474. The Uncomfortable Questions That Could Save Your Key Relationships

The second Friday in January is “Quitters’ Day,” according to Strava, a company that helps people track their fitness goals. That’s because most people’s New Year’s resolutions grind to a halt around that time. You can avoid this trap for all your goals. Jay explains how in this episode. First, Jay outlines the common mistakes people make when goal setting and how to identify them in your own process. Then, Jay dives into the “first domino” concept, explaining how to pick your optimal keystone habit. Don’t underestimate the power of small habits to do extraordinary things in your life.   Challenge of the Week:  Look at your number one goal for 2025, Identify your first domino, and then try to make that a habit. If you have to get out your calendar like Jerry Seinfeld and put an X, we have it on the website. Go to the1thing.com/free-resources, download your calendar, and start building that habit around your first domino. If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. *** Boost your language skills fast. Want to learn a new language but tired of the same old boring apps? Check out Lingoda. Lingoda provides real live classes with actual teachers, 24/7. Yes, 24/7. So whether you’re an early riser or a night owl, you can fit language learning into your busy schedule. Here’s the best part: Lingoda is extending their biggest sale of the year! You can save up to 50%! Visit try.lingoda.com/onething and use the code 50ONETHING at checkout. This exclusive offer ends on December 21st, so don’t wait!  *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Common mistakes people make when goal-setting How to identify your keystone habit Why it’s ok to let go of habits that don’t work for you Links & Tools from This Episode: Get your free habit calendar on The ONE Thing Free Resources page. Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

December is chaotic. The kids are out of school. Family is visiting, or you're traveling. There are parties you should go to and gifts you should buy. Don't forget the holiday cards! If ever there was a season for The ONE Thing, 'tis the season. Jay and his personal coach, Jordan Freed, spend this episode giving you the tools you need to have a meaningful, calm(ish) holiday season. They walk you through how to use your imagination to gain clarity, identify the things you can't control, and stay on track with at least one positive habit. Our hope is you make this a holiday season that you'll look back on with joy.  Challenge of the Week: Don't Pause the Positive Identify one positive habit you already practice and commit to maintaining it throughout the holiday season. It could be taking 10,000 steps/day, drinking a set amount of water, or sticking to another simple, achievable habit. If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. *** Boost your language skills fast. Want to learn a new language but tired of the same old boring apps? Check out Lingoda. Lingoda provides real live classes with actual teachers, 24/7. Yes, 24/7. So whether you’re an early riser or a night owl, you can fit language learning into your busy schedule. Start your 7-day free trial today! Use my promo code ONETHING50 to get up to 50% off. Visit try.lingoda.com/OnethingPod now and discover why Lingoda is your perfect language partner. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Sticking to at least one positive habit during the holiday season Using your imagination to achieve clarity Pausing to identify if you’re trying to control an uncontrollable Links & Tools from This Episode: Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA

Here at The ONE Thing, we’re all about helping people be successful. Most folks would assume we value serial high achievement, but we don’t. In this episode, we take a look at when achievement becomes an addiction and why it isn’t the same thing as success. Kim Zuroff, our Director of Growth at The ONE Thing, is our guest. She dominated Ironman Triathlons, climbed Kilimanjaro, and raced up the career ladder until she realized she wasn’t living the life she wanted. We break down exactly how she pivoted to a more fulfilling and still successful life. You aren’t your achievements. If that statement makes you uncomfortable, lean into this episode and hear us out. Challenge of the Week: Pull out a pen and a piece of paper. Journal answers to a few questions. Think about your goals. Are your decisions moving you toward or away from where you want to be? Also, think about who else in your life is being impacted by the decisions that you’re making. If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. *** Boost your language skills fast. Want to learn a new language but tired of the same old boring apps? Check out Lingoda. Lingoda provides real live classes with actual teachers, 24/7. Yes, 24/7. So whether you’re an early riser or a night owl, you can fit language learning into your busy schedule. Start your 7-day free trial today! Use my promo code ONETHING50 to get up to 50% off. Visit try.lingoda.com/OnethingPod now and discover why Lingoda is your perfect language partner. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: How achievement can be an addiction Using the “someday letter” tool Finding calm energy Links & Tools from This Episode: Read “The Gap and The Gain” Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA Media

Captain Daryle Cardone has 5,000 sailors entrusted to him, many of them in their 20s without much experience in life, much less in battle. He has two nuclear power plants to manage, plus a floating runway with multi-million dollar aircraft taking off 24 hours a day. Sufficient to say Captain Cardone knows a thing or two about leadership. We’re thrilled to have him on the show today. Jay and Captain Cardone have a deep discussion about how to establish a relationship-based culture with a cadence of accountability and feedback. They also talk about the models and systems Captain Cardone has used, especially as he transitioned from leading a crew of 150 to leading a crew of thousands. You can tell just how much Captain Cardone cares about his team. If you’ve been struggling with delegating tasks and developing your team members, this episode is for you. Challenge of the Week: The next time someone asks you a question, instead of giving them the answer, take an extra second and ask a clarifying question. Take that extra step to get even clearer about what they're looking for and give them a chance to find the answer themselves.  If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. *** Boost your language skills fast. Want to learn a new language but tired of the same old boring apps? Check out Lingoda. Lingoda provides real live classes with actual teachers, 24/7. Yes, 24/7. So whether you’re an early riser or a night owl, you can fit language learning into your busy schedule. Join Ligoda for a one-month sprint to boost your language skills. Go to try.lingoda.com/Onething to get an additional $25 off. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Asking better questions Investing in models and systems Establishing standards and expectations Links & Tools from This Episode: Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA Media

Do you have something you’ve been dreaming about doing for a while, but keep finding reasons to put it off? Take this episode as a sign to go do it today.  Officially taking over as host, Jay Papasan outlines new changes to the podcast that will better serve listeners: More actionable content and more conversations driven by questions from people trying to implement The ONE Thing out in the real world. Then Jay turns the challenge back to you. What changes do you need to make? What dream have you been deferring? He tells his own “just start” story, which involves Gary Keller and a toilet plunger—you don’t want to miss it! Challenge of the Week: Open your calendar, block 30 minutes today, and use that time to take the first step toward your dream. Keep it simple—pick one small action you can complete right now. Start small, stay consistent, and build momentum. If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Changes to the podcast that will bring more value to listeners The balance between being a dreamer and a doer The importance of just taking the first step Links & Tools from This Episode: Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. *** Boost your language skills fast. Want to learn a new language but tired of the same old boring apps? Check out Lingoda. Lingoda provides real live classes with actual teachers, 24/7. Yes, 24/7. So whether you’re an early riser or a night owl, you can fit language learning into your busy schedule. Join Ligoda for a one-month sprint to boost your language skills. Go to try.lingoda.com/Onething to get an additional $25 off. *** Produced by NOVA Media

It’s time for the host to sit in the hot seat. For over 70 episodes, Nikki Miller asked guests insightful questions, connecting their theories to practical implementation for The ONE Thing podcast listeners. Today, she’s the one being interviewed. Jay Papasan takes on his new role as host. Nikki reflects on what it’s meant to be a public ambassador of The ONE Thing, all the preparation that has gone into each show, and how she has prioritized showing up authentically. She also shares what it’s been like to navigate selling her business and merging her team during this time. Join us in thanking Nikki for all the incredible episodes and wishing her well on her maternity leave! Email us at [email protected] or send an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: The work that goes on behind the scenes to create an episode of The ONE Thing Nikki’s favorite episodes The power of The ONE Thing community Links & Tools from This Episode: Listen to Episode 434. Become a Supercommunicator with Charles Duhigg Listen to Episode 440. Worthy: How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life Listen to Episode 451. Mind Magic with Dr. James Doty Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] or send us an audio note at Speakpipe.com/the1thing. Produced by NOVA Media

Can you imagine freeing up 30% of executives’ time, while also increasing joy and resilience in the workplace? Keith Ferrazzi joins the show today to discuss his new book, “Never Lead Alone,” which promises to do exactly that. Keith walks us through some of the diagnostic questions and high return practices (HRPs) outlined in “Never Lead Alone” that can create a new social contract and culture in teams. We talk about moving from conflict avoidance to candor; from feedback as a directive to feedback as data; and from energy-sucking meetings to modern-day collaboration tactics. Keith has coached the best of the best in the business world. Now, he has reached a point in his journey where he wants to share what he has learned as widely as possible. Don’t miss this episode! If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Teamship vs. leadership How practices change culture What holds teams back from high performance Links & Tools from This Episode: Receive exclusive content when you pre-order your copy of Never Lead Alone  For all of Keith Ferrazzi’s other books, go to KeithFerrazzi.com/books Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] Produced by NOVA Media

Learning, innovation, and growth all rely on failure. The discomfort of failure bakes important lessons into our brains. The uncertainty that precedes the point of failure expands our minds. Dr. Manu Kapur joins the show today to explain why we should deliberately design for failure in our businesses and personal lives. Dr. Manu Kapur heads the Future Learning Initiative at ETH University Zurich and recently wrote a book called, “Productive Failure: Unlocking Deeper Learning through the Science of Failing.” He marries scientific research and practical insights to help leaders find the optimal “failure signal.” We get into details around “motivational hacking,” failure stories, performance appraisals, and how to build a psychologically safe work culture.  Don’t worry, this episode isn’t a celebration of failure itself. It’s a clear-eyed discussion about the value of accepting struggle and growing from it. Take a listen. If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Why exploration should come before expert knowledge in a learning sequence How to maintain motivation in the midst of failure  What it looks like to design for productive failure Links & Tools from This Episode: Read “Productive Failure” Learn more at ProductiveFailure.com Learn more at ManuKapur.com Connect with Dr. Manu Kapur on LinkedIn Follow Dr. Manu Kapur on Instagram Email Dr. Manu Kapur at [email protected] Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] Produced by NOVA Media

Fifteen years ago, when Jenn Lewis was first asked questions from The Goal Setting Retreat, she cried. To be fair, her partner JP hadn’t told her what they were for and he brought them up in the middle of a busy restaurant. Today, Jenn joins the show to share what couples can expect from The Goal Setting Retreat and how they may get emotional… in a good way. Jay Papasan serves as the host for this episode. He and Jenn swap stories of attending The Goal Setting Retreat with their respective partners. They discuss how the retreat helps couples be vulnerable with each other and communicate well. They describe the components of the retreat and what attendees will come away with. If you and your partner need some structured time to deeply communicate and concretely plan out how to reach your goals, check out The Goal Setting Retreat. To learn more, go to the1thing.com/goal-setting-retreat. If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: How the Goal Setting Retreat helps couples be vulnerable with each other and communicate better Stories from Jenn’s first experience with the Goal Setting Retreat The components of the Goal Setting Retreat Links & Tools from This Episode: Learn more and buy in-person or virtual tickets at the1thing.com/goal-setting-retreat  Read “The Psychology of Money” Read “The Road Less Stupid” Read “The Gap and the Gain” Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] Produced by NOVA Media

Is your business actually stalling out or are you just bored? How can you tell the difference? And if you are just bored, how can you overcome that? Nikki Miller and Chris Dixon do a deep dive into the topic, giving clear tactics to address the issue. Nikki and Chris discuss iterative reflection, “gap and gain,” autonomy, and authorship. They also dig into habit formation, mindsets, and accountability.  If you are feeling restless or burnt out, or you can sense that your team is, this is the episode for you. In fact, consider sharing this episode with your team to jumpstart a conversation. If you're a bold risk taker who wants to dream big and achieve a higher level of success in your life or business, visit the1thing.com. *** To learn more, and for the complete show notes, visit: the1thing.com/pods. We talk about: Why the path to success can feel monotonous  Tactics to prevent boredom or burnout How to keep your team engaged on the path to success Links & Tools from This Episode: Download a free copy of the 411 tool Free Resources Want to be a guest or share feedback? Email [email protected] Produced by NOVA Media