316. Weddings for Real is Changing! Here's Why...

Are you caught in a loop of overthinking, over-planning, or playing it too safe? In this episode, Megan sits down with acclaimed psychologist, author, and TEDx speaker Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) to explore how high achievers can break free from anxiety, over-analysis, and the relentless pursuit of perfection.This conversation is a must-listen if you're ready to untangle old patterns, create more ease, clarity, and alignment in your life, and finally trust yourself to navigate uncertainty.Quick Note: This episode is part of an unintentional mini-series! If this topic resonates, be sure to check out Episode 317: Unlearning Overworking (solo episode on why rest feels uncomfortable for high achievers) and Episode 318: The Real Reason You’re Questioning Everything (with guest Laura Gassner Otting, on identity shifts and trusting intuition). Each offers a unique perspective on burnout, identity, and self-trust.What You’ll Learn in This Episode: ✅ How anxiety and fear-based responses shrink our lives – and how to expand beyond them ✅ The surprising truth about perfectionism in high achievers (it's not just about academics!)✅ Why "just drop your standards" is an alienating message for people who deeply care ✅ The subtle yet crucial difference between "doing your best" and "doing good enough" ✅ Why your inner critic is paradoxically trying to protect you – and how to respond to it ✅ The unhelpful cycle of responding to thinking with more thinking (and how to break it!) ✅ Common psychological traps that keep us stuck in chronic indecision ✅ The power of making "workable" choices instead of chasing "perfect" ones ✅ Why self-trust doesn't mean the absence of self-doubt, but the willingness to act with it ✅ The deepest fear for high achievers (and how to identify what's truly driving your actions) ✅ How to tap into your innate wisdom amidst the noise of constant doing and hustlingAbout Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z):Website: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.z.passionatebehaviorist/Episode Timestamps:00:03:50 – Dr. Z's personal journey with anxiety and the pivotal panic attack00:05:00 – How anxiety shrinks our lives and stops us from living authentically00:06:10 – Megan's experience as a professional worrier turned wedding planner00:08:36 – The hidden perfectionism of high achievers and why they can't "do mediocre work"00:10:49 – Why "dropping your standards" creates resistance and an alienated message00:12:07 – Dr. Z's story of being told to "stop working so hard" and its impact00:13:22 – Navigating generational shifts: "Practice makes perfect" vs. "Practice makes progress"00:14:57 – The radical acceptance of being an overachiever and learning to discriminate00:17:37 – Preparing for the guilt and remorse that comes with "good enough"00:18:11 – Distinguishing what's "good enough" in different life buckets (business, motherhood)00:19:31 – The role of self-compassion and humility in making tough choices00:23:15 – The value of pausing and processing (watching your mind)00:24:34 – Responding to yourself with gentleness and kindness when guilt arrives00:25:11 – The never-ending background noise of the inner critic00:26:24 – Understanding the inner critic's purpose: It's trying to protect you00:29:49 – Why you can't win a "mind chess game" with your inner critic00:31:17 – Making decisions from values vs. fear (avoiding or gaining something)00:32:28 – Navigating big life decisions without spiraling into overwhelm00:33:53 – Why humans hate uncertainty and how it impacts decision-making00:35:43 – The Buddhist parable of the monkey and the lotus (attachment to "how things are supposed to be")00:37:03 – Thinking biases: black and white thinking, hypervigilance, fear of regret00:37:55 – Our ability to adapt: every decision is a bet on the future00:38:26 – Maximizers vs. Satisficers: Understanding your decision style00:41:01 – Giving ourselves permission to make a workable, not perfect, choice00:41:51 – The crucial role of self-trust in navigating what comes next00:42:40 – Psychological flexibility: being flexible with the world inside and out00:44:54 – Overthinking as a coping mechanism to avoid emotions00:46:43 – The deepest fear of high achievers: the fear of failure00:47:50 – Checking in: What is really driving your "go, go, go" mode?00:48:40 – Cultivating your inner wisdom (it's soft and tender, not demanding)Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!For Real on Social Media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcastHosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

You’ve checked the boxes. You’ve followed the rules. And still, something feels… off. If you’re standing in the middle of success and wondering, “Now what?”, this episode is for you.Laura Gassner Otting - bestselling author, keynote speaker, and all-around truth-teller - joins Megan to talk about identity shifts, outgrowing your former self, and the surprising power of trusting your intuition.This conversation is for the high achievers who are secretly exhausted. For the people-pleasers who are learning to say “no.” For the women who are ready to stop playing small.Because what got you here won’t get you there, and Laura’s here to help you figure out what comes next.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ What to do when you’ve built success that no longer fits you✅ How to know when it’s time to walk away from a job, business, or relationship✅ Why we cling to old versions of ourselves - and how to gently unravel them✅ The subtle difference between imposter syndrome and growth✅ Why comparison is the root of mediocrity✅ How to use facts, not fear, to make bold decisions✅ The importance of protecting your energy and curating your inner circle✅ Laura’s “F you, pay me” mantra—and how to claim your worth without apology-----About Laura Gassner Otting (LGO):Website: https://lauragassnerotting.com/Books (Wonderhell and Limitless): https://lauragassnerotting.com/resources/#booksInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/heylgo/---00:03:24 – From the White House to TEDx: Laura’s beautifully messy origin story00:07:55 – Identity crisis: What it really looks like and why it’s so common00:10:00 – Why the people who “know you best” might be holding you back00:13:53 – Changing the voice in your head from a limitation to an invitation00:18:28 – When to know you’ve stayed too long—and why success can lead to sabotage00:22:59 – The myth of being “for everyone” and the gift of letting go00:24:31 – Confidence through facts, not fluff00:27:23 – You’re not out of your league—you’re just out of your lexicon 00:30:59 – Comparison vs. becoming a category of one 00:34:46 – How to train your brain to see opportunities (not just obstacles) 00:36:39 – Why too much advice might mean you already know the answer 00:39:11 – “F*ck you, pay me”: The mantra you didn’t know you neededToday's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!For Real on Social Media:Instagram: @forrealwithmegFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcastHosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

At the end of 2023, there was this phrase I kept hearing in my head on repeat. "It doesn't feel safe to slow down."I'd end my days feeling completely depleted mentally, physically, and emotionally. And yet I'd still push myself to do more. Sometimes it was work stuff, sometimes it was home stuff. But I had this constant, almost compulsive need to be doing something productive at all times. Rest felt elusive, like this thing other people could do, once they'd earned it. For me, rest basically just meant sleep. It was a quick reset so I could get up and do it all over again.Sound familiar?  Let's figure out how we can unlearn that habit.-----Episode Mentioned: 314. The 3 Small Habit Shifts That Changed My Energy, Focus, and CEO Mindset---Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We’d love to have you!For Real on Social Media:Instagram: @forrealwithmegFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcastHosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

Today I'm sharing something big. It's a shift that's been a long time coming, one that mirrors the evolution that I've been going through behind the scenes for the last couple of years. It's part update, part story-time, and part love letter to you, to this podcast, and to what's coming next.----Weddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

For years, the events and hospitality industry has glorified burnout—long hours, nonstop chaos, toxic management—and called it passion. But what if there's a better way?Anthony Lambatos, CEO of Footers Catering and founder of Make It Better Every Day, joins us today to prove that you can build a thriving business and a culture people actually want to be part of. He’s created a workplace where fun and productivity go hand in hand, and where culture isn’t a poster on the wall—it’s lived and breathed, every day.Whether you lead a team now or dream of growing one someday, this episode will get you thinking about what’s possible when you lead with heart.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ Why fun and productivity aren’t mutually exclusive✅ How to identify the biggest culture killer in your business (hint: it might be your “top performer”)✅ A simple matrix to assess culture fit vs. job performance✅ What it really takes to live your values, not just list them ✅ How to spark team buy-in and momentum when shifting culture ✅ Anthony’s favorite interview tactic to determine who’s truly aligned ✅ What “balance” really means in hospitality—and how to model it ✅ The one piece of advice he wishes he could give his younger selfConnect with Anthony Lambatos:Website and Weekly Leadership Newsletter: https://themibe.comHeart Leadership Workshop: August 18–19, 2025: https://themibe.com/mibeworkshopMIBE Summit: January 2026 (dates TBA): https://themibe.com/summit00:00:00 – Burnout, chaos, and shifting toxic norms in hospitality00:03:38 – Why bad leadership models persist—and how to break the cycle00:05:24 – The culture boulder: how to build momentum (and know who’s pulling it back)00:08:07 – The culture vs. performance matrix—and how to handle toxic high performers00:13:25 – Values on the wall vs. values in practice00:17:04 – Fab Tigers, Jimmy Bucks, and reinforcing behavior through story00:19:15 – Why they all eat lunch together—and what happens during it00:23:45 – How Anthony’s team handles feedback and vulnerability00:25:41 – The 7-step hiring process (and the “deck of values” trick)00:30:00 – 4 characteristics of top performers: perseverance, initiative, teamwork, positivity00:33:48 – Where Anthony learned to lead—and how he learned what not to do 00:36:00 – Pom poms, productivity, and making work fun again 00:38:36 – The three foundations of culture: strengths, purpose, and people----Weddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

Ever feel like you're stuck in a rut — low on energy, scattered, or just... kinda over it all?You're not alone, and today's episode is for you.After hitting a few of those "blah" moments myself, I found three small (but powerful) habit shifts that helped me recharge my energy, refocus my mind, and rebuild my CEO mindset — without needing a 17-step system, a new planner, or a $5K mastermind. 🙃And the best part?You can start them this week. They're free, they're simple, and they work.Today, I'm sharing:A 30-Day Mini Habit Challenge to kickstart momentum (and how to actually stick with it)How to make the boring, soul-sucking tasks way more enjoyableThe sneaky power of 10-minute "white space" breaks to reset your brain and boost creativityIf you’ve been running on fumes, stuck in hustle mode, or just craving a little more joy in your days, you're going to love these small but mighty shifts.Your challenge: Pick one shift to start this week. DM me or tag me (@weddingsforreal) to let me know which one you’re trying — and don't forget to plan a reward for yourself when you nail it.Episode Highlights:[1:15] – Why small shifts > big overhauls[4:09] – Habit Shift #1: The 30-Day Mini Habit Reset (and why it builds CEO confidence)[13:44] – Habit Shift #2: Making hard tasks feel lighter and more enjoyable[16:25] – Habit Shift #3: Why 10-minute white space breaks are your secret weapon[20:32] – Quick recap and your action step for this week---Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault. The doors are currently closed for The Planner's Vault, but join the wait list now so you can be the first to know when the doors re-open.Weddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

If you’ve ever had that feeling about someone on your team—the subtle “something’s off” whisper in your gut—you’re not alone.In this episode, Megan is joined by her longtime COO and teammate of 14 years, Gina Johnston, to unpack one of the trickiest leadership challenges: knowing when to coach…and when to cut ties.Whether you’re leading a team of 10 or just thinking about hiring your first assistant, this is the honest, behind-the-scenes conversation every business owner needs to hear.Because sometimes, leadership isn’t about waving pom-poms. It’s about setting clear expectations, having hard conversations, and asking yourself the uncomfortable but necessary question:Is this a coaching opportunity…or is it time to let them go?What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ The 3 must-dos for onboarding a new team member✅ What’s actually coachable—and what probably isn’t ✅ The leadership mistake Megan made that cost her time and energy (so you can avoid it) ✅ Why you shouldn’t hire in a moment of panic (and what to do if you already did) ✅ How to avoid getting stuck in the dreaded “gray zone” of mediocre team performance ✅ The one thing people pleasers need to hear when it’s time to let someone go ✅ A free resource to improve your team’s communication and event debriefsFree Resource:Post-Event Team Feedback Questionnaire Get Megan & Gina’s go-to tool for checking in with your team after each event. It’s simple, practical, and a game-changer for team growth and accountability. Download it here - https://learn.theplannersvault.com/teameventdebriefTimestamps:00:00 – The hiring gut check no one talks about 02:27 – Meet Gina: 14 years, one unicorn hire 04:11 – Why panic hiring is usually a mistake 08:01 – The 3 non-negotiables for onboarding 13:21 – How to give (and track) meaningful feedback 16:10 – What you can coach (and how) 18:55 – What you can’t coach—no matter how nice they are 20:41 – People pleasing vs. leadership 24:24 – Boundaries when you’re also friends 28:15 – Using vendors as a feedback loop 29:21 – Let your team fail (seriously) 30:07 – How to navigate the gray zone with clarity 31:27 – Final takeaways + how to lead with intentionWeddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

Ever feel like your business has taken on a life of its own—and you’re not sure if it still fits the version of success you’re chasing?You’re not alone.In today’s episode, Megan Gillikin sits down with award-winning photographer, educator, and content creator Vanessa Joy, whose two-decade career has evolved from darkrooms to YouTube stardom and now… clean water wells in Kenya.This one’s about growth. But not the “scale at all costs” kind. We're talking about soulful evolution—the kind that happens when you realize you’ve built something great… but it’s time for something different.Vanessa shares how to know when you’re scaling or spiraling, the not-so-glamorous reality of launching a passion project, and how to reconnect with what you actually want. (Oh, and she also talks about buying a seven-foot-tall printer—so buckle up.)Whether you're in burnout, busy mode, or just feeling the pull to pivot, this episode is your reminder: you're allowed to grow beyond the box you built.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ How to recognize when you’ve outgrown your business✅ The difference between shiny object syndrome and soul-led decisions✅ Why fear doesn’t mean stop—it just means be brave✅ What it really looks like to pursue a big, messy dream (like starting a nonprofit)✅ How to create space for rest—even in the busiest seasons✅ Why building long-term relationships is your best marketing strategy✅ The beauty of attracting the right clients (and repelling the wrong ones)Support Vanessa’s Clean Water Project Vanessa is raising funds to build clean water wells in Kenya through her limited-edition photo print sales.DM https://www.instagram.com/vanessajoy, with the words prints for waterVisit: safariwildlifeandlandscapes.comTimestamps: 00:00 – When growth feels like a wall 03:19 – Overwhelm, marketing, and measuring what actually matters 07:59 – Gut checks vs shiny objects 10:07 – The messy middle of launching a nonprofit 16:44 – Pouring into yourself when you're pouring into everyone else 19:08 – Saying no and making your own schedule 22:24 – Relationships: the real business growth strategy 28:27 – Client red flags, repelling & attracting 30:21 – Growing beyond what used to work 31:40 – Final takeaway: “Be afraid—but do it anyway”Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault. The doors are currently closed for The Planner's Vault, but join the wait list now so you can be the first to know when the doors re-open.Weddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.

Let's talk about fear. I don't mean the kind of fear you might feel when you're being chased by a giant bear, or fear of all those dang bees that hang around your house. I mean the kind that shows up when you're about to raise your prices. Or finally launch that thing that you've been talking about for years.  Or the fear that comes up when you say no to a client that's not the right fit. Or that fear that pops up when there's an opportunity in front of you that takes you off the path of what you had expected or planned to do, and it leaves you questioning whether you should say yes. Fear is real. But the question is, how do you know if something isn't aligned? Or if you're just afraid to take that next step?---Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault. The doors are currently closed for The Planner's Vault, but join the wait list now so you can be the first to know when the doors re-open.Weddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Earfluence.

For years, Kristi Coulter climbed the corporate ladder at Amazon, working long hours, hitting major career milestones, and earning great money—but at what cost? Eventually, she reached a breaking point, realizing she was living for her employer instead of herself. In her book, Exit Interview: The Life and Death of My Ambitious Career, Kristi shares the eye-opening realities of hustle culture, burnout, and redefining success on her own terms.Have you felt the pressure to keep pushing, to say yes to every opportunity, and to measure success by constant achievement? Yeah me too.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ How hustle culture shows up in both corporate and entrepreneurial life✅ The hidden costs of always striving for the next big goal✅ Why so many people stay in jobs (or businesses) that drain them—and how to know when it’s time to walk away✅ The myth of “leap and the net will appear” and a more sustainable approach to career transitions✅ How to redefine success in a way that actually aligns with your values✅ The truth about imposter syndrome—and why it never fully goes away✅ Why women, in particular, face unique pressures in the workplace (and how to push back against them)-----Connect with Kristi Coulter:Exit Interview: The Life and Death of My Ambitious Career: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780374600907/exitinterview/Website: https://www.kristicoulter.com/------00:00:00 - The reality of burnout and hitting a breaking point 00:03:45 - Why success doesn’t always feel as fulfilling as we expect 00:12:30 - The dangers of "all or nothing" thinking in careers and business 00:18:50 - Should you really just "take the leap"? A smarter approach to transitions 00:27:15 - Imposter syndrome: Why we all have it (even the most successful people) 00:36:40 - The unique challenges women face in business and leadership 00:45:20 - How to step away from the hustle without losing yourself 00:54:30 - Redefining what success actually looks like for you---Today's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault. The doors are currently closed for The Planner's Vault, but join the wait list now so you can be the first to know when the doors re-open.Weddings for Real on Social Media:Instagram: @weddingsforrealFacebook: @weddingsforrealtwitter: @weddingsforrealHosted by Megan Gillikin, Weddings for Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West.