a résumé. Remember doing something simply because you loved it, without needing to become exceptional at it? The pressure to overachieve. AP classes, extracurriculars, sport, dance, jobs, friends, relationships and somehow still finding time to sleep. Why achievement shouldn't equal worth. A first-place trophy, an A or making the varsity team doesn't make a child more lovable, valuable or worthy. How parents respond to competition results. Kids notice the difference between a polite clap and the full Grand Poobah celebration. Why children aren't our unfinished business. Their talents, dreams and interests belong to them, not to the version of ourselves we wish we'd been. The importance of fundamentals. Progress isn't always about moving forward. Sometimes you need to go back and strengthen the foundation. Why unstructured play matters. Kids learn negotiation, flexibility, problem solving, imagination and emotional regulation by figuring things out themselves. Why boredom isn't necessarily the enemy. Sometimes the best thing we can do when a child says "I'm bored" is... nothing. Letting kids experience manageable failure. We can't constantly pull them up the hill. Sometimes real-life consequences teach what lectures can't. The difference between supporting and rescuing. We don't have to remove every moment of discomfort from our children's lives. One thing we'd love you to think about this week Ask yourself: Where in my child's life am I celebrating the learning, effort and growth, rather than just the outcome? And maybe, just maybe, leave a little space in the calendar for absolutely nothing. No lesson. No competition. No achievement. No résumé building. Just being a kid. And yes, there is absolutely more to say about this. Part two might be coming.

Is It Just Us, or Has the Entire World Lost Its Damn Mind? Have you ever opened your phone first thing in the morning and somehow managed to absorb a political argument, a global crisis, somebody else's drama, a parenting warning, a celebrity scandal and a sourdough recipe before you've even brushed your teeth? Yep. Us too. And honestly, we're tired. In this episode of No Bras Required, Patti and Meghan are talking about what happens when the sheer amount of information, outrage, opinions and bad news coming at us starts to feel like too much. Because we're still supposed to run our businesses, raise decent humans, remember everyone's birthdays, drink enough water, get our steps in and somehow answer the eternal question... "What's for dinner?" So how do we stay informed without becoming emotionally consumed? How do we care about what's happening in the world without carrying all of it around with us? And how do we give ourselves permission to laugh, have fun and actually enjoy our lives when other people are struggling? This one gets real. We talk about: Why we're consuming more information than our brains were ever designed to process. How algorithms can keep feeding us more and more of whatever grabs our attention. The difference between caring about something and being emotionally consumed by it. Why we don't have to turn every disagreement into a cage match. How social media has changed the way we disagree, debate and treat complete strangers. The importance of teaching our kids respectful disagreement while actually modelling it ourselves. Why "you never know what someone is going through" doesn't mean poor behaviour gets a free pass. The "pit of doom" and why a good friend throws you a ladder instead of climbing in with you. Why we need to stop postponing joy until the world is magically okay. How small moments of fun, laughter and connection can be incredibly important when life feels heavy. Five simple ways to bring a little more perspective, connection and joy into your week. And yes, there are also arguments about marshmallows, hot dogs, phones at dinner, empty milk cartons, printer ink and the never-ending question of what's for dinner. Because apparently that's how we process the state of the world. This week's gentle challenge Pay attention to the good. Look for the people doing the right thing. Be one of those people. And for the love of everything holy, find something to laugh about. Preferably with someone who makes you laugh so hard you nearly pee your pants. Because the world might be a dumpster fire, but you don't have to throw all of your joy into it. Take off the bra. Put on the stretchy pants. Call your best friend. We'll see you there.

What does it actually mean for a kid to be coachable? Because, spoiler alert, it doesn't necessarily mean they're quiet, obedient, or willing to do exactly what they're told. In this episode, we're joined by the brilliant Lauren Ritchie, a mindset and mental skills educator, speaker, choreographer and teacher, for a big, honest conversation about raising kids who can take feedback, work through frustration, own their mistakes and keep going when things get hard. And honestly, this conversation went ALL over the place in the best possible way. We talked about dance, parenting, education, studio culture, social media, boundaries, goal setting, difficult conversations, and why sometimes the best thing we can do for our kids is… not fix the problem for them. Lauren challenges the old-school idea that being coachable means compliance or submission. Instead, she describes a genuinely coachable dancer as someone who is open, curious, willing to reflect, adapt and take ownership. And then there's the flower analogy. Every correction is a flower. You can ignore it. You can take it and shove it in your dance bag. Or you can actually put it in water, give it sunlight and take care of it. We LOVE this one. A few things we unpack: 🌸 Coachable doesn't mean compliant. Being coachable isn't about becoming a robot who blindly follows instructions. It's about being open enough to ask questions, understand the why and actually use the feedback. 🌸 Connect before you correct. Kids are much more able to learn, grow and receive feedback when they feel safe, seen and connected to the adult in the room. 🌸 Your teacher doesn't have to be your best friend. There can be warmth, kindness and respect while still maintaining professional boundaries. In fact, those boundaries can make the coaching relationship stronger. 🌸 Feedback isn't a judgement of your worth. A correction is about something you can work on. It isn't evidence that you're bad at dancing, that you don't belong or that your teacher doesn't like you. 🌸 Stop rescuing kids from every uncomfortable feeling. Frustration, disappointment and struggle aren't automatically problems to solve. Sometimes they're part of the learning process. 🌸 Goals aren't magic wishes. Wanting a skill is only the beginning. Real goal setting involves monitoring, consistency, benchmarks, obstacles, adjustments and doing the boring broccoli work in between. 🌸 Parents can support without becoming the coach. Instead of immediately jumping in to fix the problem, try asking, "What are your options?" or "What could you ask your teacher to understand this better?" 🌸 Culture doesn't happen by accident. If we want coachable kids, resilient dancers and healthy studio communities, the adults have to model those things too. And perhaps one of our favourite reminders from the episode: "I care about who they are, not what they do." Because yes, we'd love the turns, the flexibility, the tricks and the beautiful routines. But we're raising humans first. And for the parents… If your child comes home frustrated about feedback, your first job doesn't have to be fixing it. You can listen. You can validate that it felt hard. You can give them a hug. And then, when they're ready, you can get curious together about what comes next. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can say is: "I'm on your team. Let's figure this out." And Lauren's other very important life advice? Do not trust an emotion after 9 p.m. Honestly, put that one on a T-shirt. 😂

From First Crushes to Consent: The Conversations Our Kids Need From Us It started with a pretty innocent conversation about first boyfriends, school dances and the very different ways kids navigate crushes these days. And then, as these conversations tend to do, it got a whole lot deeper. Because underneath the giggles about junior high crushes and kids walking around in circles at school dances is a much bigger question: What are we actually teaching our kids about relationships, respect, sex, consent and the value of women? In this episode, Patty and Megan head into some uncomfortable territory, but it's territory we think is too important to avoid. They talk about the conversations many families don't have until something has already gone wrong, the influence of music, movies, celebrities and public figures, the culture of bystanding, women's healthcare and safety, and why boys and men have an important role to play in changing the conversation. It's a heavier episode, but it's also a really important one. Because our kids are learning all the time. The question is, who are they learning from? In this episode, we talk about: 💕 First crushes, first boyfriends and the surprisingly hilarious world of junior high dating. 💃 How school dances have changed, and why Patty has some very strong opinions about slow dancing. 🗣️ Why conversations about sex, relationships, consent and feelings shouldn't only happen after something goes wrong. 📱 How social media can quickly turn harmless crushes into something much more inappropriate. 👀 The power of modelling, and what kids absorb from music, movies, celebrities, politicians and the adults around them. 🚨 Why bystander culture matters, and why staying silent when something isn't right can have serious consequences. 👩‍⚕️ Women's healthcare, reproductive rights and the difficult position doctors can find themselves in when legislation conflicts with medical care. 🔑 The exhausting reality of the safety precautions women are taught from a young age. 🙋‍♂️ Why boys and men need to be part of the solution, including learning about enthusiastic consent and calling out inappropriate behaviour. ❤️ The difference between genuine faith, love and compassion, and using religion or culture as a tool to control or divide people. One thing we'd love you to take away Our kids don't just learn from the conversations we deliberately sit down and have with them. They learn from what they see. They learn from what we laugh at. They learn from what we ignore. They learn from how we talk about women, relationships, bodies, consent and power. So maybe the conversation doesn't need to wait until there's a problem. Maybe it starts now. Grab your coffee, your comfy pants, or whatever gets you through the day, and come have the conversation with us. And as always, we welcome respectful discussion. These are big topics, and none of us has every answer. Listen to the episode now and tell us what you think.

You know that moment when your kid gets in the car and announces, "My coach hates me"? And suddenly your inner mama bear is grabbing her broom, putting on her shoes, and preparing to send a 1700-word email. Yep. We've been there. This week, we're talking about one of the most important skills we can help our kids develop, coachability. Not obedience. Not blindly doing whatever an adult says. And definitely not raising kids who never question anything. We're talking about helping kids learn how to hear feedback without immediately thinking, "I'm terrible," ask questions when they don't understand, handle disappointment, advocate for themselves, and then actually do something with the feedback they've been given. Because eventually, our kids are going to have coaches, teachers, bosses, directors, professors, colleagues and all sorts of people telling them, "Hey, you could do this better." Our job isn't to make sure they never hear it. Our job is to help them know what to do when they hear it. In this episode, we chat about: What being genuinely coachable actually looks like Why correction can so easily become "I'm bad" in a child's mind The difference between feedback about performance and feedback about worth Why perfectionist and high-achieving kids can struggle when things suddenly get hard How the words we use as parents and coaches can accidentally create unhelpful associations Why "good girl" might not always land the way we intend The difference between being uncomfortable because you're growing and being uncomfortable because something isn't right Why kids need to learn that knowing more than them isn't an insult, it means they're in the right room How to teach kids to advocate for themselves respectfully Why correction is not rejection How parents can support their kids without immediately jumping in to rescue them What to do when your child says, "My coach hates me" Why we should get curious before we get angry The importance of allowing kids to experience disappointment, frustration and failure Why we love the phrase, "Do you want to be heard, helped or hugged?" How to praise effort, resilience and behaviour instead of simply labelling kids as "talented" or "good" Why sometimes the best response to feedback is simply, "Thank you" And, importantly, how to teach kids the difference between being challenged and being genuinely unsafe or mistreated And yes, there may also be a few stories about Oscar winners, historians, attorneys, negotiators, lactose-intolerant children and parents ready to launch a full-scale investigation into casting decisions. Because apparently, correcting a child's pointed toe can become a family emergency. One thing we really want you to remember: Your child doesn't need to leave every room feeling like the best one in it. They need to learn how to leave a room knowing how to get better. Because eventually, we won't be standing next to them fixing everything. And that's really the goal.

We made it to a whole year! What started as two studio-owning mums sitting down to talk about life, business, kids, leadership, menopause, marriage, boundaries, bras, and basically everything in between has somehow turned into 52 episodes. So obviously, we needed three episodes to celebrate our anniversary. In this one, we're looking back at the lessons, laughs, questionable decisions, and big conversations that have shaped our first year of No Bras Required. We're talking about the leadership lessons we wish we'd known 10 years ago, why being a leader is really about serving the people around you, and why sometimes the best thing you can do is stop rescuing everyone and let them be uncomfortable. We also get into procrastination, communication, boundaries, changing your mind, being successful and exhausted at the same time, motherhood, marriage, menopause, and the very important life advice of sometimes just taking off your bra, having a snack, and going to bed. Because apparently that is a business strategy now. In this episode: Why leadership isn't about being "the boss", it's about serving the people you're trusted to lead. The difference between managing people and actually developing leaders. Why you need to stop rescuing your team and let people learn from their mistakes. How procrastination can be a pretty good clue that you're avoiding something uncomfortable. Why boundaries aren't mean, and why "clear is kind." The power of picking up the phone instead of sending 47 increasingly awkward emails. Why you are allowed to change your mind about your business, your goals, your life, or what success looks like. The reminder that you can be successful and exhausted at the same time, but you don't have to stay exhausted forever. Why your kids don't need perfect mums, they need present mums. And, of course, why sometimes the answer really is to take off your bra, grab a snack, and go to bed. Most importantly, we talk about what this first year has really meant to us. When we started, we wanted this podcast to feel like two girlfriends sitting on the couch, hashing out life together. A year later, that's still exactly what we want it to be. Because we've talked about everything from diapers to death, and somehow we keep coming back to the same message: You're not the only one. We're all figuring it out. We're all changing. We're all getting things wrong. And we're all allowed to laugh at ourselves along the way. Thanks for being part of year one. Now let's see what year two brings. And remember, sometimes you don't need another strategy. You just need to take off your bra, have a snack, and go to bed.

We thought we were going to finish our anniversary recap in one episode. Spoiler alert: we did not. Because apparently Patti and Meghan have 17 talking points, approximately zero ability to stay on topic, and far too much to say about heating pads, leadership, parenting, vacuums and getting older. So welcome to Part Two of our anniversary episode. This week, we're looking back at some of the conversations that made us laugh, cry, think, panic before hitting publish, and occasionally wonder whether we'd accidentally cancelled our own podcast. We also get into one particular Reel that went a LOT further than we ever expected. What started as a little leadership gold nugget about asking your team, "Why are you asking me this?", turned into a much bigger conversation about leadership, assumptions, internet opinions, and the fact that apparently people can decide your entire personality based on 60 seconds of video. And honestly? There was a lot to learn from that. Then we disappear down the parenting rabbit hole, because obviously we do. We talk about what we thought motherhood would be versus what it actually became, the parts of parenting our brains have conveniently deleted, watching our kids leave home, and the strange new world of empty nests, quieter houses and eating Kit Kats for dinner because, well, we're adults and we can do whatever we want. We also have a very important conversation about getting older and becoming the people we used to make fun of. Comfortable shoes? Suddenly fascinating. Sleep? Extremely important. Parking? Weirdly important. Thermostats? A serious matter. Vacuums? Don't even get us started. And finally, we confess a few things from the CEO chair, including what we wish we'd known about leadership ten years ago, the mistakes we've both made, and the lesson that sometimes you can believe deeply in someone's potential while still recognizing that they aren't the right person for the role. This episode covers: The podcast episodes that made us laugh, cry and think Why the "Permission to Pivot" and "Gift of Ordinary Days" conversations still stick with us The viral leadership clip that got people talking Why asking "Why are you asking me this?" can actually be a leadership question, not a judgment What motherhood looked like in our heads versus what it actually became The strange emotional shift when your kids start leaving home Why May-cember needs to be a thing, and why September deserves its own ridiculous name The things we suddenly care about now that we're older, including soft pants, comfortable shoes and cooling car seats What we wish we'd known about leadership ten years ago Learning to trust your gut, especially when something isn't working Why we've learned to put safeguards around our belief in people The hiring lessons we learned the hard way And yes... We're doing a Part Three. Because apparently we still haven't made it through the list. If you've been listening for a while, we'd love to know which episode has been your favourite so far. And if you're newer around here, this is your sign to go back and have a little podcast binge. We've got plenty of conversations waiting for you. Find us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and YouTube, and come hang out with us for the next episode. Coffee or tequila. You know the drill.

🎉 ONE YEAR. FIFTY EPISODES. ZERO BRAS REQUIRED. Well, friends... somehow we made it. One whole year of No Bras Required. Fifty episodes of business chats, parenting chaos, marriage complaints, menopause moments, leadership lessons, Costco love, questionable segues and enough unsolicited advice to keep us talking for approximately another 47 years. Honestly, when we hit record on episode one, we had absolutely no idea what this little podcast would become. We just knew two things: Patti and Meghan had a lot to say. Someone, somewhere, might need to hear it. And apparently... you did. In this first part of our anniversary celebration, we're looking back at where this whole thing started, what we've gotten right, what we've definitely gotten wrong, the conversations we never expected to have publicly and the moments that made us realise, "Oh wow, people are actually listening to us." We revisit everything from the origin story of No Bras Required, to parenting teenagers, rescuing our kids too much, annoying husbands who breathe incorrectly, menopause rage, the invisible workload of women and the shocking realisation that comfortable shoes are now a personality trait. We also talk about why this podcast has never fit neatly into one category. Because neither do we. We're business owners. We're mums. We're wives. We're friends. We're educators. We're navigating grief, aging parents, launching kids into adulthood, changing bodies, changing businesses and all the messy bits of real life in between. And honestly? That's kind of the whole point. This podcast was never supposed to be polished perfection. It's supposed to feel like sitting down with two girlfriends in soft pants, coffee or tequila nearby, laughing about life and occasionally saying the thing everyone else is thinking but doesn't want to say out loud. So grab your drink of choice and come celebrate with us. Because this is only Part One... and trust us, we still have plenty to talk about. IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT: 🎉 Celebrating one year and 50 episodes of No Bras Required 👯‍♀️ How the podcast name came to be and why it instantly felt like us 🎙️ What we thought this podcast would become... and why we intentionally didn't put it in a box 💬 The messages from listeners that remind us why these conversations matter 😂 What we've gotten right, including never being able to stay on one topic ⏰ What we've gotten wrong, mainly our complete inability to set a timer 🧠 The invisible workload women carry and why we need more grace for each other 💍 Marriage, annoying husbands, dishwasher arguments and seasons of romance 🛟 Why rescuing everyone isn't actually helping them 👩‍👧 Parenting teenagers and letting our kids learn how to adult 👵 The many things we're officially too old for, including uncomfortable jeans and standing at concerts ❤️ The deeper conversations we never expected to have about grief, death, parenting, mental health, money and identity 🎧 Why No Bras Required will probably never fit into one neat little category... and why we're perfectly okay with that And don't worry, friends. We're not done reflecting yet. Part Two is coming next week, and we're diving even further into the viral moments, parenting, May-December and all the ways we've become the people we used to make fun of. So stay tuned. And as always... Bras are optional. Soft pants are strongly encouraged.