Ep 226: What is success, anyway?

In this episode, I look at the downsides of striving for future success, when we're not completely sure what that actually looks like. In coaching sessions, I often hear clients worry that they're not successful, not successful enough or concerned about missing a future success target. All when they can't clearly explain to me or themselves what success looks like.  This means we can often put in the hard work and make the sacrifices in pursuit of something that we mightn't even value or care about. It's a useful reminder of the relevance of our personal values when it comes to evaluating our success, and of moving away from simple binary self-evaluations. Instead, we can focus on the journey and the progress we're making towards a truly valued outcome.  Do get in touch with your comments and questions. It's always great to hear from listeners! Email me at 'podcast at WorkLifePsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark. Resources for this episode Ep 224: Values - it's what you do that matters - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/224/ Ep 225: Values as tools for life - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/225/ 

One of the best ways to understand something as conceptual as values is to use metaphors and imagery. In this episode, I explore the topic of values by seeing them as tools - tools for life. Whether it's navigating organisational change, cultivating new healthy habits, or managing a difficult relationship, values can be an extremely helpful way to clarify our intentions and guide our behaviour. But like all tools, we need to practice using them, avoid over-relying on one tool, and reflect on how our use of them is making a difference. Thinking of our values as tools helps us avoid relying on automatic responses to difficult situations and makes us more mindful about our responses. But only if we've practiced using them and learnt to be skilful. As I pointed out in the last episode, it's what we do with our values that matters - no matter how clear we are on them. Let me know if you have questions or comments about the topic - especially if you have your own handy metaphors for your values and how to bring them to life. You can email me at 'podcast at WorkLifePsych dot com' or just get in touch via WorkLifeSpark. As always, thanks for listening!  Resources for this episode Ep 224: Values - it's what you do that matters - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/224/ Learn more about psychological flexibility here Sign up for WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community: https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up

Our monthly focus over on WorkLifeSpark is values and how to bring them to life. So, in this episode, I take a look at the importance of living values, not just talking about them.  I use my recent extended holiday as a simple illustration of how to bring values to life in simple ways, but also explore how this can be done in the workplace. Values-in-action isn't always fun, though - so I take some time to explain why some of the meaningful things we do are important for their outcome, not for how they make us feel in the moment.  As ever, please get in touch with your questions or feedback. And join WorkLifeSpark to contine the conversation on our online community.  Thanks for listening!  Resources for this episode Values: it's about action - https://www.worklifepsych.com/values-its-about-action/ How do values and goals differ? https://www.worklifepsych.com/how-do-values-and-goals-differ/ How to use values and goals together - https://www.worklifepsych.com/how-to-use-values-and-goals-together/  Wellbeing: it starts with values - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/ep-181-wellbeing-it-starts-with-values/ 

This episode continues our recent run on sleep, intentional rest and breaks, this time viewed through the lens of sustainability. When working with coaching clients, I often ask them something along the lines of: Can you keep working the way you are right now without it costing you? That is the central question when it comes to working pace, intensity and sustainability. And it's sustainability, not just short-term output, that's the right lens for thinking about taking breaks.  The bottom line is that if you're waiting for physical symptoms, a drop in performance, or feedback from others about how you look, it means you have already left it too late! Instead, reframe rest and breaks as a form of self-care - things you do proactively, to improve your wellbeing, before you absoutely need them.  Do get in touch with your questions, comments and ideas. Email me 'podcast at worklifePsych.com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark, our online personal developmet community. Membership is free! As ever, thanks for listening! Resources for this episode Ep 221: Sleep and rest - they're not optional! https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/221  Ep 222: Rest is more than sleep - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/222  What is self-care and why does it matter? https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-care-what-is-it-and-why-does-it-matter/ 

In this episode, I continue the focus on sleep, rest and breaks, moving beyond sleep itself to explore the many other forms rest can take. I explain why treating rest as something to be earned gets in the way of sustainable working. And actively hampers our performance and wellbeing. Why sleep is a biological imperative, but rest is a separate need requiring a conscious decision. How rest can take many forms - not just lying down! The episode closes with a practical three-step exercise for building more rest into your week: list what counts as rest for you, get clear on your why, and start with one small change. I also include a message for all the high achievers out there: there are no prizes for pushing through without rest.  Do get in touch with your questions, comments and tips! Email at 'podcast worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community.  Thanks for listening! Resources for this episode The Art of Rest, Claudia Hammond - https://claudiahammond.com/the-art-of-rest/ Article about Niksen from The Guardian - https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/feb/07/the-art-of-doing-nothing-have-the-dutch-found-the-answer-to-burnout-culture Ep 221: Sleep and rest - they're not optional! https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/221 

In this episode, Richard is joined again by Dr Fiona Jane Meechin to tackle a topic that underpins everything else in workplace wellbeing: sleep. They make the case that sleep isn't just one wellbeing habit among many. Rather, it's the foundation that determines whether everything else we do for our health and performance actually pays off. The conversation covers why consistently short sleep is linked to serious physical and mental health risks (including a measurable rise in early mortality), and why sleep has something of an "image problem" — its benefits are invisible, unlike a healthy lunch or a gym session, which makes it easy to deprioritise. Richard and Fiona also explore the connection between self-compassion and rest, discussing how a reluctance to rest often reflects a belief that rest has to be earned rather than treated as a basic requirement. They close with a practical, low-effort toolkit for better sleep - covering daylight exposure, caffeine and alcohol timing, evening wind-down routines, bedroom environment, and the case for treating naps and rest as a strategic tool rather than a guilty indulgence. Please get in touch with your questions about sleep, wellbeing and performance. Email via 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark, our personal development community.  Thanks for listening - and thanks to Fiona for her expertise.  Resources for this episode Ep 218: Self-compassion with Dr. Fiona Jane Meechan: https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/218  Get in touch with Fiona on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fionajanemeechan/ Find out about our approach to wellbeing: https://www.worklifepsych.com/wellbeing  Check out Matt Walker's book 'Why we sleep': https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/295665/why-we-sleep-by-walker-matthew/9780141983769  Sign up to WorkLifeSpark for free today: https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up 

In this episode, I look at how self-compassion can help us navigate organisational change - one of the most common, and often most difficult, experiences we face at work. I start with a quick recap of what self-compassion actually is (and isn't): mindful awareness of our difficulties, a sense of common humanity, and genuine self-kindness — not softness, not lowered standards, and definitely not "keep calm and carry on." I explore why change tends to feel threatening, even when it's handled well and how some of our typical responses can quietly undermine us during change, and how they can tip into unsustainable coping strategies. Then I turn to how self-compassion helps: acknowledging our distress honestly, connecting with others rather than pulling away, and taking intentional, kind action to support ourselves through the process. I also bring in Martin Seligman's model of pessimism (personal, permanent, pervasive) and make the case for real optimism — not denial, but a mature belief in our own ability to navigate what's ahead. I close by connecting self-compassion to how leaders show up for others during change, including the risks of toxic positivity and unhelpful labelling. You can always get in touch with your questions and comments - it's great to hear from listeners! Email at via 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over at WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community. Thanks for listening! Resources for this episode Ep 218: Self-compassion with Dr. Fiona Jane Meechan Ep 219: Comparison or compassion? Self-compassion: the missing ingredient: https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-compassion-the-missing-ingredient/ Join WorkLifeSpark today!

In this episode, I explore why we compare ourselves to others at work, and what to do when those comparisons leave us feeling worse rather than better. I unpack the evolutionary roots of social comparison, why comparing ourselves to people we don't know well (rather than those close to us) tends to be the most damaging, and how these comparisons can spiral into rumination, pull us out of the present moment, and quietly shape our self-concept over time. Drawing on my coaching work, I share four practical responses: noticing when you're making a comparison, learning to see it as just a passing thought (cognitive defusion), getting curious about where it's really coming from, and staying mindfully aware of how it affects your feelings and behaviour. I also revisit self-compassion as a way of responding to comparison with kindness rather than judgement. I close the episode by distinguishing unhelpful comparisons from useful ones- spotting a role model, and comparing yourself to your own past self as a way of tracking meaningful progress. Let me know if you have any follow-up questions or comments - email me at 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community. Thanks for listening! Resources for this episode Ep 218 - Self-compassion with Dr. Fiona Jane Meechan Self-compassion: the missing ingredient - https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-compassion-the-missing-ingredient/  Sign up for WorkLifeSpark today

In this episode, Richard is joined by an expert in self-compassion for a discussion about this all-important skillset. Richard and Fiona Jane Meechan discuss why self-compassion can be tough to develop, even when we can be compassionate to others. They look at some of the simple ways we can bring self-compassion to life in our everyday routines, exploring it through the lens of the six pillars of wellbeing. This includes social connection, sleep, movement and self-talk. They bust some myths and misunderstandings about self-compassion and explain the contributions it makes to wellbeing and performance at work. Please get in touch with any questions about the topic - either via email (podcast at worklifepsych dot com) or on WorkLifeSpark. As always, thanks for listening! About our guest Fiona helps ethical leaders to improve wellbeing and performance in their businesses. Fiona has a passion for compassion, and knows that the compassion process starts with looking after you! Fiona has always been drawn to making life better for people.  Her first love was criminology and she worked in public services for 16 years, focusing on improving community health, wellbeing and safety. Then through having to deal with badly behaved bosses in work, Fiona realised that what we ultimately need to improve is compassionate and competent leadership at all levels, because when we do that, there is a real ripple effect, and life becomes better for everyone. So for the past 12 years she has taught leadership at Alliance Manchester Business School, and worked on a national level to improve wellbeing and leadership in policing. Fiona also runs her own leadership and team development practice and supports people across the public and private sectors. She knows that compassionate leadership starts with self-compassion, and that's why we're chatting today. Resources for this episode Sign up for WorkLifeSpark today: https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up Sign up for our upcoming masterclass on self-compassion: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1990550352689?aff=oddtdtcreator Frazzled to Focused in 5 mins a day - Calm your mind and improve your leadership:  oaktreepersonaldevelopment.com/calmyourmind Compassion at Work Toolkit and other research on compassionate leadership: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Fiona-Meechan Connect with Fiona on LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/fionajanemeechan/

Last time, we looked at the benefits of doing less to support our self-care. In this episode, I tackle five of the most common misconceptions about self-care - which I've encountered from coaching and training clients over the years.  From the idea that it's just pampering or an occasional treat, to the belief that it's time-consuming, selfish, or something that can be saved for a less busy season of life.  I argue that self-care is best understood as anything done intentionally to improve your situation, and that this broader definition opens up far more practical, everyday possibilities than most people realise. To help inspire you, I also share a simple set of principles to help identify simple, meaningful ways to look after yourself, however busy life gets. Please get in touch with your questions about self-care. You can email me at 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation on WorkLifeSpark.  As always, thanks for listening.  Resources for this episode Ep 126 - Self-care: The power of less https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/216/  Self-care: what is it and why does it matter? https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-care-what-is-it-and-why-does-it-matter/ Self-care: 5 mistakes to avoid https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-care-5-mistakes-to-avoid/  Join WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community: https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up