333. How to never have an argument at work again, with Lawyer turned peacemaker, Doug Noll

Welcome back to Truth, Lies & Work, the award-winning workplace podcast where behavioural science meets workplace culture. This week, guest host Danny Wareham (organisational psychologist and author of Constellation Leadership: Reimagined for a Connected Age) joins Al and Leanne Elliott to break down the science of work, debunk popular workplace myths, and solve real listener dilemmas. 🔥 Stories covered Technostress and the Digital Mindfulness Scale Leanne shares new research from the University of Nottingham revealing the concept of "technostress" and how the Digital Mindfulness Scale measures intention, attention, and attitude to protect employees from exhaustion and burnout. Source: https://www.nottingham.ac.uk/news/mindful-use-of-digital-technology-could-reduce-workplace-burnout-study-finds Executive Instagram: How much should leaders share? Al explores the line between being human and being the boss on social media. Using Kelvin Kao’s article on the dangers of oversharing and the concept of "discerned disclosure," we look at how to build real trust with your team without dumping unprocessed stress on them. Source: https://www.channelnewsasia.com/today/voices/oversharing-boss-workplace-boundary-leadership-trust-social-media-6318726 🧠 Truth or Lie: Does returning to office actually improve collaboration? Danny Wareham dives into the research behind Return-To-Office pushes from companies like Amazon, Disney, and John Lewis. Does forcing people back to the desk genuinely drive teamwork, or is collaboration just an excuse for management control? Research mentioned:Brucks, M. S., & Levav, J. (2022). Virtual communication curbs creative idea generation. Nature, 605, 108–112. Bloom, N., Han, R., & Liang, J. (2024). Hybrid working from home improves retention without damaging performance. Nature, 630, 920–925. Yang, L., Holtz, D., Jaffe, S., et al. (2022). The effects of remote work on collaboration among information workers. Nature Human Behaviour, 6, 43–54. Schwenk, C. R. (1990). Effects of devil's advocacy and dialectical inquiry on decision making: A meta-analysis. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 47, 161–176. 💬 Workplace Surgery This week we answer three pressing workplace dilemmas: • My former nightmare boss now reports to me • I think I've become the bottleneck in my own team • Does culture really matter if people are doing a good job? More from Danny Wareham • Website: https://dannywareham.co.uk • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danny-wareham 📬 Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplines https://findahelpline.com

How you deliver news to your team has a huge impact on how they react. Whether it's bad news and you want to allay fears, or good news and you want everyone to be excited - the very best way to do this is with a story. In this episode, professional storyteller and Moth host Corey Rosen explains why the way you deliver information matters more than the information itself, and how a single story once saved a company from the inside out. Corey should know: his career started at Industrial Light & Magic, where he accidentally erased Harrison Ford's ear from a Star Wars film, before he went on to work on Jurassic Park, the Star Wars prequels, and Jim Henson Productions. Corey shares the moment his old boss, legendary stop-motion animator Phil Tippett, called an all-hands meeting everyone assumed meant layoffs, and instead told a story that changed the entire mood of the room. Al and Leanne dig into why bullet points make people forget, why stories make people remember, and exactly when a leader should reach for a story instead of just giving the answer. Key Takeaways: How You Deliver News Matters: The same information can create fear or buy-in depending on whether it's delivered as data or as a story. Lead Change With the Why: Before rolling out something new, start with the story behind the decision, not the announcement itself, so people come with you instead of resisting. Know When to Skip the Story: If someone just wants a status update, give them the status update. Save story for moments that need real understanding or buy-in. Facts Fade, Stories Stick: Information delivered as a story activates more of the brain and is far more likely to be remembered and repeated. Connect with Corey Rosen: – Website: https://www.yourstorywelltold.com – Book: A Story for Everything Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplines: https://findahelpline.com

Welcome back to Truth, Lies & Work, the award-winning workplace podcast where behavioural science meets workplace culture. This week on This Week in Work, we explore AI for mental health, annual leave trends, and progressive workplace policies, plus dive into sleep research and take on your workplace surgery questions. 🔥 Stories covered AI for Overthinkers Psychologists in Berlin have launched Mindflex, a psychological AI designed around Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to support the 73% of young adults who overthink. Is an AI companion reaching out to check on you a breakthrough or a threat to real human connection? Source: https://www.einpresswire.com/article/939689893/berlin-psychologists-launch-mindflex-a-psychological-ai-for-the-73-percent-of-young-adults-who-overthink The "Holiday Hoarding" Crisis With half of UK workers failing to use their full holiday entitlement due to job insecurity and workload pressure, holiday hoarding is driving massive year-end burnout. We explore why leaders need to evaluate performance based on output rather than hours logged. Source: https://www.fastcompany.com/91589261/holiday-hoarding-is-a-workplace-crisis Gail’s Menopause Action Plan Ahead of upcoming UK employment legislation, Gail’s Bakery is breaking workplace taboos by introducing menopause action plans and 24/7 digital GP access for employees across its 200 locations. Source: https://www.thetimes.com/business/companies-markets/article/gails-menopause-plan-djlnj706k 🧠 Truth or Lie: Can You Bank Sleep? Can you deposit extra hours of sleep before a hectic week or long trip and withdraw them when you need them? Leanne breaks down the science—from 2009 US Army studies to new research challenging the piggy bank model. Sleep research sources: https://sleepdebtcalc.com/blog/can-you-bank-sleep-before-a-busy-week https://sleepdebtcalc.com/blog/weekend-sleep-catchup Klerman, E. B., Banks, S., & Roenneberg, T. (2025). Con: sleep is a credit card, not a piggy bank. SLEEPJ, 48(12), zsaf251. Thompson, M. A., Jones, C. B., & Thornburg, C. J. (2017). Sleep banking. Mil Rev, 97(1), 91-97. 💬 Workplace Surgery This week we answer three listener questions: "I manage a fully remote team and I’m struggling with something I never really had in an office. I can see whether work gets delivered, but I can’t easily tell who’s overloaded, who’s coasting, or who might quietly be struggling. How do you get proper visibility of a remote team without turning into a micromanager?" "I run a growing business and I’ve started noticing signs that some people are stretched. How do you work out whether burnout is an individual issue or a business design problem?" "A guy on my team has been blocking out a couple of hours every afternoon with fake meetings because whenever he puts 'focus time' in his calendar, people book over it. My manager has now asked me which client he keeps meeting with. Do I tell my manager what’s going on?" 📬 Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplines https://findahelpline.com

Can you really go through the rest of your life without ever getting into another fight or argument? n this episode, trial lawyer turned professional peacemaker Doug Noll explains how "affect labeling" and nervous system leadership can de-escalate even the most explosive conflict - from maximum-security prisons to corporate boardrooms. Doug shares the fascinating neuroscience behind why conventional active listening fails, how to calm a dysregulated brain in 90 seconds, and why empathy is a critical leadership capability rather than a "soft skill." Key Takeaways: Nervous System Leadership: Conflicts worsen when leaders fail to realize they are managing dysregulated threat responses rather than rational actors. The 90-Second Rule: Naming someone's underlying emotions directly ("You are angry," "You feel disrespected") activates the prefrontal cortex and calms negative emotional centers in under 90 seconds. Avoid "I" Statements & Questions: Asking questions or using "I" statements forces an escalated person to use their prefrontal cortex, which is temporarily offline, leading to further frustration. The Three Core Questions: Every nervous system constantly asks: Am I safe? Can I trust you? Do I matter to you? Connect with Doug Noll: – Website: https://dougnoll.com – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dougnoll – Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dougnoll – X (Twitter): https://x.com/dougnoll – TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dougnoll – YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DouglasENoll Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplines: https://findahelpline.com

Welcome back to Truth, Lies & Work, the award-winning workplace podcast where behavioural science meets workplace culture, brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. Every New Year's Eve, hosts Al and Leanne make bold, confident predictions about what the next year of work will look like. Some are rooted in occupational psychology, some in business experience, and some... are just Al getting carried away. In this special Summer Sessions episode, we dig through four years of predictions from 2023 through 2026 for a brutally honest, self-deprecating review of our past calls. From the rapid rise of AI agents and skills-based hiring to the over-hyped promises of AI burnout prediction and corporate transparency, find out who actually holds the ultimate workplace crystal ball. 🔥 What We Covered 2023 Predictions: Skills-based hiring vs. degree requirements, ChatGPT as a personal workplace coach, and the permanent shift to hybrid working. 2024 Predictions: Employee retention strategies, corporate transparency fails, and why AI missed the mark on predicting workplace burnout. 2025 Predictions: Why empathy became the defining AI-era leadership skill, the explosion of autonomous AI agents, and personalized financial wellbeing. 2026 Halfway Progress Report: Are human-centric skills becoming more valuable? Is AI fading into invisible infrastructure? And how are we measuring outcome-based productivity? 💡 Key Takeaways Skills Over Degrees: Leanne accurately called the shift to competency-based, skills-first hiring as employers moved away from rigid qualification requirements. AI as a Thinking Partner: Employees routinely use generative AI as a personal sounding board for difficult workplace conversations and leadership prep. The Burnout Miss: AI was heavily leveraged for workplace productivity, meeting summaries, and administrative tasks—not for predicting employee burnout or monitoring mental health. Agentic AI Arrives: Workflows shifted rapidly from basic AI prompt-writing to autonomous AI agents acting as digital colleagues. Human Skills Matter Most: As routine tasks automate, empathy, judgment, ethics, and emotional intelligence have become the ultimate leadership differentiators. 📬 Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplines https://findahelpline.com

This week, we are taking a short break from our usual format for a Summer Sessions feed drop. We are sharing a special episode from Unbehaved, where host Meghan French Dunbar turns the tables and interviews us! We dive deep into how we met during an overnight shift volunteering at the Samaritans, the real story behind building the UK's number one management podcast, and how to stop making decisions based on what other people think. We also discuss why we decided to leave traditional career paths behind to become digital nomads, how we navigate working together as a married couple, and our take on the latest workplace trends like AI fears and shifting DEI dynamics. Check out Unbehaved: Find Unbehaved on your favorite podcast app or visit https://www.meghanfrenchdunbar.com/podcast Connect with Meghan French Dunbar on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meghanfrenchdunbar/ Content Warning: This episode opens with a discussion about a call regarding a suicide in progress from our time volunteering at the Samaritans. If you prefer to skip this section, fast-forward to around the six-minute mark. 📬 Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplines https://findahelpline.com 🎧 Truth, Lies & Work is part of the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals.

Ever wondered what really goes on behind the closed doors of an HR office? In this Summer Session episode, Al and Leanne open up the anonymous HR filing cabinet—and it gets wildly unhinged. We're joined by viral content creator, HR consultant, and founder of Be Unstoppable, Emma Djemil. We dive into the hilarious reality behind her viral HR house tracks and parody videos that have taken the HR community by storm. Then, Emma joins Al and Leanne for a round of raw, anonymous HR Confessions sourced straight from the depths of Reddit and online forums. From employees peeing out of car windows and a 7-hour bathroom standoff, no topic is off-limits. Expect cringing, laughing, and a lot of 'inappropriate behaviour'! 🔥 Episode Highlights & Confessions Covered Emma Djemil's Viral HR Tracks: How parody videos turned HR pain points into viral house tracks, and why comedy is the ultimate antidote for workplace stress. The Parking Lot Incident: The physics, the shock, and the tattoo identification behind an employee using her car window as a restroom. The 7-Hour Bathroom Standoff: A wild story of drug testing, bathroom floor meals, and complete benefit confusion. Speed Round Shockers: Masturbation in cubicles, golf course "working from home," and pants-changing protocol. 👤 Connect with Emma Djemil & Be Unstoppable LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/be-unstoppable/ Website: https://thehrbigmeet.com Email: [email protected] 📬 Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplineshttps://findahelpline.com Truth, Lies and Work is brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals.

Is Burnout an Individual or Organisational Problem? (Feed Drop: Fried: The Burnout Podcast) In this special summer feed drop, we’re taking a short break from our regular format to bring you a conversation from a show we genuinely love and listen to: Fried: The Burnout Podcast, hosted by the brilliant Cait Donovan! In this episode, Cait puts our very own Chartered Occupational Psychologist, Leanne Elliott, in the hot seat. They dive deep into the messy, nuanced reality of workplace culture, systemic stress, and employee wellbeing. Cait doesn't let Leanne off lightly, challenging her on everything from the validity of psychometric tests to where manager training fails and where individual responsibility ends and organizational responsibility begins. If you’ve ever wondered why workplace stress persists despite wellness initiatives, or how we can build truly supportive work environments, this honest, no-bullshit discussion is for you. 🎙 Key Takeaways The System vs. The Individual: Burnout isn't just about an individual's resilience or biology, nor is it purely an organizational failure. Sustainable workplace mental health requires looking at both the person and the system they operate in. Middle Managers Are Set Up to Fail: Managers have the single biggest impact on employee engagement and mental health, yet over 90% of new managers receive zero formal training. We must equip leaders with prosocial skills, empathy, and listening tools. Culture is Defined by What You Tolerate: From micro-incivilities to vague role expectations, toxicity often starts in subtle daily behaviors. True psychological safety means creating an environment where friction can be addressed safely before it turns toxic. 🕒 Timestamps & Chapter Markers 00:00 – Introduction: Welcome to Truth, Lies & Work & Feed Drop Announcement 02:00 – Leanne Joins Fried: Being Real on LinkedIn & Ethical Gray Zones 08:00 – Occupational Psychology vs. Medical Science in Burnout Research 10:30 – Diagnosing Workplace Culture & Psychosocial Risk Factors 15:30 – Psychosocial Risks vs. Culture: Which Comes First? 21:00 – "Right Parcel, Wrong Address": Bad Fit vs. True Workplace Toxicity 24:30 – Recognizing Subtle Incivility & Emotional Manipulation at Work 31:00 – Generational Myths vs. Managing Early-Career Employees 38:00 – The Middle Manager Crisis: Why 92% of Managers Are Unprepared 48:00 – Constructive Conflict, Self-Reflection, and Building Awareness 56:30 – Wrap-up & 3 Key Takeaways from Al & Leanne 🔗 Connect with Cait Donovan & Fried: The Burnout Podcast To learn more about Cait's corporate workshops, keynote speaking, and her mission to eradicate chronic stress, visit her website or connect with her on social media. Don't forget to listen to Leanne's guest appearance on Fried: The Burnout Podcast this week! Listen to Fried: The Burnout Podcast: https://caitdonovan.com/podcast Website: https://www.caitdonovan.com BurnBold Website: https://www.burnbold.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caitdonovanspeaks LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/caitdonovan 📬 Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplines: https://findahelpline.com

Are workplace dilemmas ever really black and white? Welcome back to another Summer Session of Truth, Lies & Work! For this episode, Al and Leanne are ditching the traditional workplace news to tackle some of the internet's most controversial, outrageous, and downright petty workplace dilemmas—Am I the Arsehole? style. Joining the panel is organisational psychologist and friend of the show, Dr. Jake Tuber. Together, they dissect real-life workplace conflicts to decide who is in the right, who is in the wrong, and who was completely out of order. ⚖️ The Dilemmas on Trial Today: The $1,800 Stolen Chair: What happens when a colleague steals your high-end office chair, your boss tells you "first-come, first-served," and the police get involved? The Tragic Firing: Is a company justified in firing a 22-year-old employee whose performance dropped right after losing both parents in a tragic accident? The Public Ultimatum: What should happen when an employee bypasses their line manager to escalate an issue publicly to senior executive leadership? Whether you're listening on your morning commute or relaxing by the pool, play along and see if you agree with the verdicts! 🤝 Connect with Dr. Jake Tuber LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaketuber/ Website: http://www.ticonadvisory.com Podcast: https://www.ticonadvisory.com/podcast 🎁 Special Offer: Get 6 months of free access to Jake's Substack, Workwise: https://workwise.substack.com/subscribe?coupon=1e481d0b 📬 Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplines https://findahelpline.com

Welcome back to Truth, Lies & Work, the award-winning workplace podcast where behavioural science meets workplace culture, brought to you by the HubSpot Podcast Network, the audio destination for business professionals. When was the last time you came back from a holiday genuinely refreshed? For many leaders, managers, and high-achieving professionals, summer isn't relaxing. You spend weeks clearing your inbox before you leave, spend your holiday feeling guilty for not working, check your emails "just in case", and come back to an overflowing inbox needing another break. So why is switching off so difficult? In this episode, hosts Al and Leanne are joined by Dr. Rachel Morris, former GP, keynote speaker, and host of the You Are Not A Frog podcast. Together, they explore why high achievers struggle to rest, how summer can inadvertently trigger burnout, and 5 practical strategies to genuinely recharge before September. 💡 What You'll Learn in This Episode The "Responsibility Trap": Why conscientious professionals struggle to unplug. The Pre-Holiday Firefight: Why working double time before taking leave backfires. Rest vs. Guilt: How to reframe the guilt you feel when stepping away from work. 5 Practical Recovery Tips: Actionable ways to protect your energy and return to work genuinely refreshed. 📌 Dr Rachel Morris's 5 Tips to Switch Off Book your recovery in before anything else Get clear on what’s in your control in the summer Stop rescuing other people Expect the guilt and use it as evidence You don’t need to earn your rest 🔗 Links & Resources Self-Assessment Resource: Download the Am I Stressed, Overwhelmed or Burned Out PDF Self Assessment Toolkit: https://youarenotafrog.com/toolkit/ Connect with Dr Rachel Morris: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-rachel-morris Listen to You Are Not a Frog Podcast: ⁠https://youarenotafrog.com/about/ 📬 Connect with Al & Leanne – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/truthlieswork – Al Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thisisalelliott – Leanne Elliott: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meetleanne – Email: [email protected] – Book a call: https://savvycal.com/meetleanne/chat Mental health support UK & ROI — Samaritans Call 116 123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org UK — Mind Call 0300 123 3393 or visit https://www.mind.org.uk US — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org Australia — Lifeline Call 13 11 14 or visit https://www.lifeline.org.au Global helplines https://findahelpline.com