When You Fall Back

Welcome to the Imperfectly Pollyanna Podcast. I am your host, Courtney. A faith-filled homeschool mom of 2, licensed medical professional, certified health coach, AND eternal optimist. Here at the podcast, we talk about real life, always imperfect but always finding the good. I’m so glad you’re here!Talk about a long break, right? Having not aired a new episode in almost 2 years, I’m sure many assumed I had stepped away permanently. The truth is that I always intended to return to this space but had to focus on different priorities. Like you, many things have happened in between today and my last chat with you. I hope to not only fill you in on some of those things but also share a very exciting adventure happening in our homeschool community. The word “exciting” isn’t even the best description for it.Catching up on:Asking to be a special speakerBecoming a regional representative for our state homeschool organizationHomeschooling my own kidsStill working full-timeExciting news related to:Family legaciesMoses and Joshua doing the big thingsHomeschooling against the current that is societyA new step of faith in building up our homeschool community for years to come. Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected] 

Today I have the honor to speak with holistic health coach, Melissa Rohlfs. She is passionate about helping busy moms identify the way they were made - how God made them -  with their own uniqueness, and then learn how to honor their body, finding what works for them. It is her desire to offer help and hope to the mama who feels overwhelmed, stuck and wants freedom to enjoy life AND motherhood Happy.  Healthy.  Free.  Ready to get unstuck and find freedom so you can be calm, confident and at peace? Here's how you can do that with Melissa :1. Check out Melissaa's free resources here.2. Impact Coaching with Melissa - Get the coaching and clarity you need to get unstuck and see results.  Schedule a coffee chat today. Links for Melissa:www.free2bcoaching.comwww.facebook.com/MelissaRohlfsCoachhttps://www.instagram.com/free2b_coaching/Podcast ~ https://anchor.fm/melissa-rohlfsConnect with Courtney:FacebookInstagramEmail: [email protected]   Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected] 

This week I had an extremely frustrating moment with one of my children while helping with the math lesson. It didn’t make sense why they couldn’t understand the concept of the question. I was even making it to the point where the answer was SO OBVIOUS that I could feel myself becoming angry when it wasn’t quickly figured out. That’s just real life, folks. And as I sat there, with my blood pressure rising and biting my tongue from saying cruel things, I felt anger toward myself for even being angry. Do you know why I’m sharing this? Because at the end of the day, we can all put on a good show for social media or in front of our friends, but when no one is watching…when no one is there to impress…when you are in the harder moments of homeschooling, THAT’S when it is REAL. I share this so that you can understand homeschool moms are not some angelic beings from another world. We are still human beings with experiences that have shaped who we are today and how we respond to difficult situations. When we ask God for something like guidance, wisdom, patience, discernment, HELP…whatever it may be…He’s not going to just plop it into our laps, as nice and easy as that may sound. Instead, He will hear our prayers and answer them, but it may be in a way we didn’t see coming. He sees you as a whole person…not part homeschool mom, part wife, part co-worker, daughter, sister, aunt, friend. He sees YOU and loves YOU, with all your imperfections and dirty cobwebs yet to be cleaned out or broken hinges to fix. And He HAS still called you for this time. When you ask God to help you, it’s not going to always be a simple fix. As we grow in Him, the challenges will come and go, but when we struggle it doesn't mean we are failing. It is much bigger than that, but in an amazing way!IF you can see things as a bigger picture, you may begin to see some connections. Connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, or email at [email protected] Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected] 

Imagine for a moment, if you will, having a child that looks forward to learning. Imagine being able to see what their passions are and build a learning environment around it! It is said that “education is more than checking off boxes or getting a grade on a test.” That would’ve made me a nervous wreck at the beginning of our journey but now? Now it is FREEING! It can be difficult to break out of the thinking that education needs to look a certain way or that there needs to be a specific amount of information sharing within a specific amount of time. But that’s just not true! Sure, children need to learn the basics and be able to function in life. However, education…LEARNING is about so much more. Find Me on Facebook, Instagram, or email to [email protected] Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected] 

Last week, I put up a poll on my Instagram stories to see what people would like to hear more about on the podcast. I had a GREAT response, and it really got my wheels to turning. The options I threw out were homeschool how-to, homeschool encouragement, faith, and current hot topics. The top voted was the homeschool encouragement and if you’ve listened to me for ANY amount of time, or if you know me in real life, you know I am a HUGE fan of cheering others on so you could say that’s my jam. I’m working on a few different episodes coming up and wanted to take some time to talk a bit about homeschool how-to with some encouragement sprinkled in there. So you want to homeschool, now what?HSLDA.orgImperfectly Pollyanna on FacebookImperfectly Pollyanna on InstagramYou can also email me your questions to [email protected] Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected] 

I don’t really know where to begin today. I would say it’s kinda funny but it’s not really. Crazy, maybe? Scary? I don’t know. The irony of when you pray for certain things…like praying for the ability to trust God more…or to be more patient…have more courage…and especially with me lately…to have wisdom. Even this morning I prayed for wisdom even though I wasn’t sure exactly what I needed wisdom for. Like I couldn’t pinpoint one instance, but I just knew, and still know, I long for wisdom. Then, in true form, when you pray for something, God doesn’t just give it to you, does He? You aren’t automatically patient. It never fails, you pray for patience and suddenly your kids are fighting, your house is a mess, work is stressful, dinner isn’t planned or ready, schedules get switched, something falls apart…and so do you. My devotional today had a little takeaway that said: “Strength grows through struggles, Courage develops in challenges, and Wisdom matures from wounds.”Can you be sad and still trust God? Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected] 

I wanted to talk to you about something I find to quickly be gaining traction and it’s becoming a pandemic…in my opinion. Now, I’m NOT talking about covid. A pandemic is usually in reference to a disease that is prevalent over a whole country OR the world. And when we think of diseases, there’s SO many, right? From something as simple as the flu to the vast variants of cancer. But, the pandemic I am speaking on today is not something you can see…actually, that’s not true because I see it…and maybe you do, too. It’s the pandemic that is becoming systemic and circulating throughout our communities. It is an attack on you, me, our children, and our families as a whole. We are talking about:The education systemThe world's standardsHow we become accepting of blatant sinThe Church attacking within itselfAND we are discussing what the REAL Pandemic is: The Loss of Spiritual CommonsenseYou can find me on Facebook, Instagram, or email at [email protected] Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected] 

The last few weeks have been one hot mess between a broken wrist, covid, van issues and returning to work. Phew, what a time to be alive! Today, we are talking about what happens when you fall back? Whether in homeschooling, your health, or spiritual life. What do you fall back on? Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected] 

Here we are at the end of the year! How are you feeling about it? Are you still trying to recover from the last couple of years? Working through holiday remnants? Are you looking forward to a new year with hope or dread? After all, we all celebrated when 2020 ended and then 2021 did the thing of “hold my beer.” If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the past is that everyone deals with it differently. There are those who just live there. There are others who walk away and claim to never look back. I’m not sure how that happens but I think I’m more in between the two. I looked up definitions of "resolution," "revolution," and many more only to find that really, we get a release for radical restoration and change! Doesn’t that get you excited??I want this next year to be a REVOLUTION OF RESOLUTION! A year where we make a conscious decision to release the past to enable us to find FREEDOM in change! What is it that you want this next year to look like? Are you living in a state of just trying to survive day after day, struggling to see through the fog of society and life? What if…what if there was something more? What if you could make a radical change…in your life…with your family…at your job…What if there was a way you could break free from the depression…the stress…the burdens that way you down, physically and mentally, and from there you found what release, peace, and purpose truly means?What if you understood how you are completely and utterly chosen for such a time as THIS? Does it mean an easy path? No, this is real life. Every day life is what tempts us with giving up on hope. The world and culture is what tempts us with thinking all is lost and there is nothing beyond where we are right now.But I am telling you, friend to friend, that is a lie! Change for the better is not always easy, but the TRUTH is that it is SO worth it!For the first time, I am going to be hosting an online interactive BIBLE STUDY beginning Jan 19th. It is called “What does it mean to be chosen” and last 8 weeks. We will be meeting online once a week, having in depth discussions that are around this question. The book is by Amanda and Dallas Jenkins, the creator of the tv series, The Chosen. It is the most beautiful show that I have seen in a really long time and has completely changed my desire, drive, and focus for how I am living life. If you would like to join me, you can send an email to [email protected] or send a private message to me on Facebook or Instagram.All the things you tell yourself…the reasons why life is how it is…the reasons why it won’t work out…the reasons you may think keep you from living a more joyful and fulfilling life…Those reasons don’t measure up to the truth of who you have been called to be. They don’t change the fact that you have been chosen and you can make your own choice to sit back and ride the rollercoaster of life, not knowing what’s coming next and holding your breath for the next foot to drop.OR! You can decide today that enough is enough. You can decide it is time for a radical change…a release…a stretching that propels you into the person you have been called to be.What do you say, are you in for a REVOLUTION OF RESOLUTION? Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected] 

Find me, Imperfectly Pollyanna, over on Facebook, Instagram, or send an email to [email protected] (say hi, share any prayer requests, ask questions, I would love to hear from you!)When I was growing up, our church choir always put on some sort of Christmas play, musical, presentation, what-have-you. There was one we did multiple times and I don’t remember the name of the whole thing but I DO remember a specific song that was in it and it inevitably runs through my mind every single time this time of the year. It says something to the affect of “there’s only 3 days left til Christmas, and while the family’s havin’ fun buying present galore at their favorite store, I’m home wrapping every one.” It talks about she’s cleaning, and shopping, and wrapping, baking, doing everything for everyone, completely stressed out, all while her husband and kids are enjoying the season. By the end, she’s screaming and losing her mind. It was always a hit performance that received belly laughs from everyone.Of course, I was a kid then, so I thought it was funny just because the song lyrics were silly and the lady who sang it was SO great at it. As an adult, especially a parent, I now realize that song speaks to a lot of us this time of year! Sure, there are parents out there who are relaxed, enjoying every moment with their family, follow the rules of 4 with giving gifts – you know, something to read, something to wear, something wanted, and something needed. I love that. I really do. And I applaud those who do it without hesitation. I DO sometimes think those parents are unicorns, but I probably would find them judging me and my messy house, piles of laundry, and dog hair loving the furniture. Then again, that’s me pre-judging them, isn’t it?I’m saying all of this because I could easily give you a typical Christmas-related episode that includes those phrases of remembering the reason for the season…and it’s not about giving your kids everything they want…or it’s not the things but the moments they’ll remember. I COULD say all of those things and I wouldn’t be wrong in doing so because they are all the truth. They all matter. But honestly, I still struggle with not buying my kids all the things! Not because I think they NEED them, but because I genuinely LOVE to gift them things I know they need or want or would really enjoy. They know that when making their wish list it is simply that, a WISH list. We have emphasized it’s fun to look through catalogs, find things that look fun, even think up ideas of items that would be cool to have – not knowing if they actually exist, and then putting it all on their list, all the while knowing they may not get those things. My kids make me so happy just having them in my life. There was a time when I didn’t think I would ever have that ability. The ability to be a mom and raise my children. I enjoy finding little things throughout the year that make me think of them that I think they’d like. Sometimes these are toys but other times it is crafts or something like that that we can do together for fun. When it comes to Christmas, I think about the things that stick out to me that I enjoy. Either now or as a kid. Most of those things are one in the same. Driving around looking at lights, drinking hot cocoa, watching White Christmas and It’s a Wonderful Life, going to our church’s Christmas Eve Candlelight service. Then there’s the tradition of new Christmas pajamas – something I totally failed at this year because my son now has so much muscle that the size was too small for him, haha. Oh well, he still appreciated them. There’s the trimming of the tree while we play Christmas music, putting out the nativity set, hanging the stockings…so much fun. They’re still happily writing letters to Santa – even if just to entertain me. I love seeing their faces light up Christmas morning as they open up each gift with thankfulness. Their excitement over watching their sibling open a gift from them. And yet, it’s always the last few days before Christmas when I begin to second guess myself. “Did I get the right things? Should I have gotten something different? Will they be disappointed? I never baked the cookies. We never watched all the hallmark shows. We haven’t done this or that yet.” All the pressure put on myself FROM myself to make sure it’s all perfect.Do I know that it will be perfect? Yes. Do I know my kids will be grateful and happy no matter what? Yes. Do I know that when it all comes down to it, the important thing is for my children to know WHY we celebrate? 100% yes.But I wanted to be transparent with you. Because I think it is EASY to tell people what they should do yet not always easy to follow those suggestions for ourselves.Speaking of being transparent…I wanted to share something that happened to me a few nights ago with my daughter. We were working on our lesson for Christmas Around the World and one of the projects was for the kids to create their own play. My daughter was supposed to color and cut out nativity characters to use for hers and my son had to make his up on his own. Once she got it all cut out and glued onto straws, she asked what she was supposed to do for the play. I told her it was the nativity and she looked confused. So I rephrased, knowing she doesn’t always understand words that I assume she knows, and said it’s the story of Jesus being born and Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem. She got teary and told me “but I don’t know that story.” Now…let me tell you, there was some heavy internal battling going on in my head in that moment. HOW did she not know the Christmas story?!HOW did I miss the mark after all the deliberate learning choices we had made?!HOW did she not remember the ONE story this all circles around?!Had I failed her?! Was she just never paying attention?? Here we are, less than a week before Christmas and she doesn’t know the story of Christmas????I have a history of fighting with old demons when it comes to feeling not good enough, not smart enough, not a good enough parent, etc etc. The thing about old demons is that you recognize them quicker each time and learn how to overcome them. You learn how to put that armor on and fight back.So, what did I do in that moment? Did I belittle her for not knowing or remembering? – because let me tell you, she has heard the Christmas story from her own beginning. She has heard it in Sunday School, church, at home, in lessons, at her grandparents, in movies. She just has some unique qualities when it comes to focusing and remembering. Something that isn’t just unique in this moment but something we have been struggling and working through all year.So no, I didn’t belittle her or get angry. Instead, I chose to take it as a blessing to have a moment with her. We got up, grabbed a bible and a bible story book, and went into her room together. Her brother ended up following us as well. We sat down together and she followed along as I read the story of Mary and Joseph, the shepherds, the birth of Jesus, and the Wise Men. We laughed at the idea of a mom having to give birth around smelly animals and talked about the lack of comfort the baby must have had when placed in a stone manger. We talked about the swaddling clothes and what those were used for. It was a moment that I COULD have freaked out, got angry with myself and her, and lost the chance of helping her remember the reason we celebrate.Do I always do things right? Absolutely not. But when I get a chance to do the right thing and take it? I’m going to be glad about that!We didn’t bake cookies this year – though my son did while they stayed with grandparents last weekend. Because I work this week, except for Christmas Day, we have 1 day left to do our last lesson, go see lights, watch movies, drink cocoa, grab a few last-minute gifts, and wrap everything. I am sure we will get it all done and enjoy most of it…because we are doing it together. I am praying for grace for the moments when stress tries to creep in.Thinking about the baby that was born so long ago…I’m sure things were NOT peaceful then either. I mean, I’ve had 2 babies and delivering – even when in a hospital – is not all rainbows and unicorns. I even ended up having csections! I imagine Mary, while feeling the joy of knowing who she was carrying, may have had some stress going on as well. Where would they sleep?Would the birth go smoothly?Did she bring enough blankets to keep him warm? Not to mention the smell of animals. Concern of cleanliness.How would she raise the SON of GOD?So many thoughts, worries, concerns…Wanting it all to be perfect, go perfectly, end up being the best day ever.And it WAS one of the best days ever! Even if it wasn’t what she had in her own mind of what it would look like.Every year there are reminders that many are hurting, depressed, missing someone…we hear of loved ones dying…arguments over political things or opinions…reminders of what could have or should have been…But the thing is, it doesn’t stop after Christmas. There will ALWAYS be things we do as parents that will leave us second guessing our decisions or feeling inadequate. We will make so many mistakes along the way and we pray for grace that our kids will survive them. There will also always be opportunities for us to show our kids how to not take things for granted…to offer a helping hand to someone…to learn the lessons of it is better to give than to receive.In the end, I think it’s ok to want to get your kids things that you know will bring them happiness. I think it’s ok to want to do all the traditions and follow through with every idea.I think it’s ok to want to do better for them.With that, remember that you ARE a good parent by simply being there for your kid.You don’t have to do all the things. They will be ok.They are allowed to forget significant things just like you are able to remind them in a loving way.And when it comes down to it, you are in this together. This thing called life. As a family. No one really knows what they’re doing, some are just better at pretending. As you enjoy this Christmas holiday, I pray you find peace…love…and true joy in your heart.  Find me on FacebookFind me on InstagramEmail me: [email protected]