#50 Loneliness vs Being Alone

In this episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes looks at the highly sensitive person, or HSP, a temperament trait called sensory processing sensitivity, identified in the mid 1990s by the psychologist Elaine Aron. He explains that it is not a disorder or an illness, and that he cites roughly 15 to 20 percent of people as sharing it. He walks through four core characteristics so you can check for yourself: deep processing, overstimulation, emotional reactivity and empathy, and sensing the subtle. He shares how he came to realise some of the pain he felt belonged to other people. Arnold covers common traits in daily life, how high sensitivity differs from introversion, and the strengths it brings in creativity, intuition, relationships, care work, the arts, teaching and innovation. He talks about how we are taught to suppress our emotions, why unconditioning makes you more aware and more vulnerable, and why it is okay to cry, with a quote from Camus. He stresses managing your environment and looking after sleep, food, movement and rest, and closes with a simple exercise he calls the three beats check-in, a few seconds at each transition in your day to sense your body, name what you feel and signal yourself with a breath or a stretch. The everyday beauty this time is a global study he cites linking regular visits to museums, cinemas or theatre to slower biological ageing in older adults. 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Bio link: https://bio.link/beekes 🧠 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🏆 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 💡 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🚀 Skool Brain Fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network, Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts, a community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #HighlySensitivePerson #HSP #Sensitivity #Empathy #EverydayBeauty #Podcast #ArnoldBeekes #RoyCoughlan

In this question-and-quote episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes asks: how can I use my unique talents and resources to help others and the planet? In other words, how can I contribute? He encourages thinking big, but says you can contribute at any level, whether that is the world, your country, your city, your community, your neighbourhood or your family. The quote is that until you direct your own play, you will be a marionette in someone else’s. Arnold points out that many people are living someone else’s life and meeting the expectations of others, which means playing their game rather than their own. He leaves you with the question: when are you going to play your own game? 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Bio link: https://bio.link/beekes 🧠 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🏆 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 💡 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🚀 Skool Brain Fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network, Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts, a community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #PlayYourGame #UniqueTalents #Contribution #LiveYourOwnLife #Podcast #ArnoldBeekes #RoyCoughlan

In this episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes looks at the inner voices we all live with, and why it matters to tell them apart. He starts with the loudest, the inner critic, which criticises what you said or did, sometimes years ago, in language we would never use on another person. He explains its role around safety, why it cannot tell real threats from imagined ones, and how it often echoes the way our parents spoke to us. He then looks at the mask, a voice that speaks as if it were you and builds a false identity, close to what people call the ego. Arnold reminds listeners that the brain listens to everything you say, that your inner speech is the engine of creation, and that turning the inner critic into an inner cheerleader changes the reality you create. He links the voices to the three brains from an earlier episode, head, heart and gut, then the witness or observer, and the true self. The picture he leaves you with is an orchestra inside yourself, with you as the conductor. The episode closes with everyday beauty: Ayun from Indonesia, who at 12 was set to be married off until a compassionate centre director helped her escape and continue her education, and who is now studying biology on a full scholarship. 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Bio link: https://bio.link/beekes 🧠 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🏆 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 💡 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🚀 Skool Brain Fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network, Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts, a community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #InnerVoices #InnerCritic #InnerCheerleader #ThreeBrains #EverydayBeauty #Podcast #ArnoldBeekes #RoyCoughlan

In this question-and-quote episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes asks: what do you feel in your body right now? He invites you to take a few seconds and scan every part of your body, from your toes to your ears, noticing tension, relaxation, pain or nothing at all, and asks what your body is telling you. The quote reflects how education and upbringing teach us to prevent failure at all costs, which is why failing fast and often, as the startup world requires, is so difficult. Arnold’s message is that failure is part of growth. If you never fail, you are either not growing or not doing something challenging enough. He suggests you don’t judge yourself for it, and instead compliment yourself: at least I tried, at least I’m learning, I’m growing. 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Bio link: https://bio.link/beekes 🧠 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🏆 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 💡 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🚀 Skool Brain Fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network, Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts, a community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #FailureIsPartOfGrowth #Growth #BodyScan #Resilience #Podcast #ArnoldBeekes #RoyCoughlan

In this episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes looks at the difference between loneliness and being alone, especially among young people, though it affects people of any age. He describes a neighbour who lost his wife and keeps the radio on all day without listening, and explains how noise can drown out the inner voice we don’t want to hear. Arnold recommends turning the inner critic into an inner cheerleader, focusing on what goes right, and says that loud music, crowds, shopping or being a spectator can all stop you from hearing what your heart is saying. He explains that solitude is not the same as loneliness, and that because each of us is unique, nobody understands exactly what we think and feel, and that is nothing to be afraid of. He points to Seneca’s advice to be your own best friend and invites you to learn to enjoy your own company. The episode closes with everyday beauty: a man clearing out tool chests in a restaurant he had bought in South Carolina who found $12,000 in cash in a sunglasses case, and went on live local television to find the previous owner. 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Bio link: https://bio.link/beekes 🧠 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🏆 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 💡 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🚀 Skool Brain Fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network, Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts, a community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #Loneliness #Solitude #BeingAlone #InnerCritic #EverydayBeauty #Podcast #ArnoldBeekes #RoyCoughlan

In this question-and-quote episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes asks: what are your strengths? He encourages you to look beyond physical strengths or the ones that show up at work, since your strength might be that you are extremely good at taking care of your children. He points out that strengths tests, like the ones many of us did at school, only capture a moment, because we are dynamic, not static. The strengths you listed at 15 are different from those at 35 or 65, so he invites you to take an honest look at yours today. The quote is a prelude to the next episode, which is about loneliness after the many questions Arnold has received on the subject: it takes time to learn how to be alone without being lonely, but once you do, it is called freedom. 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Bio link: https://bio.link/beekes 🧠 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🏆 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 💡 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🚀 Skool Brain Fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network, Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts, a community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #LearnToBeAlone #Strengths #Loneliness #Freedom #Podcast #ArnoldBeekes #RoyCoughlan

In this episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes looks at energy, frequency and vibration, and why he sees them as one of the most important things about being human. He starts with a simple analogy: pushing a child on a swing, where the push is the energy, the back-and-forth motion is the vibration and the number of swings per minute is the frequency. From there he suggests the energy we radiate is the energy we receive, which is why managing it matters. He invites you to keep a list of your energy drainers and energy givers over the next few weeks, with no analysis or conclusions, just a list. Examples of drainers include comparing yourself with others, social media, alcohol, people pleasing and negative self-talk. Examples of givers include healthy sleep, exercise, time in nature, being present and gratitude. He ties this to the fear that dominates much of the media and to cultivating love, compassion, gratitude, creativity and peace. The episode closes with everyday beauty: the Hilda Houseplant Hospital in Edinburgh, the first dedicated houseplant care facility in Britain, created by Rosanna Costello so struggling plants have somewhere to go. 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Bio link: https://bio.link/beekes 🧠 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🏆 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 💡 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🚀 Skool Brain Fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network, Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts, a community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #Energy #Frequency #Vibration #EnergyManagement #EverydayBeauty #Podcast #ArnoldBeekes #RoyCoughlan

In this question-and-quote episode of Between The Ears, Arnold Beekes asks: when we find ourselves longing for something from the outside world, what might change if we first looked for a way to offer it ourselves? He explains how conditioned we are, especially by advertising, to believe we need to buy products or services to feel better, perform better or be healthier, and invites you to consider living from the inside out instead of the outside in. The quote this time is attributed to Tolkien: it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folks that keep the darkness at bay, small acts of kindness and love. Arnold connects it to Moral Beauty, the fixed topic in the main episodes where he talks about kindness, and leaves you with a reminder that your spark is only useful if it lights up the room. 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Bio link: https://bio.link/beekes 🧠 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🏆 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 💡 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🚀 Skool Brain Fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network, Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts, a community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #SmallActsOfKindness #Kindness #MoralBeauty #LivingInsideOut #Podcast #ArnoldBeekes #RoyCoughlan

In this episode, Arnold Beekes zooms in on the better for all collectives he is setting up. He describes one as a community of care where participants design and implement better for all ways of learning, living and working in their own environment, whether that is a neighbourhood, a city, a country or the world. Collectives are currently being organised in Uganda, Nigeria, Ghana, Paraguay and the Netherlands. Arnold’s reasoning is that the people in charge are focused on what he calls better for a few, while around half of the world’s population lives in poverty and the middle class is disappearing in many developed countries. He doesn’t expect that to change, so he argues we need to build it ourselves through bottom-up innovation, not by fighting the existing reality but by building a new model that makes the old one obsolete. The key principle is to think for yourself, and he calls responsibility the flip side of freedom. He gives homeschooling as a positive example, where parents who see that the education system doesn’t work for their children collaborate with other parents around the world. He invites listeners to set up a better for all collective in their own community, and says he will help and train them. The episode closes with an everyday beauty story about Japanese researchers who screened 45 bacterial strains from the guts of a Japanese tree frog, fire belly newts and grass lizards. One bacterium achieved a 100 percent tumor elimination rate in mice with colorectal cancer after a single intravenous dose, was cleared from the bloodstream within hours and did not colonize normal organs. The study was published in Gut Microbes, and the team plans to test it on breast cancer, pancreatic cancer and melanoma. 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Website: https://bio.link/beekes 💪 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🧠 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 🚀 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🎓 Join our Skool brain-fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network — Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts — community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #BrainUpgrade #BetterForAll #Responsibility #EverydayBeauty #ArnoldBeekes #SelfAwareness

In this Question and Quote episode, Arnold Beekes asks: what experience has changed your perspective? It can be from yesterday, this week or years ago, and he asks what you were doing and what inspired, triggered or hurt you. Knowing which experiences and texts change your perspective helps you learn and grow, and if nothing comes to mind, pay attention over the next few days to what does. The quote is “Conformity is like gravity. It pulls you down. It takes a lot of effort and energy to break free. But once you are free, you will float and be limitless.” Arnold says many forces in society are designed to make you conform, from the obedient citizen to the employee who does exactly what the boss says, in how you look, dress, behave and what you know, with exams testing whether you have memorized what they want. That process ignores your uniqueness, pulls you down and leaves you unsatisfied, with a feeling that you have more potential than you are allowed to use. His call is to move from fitting in to flying out. 🔗 About Your Host (Arnold Beekes) 🌐 Website: https://bio.link/beekes 💪 Brain Gym: https://braingym.fitness 🧠 Brain Athletes: https://brainathletes.club 🚀 Innovation Athletes: https://innovationathletes.club 🎓 Join our Skool brain-fitness community: https://www.skool.com/brain-fitness-7070 Roy Coughlan · The Podfather Network — Editor & Promoter Website: https://roycoughlan.com/ Virtual Assistants: https://va.world/ Private Networking Group: Learn about a Private Networking Group in 50 US States & 50 Countries with 700+ Members https://connectedleaders.academy Brain Upgrade: https://brainupgrade.org/ The Authority Alliance: A Foundation of Experts — community for entrepreneurs, coaches, and thought leaders to connect, collaborate, and grow their authority together: https://theauthorityalliance.com/ EMF Protection: https://protectfromemf.org/ Health & Wellness: https://podfather.thefrequencyawakening.com/ #BetweenTheEars #BrainUpgrade #Conformity #Uniqueness #ArnoldBeekes #SelfAwareness