405. The psychology of betrayal

We are bombarded with ideas about how we should look, behave, and be. But instead of trying to constantly strive for the societal ideal, we can cut through the noise another way - and that’s by cultivating self-love. The funny thing is, psychology actually shows us that the more confident and self-loving we are, the more attractive we become. It’s a win-win… if we can get there. Today, we're going to talk about how loving ourselves makes us more attractive. We unpack: •  The power of the mind-body link and self-esteem•  Why plastic surgery might not make us happy •  The damaging physical effects of negative self-talk•  How simple behavioural changes affect how others see us•  Why cultivating self-love is the greatest gift we can give ourselves Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your 20s are sold to you as the “best years of your life” - which is hilarious, considering how many of us spend them underpaid, overthinking, heartbroken, living in transitional housing, and finding a new identity every 6 months. So what does it actually mean to ‘romanticise your 20s’? In this episode, we break down romanticising as a real psychological skill - how your brain constructs meaning, why attention shapes what feels like reality, and why building a coherent life story matters most when your life feels messy. We explore:•        Why your attention changes your experience•        The neuroscience and cognition of meaning-making•        The role of emergent adulthood•        Why narrative psychology is so important•        Five grounded ways to romanticise your life Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4324396/https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224545.2025.2563539https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3045747/ The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Betrayal doesn’t just ‘hurt your feelings.’ It shatters your nervous system, hijacks your sense of reality, and rewires your brain for fear and hypervigilance. We can be betrayed - or betray someone else - in a myriad of ways, with life-shattering results. In this episode, we explore the psychological impact of betrayal, delve into the reasons people betray us, and explore ways we can heal. We explore: Why betrayal can appear in many forms How the act of being betrayed affects our brain Why someone might betray us Betrayal blindness and institutional betrayal Why the betrayal grief cycle is similar to losing a loved one How we can heal, move on, and learn to trust ourselves again Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why is it that we can have a million visions, dreams and goals for how we want our life to be, but we can't seem to execute any of them? Is it laziness? Lack of discipline? Or fear? In today's episode, we break down the analysis paralysis that comes with wanting to do everything, and instead doing nothing at all. Our discussion includes:  The three types of fear keeping us stuck The most famous study on decision making!  The psychology of regret How to choose what path to follow first Dealing with the judgement of others And so much more! Happy listening!    Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The best things in life aren't always the easiest and it's often this exertion and extra effort that holds us back from diving in or fully committing. Whether it's a new routine, an ambitious study schedule or workout plan, knowing how we can use psychology and neuroscience to make hard tasks easier is incredibly valuable. In today's episode we discuss: • The 5 minute rule• The power of a persona• Using mental imagery and visualisation to do hard things• The power of learned industriousness• The 3 forms of motivation to know and implement This episode will make all the hard things you've been putting off infinitely easier. Listen now! Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’ve all heard the phrase trauma bonding, often used in jest to talk about two people who became friends after meeting in difficult circumstances. But trauma bonding is actually a psychological phenomenon which defines a relationship characterised by an abuser and their target, and a cycle that can be very hard to break out of. In this episode, we unpack the characteristics of a trauma bond, how you can identify if you might be experiencing one, and steps you can take to break away from one. We explore: What a trauma bond looks like Why trauma bonds can happen What a trauma bond ISN’T Why trauma bonds can play out in a variety of relationships How to identify if you are experiencing a trauma bond Steps you can take to move away from a trauma bond A few resources to help you if you are struggling with a trauma bond:  The Attachment Project: HERE Choosing Therapy: HERE Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We all want to feel that we fit into a social group. But how does this play out when it comes to trends? From ‘mob wife energy’ to ‘cottagecore’, rapidly-evolving microtrends put more aesthetic-driven content in front of us than ever before, and it can feel hard to keep up. In this episode, we explore the ways that social media, fast fashion and ‘dopamine culture’ can pressure us to buy, how microtrend fatigue is giving way to a new type of self-expression, and how we can healthily navigate our own consumption of microtrends. We explore: The 5 stages of a trend, and how microtrends are different How world events influence microtrends Why social contagion, social conformity, and individual expression influence our behaviour Why social media and fast fashion have led to an explosion in microtrends The role of ‘dopamine culture’ on our brains Microtrend fatigue, and how ‘vibes’ might be replacing them When to buy, and when to wait Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's our 400th episode! Today is a special episode. Feeling stuck, behind, or like you’re wasting your 20s is not a rare experience. But you might just be focusing on the wrong milestones... In this episode, we break down 15 unconventional things I think everyone should do in their 20s and the psychology behind why.  Some of the bucket list items we discuss:  The best money lessons you learn through experience  The importance of yearly challenges and quitting the things you depend on The plan you can make for your life, today Why we all need to do a social audit  Solitude, relationships and the love you should find in your 20s Happy listening! Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

  We all know exercise is ‘good for us’, but why is it that a walk can calm your brain, why a workout can feel like emotional release, or why movement can become either self-care or self-punishment. In this episode, we unpack the psychology of exercise – what’s happening to our brains over time, where the ‘exercise as antidepressants’ claim came from, and what happens when it crosses into obsession. We explore:•        The role of endorphins and endocannabinoids•        How movement can regulate our emotions•        Identity and motivation in exercise•        How exercise changes our brains•        The role of exercise in treating depression•        How to build a healthier relationship with exercise Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]  Our favourite sources:  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10813489/ https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/56/2/101.abstract https://insight.jci.org/articles/view/126190 The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Feeling stuck in your 20s is a rite of passage, but it's can also feel deeply hopeless when nothing in your life seems to be moving or changing in the way you want it to. In today's episode, we break down some of the reasons we feel stuck and the five things you can do in the next 6 months to change that, including:  The 10 minute mind map tool to get you out of a funk  Why you need to stop asking other people for advice The 6 month challenge project  Plus so much more Happy listening!  The episode I mentioned: How to feel like yourself again The book I mentioned: The Anatomy of a Breakthrough   Watch on Netflix: HERE Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s For business: [email protected]    The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.