I recovered from my eating disorder so why am I not happy?

You Recovered From Your Eating Disorder, So Why Are You Still Anxious?This is a solo episode that hits different.I'm addressing something I'm hearing from clients constantly: "I've stopped restricting. I'm eating freely. I haven't binged or purged in months. I'm doing all the work, Victoria, but I'm still having panic attacks. I'm still depressed. Sometimes I'm more anxious now than when I had the eating disorder. Have I done something wrong?"The answer is no. You've actually uncovered what was there all along.This episode is for you if:• You're recovered (or nearly recovered) but still struggling with anxiety, depression, panic, or shutdown• You feel like recovery was supposed to fix everything, but you're still a mess• You're wondering if you failed at recovery or if something's wrong with you• The eating disorder was actually numbing what's underneath• You're grieving the loss of your coping mechanism• You want to know what the fuck to do about itIn this episode, we cover:✨ Why recovery can actually make anxiety and depression feel worse✨ The eating disorder as a coping mechanism — what it was really managing✨ The window of tolerance and nervous system dysregulation explained✨ Why your nervous system is swinging between panic and shutdown✨ Hyper arousal vs hypo arousal — and which bank you're hitting✨ How trauma and childhood overwhelm shaped your window of tolerance✨ Why the eating disorder communicated what you couldn't say✨ You are NOT a victim to your nervous system — you can manage it✨ Up-regulation tools for when you're flat, numb, and depressed✨ Down-regulation tools for when you're panicking, anxious, and overwhelmed✨ The STOP skill from DBT — interrupt the automatic response✨ Natural reframes to stop the shame spiral✨ How to widen your window of tolerance intentionally and slowly✨ It's not about avoiding the banks — it's about your relationship to them✨ Practicing at your edge consistently until it expands✨ Using fear foods as nervous system expansion work✨ Why this is the real recovery work nobody talks aboutPowerful quotes from the episode:💬 "You didn't do anything wrong. You've just uncovered what was there all along."💬 "Your eating disorder was never the problem. It was your solution to a problem. Now the solution is gone."💬 "Recovery makes this worse because now you're feeling the full force of your nervous system dysregulation without the coping mechanism."💬 "You are not a victim to your nervous system. You can actually manage it."💬 "It's not about making the river wider so you never touch the banks. It's about your relationship to the banks when you do hit them."If you're recovered but still struggling, if you're wondering what's wrong with you, if you're grieving the loss of your eating disorder because at least it managed something — this episode will reframe everything.You're not broken. You're not failing at recovery. You're just finally feeling what was always there, and now you get to learn how to actually manage it.The song I recommended:QUIET (Acoustic) Hillside Recording & Diana Trout💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

This episode is raw, honest, and deeply hopeful.I sit down with Brooke, one of my coaching clients, who recovered from a severe eating disorder that began in her teens — fuelled by praise for being “small,” TikTok diet culture, gym culture, religious conditioning, and a deep fear of weight gain.Brooke shares her journey from hospitalisation and years of being “technically recovered but mentally trapped,” to full food freedom, weight restoration, and a life no longer ruled by her eating disorder.This conversation is especially powerful if you:• Are afraid you’ll never recover mentally• Fear weight gain won’t stop• Have food allergies that complicate recovery• Struggle with body image, curves, or modesty conditioning• Feel “different” or like recovery won’t work for youIn this episode, we cover:✨ How praise for being “small” planted the seeds of Brooke’s eating disorder✨ TikTok, calorie counting, gym culture & “healthy” restriction✨ Why traditional treatment kept her stuck✨ The turning point that made her choose recovery for herself✨ Doing recovery “for the we” when doing it for yourself feels impossible✨ Navigating recovery with food allergies (without using them as an ED excuse)✨ Full surrender to mental hunger — and why it’s non-negotiable✨ Gaining multiple clothing sizes and surviving the body image grief✨ Religious shame, modesty, curves & reclaiming bodily autonomy✨ Why weight gain did stop — and how set point brought mental peace✨ The messy middle of recovery no one talks about✨ Life after recovery: travel, work, relationships & real freedomPowerful quotes from the episode:💬 “I thought I’d be the biggest person who ever recovered. I wasn’t.”💬 “The long-term hard is living with an eating disorder forever.”💬 “Full allowance is what traditional recovery misses.”💬 “You can recover physically and mentally — I’m proof.”💬 “The eating disorder thrives in shame. I’m taking my power back.”If you’re scared, exhausted, or stuck in the middle — this episode will remind you what’s possible.💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/ 💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/ 💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/ 💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial 💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

Fear, Power & Recovery with KarlaIn this conversation with Karla, I sit down and get brutally honest about fear - the real barrier to your eating disorder recovery. We talk about why every single one of my clients, and everyone I've ever worked with, is fighting fear in different ways. And more importantly, we talk about how to actually face it. This episode is essential for anyone stuck in restriction, anyone waiting to feel ready, and anyone who needs reminding that you have far more power than you think.Key Quotes from the Episode:💬 "Fear doesn't control your legs or your arms or your mouth. It feels like it does, but it doesn't. Fear only works when you run from it."💬 "When people say they can't, they're lying. They won't. And that sounds harsh, but I say it with so much love."💬 "You can't recover from an eating disorder while acting like you have an eating disorder."💬 "Only you can recover. You can have the best coach in the world, but only you can take the action and do the recovery for you."💬 "You're not your brain. You're not your nervous system. Show them it's safe to gain weight, even if it doesn't feel like it. Actions speak louder than words, even for yourself."✨ What I Cover in This Episode✨ Why fear is the biggest barrier to recovery - and why recognising this is actually empowering, not defeating✨ The difference between "can't" and "won't" - and why this distinction puts you back in your power✨ How to face fear without waiting to feel ready (spoiler: you never will, so you might as well start now)✨ The real reason actions speak louder than words - and how to show your nervous system it's actually safe to eat, gain weight, and rest✨ Why recovery requires both unrestricted eating AND trauma healing work - doing one without the other won't create lasting change✨ How your personality traits that fuelled your eating disorder can absolutely fuel your recovery instead✨ The power of someone believing in you when you can't believe in yourself - and why this matters more than you think✨ What true self-love actually means and why you're seeking what you already are✨ The difference between acceptance and surrender, and why the latter changes everything✨ How to use responsibility as empowerment, not shame - owning your choices is where your freedom lives✨ The role of support in facing fear - why you can do it alone, but why having someone reflect your power back to you changes the game✨ A guided visualisation to connect with your highest, most powerful self - the version of you who's already grounded, free, and completely at home in her body💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/ 💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/ 💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/ 💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial 💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

In this incredibly powerful interview, I sit down with Amelia, who recovered from anorexia, severe OCD, and suicidal ideation after spending 7 years in the UK mental health system. She shares the brutal reality of inpatient treatment, being misdiagnosed, having her autonomy stripped away, and ultimately recovering completely on her own terms. Now 20 years old, she's travelling the world - something that would have been impossible in her eating disorder. This episode is essential for anyone stuck in the system, anyone told they'll never recover, and anyone who needs proof that full recovery IS possible.Key Quotes from the Episode:💬 "I was diagnosed with anorexia, but they blamed everything on the eating disorder. They were treating me with rigid rules and meal times that just fed straight into my OCD."💬 "I couldn't see my family for years. My mum didn't see me. The system tore us apart. I felt so alone."💬 "I had my treatment team deciding everything for me from age 12 to 19. What I ate, what I could do, whether I could work or go to school. I don't like being told what to do."💬 "I looked at someone in their 60s with anorexia and went, 'That really can't be me.' My determination led me to be like, if I'm not getting help from the people meant to help me, I'll do it my own way."💬 "One day I looked at my eating disorder breakfast and went, 'This is disgusting. I'm not doing this.' I made a video saying from today onwards, I'm eating exactly what I want. I've never gone back."What I Cover in This Episode:✨ Misdiagnosis and system failures - How being labelled with only anorexia meant Amelia's severe OCD wasn't treated, and how rigid meal plans fed her compulsions✨ Inpatient treatment reality - Restraints, being surrounded by competitive illness, weight-based rewards/punishments, and why it doesn't support actual recovery✨ Separation from family - How the system tore Amelia from her mum for years, causing isolation that made everything worse✨ Psychiatric units and being sectioned - The reality of being moved to adult psychiatric care, having phones confiscated, and being treated like a prisoner✨ OCD rituals consuming her life - Hundreds of daily routines taking hours, controlling every movement, making it impossible to participate in life✨ The turning point - Seeing an older woman with anorexia and deciding "that can't be me," then choosing to recover on her own terms✨ Work as a lifeline - How having a job gave Amelia purpose beyond being a patient, helping her want to live✨ Reconnecting with her mum - The emotional reunion after years apart, and how it showed her where she wanted to be✨ Leaving treatment on her own terms - Threatening to section her again, going to hospital willingly to prove she didn't need to be there, then moving into her first flat✨ Stopping OCD rituals - Literally sitting on the floor mid-routine, singing songs to interrupt compulsions, exhaustion being the catalyst for change✨ The decision to go all in - Making a video saying "I'm doing this," throwing away old clothes, eating 10,000+ calories daily without counting✨ Extreme hunger and body changes - The 34-week pregnant belly, sweating, swelling, and trusting the process whilst her body distributed weight✨ Coming off medication independently - Reducing antidepressants and antipsychotics herself (with mum's guidance) after years on them✨ Full recovery and freedom - Eating whatever she wants, forgetting to eat sometimes, having boobs and a bum for the first time, travelling the worldThis episode will give you hope that no matter how stuck you are, no matter how long you've been ill, no matter what the system says - full recovery IS possible when YOU decide.💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/ 💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/

Body Love Binge Solo Episode - But What About People in Very Large Bodies?In this powerful solo episode, I tackle the question that stops so many people from embracing unrestricted eating: "But what about people in very large bodies?" I address the fear, the stigma, the medical bias, and the truth about health at every size. This episode is essential for anyone who's terrified of weight gain, anyone living in a larger body, and anyone who's been told they're "too fat" to eat freely.Key Quotes from the Episode:💬 "Your body knows what it's doing. It's not fucking you over on purpose. It's not making you gain weight just to piss you off."💬 "Health is not a number on the scale. Health is having energy to do things you love, managing stress, moving joyfully, and living without constant food obsession."💬 "Your body is not the problem. The system that taught you to hate it is the problem."💬 "You cannot heal from restriction whilst restricting. There's no gentle way to starve yourself back to health."💬 "Recovery is available to you not despite your body size, but regardless of it. Your hunger deserves to be honoured now, not when you're smaller."What I Cover in This Episode:✨ Why "morbidly obese" is fear-based language - How medical terminology pathologises fat bodies and why health exists at every size✨ Set point weight explained - Why your body has a natural weight range where it functions optimally, and why that might be larger than you prefer✨ What restriction actually does to any size body - The metabolic, hormonal, and psychological damage that happens when you restrict✨ Why your body might overshoot in recovery - How metabolic damage, hormone balance, and trust-building can temporarily increase your weight✨ Fat as emotional protection - How your nervous system can use weight as a protective layer against past trauma, and why restriction won't override that✨ The extremely rare genetic exception - Congenital leptin deficiency and other genetic conditions that affect hunger regulation (and why you're almost certainly not the exception)✨ Living in a larger body right now - Practical adaptations, tools, and self-care that isn't about "fixing" your body but honouring it✨ The grief that needs to be witnessed - Mourning the body you wish you had whilst accepting and caring for the body you have✨ What health actually means - Why behaviours predict health outcomes far better than weight, and how restriction destroys health at any size✨ What recovery looks like in a larger body - Honouring hunger, stopping compensation, doing trauma work, practising neutrality, and giving it time✨ Weight as armour - Understanding how your body might be protecting you, and why healing the wounds underneath allows safe release✨ The truth about being "too far gone" - Why you're not the exception, why your metabolism isn't permanently damaged, and why recovery is available to youThis episode will challenge everything you've been taught about weight, health, and what your body "should" look like. It's time to stop punishing yourself and start trusting your body.💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/ 💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/ 💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/ 💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial 💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

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Body Love Binge Interview with Jessi Kneeland - Body Neutrality, Self-Objectification & The AvatarsIn this fascinating conversation, I sit down with Jessi Kneeland, body image coach and author of "Body Neutral." We dive deep into body neutrality vs body positivity, why we assign false significance to our bodies, the four body image avatars, and how self-objectification keeps us stuck seeing ourselves from the outside in. This episode is essential for anyone who's tired of trying to love how they look and wants actual freedom.Key Quotes from the Episode:💬 "Body neutrality is stripping the body of false or inflated significance, as opposed to trying to love how you look."💬 "We experience body image suffering when we've assigned our body a task, role, or purpose it can't fulfill."💬 "Women learn that their worth and value is based on making other people feel happy and comfortable - providing what others want rather than going after what they want."💬 "The first compliments little girls get are about how they look or how they're nice. Both are about other people experiencing you, not about you at all."💬 "If your body is the only thing that matters to a guy, that saved you so much time. Your dream person would never make you question your worth based on your size."What We Cover in This Episode:✨ Body neutrality vs body positivity - Why trying to love how you look isn't realistic for most people, and what actually works instead✨ The false significance we assign to bodies - How body image distress is different from preferences, and why some things have the power to ruin your day✨ Where we learn body obsession - How patriarchy, diet culture, and beauty ideals teach us that our worth is relative and based on attractiveness✨ The confirmation bias trap - Why your brain gathers massive evidence to prove you're unworthy whilst ignoring anything that contradicts it✨ Self-objectification and the male gaze - Learning to see ourselves from the outside in, and why women ask "will he like me?" instead of "will I like him?"✨ The four body image avatars - Self-objectifier, outsider, high achiever, and runner - and how each represents different root causes✨ Why being "average" feels like an insult - The high achiever's ranking spreadsheet and living in constant fear of being displaced✨ Attraction beyond appearance - How relationships are NOT based on objective ranking systems, and why pheromones matter more than abs✨ The exhausting strategy of trying to prevent rejection with your body - Why outsourcing tasks to your body that it can't accomplish keeps you obsessing forever✨ How Jessi lives in body neutrality - Having preferences without attachment, and why lack of attachment is the safest, kindest choice✨ Clothing as daily practice - Centring how you feel over how you look, and why "flattering" is the wrong goal✨ Age, ageing, and body image - How ageing out of beauty ideals creates unique identity and existential challengesThis episode will completely shift how you think about body image work - from trying to feel beautiful to simply stripping your body of the power to ruin your life.✨ Jessi's website: https://www.jessikneeland.com/ 💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/ 💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/ 💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/ 💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial 💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Laura Nagiel, a confidence and dating coach for high-achieving women. We dive deep into the difference between confidence and self-esteem, why control-oriented women struggle in dating, and how to step into your feminine energy without losing your strength. This episode is gold for anyone navigating relationships whilst healing their relationship with themselves.Key Quotes from the Episode:💬 "Confidence is built through action. Self-love and self-esteem is how we see ourselves, what we deep down believe we are worthy of."💬 "Your relationships are a mirror of your self-esteem at the time. If your relationships aren't improving as you're doing the work, you're not actually doing the work."💬 "If you're strong masculine and you want your man to also be strong masculine, it doesn't work. These magnets are pushing each other away."💬 "Feminine energy is creativity, fertility, ideas. It's making a home out of a house, creating good vibes. You don't have to be shy and quiet to be feminine."💬 "If your body is the only thing that matters to that guy, and so he leaves or you leave, that saved you so much time. Your dream man would never make you question your worth."What I Cover in This Episode:✨ The crucial difference between confidence and self-esteem - Why you can appear confident but still feel unworthy, and how this shows up in dating✨ The toxic relationship pattern - How low self-esteem creates a track record of narcissists and messy situations✨ Creating your vision before you date - The four categories to define what you want in a partner (and who you need to become)✨ Why Type A women struggle with dating - How being control-oriented, perfectionistic, and in your masculine energy repels the man you say you want✨ Masculine vs feminine energy in relationships - Understanding polarity and why "strong personality seeking stronger man" doesn't work✨ The misconception about feminine energy - It's not weakness, shyness, or diminishing your achievements - it's creativity, magnetism, and strength✨ How to ask for your needs without being controlling - The power of praise, gratitude, and inspiring rather than demanding✨ Navigating sex and intimacy with confidence - Using touch and body language instead of over-intellectualising everything✨ Body image in dating - Why authentic photos save you time, and how the right person loves your essence, not just your size✨ The second mode for high achievers - Creating feminine energy as an intentional way of being without losing your professional edge✨ Laura's guaranteed framework - How she helps clients find their person within six months by addressing root causesThis episode is essential listening for anyone who's recovered (or recovering) from an eating disorder and wants to date confidently, understand their worth, and attract a healthy relationship.💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/ 💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/ 💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/ 💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial 💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/🌹Read more about Laura’s signature DREAM Framework™️: https://resources.lauranagiel.com/dream-framework 🌹Connect with Laura on Instagram🌹Take Laura’s free dating audit to find out what’s holding you back in dating and 3 steps to fix it: https://lauranagiel.involve.me/audit

Body Love Binge Q&A with Julia - Fear, Fullness & Fat PhobiaIn this Q&A episode, Julia and I answer real questions from the Body Love Binge community. We dive into acting in alignment with your values, overcoming the "clean vs dirty" fullness association, panic zones in recovery, seeking external validation, and why guilt hits harder after eating.Key Quotes from the Episode:💬 "The word 'can't' is instantly slamming the door in your own face. You can. But what's the fear?"💬 "You can't notice when somebody else is empty or full from the outside. It's an internal game always."💬 "If you're in recovery from a restrictive eating disorder, the things your body needs is not fruit and vegetables - that's the hardest thing for your body to digest."💬 "Hurt people hurt people. But healed people heal people. Your healing can be the catalyst for your mum's healing."💬 "It's impossible to feel guilt and remorse whilst you're focused on gratitude and presence. You can't have both at the same time."What I Cover in This Episode:✨ Acting in alignment with your values when fear keeps stopping you - How to move from "I can't" to "I won't" and face the fear anyway✨ The "clean vs dirty" fullness trap - Reframing the story that empty equals clean and overcoming laxative abuse patterns✨ When everything puts you in panic zone - Practical tools for nervous system regulation when even small steps feel overwhelming✨ Calorie targets vs constant fullness - Why you might not actually be full, and how to get maximum calories in minimum volume✨ The fruit and veg trap in recovery - Why your body needs fat and dense foods, not "healthy" options right now✨ Seeking external validation from a fat-phobic mother - How to build self-acceptance when your worth was tied to body size✨ The inner child work with parental approval - Understanding your mum is trapped in her own cage of conditioning✨ Why guilt is worse after eating than during - The overthinking trap and how to eat and forget✨ Outsmarting the eating disorder voice - Julia's clever technique of predicting and crossing off ED thoughts✨ The ripple effect of your healing - How your recovery spreads and affects everyone around youThis episode is full of practical, no-BS advice for navigating the messy middle of recovery when fear, fullness, and family dynamics are getting in your way.💙 Join my FREE support group: https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/ 💙 Free trial group coaching: https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/ 💙 Work with me 1:1: https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/ 💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial 💙 Become a coach: https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/

In this powerful conversation, I sit down with teacher and mind-body guide Sam Miller to unpack why your symptoms aren’t the problem, they’re your body’s solution. We dig into repression, the shadow, nervous system myths, and how to actually allow emotions to complete so you can return to real regulation (without biohacks, force, or fixing).Sam's YT: https://www.youtube.com/@thegreatallowing What I Cover in This Episode:✨ Symptoms as the solution — Why anxiety, fatigue, pain, and ED behaviours are the healing process trying to complete, not enemies to fight✨ Repressed charge & the shadow — How unfelt fear/grief/anger get stored in the body and surface when you’re finally safe enough to feel✨ The “allowing” method — A simple, titrated way to meet sensations (not stories) and let the energy finish its arc✨ Breath that doesn’t backfire — When breathwork helps, when it overwhelms, and how to “be breathed” at the edge of resistance✨ Primary vs. secondary emotions — Spotting shame/anxiety as blockers so you can access the real thing underneath✨ Coping mechanisms with compassion — Why food rules, over-exercise, purging, biohacking & perfectionism were brilliant adaptations...until they weren’t✨ The nervous system reframe — Regulation isn’t something you do to yourself; it’s what happens when you stop resisting what wants to move✨ Integration matters — Why the sleepy, foggy “after” (tingles, yawns, warmth) is your system updating, not you “relapsing”✨ Identity, control & safety — Letting the costume fall away, meeting the fear of rejection/abandonment, and building inner safety as the adult self✨ ED specifics — Extreme hunger, purge urges, and the “runner’s high” explained through survival energy (plus what to do in the moment)Powerful quotes from the episode:💬 “Your symptoms are the healing process of a problem you didn’t know you had.”💬 “The body doesn’t need fixing, it needs allowing.”💬 “You can’t heal what you still believe is dangerous to feel.”💬 “Every coping mechanism was a brilliant adaptation… until it wasn’t.”💬 “Regulation isn’t achieved... it emerges when you stop fighting what wants to move.”This interview is perfect if you’ve lived in your head, tried to “manage” feelings with food/control, or feel scared you’ll be overwhelmed if you stop coping. You won’t. You’ll learn how to let your body finish what it started...safely.💙 Join my FREE support group: ⁠https://victoriakleinsman.com/free-support-group/ ⁠💙 Free trial group coaching: ⁠https://victoriakleinsman.com/coaching/ ⁠💙 Work with me 1:1: ⁠https://victoriakleinsman.com/1-1-coaching/ ⁠💙 Follow me on Instagram @victoriakleinsmanofficial 💙 Become a coach: ⁠https://victoriakleinsman.com/become-a-coach/