179: How To MAKE REAL FRIENDSHIPS As An Adult (and KEEP them!) with Anna Goldfarb

What if strength isn’t about how much we can lift, but how we manage life’s struggles? What if we've been told lies our whole life about what it means to truly TAKE UP SPACE? What if failing isn't the end of a goal, but helps you set the goal itself? Today's SEASON 9 FINALE episode is with the incredible Alyssa Ages — journalist, strongman competitor, and author of SECRETS OF GIANTS: A Journey To Uncover The True Meaning of Strength. IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT: The importance of asking WHY, not HOW How endurance athletes frame FAILURE, and how to use this specific tactic in your own life way beyond achieving strength goals Why it's so hard for women especially to TAKE UP SPACE, the sneaky language to watch out for, and how to reframe your relationship with it The importance of using the word YET "BULK" (this is mind-blowing!) What Alyssa did when she realized the story she'd been telling herself for a DECADE was a lie Strength as we AGE and how to reverse hamful narratives even if we think "it's too late" and so much more! This is an episode you'll want to share with your friends, parents, grandparents, siblings, and more.  Thank you for making Season 9 one of the best yet. See you in September for Season 10! ~ ABOUT ALYSSA: Alyssa Ages is the author of SECRETS OF GIANTS: A Journey to Uncover the True Meaning of Strength (Avery/Penguin Random House) and a journalist whose work has appeared in ELLE, SELF, GQ, Slate, The Globe & Mail, and others. She is a mom, strongman competitor, endurance athlete (six marathons & an Ironman), rock climber, CrossFitter, and former member of the Jersey City Bridge & Pummel roller derby team. Her first book, Secrets of Giants (Avery/Penguin Random House, 9/23), is part personal narrative, part research mission, part midlife crisis odyssey into the world of strength to answer the question: What if strength isn’t about how much we can lift, but how we manage life’s struggles.   ~ SHOW NOTES: Buy SECRETS OF GIANTS Alyssa's website Alyssa on IG Alyssa's speaking page ~ TICKETS to WANT YOUR SELF: A Book Launch Cabaret at The Bourbon Room on 7/16 TICKETS to MODERN FRIENDSHIP at Guild Hall in conversation with Anna Goldfarb on 6/30 ~ Join THE WANT COMMUNITY!  Buy WANT YOUR SELF  Follow Katie on Instagram Leave a review of the WANTcast on iTunes (and SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW if you haven't already!) Subscribe to WANT on Substack, and get our bimonthly email newsletter filled with tips, tools, motivation, and inspiration to shift your self-talk Email Katie at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram to let her know what you want to hear about, who you want to hear from, or what you want to learn next season of the WANTcast!  

It's the mystery that eludes so many of us: How do you make friends as an adult — REAL-DEAL friends – and how do you nurture these valued connections? Today's guest has been called "The New York Times Friendship Correspondent" and is here with us to dig into the #1 asked question throughout all of WANT's 10 year history: how do I find my people? Author Anna Goldfarb's reporting has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, Washington Post, Vox, Vice, and more. Her book MODERN FRIENDSHIP (out TODAY, June 4th 2024), explores the nuances of navigating adult friendships. IN THIS EPISODE WE TALK ABOUT... The HUGE yet shockingly simple factor keeping us from making and maintaining friendships, especially as we get older Why making friends is more of a challenge now than it ever was for our parents or grandparents How to categorize friends in a way that doesn't feel icky and actually HELPS you nurture friendships sans guilt or obligation Men and friendship, plus different gender expectations as we get older  Making friends as an introvert or someone who has trust issues and SO MUCH MORE!!!!!   ABOUT ANNA: Anna Goldfarb is a friendship journalist who has reported for outlets including the New York Times, the Atlantic, Time magazine, Vice, The Cut, Vox, and the Washington Post. Called “the New York Times friendship correspondent” by Tim Herrera, the editor of the New York Times Smarter Living section, she’s written hundreds of articles that explore the nuances of friendships, relationships, and pop psychology. She lives in Philadelphia. Her first book, MODERN FRIENDSHIP: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, is out today and available wherever books are sold. ~ SHOW NOTES: Modern Friendship Anna's website Anna on IG Anna's Substack Anna in the NYT Join us in East Hampton on June 30th at Guild Hall! ~ Join THE WANT COMMUNITY!  Buy WANT YOUR SELF  Follow Katie on Instagram Leave a review of the WANTcast on iTunes (and SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW if you haven't already!) Subscribe to WANT on Substack, and get our bimonthly email newsletter filled with tips, tools, motivation, and inspiration to shift your self-talk Email Katie at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram to let her know what you want to hear about, who you want to hear from, or what you want to learn next season of the WANTcast!  

If you're fed up with ridiculous, patriarchal dating rules but don't know what you'd do instead...so feel like you just need to put up with sucky dates for who knows how long...our guest Lily Womble has got your back. This episode is about dating, of course, but it's really about building the most authentic relationships of your life — including the relationship with yourself. IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT: Feeling like you're either too much or not enough How to ACTUALLY meet people The way dating apps are engineered and where they fit in your dating life's ecosystem How to find great dates in difficult situations (ie small towns, places with values or politics that don't align with yours, etc) and more! ABOUT LILY: Lily Womble is sparking a feminist revolution in the way we date and find love. She was one of the top matchmakers in the U.S., but after setting up hundreds of dates, Lily realized that the answer to finding love was much deeper than a setup, and that the way we are taught to date is still stuck in the patriarchal dark ages. She founded her company, Date Brazen, six years ago and has since helped hundreds of women create love lives that are epic, settle-proof, and joyful-as-hell with her intersectional feminist approach. She changes lives daily on TikTok, Top 4 Relationship Podcast- The Date Brazen Podcast , and sold-out coaching programs world-wide. Her debut nonfiction advice book, Thank You, More Please: A feminist guide to breaking dumb dating rules and finding love, comes out in June 2024 with Legacy Lit. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband, Chris. ~ SHOW NOTES: Order Thank You, More Please Lily on TikTok Lily on IG Date Brazen The Date Brazen Podcast ~ Join THE WANT COMMUNITY!  Buy WANT YOUR SELF  Follow Katie on Instagram Leave a review of the WANTcast on iTunes (and SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW if you haven't already!) Subscribe to WANT on Substack, and get our bimonthly email newsletter filled with tips, tools, motivation, and inspiration to shift your self-talk Email Katie at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram to let her know what you want to hear about, who you want to hear from, or what you want to learn next season of the WANTcast!

When we talk about parenting, are we just talking about the kids or are we actually talking about relationships? When we talk about yoga, are we just talking about the poses or are we actually talking about life?  Sarah Ezrin would argue: YES. We can learn so much about ourselves and how we walk through the world through these two things. (CW: pregnancy loss, abortion; eating disorders; substance abuse)  SARAH EZRIN is the author of the award-winning book The Yoga of Parenting. She is a highly-sought after yoga educator, content creator, and maternal mental health advocate based in the San Francisco Bay Area. Sarah lovingly supports people along their wellness and parenthood journeys. She is a regular contributor for Yoga Journal Magazine, Motherly, Yoga International, Healthline, and more, and her words, teachings, and social media are supportive, healing sources for people to feel seen and heard.  IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT... The delicate balance of being honest in your writing when other people are involved in your story What parenting lessons can teach us about ourselves What yoga can teach us beyond the poses Making big decisions in your best interests, even if they're heartbreaking The realities of parenthood, caregiving, and "the village" How to talk to kids when you're going through a tough time How to begin a yoga practice when you're intimidated How to navigate the parts of parenting you're avoiding or don't want to approach and SO MUCH MORE ~ SHOW NOTES: Buy The Yoga Of Parenting For more information on Sarah, visit her website, YouTube, or connect with her on Instagram and TikTok Subscribe to Sarah's Substack Join THE WANT COMMUNITY  Buy WANT YOUR SELF  Email Katie at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram to let her know what you want to hear about, who you want to hear from, or what you want to learn next season of the WANTcast! Follow Katie on social Leave a review of the WANTcast on iTunes (and SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW if you haven't already!) Subscribe to WANT on Substack, and get our bimonthly email newsletter filled with tips, tools, motivation, and inspiration to shift your self-talk

When you hear "...you'll regret it," what do you do? If you’re someone who is of a certain *pre-45-ish* age, NOT a parent, and are either decidedly child-free or on the fence about this massive life decision, you’re probably familiar with the REGRET conversation. (“You’ll regret it when you’re old” being the main thesis statement of that convo.) But beyond the parenthood conversation, it can seem like everything is wrapped up in the will-I-won't-I debate: work, job, relationships, even food. Regret is a big topic for a lot of us, so today, we're going there.  ~ SHOW NOTES: Listen to Episode 175 with Ruby Warrington Join THE WANT COMMUNITY (launching the first week of May!) Buy WANT YOUR SELF  Email Katie at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram to let her know what you want to hear about, who you want to hear from, or what you want to learn next season of the WANTcast! Follow Katie on social! Leave a review of the WANTcast on iTunes (and SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW if you haven't already!) Subscribe to WANT on Substack, and get our bimonthly email newsletter filled with tips, tools, motivation, and inspiration to shift your self-talk

Today we're talking to Ruby Warrington all about being a Woman Without Kids, being "a village person," and the nuances of being child-free (by choice or by circumstance). IN THIS EPISODE, we get extremely candid as we talk about: The ways the parenthood vs. non-parenthood discussion has evolved, and ways it hasn't The "motherhood spectrum" vs. the motherhood binary Other people's opinions and cultural expectations / "noise" around motherhood, and how that affects us Our inner "noise" around motherhood, and how that affects us A new spin on the conversations around love and regret Navigating grief when you wanted to be a parent but it wasn't in the cards (childfree by circumstance) How to create a movement that matters ...and SO much more!  Ruby Warrington is a British-born author and editor, perhaps best known as the creator of the term “sober curious”. Her 2018 book and million-download podcast of the same title has helped to spearhead a global movement to reevaluate our relationship with alcohol. Her latest book, Women Without Kids, asks: “Instead of continuing to paint childfree women as sad, self-obsessed, or somehow dysfunctional, what if we saw them as boldly forging a first-in-a-civilization vision for a fully autonomous womankind? What if being a woman without kids was in fact its own kind of legacy?” Ruby's other works include Material Girl, Mystical World, The Numinous Astro Deck, and The Sober Curious Reset. With more than 20 years of experience as a lifestyle journalist and editor, Ruby is also the founder of self-publishing imprint Numinous Books and is known as a true thought leader in the “Now Age” wellness space. ~ SHOW NOTES: Find Ruby at https://www.rubywarrington.com/ and on Instagram @rubywarrington Buy WOMEN WITHOUT KIDS Attend the CELEBRATE BEING CHILDFREE retreat at Kripalu with Rachel Cargle ~ BUY WANT YOUR SELF on... WANT YOUR SELF on Amazon (don't forget to rate and review it here!) Amazon Kindle Audible Bookshop Barnes & Noble Target Sounds True ~ Email Katie at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram to let her know what you want to hear about, who you want to hear from, or what you want to learn next season of the WANTcast!  

Skeptical when you hear words like "channeling" or "psychic"...but also wondering what is and isn't the real deal? Whether you're a tarot skeptic, tarot-curious, or a literal card-carrying member of the club, I cannot stress this enough: this episode is for you. Today's guest is KATE VAN HORN: tarot reader, psychic, spiritual mentor, and author of THE INNER TAROT. IN THIS EPISODE, we discuss:  What it means to have a "channelled experience" What people get wrong about intuition How to approach reading tarot for the first time How to hone your own practice "Reversals," "panic pulling," and "sloppy shuffling" How Kate reads for hersefl vs reads for others and more!! PLUS!!!!! Make sure you listen til the end: Kate does an interactive tarot card pull for listeners, where you get to choose a card and she'll interpret it for us. SHOW NOTES: The Inner Tarot Kate's website Kate on IG @kate.van.horn Kate on TT ~ BUY WANT YOUR SELF on... WANT YOUR SELF on Amazon (don't forget to rate and review it here!) Amazon Kindle Audible Bookshop Barnes & Noble Target Sounds True ~ Email Katie at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram to let her know what you want to hear about, who you want to hear from, or what you want to learn next season of the WANTcast!

No, this isn't another stereotypical "self-care" conversation — we don't need any more of those. This is about PLEASURE: what it (actually) is, isn't, and why it's so freaking hard for so many of us to access it.  In this conversation with Anne Hodder-Shipp and Sarah Tomchesson, S3X PLUS cofounders + facilitators of "Pleasure Attitudes: Building An Embodied Self-Care Practice That Really Works," we'll dive into: Pleasure as a euphamism vs. pleasure beyond sexuality, and why these two can be so tough to separate for many of us A take on burnout you probably haven't heard before, and how pleasure fits into the mix "Pleasure role models" Hobbies and making friends as an adult and SO MUCH MORE ABOUT ANNE: Anne Hodder-Shipp, CSE (she/they) is an award-winning certified sex and relationship educator and coach dedicated to providing accurate, expansive, and compassionate care. They are the founder and lead educator at Everyone Deserves Sex Ed, a sex ed and professional development organization, and co-founder of S3X Plus, an online community that offers courses like Pleasure Attitudes: Building an Embodied Self-care Practice that Really Works. Anne works with people and couples to help build skills, knowledge, and confidence around identity, pleasure, relationships, and more. Most recently, Anne wrote the modern love language expansion, Speaking from the Heart: 18 Languages for Modern Love, and its accompanying guide, The Speaking from the Heart Workbook: A Practical Guide to the Modern Love Languages. (Listen to Anne on the WANTcast! Episode 016 and Episode 152) ABOUT SARAH: Sarah Tomchesson, C.S.E. (she/her) advocates for sexual liberation through her work as a sex educator, sex toy evangelist, and podcast host. Sarah has spent much of her career shaping legendary sex toy brands, including Pleasure Chest, Babeland, and, now, the iconic Magic Wand brand. She is a certified sexuality educator and has been developing, programming, and presenting pleasure-based sex education nationwide since 2007.  She is co-founder of S3X Plus, an online community of curious people exploring the intersections of pleasure and healing, and co-host of the weekly feminist podcast, F*ck Yeah, which aims to disrupt harmful ideas about sexuality, intimate relationships, identity, parenthood, and more. Sarah is proud mama to a vivacious 8-year-old and honored to act as Vice Chair of the Board of Directors of SIECUS – Sex Ed for Social Change, the nation’s leading sex education policy non-profit. ~ SHOW NOTES: Use code ATTITUDE15 to join Pleasure Attitudes for 15% off (begins March 14th 2024) S3XPLUS.COM Anne's website: https://www.annehoddershipp.com Anne on IG: https://www.instagram.com/theannehodder Anne on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theannehodder Sarah's website: https://damianaproductions.com Sarah on IG: https://www.instagram.com/sarahtomtomtom F*ck Yeah Pod: www.fuckyeahpod.com IG: @fuckyeahpod   ~ BUY WANT YOUR SELF on... WANT YOUR SELF on Amazon (don't forget to rate and review it here!) Amazon Kindle Audible Bookshop Barnes & Noble Target Sounds True ~ Email Katie at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram to let her know what you want to hear about, who you want to hear from, or what you want to learn next season of the WANTcast!

This episode is a little bit of a paradox...building old habits to achieve new goals? You read that right. In this solo episode of the WANTcast, we're talking all about how to avoid losing steam on what you've got your heart set on — AND how to build momentum for yourself in a way that's actually SUSTAINABLE. Which is the key word if you want to move forward.   SHOW NOTES: 168: How To Figure Out What SUCCESS Means to You (Before You Get There!) 169: Motivation, Flexibility, and RETHINKING Your Relationship With FITNESS with Amanda Katz Join Katie on 2/27 for the launch of THE INNER TAROT in NYC BUY WANT YOUR SELF on... WANT YOUR SELF on Amazon (don't forget to rate and review it here!) Amazon Kindle Audible Bookshop Barnes & Noble Target Sounds True ~ Email Katie at [email protected] or DM her on Instagram to let her know what you want to hear about, who you want to hear from, or what you want to learn next season of the WANTcast!  

You've probably been told to FOLLOW YOUR PASSION in order to find meaning, purpose, and joy in life. But what if that's...just not it? What if passion isn't what STARTS the journeys worth taking at all? In today's episode, we're talking to Terri Trespicio: award-winning writer, speaker, and the author of Unfollow Your Passion: How to Create a Life that Matters to You. IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS: Imposter syndrome and how to "overcome" it (or maybe not?) Why passion often isn't the jump-start button we think it is What to follow instead How to find strength in our comfort zones The bts story behind Terri's life-changing TED Talk ...and more!  ~ SHOW NOTES: Check out Terri's programs: Creative License (8-week program to create your personal playbook for figuring out what you want to do and how to do it) Hard Reset (self-paced program to clear blocks and set new rules so that you can better rise to the occasion) New Rules Studio (ideal for people who want to spend time on the page, either crafting your work or reflecting on your own journey/growth) Terri's website Terri's TEDx Talk Terri's IG Terri's FB Terri's LinkedIn Buy WANT YOUR SELF on Amazon (don't forget to rate and review it here!) Amazon Kindle Audible Bookshop Barnes & Noble Target Sounds True Follow Katie on social Leave a review of the WANTcast on iTunes (and SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW if you haven't already!) Subscribe to WANT on Substack, and get our bimonthly email newsletter filled with tips, tools, motivation, and inspiration to shift your self-talk