475. Coaching Hotline: Feeling Defensive v Accepting Feedback & How to Know When You've Coached Yourself Correctly

Have you ever been caring for someone you love and suddenly felt resentful, exhausted, or completely overwhelmed? And then immediately thought, “What kind of person feels this way?” In this episode, I talk about the emotional reality of caregiving, especially for those of us in the Sandwich Generation who are supporting aging parents while also raising kids, managing careers, and trying to hold our own lives together. You'll hear why caregiving guilt is so common and how socialization trains women to believe they should give endlessly without limits. I explore why the real problem isn’t the anger or resentment that can show up in caregiving, but the shame we pile on top of those emotions, and how shifting from either or thinking to both and can help you care for others without abandoning yourself in the process. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/476 Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Join me for 30 Days of Coaching Myself Through Everyday BSTo follow along, all you need to do is head on over to Instagram, @karaloewentheil, and click follow!

Does receiving feedback make you feel instantly defensive, embarrassed, or like you’ve done something terribly wrong?In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about how to handle criticism at work and how to know when you’ve coached yourself “correctly.” You’ll learn how to manage your mind around feedback, understand why feeling defensive is optional, and recognize that sometimes the answers you already have are the ones you need to keep practicing.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/475Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

What if one of the most important financial decisions you ever make isn’t about investing, saving, or budgeting... but about who you choose as your partner?In this episode, I’m joined by Vivian Tu, also known as Your Rich BFF, 2x New York Times bestselling author, and host of the podcast Networth and Chill. We discuss why money is not just about survival but about power, choice, and freedom. Vivian explains why women are often socialized to over compromise financially in relationships, how to adjust your mindset about money as a shared partnership decision, and why financial literacy is essential for protecting your future.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/474Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Learn more about Vivian Tu and her work here: yourrichbff.com and on Instagram instagram.com/your.richbffMentioned in this episode:Join me for 30 Days of Coaching Myself Through Everyday BSTo follow along, all you need to do is head on over to Instagram, @karaloewentheil, and click follow!

Does your brain love to tell you you're ugly, incapable, or untalented? What if it's right? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener’s question about those persistent negative thoughts that tell us we’re not good enough. You’ll discover why it doesn't actually matter if they are objectively true or not, and why intentionally deciding how you think about yourself does.I also answer a question about the concept of vibrations and energy, where a listener is struggling to understand how thought work connects with things like chemistry, energy healing, and even Reiki. Tune in to learn how to approach these concepts with clarity, and why your beliefs about them are just as powerful as any physical sensation.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/473Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Join me at the Ritz Paris on Saturday, March 28, from 3:30–5:30 p.m.While you enjoy a classic high tea, I will be joined by Master Coach Jenny Chammas, a top French women's leadership coach, to talk about how to tap into your confidence to achieve big goals in your life.After our conversation there will be plenty of time for Q&A, and at the end you'll also get to meet Cecilie Søndergaard Nielsen, an executive leadership coach for senior leaders and teams in high-pressure, high-growth environments.If you want to join, click here to grab your ticket: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/tea

I'm bringing you behind the scenes to give you a peek at how I coach myself on all the shit that comes up day to day. This is a 30-day series over on Instagram where you'll see me coach myself on everything from asking a mom to put headphones on her kid on the airplane to what to do when someone shows up at your door and asks for something that you don't want to give them.All you need to do is follow me on Instagram, instagram.com/karaloewentheil. See you there!

If you feel like the world is on fire and the only appropriate response is constant outrage, this conversation will stretch you in the best way. I talk with psychotherapist and author Margaret Cullen about equanimity, what it actually means, and why it is not the same thing as apathy or disengagement. We unpack the idea that you can care deeply, take action, and still refuse to live in a state of emotional melodrama.Margaret explains how equanimity helps you recover balance more quickly when you get hijacked by fear, anger, or despair. We connect this to nervous system regulation, the 24 hour news cycle, and the cultural pressure to prove you care by being constantly devastated. You'll walk away with concrete ways to engage in your personal and political life without burning yourself out or becoming what you are fighting against.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/472Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Learn more about Margaret Cullen's work at margaretcullen.comMentioned in this episode:Join me for 30 Days of Coaching Myself Through Everyday BSTo follow along, all you need to do is head on over to Instagram, @karaloewentheil, and click follow!

Have you ever tried to teach thought work to someone you love, only to have them completely reject it? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a question from a mom who wants her teenage son to benefit from thought work but keeps running into pushback. I explain why 15 is not too young to understand emotional processing, but it is old enough to resist being coached without permission.I also answer a question from a listener who is struggling with a long standing fear of heights that shows up intensely on tall bridges and airplanes. If you have ever felt frustrated that you logically know something is safe but still experience panic, this will resonate. You will learn how to stop escalating anxiety by resisting it, how to work with your thoughts about panic, and how acceptance becomes the foundation for real change. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/471Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you make decisions based on what you actually want, or based on what would make you feel the least guilty? In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down how guilt and shame quietly become the emotional compass guiding our everyday choices, from small obligations to major life decisions, and why that often leaves us exhausted, resentful, or stuck. I share how women in particular are socialized to treat guilt and shame like flashing moral warning signs, assuming that if we feel bad about not doing something, it must mean we should do it. I walk you through how to recalibrate your emotional compass so you can stop making decisions just to avoid feeling like a bad person.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/470Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/Mentioned in this episode:Join me for 30 Days of Coaching Myself Through Everyday BSTo follow along, all you need to do is head on over to Instagram, @karaloewentheil, and click follow!

Do social events drain you? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener's question about feeling exhausted at social events and why small talk often feels boring. I explore how your thoughts are creating that experience and why the key to enjoying social gatherings starts with shifting your mindset. I also tackle a question about feeling like you have no desire for sex, and how to work through the thoughts causing fear and anxiety around intimacy. Tune in to discover how thought work can transform your experience at social events and in your intimate relationships, helping you reclaim energy, connection, and confidence. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/469Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/