Short Take #5: Betrayal and Forgiveness

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/B7buGaYYF98. Couples in which one or both have a diagnosis of ADHD can encounter some particular challenges. Our guest in this episode, Lisa Rabinowitz, specialized in working with ADHD or otherwise neurodiverse couples. She tells us about how she helps them find their way to more satisfying relationships. Lisa’s website is https://counselorforcouples.com/. The assessment tool that Bruce mentioned is at https://forms.gle/1Pj8MUQDH2cYfbVW7. Please take it for a test run! Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79  

Welcome to Short Take #5. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels. Today’s topic: Betrayal and Forgiveness This short take is about…well, betrayal and forgiveness. What is betrayal? And does forgiveness mean you’ll restore your relationship?   Please subscribe and review us! Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show. Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter. Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!) To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/t_EQM32MZso.  

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/OtUSEC7Fk58. Why are so many Millennials deciding not to have children? How does therapy culture affect how young people view the prospect of becoming parents? Judy and I talk about a New York Times article by Michal Leibowitz that discusses this. She organized her article according to stanzas in Philip Larkin’s poem “This Be The Verse,” which famously concludes, “Get out as early as you can / And don’t have any kids yourself.” Along the way, we also talk about tribalism—both good and bad!—and mention Daryl Davis’s TEDx talk, where he describes why he, a black man, has attended KKK rallies. Michal Leibowitz’s article: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/30/opinion/therapy-estrangement-childless-millennials.html Daryl Davis’s TEXx talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/daryl_davis_why_i_as_a_black_man_attend_kkk_rallies Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review.

Welcome to Short Take #4. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels. Today’s topic: The “Oh Shit” Moment This isn’t about the “Oh shit!” you might say when you’ve hit your thumb with a hammer. This is about—well, you’ll need to hear it to appreciate why I call it the “Oh shit” moment. It’s often a turning point in working with a couple.   Please subscribe and review us! Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show. Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter. Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!) To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/5GLAcFW8V7k.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/FBplUljRg6w. What is Post Betrayal Syndrome? Our guest in this episode is Dr. Debi Silber, who is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute. She describes three discoveries about betrayal from her Ph.D. research, and then talks about five stages along the way from betrayal to transformation. Dr. Silber’s website is https://thepbtinstitute.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

Welcome to Short Take #3. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels. Today’s topic: Stability vs. Intimacy—Can We Have Both? Why are both stability and intimacy necessary for a relationship to thrive? Why do they require different—even conflicting—skills?   Please subscribe and review us! Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show. Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter. Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!) To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/8TNv4NaV5NY.

For the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/ftqRVeBptqs. What is Radical Moderation? And how can that idea help heal the hyper-polarization that characterizes not only politics but family relationships these days? Our guest in this episode, Professor Lauren Hall, tells us about her work and how she came to it. As Judy mentions early in the interview, I (Bruce) have called myself a radical moderate for decades. (“What do we want? Moderation! When do we want it? When it’s appropriate!”) Lauren’s website is https://www.laurenkhall.com/. Her Substack is “The Radical Moderate’s Guide to Life.” Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79

See the video of this episode here. Our guest in this episode, Dr. Bonnie Comfort, was married for 33 years to a man she deeply loved and who deeply loved her. And they remained married until his death from cancer. A beautiful story with a sad ending—but, as is always true, not the whole story. Bonnie tells us about the struggles she and her husband went through, particularly around issues of sexual compatibility. Those struggles taught her a lot about herself: the pressures she was subject to, the ways she unintentionally cooperated, and the ways she was able to come into her own power and gain self-respect. In her soon-to-be-published memoir, Bonnie offers some of that hard-won wisdom. Bonnie’s book is Staying Married is the Hardest Part: A Memoir of Passion, Secrets, and Sacrifice. Her website is https://bonniecomfort.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Have you read my latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again? Would you be willing to leave a review? It’s super-easy. Just go to this link, give a rating (5 stars, I hope!), say something about the book, and submit. And thanks!

Welcome to Short Take #2. In this series Judy and I talk about some of our (well, mostly my) favorite topics in bite-size morsels. Today’s topic: Rethinking ADHD Is ADHD a disease, or even a disorder?  Or is it a description of one end of a spectrum? Why does the distinction matter? I talk about a recent New York Times article in which long-time ADHD researchers describe how they are re-examining their assumptions. Then I tell one of my go-to stories about working with a high school kid who was diagnosed with ADHD and hadn’t been told yet—but his teachers had been told. Here’s the article: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/13/magazine/adhd-medication-treatment-research.html Why am I ranting about ADHD in a blog about couples therapy? Well, because the way ADHD hardened into a black-and-white diagnosis, as if it were analagous to diabetes, is a great example of psychosclerosis—hardening of the categories (see Short Take #1). And psychosclerosis is often what’s plaguing couples.   Please subscribe and review us! Visit our podcast website, ctin7.com, for more about our podcast, access to past episodes, and links to contact us to make suggestions and sign up for a time to be a guest on our show. Visit Dr. Chalmer’s website, brucechalmer.com, for information on his practice, to find his books, and to sign up for his Substack newsletter. Visit Laria Zylber’s website, lariazylber.com, for information on her book The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible. (Laria is Judy’s pseudonym, and as you’ll see in the videos on her website, she looks just like Judy, except she has blue hair!) To see the video of this episode, go to https://youtu.be/78kA6eTMtAs.

For the video of this episode, go to https://brucechalmer.com/emily-jamea/. If you’re having trouble with sex in your relationship, you might want to consult a sex therapist, and our guest today, Dr. Emily Jamea, is precisely that. But what if it’s not about problems—what if what you want is to get past “good-enough” sex to levels you’ve only dreamed about? Well, Emily is all about that as well. Her recent book, Anatomy of Desire, describes how “flow,” as popularized by the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, is a key to unlocking passion and desire in a couple. She talks about five secrets and how to apply them. Judy and I had a great time talking with Emily, and we think you’ll love this episode. Emily’s website is https://emilyjamea.com/. Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage. Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com. Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/. And here’s the link to leave a review: https://www.amazon.com/review/create-review?&asin=B0D4B6KL79