Thotline 7.5: Juan Missed Call!

Young man! Your presence is requested in the Headmaster's office. And trust me-- you DON'T want to find out how he got THAT name... Love is in the air in the Thot Topics Studio tonight as the girls issue a transmission from the eve of Nick's wedding! We don't want to scare anyone, but it's time to bring out the big, big, big, big, big, balloons. Naturally there IS business to attend to. We discuss SOPHIE's posthumous "album," Katy Perry's 143 as if there's anything to even say, and Lady Gaga's theater kid humiliation ritual Harlequin. More is on the docket, including Lana Del Rey's surprise wedding, The Substance, Megalopolis, and sooooo much more. Lock and load, ladies! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Call us Megatron on Patreon.

Happy LUBEor Day You Patriotic SLUTS 💦💦💦😫 From the twisted mind of THOT TOPICS comes an all-new episode full of juicy, scrumptious goodness for ya nerve. EAT IT UP MAMA! We're back to business for the first time in a while so we do a little bit of girly catchup. Are we doing more than flirting with sobriety at this point? Who's gonna make the first move? Us? Or that tasty tasty MOCKTAIL? We recap Nick's bachelor party and ponder what it means to be a party girl in heart, but not in liver... Then, we move on to the subject on everyone's lips: FAT GAY EIGHT YEAR OLDS. Who's got em? Who wants em? Is it okay to call them disgusting and shameful pigs? We investigate the gay guy selfie trend that has sent Twitter into a little spazout. Then, we issue a formal prognosis on the Katy Perry situation following her response to The Dr. Luke Question. What's REALLY going on behind the scenes at Katy Perry headquarters? What would she have to do to turn this ship around? MUCH is revealed-- including our breasts, of course. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. GET 20% OFF ANY PURCHASE OR 48% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION OF THEE ONLY PRODUCTIVITY SHOT APPROVED BY THOT TOPICS, MAGIC MIND! GO TO MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20 AND USE THE CODE 'THOTPOD20' FOR YOUR XXXCLUSIVE DISCOUNT.

Calling all birdwatchers! Are you watchin' these birds?!?!? This week, we join forces in the Plus Size Creator's Autonomous Zone against the powers that be: hater ass faggots in the Patreon exit surveys. Once that demon is purged from our spirit, it's down to business as usual. We take Raggedy Chappell to task over her complaints on TikTok about fans asking her for pictures. Is she cooked, or does she have a chance? Why is TikTok incompatible with pop stardom? Is privacy cringe? Or are gay guys the cringe ones? ALL will be revealed in the fullness of time... But that's not all: we take a look at the recent study of the least attractive male hobbies, according to women. From vidya to trolling online, we psychoanalyze all parties to uncover the troof-- and nothing but the troof. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. For more low-effort content riddled with technical issues, throw the girls a freakin' bone on Patreon. GET INTO YR FLOW STATE WITH MAGIC MIND! ✨🧠 GET 20% OFF ANY SINGLE ORDER, OR 48% OFF A SUBSCRIPTION AT MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20 USING PROMO CODE THOTPOD20. XO

We're back in the lounge to resolve more critical issues in the Thot Topics Jewniverse! We receive emergency transmissions from our beloved homosexual and female (and STRAIGHT MALE) listeners on matters of life, love, and the pursuit of pussyliciousness. What's on the menu, you ask? We discuss how to stave off BPD attachment tendencies, how to respectfully tell someone you no longer want to have sex with them, and whether it's worth it to live with your parents to get your coins up. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Get on our freakin' party line on Patreon.

**PATRONS ONLY** Subscribe now at patreon.com/thottopics. Long time no talk, loca! What's it been giving girlfriend?! This week, we've opened the gilded gates of the Thot Topics Golfing Greens and Garden for the unwashed masses to speak directly to the girls. That's right bitch: for the first time since December, it's time for EVERYONE to get in on the girl's chat with a special hotline episode! And ohhhh boy, did our precious gay and gay-adjacent listeners deliver! We discuss everything under the sun, from being obsessed with foreskin to your in-laws making you an offer you can't refuse-- it's a wild ride from start to finish! But that's not all-- we also have a private girls conference on body-ody-ody image and being a lawyer for the hawk. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Call us beep us if you wanna reach us on Patreon.

Bruh. BRUHHHHH. I don't know what the fuck is in the water this week but like 20 minutes of this episode somehow deleted itself. Should I kill myself? MAYBE!!! Anyway, MOST of an episode is here and I'm praying things will be back to normal this week lmfao. Here's what we got into: KAMALA 2024, the pressures of talking to teens when you feel like a teen inside, if it's a big deal that Gen Z and Gen Alpha can't read, and MORE! I'd keep writing but we recorded this so long ago I honestly don't remember... LOVE YOU Get 46% off a subscription to Magic Mind Mental Performance SHOTZ at magicmind.com/thotpod20. Or, get 20% off any purchase on their site with the code THOTPOD20. God bless America, and god bless MAGIC MIND! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Throw a bitch a fucking bone on Patreon. We need the spiritual uplift.

You've stumbled into the Katy Perry Apologists Anonymous meeting. Please find a seat and be prepared to share your story. Refreshments have been provided and are available on the far wall. May we see your peacock? This week is a really special one. Just honestly what the fuck guys. First, we unpack our fourth of july weekend for all its worth. These are NOT our cookies officer! Then, we review the brand new Katy Perry single "Woman's World," and wonder if Katy Perry knew that women are allowed to have jobs. We issue a formal prognosis for the 143 era and it's not looking great. Last but certainly not least, we discuss Matt Bomer's beautiful family and whether it's heteronormative to have children-- whatever the HELL that means. We break new ground on a WELL-worn topic and there's much to enjoy. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. They really CAN all be California Gurls on Patreon.

Na na na na.... na na naaa na... hey, hey, hey... gay priiiiiiiide Strap in (or on!) for the unique and incomparable stylings of THOT TOPICS! This week, we're in rare form to discuss all manner of gay guy bullshit happening on the timeline-- we're really playing the hits on this one. Thank you to all of the brain damaged middle aged homos who contributed their valuable thoughts! The table is piled high with crucial documents of pride month behavior. First, we discuss the 17 year old insisting that he does not want attention online and being called a pedophile for saying so. Then, we talk about whether or not it's worth it to spend $300 a month on an Equinox membership and what gay guys REALLY mean when they say "networking." Of course, we had to discuss the guy whose boyfriend didn't let him top for 2 and a half years because he wasn't "daddy enough." You guys were really acting up LOL!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. You know you were hella wrong for what you did on Patreon. ** WE ARE BACK IN BEESWAX WITH MAGIC MIND! For 20% off your first order of their mental performance shots at magicmind.com/thotpod20 or use the code THOTPOD20 at checkout. (Or for 48% off your first subscription order.) Godspeed!

Sometimes, the people who laugh the most, cry inside the hardest... they also have the biggest jiggliest boobs. 😥 RT if you cried Welcome to the Thot Topics podcast official Pride Month kickoff where we ask the question on everybody's lips (both sets!): Are YOU proud to be gay? We try our hand at "questions to ask an LGBT panelist", but before we do that, we air a few grievances around GETTING OLD and ALCOHOL AS A SOCIAL LUBRICANT. We're sipping from the fountain of youth this week y'all-- we advise you to throw on a two-piece and soak it up! We were both really tired and had a piece of shit week but hopefully you find some sisterhood hidden in this profound and meaningful Girls Chat... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. 

Has anyone even TOLD you about our new weekly bonus show for paying sisters? ON SECOND THOT is our sexy little aftershow where put our hair in a pony, get cozy, and let the real freak shit fly. Each week, we select our definitive SLAYS OF THE DAY, FREAKS OF THE WEEK, and last but not least, discuss how God tested us over the last seven days. You too can enjoy these vital conversations on Patreon at patreon.com/thottopics for only 4 dollars a month-- PLUS the standard premium-only episode every other week. Here's just a little taste... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo.