Gargarden of Eden!

What I did, or what I do? That is the question. Whether tis nobler to know what you are talmbout, or to take arms against a sea of knowing you were hella wrong for what you did... Happy birthday America! Hold on to the feather in your cap and you betta call that thing macaroni because the real patriots have finally arrived. THIS WEEK, Nick undergoes an endurance test, zooming through a list of TikTok phenomena that Cris suspects Nick has never heard of. But that's not all: a discussion on lite beer, boats, the current season of Love Island USA, and oh so much more. We're about to pop these firecrackers-- where the police at!? Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Open a tax-exempt Thot Topics savings account on Patreon.

PARENTS BEWARE! Teens are communicating secret messages via text message through acronyms you may not be aware of. Stay informed! PTB = Pump The Beat. PBP = Period Bitch, Period. PP = Pink Pantheress Thank you for tuning in for a very special Pride Month Thotline! This time, we've accepted questions that made us gay (as in happy) from our cherished audience of homosexuals and women. We breach brand new territory this time: how to deal with freeloaders, how to stay sane with a work from home job, and yes... we take a monogamy question. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Thot Topics merch is restocked now on the webstore! Get on our party line on Patreon-- $5/month gets you a bonus episode every week!

Ladies I gotta be honest this one was a fight to the finish line even off a couple cawktails... but we do it for YOU: the people. Where to even begin? Nothing happened to anyone on the entire planet this week so we decided to do what dreamers do best: look n word. *INWARD. Sorry, INWARD... Anyway, we pose the question that's been weighing heavy on our spirit and even heavier on our breasts: how many drinks do you consider to be a lot of drinks? What's the REAL tea when it comes to managing the party girl lifestyle? But that's not all: graduations, weddings, funerals, buying plane tickets on your laptop. So much is discussed it's impossible to capture the spirit in a measly episode description. You'll just have to find out, won't you fatty? TRY BROTEGE RETINOL SPF MOISTURIZER COURTESY OF THOT TOPICS! VISIT BROTEGE.COM/THOT AND USE PROMO CODE 'THOT' FOR 40% OFF YOUR ORDER. OR, IF YOU'RE A PATRON, BE ONE OF THE FIRST 5 TO COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE 'SO CREAMY' AND WE'LL SEND YOU A 100% OFF + FREE SHIPPING CODE TO TRY IT COMPLETELY FOR FREE! JUST ENTER THE CODE WE DM YOU AT BROTEGE.COM/THOT. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Buy a girl a fuckin' drink first on Patreon.

Why it gotta be Black Dandy? HA! Oh... oh, because it's called that? Because it's about black guys who like fashion? Huh... alright. Can I get you another cocktail sir? WELCOME back to the Thot Topics red carpet coverage zone sponsored by E! News. This week, we review the many special outfits at the 2025 Met Gala and uh... we've seen better! Follow along with us with the Vogue list. There's certainly more where that came from though hunny. Take a seat because this is gonna be a rough one... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Keep Doechii off the carpet in 2026 on Patreon.

You've heard of kissing cousins... now get ready for dick-sucking cousins! No one ever said podcasting would be easy-- luckily, we are more than up to the task, even in sweltering fucking HOT 70 degree weather in our beautiful city, baby. Let's get down to business! First, we check in on the inaugural round of the THOT TOPICS MUSIC LEAGUE (Join here!), shouting out our favorites and... others.... THEN, we discuss the reveal of the debut FKA Addison Rae album. But gosh darnit, you know that's not all. We discuss Kanye sucking his cousin's PP and writing a song about it, and get into the reveal of the new Drag Race "All" "Stars" cast.... ughhhhhhhhhhhHHHHH Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. You're our sister by birth-- become a patron by choice.

Spotify is trying to punish us for being too beautiful and talented for their platform, so join us on PATREON! For $5/month, you get TWO episodes every single freaking week, including this: ON SECOND THOT, our aftershow where we are allowed to get a lil more personal wit it. We'll keep attempting to upload to the free feed in the meantime, but guarantee xxxclusive access below... Don't wait, join the sisterhood NOW: patreon.com/thottopics

Piper? How'd she get THAT name... WELCOME... 2 OUR ISLAND! Thot TOPICS Island. Pon de beach, the girls take a vacation from cognitive functioning and basic logic skills: just for you. Lotion up sisters because surf is motherfucking UP! This week, we discuss the finale of THE WHITE LOTUS-- the who, the what, the where, and most of all the WHY? Speak no evil girl... I better not hear no evil... THEN, we run out of things to talk about so we have a classic Womens' Business Seminar, covering all sorts of subjects: Pink Pony Club, us getting banned from Spotify, side hustles, psychoANALySIS, and more. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Be a pleaser on Patreon.

Happy birthday Irish people! Welcome to the St. Patrick's Day celebration brought to you by Thot Topics. Recorded in the moments before disaster, the girls center themselves with a vital discussion on LA MUSICA de Lady Gaga, Chappell Roan, and so much mas. But that's not all-- we uncork The Poppers Question and get to sniffin'. Do poppers deserve to be banned? Are they lowkey safe and totally fine? We do some investigative reporting at the scene of the crime: DOUBLE SCORPIO, Incorporated... Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Help fight for huffers' rights on Patreon. TRY MAGIC MIND GUMMIES! 25% OFF YOUR ORDER AT MAGICMIND.COM/NICKGM using the code NICKGM. TELL US HOW U LIKE EM!

You already know what time it is... Screamin' for me baby!! Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Try Magic Mind's brand new mental performance GUMMIES! 25% off for Thot Topics sisters at magicmind.com/NICKGM using promo code NICKGM.

Chudai give up... or chudai just keep chasin' pavements... Welcome back to the Thot Topics Center for Controlling It, where this week we'll be working hard in the lab to bring America the truth and nothing BUT the truth. Check it! This week, we answer a few of our patrons' most pressing questions, but not before we address some quandaries of our own. How do reservations work? (Reservoir?) Do any beauty products actually work? Should McDonald's go fully automatic? MANY issues are settled for good. TRY MAGIC MIND! GO TO MAGICMIND.COM/THOTPOD20 AND USE PROMO CODE 'THOTPOD20' FOR 20% OFF ANY SINGLE PURCHASE, OR 48% OFF ANY SUBSCRIPTION. Follow the girls on Twitter @VLRTUALBOY and @YOURE2BASIC, and the official pod Insta @th0tstarsxo. Chud you subscribe on Patreon? We think you chud. x