440. Self-Compassion Without Self-Pity (Confidence Compass Skill 2)

If you have big goals for 2026 but no idea what thoughts your brain actually needs to think to create them, this episode will give you a much clearer map. I’m breaking down the kinds of thought patterns that keep you stuck in body insecurity, imposter syndrome, dating frustration, family tension, or money anxiety and how to use the four Confidence Compass skills to shift those patterns for good. No matter what your goals are, you will hear at least one thought you can borrow and apply immediately to the area of your life you want to evolve next. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/446Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Join me to for Create More Confidence: A Pop-Up Coaching Program on December 8-10, 2025 here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/confident

In this Coaching Hotline episode, you'll hear two listener questions that will feel familiar if you have ever wondered why your new thoughts seem to “stop working” or why believing you can handle future challenges feels harder than it should. I break down what is really happening underneath that experience so you can see it with a lot more clarity. I also talk about the mental spiral that happens when someone else’s unmanaged mind feels irritating, and why that reaction is more revealing about your own thought patterns than you think. If you have ever felt stuck between what you know intellectually and what your brain insists on believing, this episode will show you how to shift that dynamic from the inside out. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/445Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

If you could become the fullest version of yourself, what would that even look like? After coaching thousands of women for nearly a decade, I can tell you this is the real question beneath every goal, every dream, and every moment of frustration. We all want self-actualization, but most of us stay stuck not because we lack ambition, but because we have never been taught the skill that makes self-actualization possible. In this episode, I explain why self-actualization has nothing to do with your circumstances, your upbringing, your bank account, or the state of the world. It comes from learning how to act on possibility instead of waiting for certainty. I teach you how to move your threshold for action from probable to possible, and why this shift is essential if you want to grow into your future self. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/444Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Join me to for Create More Confidence: A Pop-Up Coaching Program on December 8-10, 2025 here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/confident

What happens when you’re stuck between wanting more for yourself but not knowing how to get there? In this week’s Coaching Hotline, I dive into how to break free from the confusion and indecision that come with craving something bigger, but not knowing what that actually means for you. I also address the all-too-common habit of complaining and why we so often turn to others for validation, even when it doesn’t actually help us move forward. You’ll learn how to swap complaints for empowering thoughts and why trying out a “complaining diet” is a game-changer for shifting your mindset. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/443Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

We hear a lot about self esteem these days. Why it matters, how to get more of it, and what it means when you feel like you do not have enough. Most people think that improving their self esteem will automatically make them more confident, but to create real and lasting confidence, they are missing something essential: self belief. In this episode, I am breaking down the difference between the two and explaining why self belief is the skill that actually moves your life forward. You will also learn why your brain resists confidence in the first place and how to work through the fears that keep you playing small. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/442Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/ Join me to for Create More Confidence: A Pop-Up Coaching Program on December 8-10, 2025 here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/confident

Enroll now in Create More Confidence, happening on December 8-10, 2025. This mini coaching immersion is designed to: (1) help you vision your goals for 2026 and (2) zero in on which confidence skills you need to build to achieve them. Training calls take place at 12 p.m. ET each day.VIP calls take place at 1 p.m. ET each day.Click here to sign up: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/cmc

When you're building a business, raising a family, or navigating relationships, those uncomfortable feelings of inadequacy, jealousy or betrayal feel like roadblocks. But what if they're actually signposts pointing you toward exactly what you need to examine? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that dig into the messy, uncomfortable territory of growth. First, I'm sharing the specific thoughts that took me to the million-dollar mark by year three of my business. Then I'm answering a question from a listener who agreed to let her partner sleep with someone else and now feels consumed by regret and betrayal. Tune in to hear how the thoughts creating your biggest challenges often contain the seeds of your breakthrough. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/441Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you worry that if you practice self-compassion, you’ll stop getting things done or start letting yourself off the hook? This is a common fear, and it comes from confusing self-compassion with self-pity. In this episode, I’m teaching the second skill of the Confidence Compass: self-compassion. You’ll learn how self-pity, self-criticism, and self-compassion form a spectrum, and why real confidence comes from balancing self-awareness with empathy. I’ll show you how self-compassion allows you to meet yourself honestly and kindly while still taking responsibility for your growth and evolution. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/440Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Most of your thoughts are running on autopilot, shaping how you feel and act without you even realizing it. The good news is that you can learn to access those unconscious thoughts and bring them into your awareness, but only if you know how to look for them. This week, I’m answering two questions that get right to the heart of this work: how to uncover hidden thought patterns and how to stop feeling overwhelmed when you want to change everything at once. You’ll learn the simplest daily practice for making your unconscious thoughts visible, why confusion is your brain’s favorite form of procrastination, and how to get out of the “I have too much to fix” mindset that keeps you stuck. Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/439Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I thought I was deeply self-aware. I’d read the books, gone to therapy, and could explain all my patterns in perfect detail. But nothing was really changing. It wasn’t until I learned what self-awareness actually means and why understanding your story isn’t the same as understanding your mind that I finally started to experience change. In this episode, I’m teaching the first skill of the Confidence Compass: true self-awareness. You’ll learn why intellectual insight doesn’t create transformation and how to uncover the subconscious thoughts that are really driving your feelings and actions. I’ll share examples from my own life and my clients, from dating anxiety to money blocks, to show how powerful this shift can be. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/438Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/